The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
by Idiosyncrasy101
Summary: This be the sequel to Bite Me, mateys! And...well, you'll just have to read, 'cause it's kind of hard to sum up. NOT HISTORICALLY ACCURATE, NOR IS IT MEANT TO BE. This is strictly for pleasure, not for praise or for profit.
1. Cause It All Has To Start Somewhere

_DISCLAIMER: There are quite a few things in here that we can't stake a claim on—characters, some jokes, sanity…BUT this time we do own plot! HA!_

_Author's Note: Yep! You guessed it! We're baaack!!! After a painfully long interlude, Li, Ava, and Adara have returned for another story! Be afraid…be very afraid…_

_-_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1

James Earl Jones (narrating): The setting…is the set. The people…are _nowhere_ to be found. But never fear, good people, for all great tales begin with a tragedy, and this is ours…

Our hero stands…_fearless_…without fear in her wonderessness she stands!

**superman theme plays as Li comes into view**

Li: **pulls at hair and runs in panicked circles** AHHHHHHHH! DOOOOOM! PAIN! AGONY! _WOE!_

Ava: **turns to crew** Okay, people, let's move in!

James Earl Jones: One set! One crew! And one script…_TO RULE THEM ALL!_

Adara: …What the crap…?

James Earl Jones: _WHAT WILL YOU DO…TO SURVIVE?_

Li: **flails** Diablo!!!

James Earl Jones: Will someone shut her up…? Trying to announce….jeez…

Ava: Here we go again…

Adara: **puts on sunglasses and strikes a pose**

Li: Okay…**serious** Let's go…**runs off to conference room screaming wordlessly, with Ava and Adara in her wake**

James Earl Jones: The following events are likely to include extreme danger to the sanity of all included—especially for witnesses. You have been warned…

XXX

Ava: _What _is with the glorifying of the evil dictator all of a sudden? And when did you get minions?

Li: **grins and sits back** I'm just that good. Aren't they great?

Adara: They're…ninjas…

Li: They are not! They are _minjas!_ There's a huge, huge difference! **indignant**

**minja suddenly comes flying at Adara from atop a shuriken, screaming like a banshee**

Ava: O…kay…

Li: **cackles and stirs her cauldron**

**cast and crew quake in fear**

Ava: Give it a rest, Li. Okay, guys, y'all are here today for an informal—

Li: WE'RE FILMIN' IN FIVE!

Adara: …You just keep on thinkin' that, sweetie.

**scowls and hugs Rico Suave **I do believe we have a mutiny underway, Rico…

Ava: ANARCHY IN THE UK!

Li: …This sucks.

Ava: So anyway. Does anyone have any questions?

Random guy: …I have to go to the bathroom.

Li: Well then you can just go straight to hell, then, can't you?!

Ava: Li, be nice.

Li: Huh?

Adara: She said be nice.

Li: Come again?

Ava: Be. Nice.

Li: …I don't understand what you're saying to me.

Ava: **sigh** Never mind.

**random, very ugly Latino pops into the room**

Latino: The fun has arriiiived!

**cast and crew start to scream**

Li: WE CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT OUR MUSHY PEAS ON FRIDAY!

Ava: …Hi, Karasu.

Alleged Karasu: I am not Karasu. I am his cousin…er…Latino.

Adara: …_Latino? _You put no thought into this…

Ava: And that is a _horrible_ accent.

Li: This isn't our villain. Not again. Is this our villain? Tell me this isn't our villain…

Adara: This is our villain.

Li: _Why?! _**wails**

Ava: All your renditions of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" in the asylum really hit us hard. Now we're hitting you with out best shot!

Li: I hate you.

Karasu: YAY!!! MOVIE!!!

Li: RED RUM, RED RUM, RED RUM!

Adara: **shakes head**

Ava: Only in Disturbia.

Adara: Yep.

XXX

The box was feeling very disrespected. Since the very dawn of its life, it had been treated far too lightly for its taste, and now it was being stuffed and loaded and taped and tossed around like a toy.

And now it was all dark, and there were a lot of other boxes grumbling around it, and things were cramped and stuffy and noisy until Box finally lost its train of thought and was able to ignore everything for awhile.

Next it was picked up once again and tossed out into the light and set down on the ground. There was a pounding and a yell and then box was alone.

Box waited for a long time, and just when it was about to get _really_ bored, the door opened and a delighted—and slightly evil—voice murmured, "_Finally_. Mwahahaha…"

Box had one moment to think, _Damn,_ before it was ruthlessly torn apart.

XXX

Shura clutched the book in his arms, face shining with evil glee. "Ha ha…at last, it is _mind_! After months…years…MILLENNIA!"

Yomi stumped in and muttered, "You're only twelve years old. Don't be dramatic, young whippershnapper. It's ridiculous."

"Go kill yourself, fart-face."

Yomi stumped out again and Shura went back to gloating over his prize—_The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything._

It really had taken him a long time to track down the sort-of sequel to _The Princess Bride_—almost _six months_, which, when converted to childtime, may actually turn to millennia, or at least centuries.

So he felt that he wasn't really being all _that_ dramatic.

_Ha ha, I win again, _senior citizen.

And with that thought, Shura opened his book and settled down to read.

XXX

CRASH!

"Oh, dear."

"Is that _all_ you can say?"

"…Hiei's gonna…"

"I know very well what Hiei's gonna do, Miguel."

"Are you so sure about that?"

"Oh…uh…hi, Hiei."

"BENJIMAN GUEVERRA, _WHAT DID YOU DO?!" _A pause, and then, "Hiei, love, why don't you stop strangling Benji now so we can get to the bottom of this?"

"What for…?"

Gurgle.

"Hiei, he's turning purple."

"So?"

"So you should probably let him go."

Choke.

"But why?"

"Because it will all be very messy to cover up if you kill him."

"But I _have_ to murder him! There's a giant _hole_ in my ship!"

"I see that."

"So you see, it's the _principle_ of the thing."

Wheeze.

"Hiei, let me take it from here, okay? You should see what you can do to keep us from sinking."

Gag.

"…Fine. Fun-sucker."

XXX

Benji didn't really know _how_ it happened. He knew _when_ it happened, though! It was right about the time he started sobering up…

"…_I was truck last night, dear Mother…I was truck the night before…but if you'll forgive me, dear Mother…ya know, this is a LOT more fun when I'm actually drunk. Benji blinked up at his lover, who was at work steering the _Revenge

"_Hmm…" the redhead added intelligently._

"_More tequila! John Adams! Where's Jose?!"_

"_No more for you, buddy," Miguel laughed, clicking his tongue thoughtfully. After a year of sailing on the _Revenge_, he had become very fluent in drunken sailor. He very much enjoyed being able to understand English, even if it _was_ often only drunken sailor babble._

"_I hear…a noise…"_

_Miguel listened, too. "Like…nails on a chalkboard?"_

"_I was thinking more along the lines of dying cat…"_

_Miguel frowned. "I don't even want to ask how you know what that sounds like…" But nevertheless, he walked over to the side of the ship and peered over. "Oh, look, Benny! Girls!"_

"_Oh, hey, cool…I'd almost forgotten what those look like…" Benji said thoughtfully, joining his lover. "Oh…hey…are those…?"_

"_Oh, wow, I think so…"_

_The sirens leapt and twirled in the water, singing their beautiful songs and throwing meaningful glances at the two on their ship._

"_Wow, so they really do…"_

"_Try and seduce men?"_

"_Yeah…_eew! Boobies! _Miguel, make it stop!"_

_Miguel thought a moment, then called politely, "Um…excuse me? Ladies?"_

_The sirens stopped their dance and looked surprised._

"_I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just thought you'd like to know that you're wasting your time…"_

_The sirens began to frown and generally look offended._

"_Well, you see, we don't like girls…not that you're not attractive. I'm sure you're very pretty. Just…not to us. I'm sorry…" Miguel finished, somewhat sadly. "So…maybe you should go find another ship?"_

_But in the end, the sirens did _not_ end up following Miguel's advice._

_It only took a few holes bitten in the bottom of the ship and the surprising strength of the sirens hurling sea boulders at the _Revenge_ to get them where they were at this moment…_

…Sinking fast, with Hiei killing poor Benji and Miguel interpreting the siren story to Kurama.

"Ahh…just like the Great Mermaid Fiasco of '56…"

XXX

Li: CUUUT!

Ava: Wow, she's been practicing.

Adara: **nods wisely **Yeah, she's really had to step up her role as we reach the end of the show…

Ava: **patiently** Uh, sis, who exactly do you think we're talking about?

Adara: Oh. We're not discussing Keiko Agena?

Ava: Wha…how…_eh?_

**meanwhile, Karasu bounces energetically around Li**

Karasu: Hey, Li, whatcha doin'? Huh? Have you finished my scene yet? When do I come in? Do I get to wear a dress again? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Li: **seizes** Karasu…talk to me again and you'll wake up tomorrow very confused in a Siberian convent.

Karasu: …You wouldn't…

Li: Oh, yeah? t**akes out measuring tape **Let's get you measured for a wimple…

Karasu: NOOO! **runs away wailing** Black is NOT my color!

Li: **takes out Rico and screams** People! Next scene! NOW! Yes, I am PMSing! Anyone who doesn't wish for a slow and painful death should bring me some Midol immediately!

XXX

_Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,_

_A tale of a fateful trip,_

_That started from this tropic port_

_Aboard this tiny ship—_

"MY SHIP IS _NOT TINY!"_

_The mate was a mighty sailor man—_

"No, the mate was Benji. There's a _huge difference_."

"Hey! Not nice, Hiei!"

_The skipper brave and sure—_

"What the hell's a skipper?"

"I think it means 'captain'…"

"…Oh. They got that one right, then."

SMACK.

"Ow."

_Five passengers set sail that day—_

"Five? Where'd the rest go?"

_For a three-hour tour,_

_A three-hour tour—_

"And has it really only been three hours? What the hell?"

"Fascinating…"

_The weather started getting rough._

_The tiny ship was tossed—_

"RIGHT INTO THE BLOODY SIREN'S GODFORSAKEN PIEHOLE!"

_If not for the courage of the fearless crew,_

_The Minnow would be lost—_

"Die!"

_The Minnow would be lost—_

"Die twice!"

_The ship sunk ground on the shore of this_

_Uncharted desert isle,_

_With Gilligaaaaan—_

"Who in God's name is Gilligan?

_The skipper toooo…_

"La la la la LA!!! _I can't hear you!!!"_

_The millionaaaire_

_And his wiiife._

"Oh, to have a million dollars…"

"They _make _that much money? Weeeeird…"

_The movie star…_

Kurama struck a pose.

_The professor aaand Mary Aaaaane…_

"AIIIIIEEEEE!!!" **bushes shake**

"…Eh?"

"…Here on Gilligan's Isle…"

"STOP ENCOURAGING THE DISEMBODIED VOICE, BENJI!"

XXX

"…Why are we here again?" Benji said, giving an odd glance at the tropical jungle of Gilligan.

Then it was Miguel's turn to stare oddly at Benji. "I thought it would be fairly obvious…"

Benji looked at his surroundings awkwardly. "Here? Now?"

Miguel hit Benji with his bucket, clearly disgusted. "Eww! Benji, grow up!"

"Ow…"

"We are _here_ to get tree sap and wood. So we can patch up the giant hole in Hiei's ship to hold it until we reach Cuba."

"Goodie…hey, Miguel?"

"Yeah, Benji?"

"New game…Every time Hiei starts talking to nonexistent voices or himself or coconuts, just do a shot."

At that point Miguel thrust the bucket into Benji's hands. "Get the sap, Benji."

"Oh, if only Erik were here. He would've at least chuckled a bit. Alas, poor Erik, God rest his soul."

Miguel frowned. "Erik's standing _right over there_, Benji. What exactly did you think happened to him?"

"I thought he got eaten by a turtle…"

"Uh…how?"

"_Very _slowly. There's _lots _of chewing."

"And in this psychotic daydream of yours your best friend elects _not_ to run away from what is perhaps the slowest land animal on Earth?"

"Well, its first bite injects him with immobilizing poison."

"Oh, it makes _perfect_ sense now!" Miguel said sarcastically. "You're sick."

Benji grinned impishly. "Yeah, and cute, huh?"

"In a strange way, yes…oh, no, I did _not_ just say that…"

Benji nodded with a sickeningly happy smile.

"Don't try to drag me down into your world."

The first mate shrugged and then turned to a kiwi tree. "Hey…" he blinked, plucking one. "You look familiar...I munna name you…Miguel…" He sighed dreamily and hugged the fruit to his chest.

Miguel growled and drew himself up to his full height of 4'11". "BEEENNN-JI!"

Benji shoved the tiny fruit in his mouth and gave his lover a big green grin. "Wes, Miguel?"

"What's that?"

"Hmmm…?"

"If you're trying to hide that kiwi from me, you're incredibly dumb."

"Wes I awm, wery muwch."

"Spit out the kiwi and step away from it, Benji."

"O-tay! Patoowie!"

"Now don't we feel better about our decision?"

"Yes?"

"Exactly." Miguel looked around and squealed suddenly. "Ooh, look, Benny, a newt!"

Benji looked where Miguel was pointing, but the small creature was already gone.

Miguel's lip trembled. "Benji, where newt go?" he asked, slipping back to the old ways in his upset. "Make it come back!"

Well, we all know how Benji resists _that_, and in a moment he was cautiously approaching the bush. "Heeere, Mr. Newt. C'mere. Miguel wants to see you…"

"SHADDUP! THE NEWT IS DEAD! YOU HEAR ME? _DEAD! _YOU WILL NEVER SEE IT AGAIN!"

Benji screamed loudly and ran to hide behind Miguel, looking over his lover's shoulder at the woman who had just popped out of the bushes, a newt dangling from her mouth by its tail.

"Hi," Keiko said. "Got any newt eyes?"

XXX

"Will it hold 'til Cuba?" Kurama inquired, coming up to put his arms around Hiei's waist.

"It better," Hiei grumbled, shooting Benji a death glare.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT? IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

"Watch your tongue, Benji, or I might decide to rip it out," Hiei replied flatly. "WE SAIL IN ONE HOUR, PEOPLE! ANYONE WHO IS NOT ON BOARD BY THEN GETS LEFT BEHIND! NOW _LOAD UP!"_

"…Have you ever thought about maybe…lightening up a little?" Kurama asked wryly, raising one eyebrow as he watched people scurry around on Hiei's viciously barked orders.

Hiei blinked at his lover in a confused sort of way. "…Why?"

The redhead chuckled and grabbed Hiei's hand, dragging him onto the ship. "We've only been here a couple days and I'm already more than ready to be gone…"

Hiei chuckled. "And you used to be such a landblubber…"

Kurama grinned and pulled Hiei into a long, slow kiss that deepened and made the sailors who were watching the whistle in a teasing sort of way. The grin grew into an amused smile when they pulled apart. "Talk more like a sailor."

"Sorry, work to do!" Hiei replied, turning to leave the ship.

Kurama pouted. "Hiiiiieeeeeiiiii…"

XXX

"You need to slip it now," Keiko growled for the second time, peering over the ship chef's shoulder.

Mikail scowled at her. "Y'know, lady, frying newts isn't exactly a normal part of my job."

"I know," Keiko replied without batting an eye. "That's why I'm telling you what to do."

Still scowling, the chef went back to cooking.

"Okay, it really is time to flip it now. Flip it…flip it…WILL YOU JUST FLIP THE DAMN NEWT?!" When Mikail continued to ignore her, the last of Keiko's patience sapped away. "You know what? Move."

"_Eh?_"

"You're completely destroying the newt I worked so hard to catch. "You're fired, get out of the way."

Hiei, Kurama, Miguel and Benji were gathered together, arguing again about whose fault all this was—and about who should be responsible for turning Keiko loose on the ship—when Mikail banged and crashed his way onto the deck. He marched up to Hiei and screamed in his face.

"THAT'S IT! I CAN'T HANDLE THIS PSYCHOTIC CREW ANYMORE! _I QUIT!_"

Hiei let out a long-suffering sigh as he watched the irate man stomp off. "Why me…? Miguel, go schmooze him into sticking around."

"And keep three feet between you two at all times," Benji reminded him.

"I know, I know," Miguel responded, rolling his eyes. "It's not like I don't do this at least once a week."

Once the small, lethal weapon left, Hiei raised his voice and bellowed, "ALL FREE HANDS, FRONT AND CENTER!"

"Uh…Hiei, what're you doing?" Kurama asked nervously.

Hiei winked, and Kurama's apprehension grew.

"All right, men," he said to the assembled group. "I have an assignment. We have a vermin infestation on the ship and it must be exterminated immediately. It will likely be a very dangerous mission, but I have every confidence in your abilities."

_Ha. I wish._

"Now…TO THE GALLEY, MEN!"

XXX

The sailor in the crow's nest was peering intently at the shoreline when there rose a commotion on the deck far below. He peered over the edge with interest and watched as a group of five or six carried a struggling, screeching, cursing woman out of the galley. He could easily make out the words, and they were rather interesting.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I AM THE GREAT KEIKO UKIMURA, KILLER OF NEWTS AND YUSUKES! _YOU WILL SHOW RESPECT!_ PUT ME DOWN! STOP! STOP, I SAY! OH, YOU WILLL REGRET THIS! YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU HEARD MY NAME! NOOO!"

The sailor watched as Keiko was unceremoniously stuffed in a cabin and the door locked, before he looked up again to resume his watch.

A moment later, his voice echoed over the whole ship.

"LAAAAAND HOOOOO!"

XXX

Li: Where am I?

Adara: Huh?

Ava: Eh?

Li: I dunno…is that food I smell?

Ava: I think so. The people just set up the thing with the alleged sustenance. I believe it is the time for us to partake of these victuals.

Li: …Duh…?

Ava: Food there.

Adara: Good food.

Ava: Eat now?

Li: Oh, cool. You there, get me food.

Random hot guy: Me?

Li: I guess so. Depends on who you are.

Hot Guy: DUDE! FOOD! **stuffs sandwich into mouth and mutters around it** Oh, my God, that is delicious…SAMMY, GET OVER HERE AND EAT THIS STUFF! IT'S _WONDERFUL!_

Hot Guy #2: It's Sam. And no.

Adara: **drops $25,000 worth of video and stereo equipment**

Ava: Oh, my God. Is that…?

Adara: I think so…

Ava: **begins chewing on hair**

**both run over and throw themselves on Sam**

Sam: AAAHHH! NO! LEMME GO!

**Adara and Ava wrestle him to the ground and begin poking**

Karasu: **comes pirouetting through in a flowey pink dress** Tra la la la la…

Li: **screams into megaphone** SOMEONE GO GRAB THE EYE OF NEWT! KEIKO'S FOAMING AT THE MOUTH!

Nac Mac Feegle: She be foamin', ye say? Then she be dangerous! C'mon, men! ATTACK!

**Yellow-Eyed Demon walks in with about 200 people behind him**

YED: Well, isn't this fun? **surveys chaos**

Sam: **finally escapes from Ava and Adara** Oh, thank God, an all-powerful demon lord and his army! Finally, something I can handle!

Dean: **eats sandwich**

Li: **taps the YED on the shoulder** Excuse me, sir, but who are you?

Sam: The ultimate evil, presumably.

Dean: **snorts** Presumably…pansy…

Li: Ah…I see. **cough** Amateur…hey, mind moving your ugly butt off my set, Mr. Demon? But by all means, leave Sam, Dean, and the army.

YED: Why would I do that?

Li: I've always wanted my own uber demon army and De Boyz. Call it a midlife crisis.

Ava/Adara: **still swarming Sam**

YED: What does that leave me, then?

Li: Erm…I could always leave you with Karasu…

YED: **turns pale** Fine, take 'em! And the Colt. Here, have my car keys, too!

Li: Thank you.

YED: **glances at Karasu and flees in terror**

Dean: **hands Li a sandwich**

Li: Ever consider being a PA?

Dean: Once.

Li: Then this will clearly be the start of a beautiful friendship. Hey! **points to a demon **Get me and Adara and Ava some gelato!

**demon scurries off**

Li: NEXT SCENE!

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_Author's Note: Wow! It's a story! A new one! Can you believe it?! AND we're gonna try to update faster than we did on the last story! Except for the fact that finals are coming up next week, so it'll probably be at least that long before we post again. But after THAT there will be more!_

_Oh, and just so you all know—the main pairing in this story is Benji/Miguel. Hiei and Kurama will still be here sometimes, but they're NOT THE MAIN CHARACTERS. Just so you all know._

_We had more things to say…I know I did…but we can't seem to remember them right now. Oh, well, we'll think of it later…_


	2. Pirate & Co

Chapter 2

"So…uh…how does one go about hiring an entirely new crew after all the old guys have been fired?" Benji asked, looking around with a slight frown at the Cubans scurrying around the port. His lip curled in distaste as he studied the workmen. "I mean, they're all so…_efficient_. There's no _compatibility_ here!"

Miguel rolled his eyes. "Benji, you're trying to find someone who will let you boss him around, not someone you can date."

"Well, fine, then. What's _your_ idea?"

Miguel thought about it a moment, then abruptly reached out and caught the arm of the next man who passed. "The guy—who was carrying a rather large and weighty-looking box—stopped and stared at him.

"Hmm…okay, you're hired," Miguel decided.

"…Um?" the guy said helpfully.

"Yes, yes, I know, you're very welcome," Miguel said modestly. "Be back here in two hours so we can take you to the ship."

"Sir, I…have a job."

"Well, go on, then. You don't have all that much time to listen to him bluster when you quit. Better get to it!"

The guy spluttered. "But…I…"

"Yes?" Miguel asked sweetly, batting his eyelashes.

The guy went to quit his job.

Miguel turned back to Benji, who was staring at him. "Yes?" he asked again.

"Uh…nothing," Benji said. "I just think I'll leave the hiring to you, is all. Let's…uh…get to it, shall we?"

XXX

"And here I thought _yours_ were the lowest standards society could offer," Erik said, tossing back another shot of whiskey and staring at the long line of desperados who had lined up to apply for the esteemed job of deckhand.

Miguel sighed and called in a reluctant and tired voice, "Smelly Brent McClaskey."

A rather large and bearded man with a beer in hand who definitely lived up to his name stepped forward. "That's me."

Benji stood and stared hard at him. "Mr. Smelly…do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?"

Smelly Brent stared stupidly at him. "Ah-duh…"

"…NEXT!"

"Mr. Tookie Clothespin!" Miguel announced, and the man stepped forward.

"Excuse me, sirs, but does the job involve pie?"

"…No."

Tookie Clothespin looked disappointed and left.

"Sheisty McSheisterson!"

"Okay, so first thing's first, sirs. Ya gotta believe me, see, 'cause no matter what anyone tells you, they was both dead when I found 'em."

"NEXT!"

"Squeegee Beckenheim!"

"I just want you to know, sirs, that I will happily take a bullet for any one of you. I shall defend you with my very life and even the lives of those around me, if necessary."

"That's…very comforting, Squeegee," Benji said nervously. "Um…next?"

"Jim-Bob McMelonhopper!"

Benji and Miguel studied the tall, handsome man and at the same time said appreciatively, "You're hired."

"Rox the Danger-Major!"

"Oh, I like the sound of that," Benji whispered.

Then a large black dog in a studded collar stepped forward and emitted a low growl.

"Uh…you're hired…you can…uh…guard the rum…" Benji informed her.

The dog walked over to stand next to Jim-Bob.

"Rin Supernova!"

A small girl came forward, dragging a cannon. "Hi!" she said chipperly. "I brought the mandatory cannon! Nice cannon! Go boom!"

"Uh…no one said you needed a cannon…" Erik said.

She looked puzzled. "But I thought the French Foreign Legion _liked_ cannons…"

"…We're in _Cuba!"_

"…But that's not cool…Cuba isn't French…"

"And that…disappoints you?"

"Well, it's just…they don't sing songs about the _Spanish_ Foreign Legion! Not _ever!"_

Benji and Miguel looked at each other. "Well, I'm sold," Miguel said.

"You're hired," Benji told Rin, who immediately began to struggle to bring her cannon to the other side of the room.

"OH, YEAH! WHAT NOW, BOOM! _WHAT NOW?"_ she shouted in triumph upon reaching her goal.

Benji raised an eyebrow, but did not comment as Miguel bellowed, "JIRO! …Er…JUST JIRO!"

"No, no, _no_, sirs, it's said like _this_…" Throwing his hands up in a jazz-hands movement, he whispered, "Just Jiro."

"…Okay. What do you do, Jiro?"

"I'm a chaplain. And…" Looking over, Jiro caught Erik's eye with a steady gaze. "Well, I do other…less _pure_ things, as well."

Erik promptly fell out of his chair.

Benji grinned. "You're hired."

Miguel clapped his hands with childish delight. "Yay! We have a crew! Let's go to the ship!"

Then, as they were all leaving, he leaned over and murmured sidelong to Benji, "Mean, mean, mean."

Benji grinned. "I know."

XXX

"…And these are the thingies that make the ship go—" Benji told the guys he referred to as The Rookies, gesturing expansively.

"The sails," Miguel coughed.

"—And this is the thingy that keeps those thingies from flying away," Benji went on, blithely ignoring the redhead.

"The mast," Miguel said.

"This is the thing we use to steer the ship."

"The helm."

"That's the galley/bar, we're standing on the deck…"

"The crow's nest is up!" Miguel chirped idly. "It's mine!"

"And that is…erm…Miguel?"

Miguel blinked. "It's…uh…"

"The…plank?" Jim-Bob offered helpfully.

"Pray tell, what is this wonderful contraption you call the plank?"

"It's an execution device where you tie up captives and force them off a wooden plank. Then you sail away, leaving them no hope of rescue."

Benji looked thoughtfully over at Erik. "Really…"

"We thought it was a diving board," Miguel said, studying the plank and poking it.

"The next part of the tour leads us to the cabins. The captain's quarters…."

"Where me and Benji sleep!"

"The infirmary…"

Erik poked his head out the infirmary door. "Stay away from my needles!" _Slam._

Benji scowled and hung a sign on the door. _The place where legends die._

"But Benji, you're not a—"

"Miguel, shush!"

Miguel pouted and paid no heed. "…And that leaves us with the BRIG!"

**Dun dun dun.**

"What was that…?"

"Erm…the Brig."

**Dun dun dun**!

"No, that noise…"

"I dunno…"

"Brig?"

**Dun dun dun.**

Benji giggled. "Br—"

**Dun—**

"Ha! That's fun!"

"ANYWAYS! You do _not_ want to go in there."

"Can't do it."

"Not today."

Jiro tilted his head and crossed his arms. "What's…in there? I hope it's not anything kinky…"

"Kinky!" Rin yelled, waking from a dream before muttering something undecipherable and drifting off again.

"Do you want to see…?"

"Benji…don't do it!"

"SILENCE, MIGUEL!"

"Freak…"

"Behind these doors stands a rabid monster, gentlemen! Mwahahahahaha!"

"You can't be _that_ horrible, Benny….they've only just gotten here!"

"YOU CANNOT STOP THIS, MIGUEL! DO NOT TRY! COME, ALL OF YOU! FOLLOW ME TO YOUR DOOM!"

Jim-Bob was the only one to comment, Rin being asleep and Jiro cleaning his nails with a knife. "Freaks…"

Benji pulled back the door, a pair of purple eyes glowed in the distance, and then…

"CUUUUUUUTE PEEEEOPLE!!!"

"EVERYONE STAND BACK! IT'S RABID!"

…Jim-Bob was being strangled by…something.

Jiro screwed up his face. "Dear God, what is that thing?!"

Benji shrugged. "I dunno. The test results haven't come back from Florin yet. We took it on as a hired stowaway and then it decided to be rabidly in love with the captain, which is just…weird. We call it Berkleus Abnormalus. Berkley for short."

"Hugglemuffins!" Berkley shrieked as Jim-Bob screamed in horror in reaction to the arms squeezing him to death.

"It seems to speak in code, and we have yet to decipher its language," Benji remarked.

"Yes, we have. It's talking to _you_, Ben—"

"That's enough, Miguel."

"But it's—"

"Who are you? Are you lost, little boy?"

"Unbelievable…"

And then Jim-Bob fled screaming from the ship and so, sadly, did not make the cut.

XXX

"You! Move the _thing_! And…and that other thing"

"But…cap'n, if we d that, then…"

"I SAID MOVE THE THING!"

"Okay….if you say so…"

"…Wait…what's going on? Why are we turning? RIN, WHY ARE WE TURNING?"

Miguel watched with a raised eyebrow as Benji frantically tried to get the ship back on course via his frantically barked orders. In the end, Rin threw up her hands in disgust and Miguel came over to take the helm, skillfully maneuvering it, and minutes later, the wind had caught the sails and begun to push the _Arch Angel_ in the right direction.

"…How did you do that?"

Miguel chuckled and turned to drape his arms loosely around Benji's neck, smiling slightly as Benji's arms came immediately around his waist. "When you're in love with a pirate you learn a thing or two about ships. Besides—it's just turning a wheel. It's not difficult."

Benji decided to ignore that. "So tell me…this pirate captain you're so in love with….how deep in love _are_ you?"

The redhead pretended to give it some thought. "About as deep as it gets, I suppose."

"And…do I know him?"

"I believe you're _quite_ well acquainted, actually."

"…If you're talking about anyone else but me I'm gonna kill you."

Miguel burst out laughing, pulling his lover into a kiss. It managed to go uninterrupted for quite come time before…

"CUDDLE-BUNNY!"

"OH, MY GOD, IT'S ALIVE!!! WHO LET IT OUT OF ITS CAGE?! HEEELP MEEE!"

XXX

"…Do these things happen often on this ship?" Jiro asked, watching as Benji was glomped, kissed, and groped by the rabid Berkley-thing.

Erik chuckled, straightening after placing the last sack on top of the pile in front of him. "Most every day. You learn to live with the screaming and the cursing…and the stench, too, though it may not seem like it at the moment."

Jiro laughed, extending his hand for Erik to shake. "I don't think we've been properly introduced in all the rush. "I'm Jiro."

"Erik. Hand me that sack of flour, will you?"

No reply.

Erik blinked and looked up from securing the top of a barrel of rum, only to find Jiro staring intently at him. "…Jiro?"

"Yes, Erik?"

"Hand me that sack, will you?"

Jiro smiled, although his gaze didn't waver as he did as requested.

Erik's face was now lightly flushed and he turned quickly back to his work. "Th-thank you."

The chaplain smiled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "You're welcome."

"So, anyway, as I was saying…" Erik said, speaking quickly. "You get used to this place faster than you think. You even start to love it a little, after a while, and—"

The doctor was interrupted, however, when an empty rum bottle fell with a loud _thunk_ onto Jiro's hand. The think was followed by a splash as Rin fell in a drunken stupor from her perch above them into the water.

Jiro rubbed his hand ruefully. "You get used to that, too, I suppose?"

Erik sighed tiredly. "Hand me that rope, will you?"

XXX

**Cuban Shoreline**

Hiei sighed mournfully as he watched the goings-on of the _Arch Angel_ from the distance. "I can't believe I let Benji be a captain in my fleet. What was I _thinking_?"

"You were thinking he's a good friend who always tried to protect us and you thought you would throw him a line."

"Well…I want my line back! I want to break the line! I want to _force-feed him_ the line!"

Kurama chuckled and slid his arms around Hiei's waist, dropping a kiss onto his neck. "Forget about them."

"One of his crew just fell overboard!"

"Hiei…"

"And they're not even stopping for her!"

"Hiei!"

"BENJI, YOU ARE FIRED!!!"

XXX

Li: …Cut… **cradles a bottle of whiskey**

Adara: Where'd she get that…?

Ava: Booze Anonymous.

Adara: Aren't they supposed to…you know…prevent that?

Li: **slurs while speaking to a cactus** Nay…dis isn't special ship linament…

Ava: Do you want to tell her?

Cactus: Ack, cravens!

Li: I demand that you all stop spinning! Cease! **turns green** I MUNNA BLOW CHUNKS! **flees**

Adara: Eww…

Ava: Where's Suzuka when you need him?

Li: **in the distance** why is it _always_ carrots? I didn't even eat carrots…

Suzuka: Aww, man…now I'm gonna have to clean the dirt again…

Adara: She makes you clean the dirt?

Suzuka: Only every other day.

Ava: Why?

Suzuka: Li says clean dirt is happy dirt.

Li: Suzuka?

Suzuka: Yeah, Li?

Li: Why aren't you cleaning the dirt?

Suzuka: Eep! **goes to clean**

Li: And…ACTION!

XXX

"Well, Benji, so howsabout I make you a celebratory pie! I mean, after all, your first boat—"

"Ship."

"Whatever. We still need something to celebrate this momentous occasion. Now, where's the kitchen?"

"Erm…Miguel?"

"Left?"

"You might not want to…"

"Oh, dear sweet Lord baby Jesus!"

"…Go in there…"

Miguel was perfectly justified in swearing. What he saw, from a chef's viewpoint, was nothing short of disturbing. The galley looked like it was swept up by a tornado. It had about twenty teething toddlers (say that three times fast) set loose inside it, and it had been the site for a smorgasbord of kegger parties.

"Dare I see the actual _kitchen?"_

"Please don't have a heart attack…"

"I'll try to contain myself," Miguel said, reaching out to push back the cobweb-covered door.

He looked inside and let out a little whimper of pain.

"Aww…it's okay, Miguel. We can fix it. I promise."

"Benji…WHAT IS THAT?" Miguel asked, pointing to a fuzzy, glowing green glob that crawled out from under the fridge.

"Look away, Miguel! It's too horrible!" Benji pleaded, rushing him from the kitchen.

"Waaahhh!"

XXX

Erik was perplexed.

Miguel was sobbing.

And Benji was trying his best to explain.

"So you see, the _Arch Angel_ used to be the SS Smelly Bob. I bought it half priced from the captain's son."

Miguel sniffled. "So…how'd he die?"

"Die? No, he went to Vegas!"

"What I don't understand is why the infirmary is brand new," Erik mused.

"Because no one uses the infirmary, and for these reasons three: too drunk, too stupid, or too dead." Benji nodded.

Miguel sighed. "So…what're we gonna do, Benny?"

"I told you, Miguel! I'm gonna fix it!" Benji stated impressively.

"How are you gonna do that, Ben?" Erik asked.

"Pirate…" Benji smirked.

XXX

The bank teller was having a rather rotten day. Actually, he was having a rather rotten week. Year. Decade. Hell, a rather rotten _life_! His job was boring, he had no friends, he couldn't get a girl unless he paid her and maybe not then, his dog had dropped dead this morning, his cat had run off and his hamster wouldn't stop biting him.

Yep, the bank teller told himself, he was pretty sure his life couldn't get any worse.

And then he stubbed his toe on the side of his desk, stapled a paper to one of his fingers, hit his head on a shelf, dropped a stack of freshly-organized files, and allowed a man named Miguel Sanchez to enter his bank.

XXX

It started with the words, "Can I help you?" and ended with the bank teller guarding an empty safe.

The events occurred as follows:

A small red-haired man walked into the bank with three people behind him. He walked up to the desk and said politely, "Good morning."

"Good morning. How can I help you?"

"I need money."

"How much?" the teller asked boredly.

The red-headed man thought about it. "All of it."

"Erm…does it all _belong_ to you?"

"No."

"Then why would I give it to you?"

The redhead gestured to the white-haired man standing behind him. "'Cause he has a gun and we need the money to get the green fuzzy thing out of my kitchen." Then, suddenly, his little face turned serious, maybe even a little angry. He shook his finger at the teller and stamped his foot. "But if you think we're gonna tell you our secret plan to pillage and pilfer everything of value in this town, you're _wrong_!"

The teller stared at him, his face uncomprehending, and Miguel rolled his eyes.

"Oh, for the love of—AH-_CHOO!"_

He sneezed once, twice, three times, and the teller's eyes became glazed over with adoration.

By the time he came to, the redhead, his friends, and the entire contents of the safe were gone.

XXX

"All right, ye slimy mangy cur…" Benji whispered threateningly while loading his pistol with a new round.

Miguel snickered.

"What are you laughing at?"

The redhead giggled into his hands and looked up with twinkling eyes. "…Well, I'm just reacting naturally. You act tough. I laugh."

Benji glared and pointed a finger at his lover. "Oh, you are _so_ lucky you're cute."

"And that I am the lover of an incredibly handsome pirate."

"Ya know, I'm really starting to think you're talking about another guy when you do that."

"Maybe I am."

"Oh, please, Miguel. You? Cheat on me? Ha!"

"Full of ourselves much?"

"Yes, we are!"

"Excuse me! Could we get back _to the point_, please?" The old man whom the group had been robbing shouted at them and waved his cane. "The whole bit is rather amusing, but I really have things to do."

"Like what? Writing your will?" Benji asked dryly. "Fine, okay. Barkeep!" he barked, suddenly making his voice sound as rough as possible. "We want your rum!"

"I don't have any rum," the old man said.

"Well…why the hell not?"

"Because this isn't a tavern. It's my house!"

Benji blinked and looked around. "Really?"

Miguel sighed dejectedly. "Oh, darn."

"Well, if we're done here, I'd like to get back to sorting my cheese…." the old man informed them in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Erm…okay. Well, could you point the way to the nearest tavern?"

XXX

"All right! Are we at the tavern _now_?" Benji asked the barkeep in a low whisper.

"…Yeah…" he answered, quirking a brow.

"Oh! Cool! All right, everybody, no need to be alarmed, but…we have a cannon!"

Miguel sighed and whispered something to the captain.

"…Oh. Well, the cannon will be here shortly. But in the meantime, I do have a rather impressive sword! And a _gun!_ So give us all your rum and we promise to leave!" Benji nodded.

"But sirs, we don't have any rum..." the barkeep murmured.

"Miguel! Make them stop saying that!" Benji wailed, beating his head on a table.

The redhead unsheathed his own sword, pointed it at the barkeep, and asked tiredly, "Why is the rum gone?"

"Well, see for yourself," the barkeep said, and pointed to the cellar boredly.

XXX

Upon entering the cellar, Benji, Miguel and Jiro found two things. One of the two things was that the barkeep was telling the truth: the rum was indeed gone.

The other was that they weren't alone.

"Okay, what the _heck?"_ Benji blinked stupidly. "Our rum!"

The stranger turned slightly and gave the white-haired man an odd look before smiling. "But…I was here first and I've _already_ stolen the rum," he said, his ice-blue eyes glinting.

"But I want it…" Benji pouted.

"Sometimes in life…things suck, and…then you die. Sorry."

"Oh, wow! That's enlightening...have you ever thought about going into motivational speaking?" Jiro asked coyly.

The stranger smoothed back his slate-colored hair and smiled. "People tell me that all the time."

"Couldn't imagine why," Miguel interjected. "However, as much as I respect a fellow pirate and his desire to drink, my Benji wants that rum, sir." The redhead then retrieved his sword and pointed it at the man's neck. "And he will have his rum."

"Big talk from such a little Spaniard," the stranger smirked.

"I get that a lot."

Benji leaned closer to Jiro. "What just happened?"

"If I claim to know anything at all, I'd either say your boyfriend is engaging our newcomer in battle…or they're hot for each other," Jiro said slyly.

"Die."

"Touché."

The blue-haired man raised his hands in surrender. "It seems I am helpless and without a weapon."

Miguel nodded. "Well…that was easy." The Spaniard shrugged and turned his back to the newcomer. "Okay, Benji. Pack up the rum. We're outtie."

"Kay. But you might want to do something about that…" Benji said, staring at the other man curiously.

Miguel turned to see that the unarmed guy had either found a weapon or made one. It seemed to be constructed of…ice?

"Still want to fight me?" the man asked, the "ice" sword at the ready.

"Please…I welcome the challenge. And that sword is made of…"

"Ice. Oh, yeah, did I mention that? I'm an ice apparition."

"You don't say…"

XXX 

**Meanwhile, Back At the Rum**

"Do you really think he's attracted to him?" Benji asked, a little sulkily.

Jiro sighed. "Drink up, Ben," he said, handing the moron a bottle of whiskey. "I wish Erik was here…" he added a moment later, muttering it to himself.

"Eh?" Benji inquired, his eyes crossing as he looked over at the chaplain, a half-empty bottle in one hand.

"…Never mind."

XXX

"Okay, that thing has to…melt or something, at some point, right?"

The ice guy gave Miguel a wry smile. "You'd think that, wouldn't you, Red?"

Miguel scowled, blocking a thrust from the ice sword and retaliating swiftly.

"You really are a creature of contrast, you know that?"

The redhead tried to look politely confused as he fell into a defensive stance to give himself a bit of rest. "How so, sir?"

"See, that right there! _That's_ what I mean! You come into this fight all cool and pirate-like, but for reasons that have nothing to do with _being_ a pirate and everything to do with making one happy. Then you fight like you have no idea what it means to hold back, and now you're standing there all wide-eyed and innocent and…and…I CAN'T WIN THIS!"

Miguel had to fight hard to keep a straight face while he blocked every strike against him (although with significant difficulty.)

"…Fine. I give!" the blue-haired guy finally said, and his sword vanished at last.

And then the ceiling exploded and a blur shot straight to the ground, making contact with an audible _thud_.

A look of worry passed over Ice Guy's face as he ran over and pulled the other into a seated position.

The latter began to inspect the flurry-headed stranger who apparently wasn't a stranger to him.

"Are you hurt? Dizzy? In any kind of pain at all?" the stranger asked the flurry.

The whirlwind of hair, however, wiped the dizzy look off his face. He gave a cat-like grin and stated triumphantly, "Whoo an' whee an' fun sorts! Did ye see tha', Touya? I just up an' flew an' next thing I know I'm fallin' through a roof and then I looks around and figures, 'Hey! Touya's here!' An' I go to say hi and tell ye there's soldiers comin' an' I sees the people and the little redheaded lass and whooo WHEE! What a whirlwind!"

Miguel twitched visibly. "_Lass_, you said?"

"…Give up, boyo. Yer one step away from it, anyways."

The redhead opened his mouth, paused, and then snapped it shut and shrugged in half-hearted agreement.

"WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST?!" Benji, the half-stupefied drunkard, shouted.

The company turned as one to stare at Benji.

"Erm…soldiers, you say?"

"Oi! Yeah, right over dere, actually," the man called Jin pointed out.

"Well, it seems we've been ratted out, boys," Miguel sighed.

"YOU MAY TAKE MY LIFE, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE MY RUM!" Benji shouted.

Touya rolled his eyes, made a new sword, and turned to Benji. "Then you'd best fight with us."

"What's it we're famous for?!" Jin bellowed to no one in particular.

"Stealin'!" was the reply.

"An' what else, lads?"

"Fightin'!"

"An' what _else_?!"

"Drinkin'!"

'And what do we do better'n all dat?"

"Stealin and drinkin' an' fightin'!"

"True dat."

XXX

Within minutes, the group was running for dear life—well, except Jin and Touya, who elected to stay behind and hold off the guards.

On the way out, they passed Rin, who was dragging along her cannon and had finally reached the tavern. She was sweating profusely and about to collapse with exhaustion, but looked exultant as she finally reached the door.

"Hey, Rin, time to go!" Miguel called as they ran past. "Being chased! Hurry!"

Rin stopped dead, the cannon rope still clenched in her fist. She stared at them, and her lower lip began to wobble as her eyes filled with tears.

"But…but I just _got_ here!"

"Rin, we are being _chased!_" Benji said. "By the _guards!_ Now come _on!"_

"_No!"_

Benji sighed and rolled his eyes. "Great. Gonna have to do the dude thing now…" he muttered, before going over and lifting Rin over his shoulder.

"NOOOOOOO!" Rin wailed brokenheartedly, pounding on Benji's back and kicking at him as she reached desperately for her cannon. "MY BOOOOOOOM!"

Benji held tight, all his attention focused on keeping her restrained.

That was why he was unable to watch Miguel's back.

And that was why he never saw Miguel go down.

XXX

Miguel stared at the kitten he had just tripped over. "Oh, I am so sorry, kitty!" he exclaimed.

The kitten stared at him for a moment before saying decidedly, "Meow."

_Click, click, whistle, swish, clank._

The redhead looked up at the armored men surrounding him. "Um…hi, guys. Well, Kitty, I hate to say it, but I am feeling…the ultimate betrayal here."


	3. Jailbait

Chapter 3

"This _sucks_," Benji muttered around the fistful of hair he was chewing.

Erik grimaced and attempted once more to extract his locks from his best friend's mouth. "You're telling me."

Benji glared at him and let the hair drip. "Stop worrying about yourself, Erik! In case you forgot, we lost _Miguel_!"

"Hey, that is completely unfair," Erik protested edgily. "I _love_ Miguel, you know that!"

Benji sighed and leaned his forehead into Erik's shoulder, closing his eyes. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry."

Erik echoed the sigh and put an arm around the white-haired man, squeezing comfortingly. "Buck up, private," he said, voice carefully light. "We're not doing Miguel any good sitting here feeling sorry for ourselves."

Benji sat still for a moment, then let out another sigh and sat up, swiping a hand across his eyes. "Yeah…yeah, you're right. Let's go round up the rest of the crew. I want my boyfriend back and I want him back _now_."

"I second that," a voice suddenly growled from a few feet away.

Benji whirled, choking off a startled shot, to see a rather small blue-haired man in the doorway, frowning and just generally looking angry.

"I seem to have lost mine, too," the guy said darkly. "What say you to a…temporary alliance?"

Miguel decided instantly upon entering the Cuban jail that this second was far better than the first. At least this time he could understand what everyone was saying…

Well, until the disturbing round of catcalls started. Then he quite suddenly found himself wishing more than anything that he didn't have ears.

"C'mon, chief, could we move this show along, please?" Miguel asked politely. "Before I…oh, I don't know…GAG MYSELF WITH A SPOON!!"

The man escorting him to his cell shrugged and removed Miguel's irons. "Welcome to the Cuban jail. We serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner all in one small and convenient meal at exactly five A.M. I would like to be the first to recommend the feet stew…"

Then, with a shove, Miguel found himself on the floor of his cell "Eww!"

"Just a joke for the newbies. Have a pleasant stay!" The guard snickered, then promptly left.

"Heeey! Dun I know ya? De lass from before, right?" a bright voice said.

Miguel started and looked in the direction of a voice. Upon seeing Jin, he skipped right over the "lass" comment and threw himself into the arms of the almost-complete stranger.

"Oh, thank GOD! Someone here who isn't completely crazy!"

"MY DIRT!"

Miguel jumped about two feet in the air, turning as he hit the ground to look at the grizzled man huddled in the corner, clutching something in his arms and glaring at Miguel.

"You're eyeing it, aren't you? You're eyeing my dirt…you want to _steal_ it!"

"No, I…I don't want your dirt…"

"Liar! They all said that—they all lied! Liars and thieves, thieves and liars!"

"No, no, I really don't want—"

"Go away!" the man snarled. "My dirt…" He then receded into incoherent muttering.

"He's been doing that since…well, since _I_ got here, anyway," a higher voice piped up, and a small boy stepped out of the shadows with his hand stretched out to shake. "Hi! I'm Talen."

Miguel hesitantly took the hand and, upon finding it devoid of unusual objects or substances, shook it politely. "Miguel Sanchez."

Talen let go of him and retreated back to the wall, smiling cheerily.

"Okay, kid," a fourth voice said, and Miguel began to wonder how many people could be stuffed into this tiny cell. "How much did you take from him?"

Talen shrugged. "Two rings and a bracelet," he said candidly. "I didn't take it all, 'cause I think I like him."

"Hand it over."

"But—"

"Now."

The boy glowered. "I'm wildly disappointed in you, Two-Bit," he snapped, stepping forward to give Miguel—his own ring. The one Benji had given him when they were young, in fact. Along with it came another of far less importance and a dangly silver chain bracelet. Upon examining his person, Miguel was somewhat awed to discover that he really _didn't_ have these things.

"He stole your stuff, he did," the man in the corner cackled. Then he frowned. "Just like he wants to steal my dirt!"

The man named Two-Bit stepped toward Miguel, reaching out to shake. "Just so you know, we usually talk to Talen from across the room," he advised.

Miguel studied him. "Your name is Two-Bit? How strange…"

"Well, that's just a nickname. I have another one. A real one." His face screwed up in thought. "I just…can't remember right now."

"Don't beam me up by my chest, that hurts! And leave my dirt _alone_! I've got a jar of dirt…I've got a jar of dirt…I can't wait to tell all my friends! _They_ don't have this much dirt…"

Miguel's eyes rolled heavenward. "God help us one and all…"

XXX

"Dirt…what is with the dirt? Why is it always about dirt?!" Shura grumbled, lifting his eyes from the book. He'd been reading non-stop for eight hours, and was finally beginning to crack. _Small wonder._

"Your smut is now downloaded…" Shura's computer stated.

Shura blinked. "You're not helping…I need someone to annoy. HEY, OLD PERSON!!"

"DIE!" was Yomi's reply.

"Oh, no. You'll die _way_ before I do, don't worry."

"And what a sweet release that'll be…"

"I bet when I'm that old I won't be as bitter."

"You will be."

Shura glared and…began to sing.

"You're older than you've ever been and now you're even older…and now you're even older. You're older than you've ever been and now you're even older…"

"La la la la laaa!"

"…AND NOW YOU'RE OLDER STILL!"

And then Yomi got a gray hair.

"Crap."

XXX

"Miguel Sanchez, you are determined guilty on the charge of theft. The sentence for this crime is the removal of your hand," the ominous judge announced.

"My hand…?" Miguel gulped.

"Yes. Your hand."

"Some lawyer you are…" the redhead scoffed around the growing lump in his throat, turning his back to the attorney appointed to him.

His lawyer then replied, "MY DIRT!" and was quietly escorted back to his cell.

Miguel stared down at his hands sadly. "But…I like my hands…."

The guard appointed to carry out the sentence thought for a moment, then said, "I'm feeling sympathetic. You can _choose_ which one you'd rather lose."

"But…but I like them _both!"_

"Well, you can choose one or the other, or I can. Either way, a limb is coming off."

"Can't you take my foot instead?" Miguel pleaded hopefully. "I don't like those…"

"Oh…okay…" Miguel said. Then he sat down cross-legged and held his hands out in front of him. "Eenie meenie miney moe…"

CRASH!

The double doors of the courtroom slammed open, much to the surprise of the people inside and very much to the surprise of the two unfortunate guards who were now being sandwiched in between the doors and the wall.

"Sorry to crash the party. But then again, seeing as you have my boyfriend prisoner…never mind, I'm rescinding that apology," Benji said with a smirk.

Backing him up was none other than the entire crew of the _Arch Angel_…plus Touya.

The pirate captain ran over to his lover and cut the rope binding his hands. "Sorry I'm late, love."

Miguel stopped muttering and looked up. "Oh, hi, Benji."

"Love…what are you doing?"

"Trying to decide which one of my hands I don't want anymore…"

If the residents of the _Arch Angel_ weren't mad before, they certainly became so upon hearing the words. And not a one of them seemed all that interested in hiding it.

The bald man in the jury box leaned toward the man next to him.

"Well, this sucks…"

XXX

"But…but, Benji, I can't go yet!" Miguel babbled frantically as he jogged next to Benji, struggling against the arm wrapped tightly around his shoulders. "I still have to choose!"

"No, Miguel," Benji said kindly, though his eyes snapped fire. "You don't have to choose."

"You mean I can keep them _both_?" Miguel asked, looking at the hands in wonder.

If he'd been looking up then, he would have caught something soft flashing across Benji's face before the angry mask settled back into place.

"Yes, Miguel. You can keep them both."

"Okay…"

Benji smiled down at him and was leaning in to kiss him when…

_CRASH!_

"JIN, WHERE ARE YOU?!" Touya bellowed, much louder than was really necessary.

A bored voice spoke from behind the door. "'Bout time. Your punctuality leaves lots o' desirables, babe."

Touya leaned forward to peer around the door at in, stretched lazily out on the floor, weaving a cat's cradle with a piece of string and looking pretty content, all things considered.

Upon seeing his face, Touya settled down a little. "You all right?" he asked with forced calm as he went to press a quick kiss to Jin's forehead. "Did they hurt you?"

"Oh, yes, they just beat me for hours," Jin said cheerily, grinning up at him. "Cantcha see the big grotesque bruises?"

Touya glowered. "Cute."

"And witty!" Jin reminded him, before promptly returning to his cat's cradle.

"Uh…Jin?"

"Eh?" 

"I don't know if you've noticed this, but…well, I'm sort of standing here with a pretty big group at my back and the door all broken on its hinges, and they do send patrols down here every now and then, you know…"

"Uh-huh. What's yer point?" Jin asked absently, his brow furrowing as he stumbled over a particularly tough patch.

"He's saying you need to get up off the ground and follow him _out_, you nimrod," a voice snapped irritably, and only then did Touya notice the three other people in the cell.

"No, he coulna be sayin' that," Jin decided after a moment of thought. "Because Touya here knows that you can't rush perfection, hey?"

The young boy who had spoken before threw up his hands in disgust. "I give up. I can't _talk_ to him anymore! He's psychotic! _You_ do it!" he said to an older guy who leaned against the wall with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

The man shrugged and took a drag of his cigarette. "Sorry, kid. I don't like the way my head feels like it's gonna float away when he talks to me. Makes me feel as nuts as he is."

"…Jin? Sweetie?" Touya said after a moment of silence.

"Yes, Touya?"

"I hear footsteps."

"Oh. That's bad," Jin agreed without looking up.

"Yes, it is. So…d'you think we should go now…or…what…?"

"In a minute."

Touya walked back to the door and pokes his head out into the corridor, immediately seeing the long shadows on the walls that spoke of trouble. "Jin, they're about to round the corner."

"I know. They're fairly loud."

"And what do you think they're going to do when they get here?"

"Kill us, prolly."

"And you don't think we should maybe…run away?"

"I'm almost done here, Touya," Jin said. "Really almost. Okay?"

"No! NOT OKAY!" Touya shouted. "ON ACCOUNT OF THOSE GUARDS ARE GOING TO…"

"ESCAPE! ESCAPE! _GET THEM!"_

"Jin, I _really_ think we need to go!"

That was when Jin finally decided he'd had enough. He rolled his eyes and bounced to his feet, the cat's cradle still clutched in his hands. Walking around the door, he too poked his head out and yelled, "EXCUSE ME!"

The ten-some guards rushing the group stopped on a dime.

"Nice reflexes," Jin congratulated them. "Now, I just wanted to ask you to wait a moment before commencing with the choppage, if you would. I'm working on a rather important project and I'm _tantalizingly_ close to being done."

"Certainly," the leader said graciously.

"Excellent!" Jin said happily, then ducked back into the cell.

Touya and the rest watched the guards warily while Jin's nimble fingers flew, until a few moments later the redhead said triumphantly, "Done! Okay, we can go now!" Then he turned to the others and asked politely, "Join us in the jailbreak?"

Talen shrugged. "Sure thing. I'm a pretty good distraction, if I do say so myself."

"Well, hell, you know I'm in," Two-Bit added.

"And what about you? In the corner?" Jin asked.

"YOU DON'T WANT ME TO C OME! YOU JUST WANT TO USE THE FRAY TO STEAL MY DIRT! MY DIRT! MINE, MINE, MINE, _MINE_, MINE!"

"Uh…weren't you supposed to be firm on the _last_ 'mine'?"

"Oh…sorry….sloppy use of emphasis. "_MINE!"_

"Much better. Are you not coming, then?"

"…Who _are_ you? YOU'RE TRYING TO STEAL MY DIRT, AREN'T YOU!"

"Guess not," Jin said, already headed for the door. "Okay, guys, thank you for waiting! You can chase us now!"

"ALL GEMINIS TO THE RASPBERRY HATS!"

XXX

"…What if we don't _want_ to hear from you?"

Miguel sighed and rubbed his temples tiredly. "You guys have been doing this for _hours_…"

"If ye dun _wanna_ hear from us, then ye can just slip on a banana peel and _die!_"

Touya chuckled. "In the boat, Jin! We're shoving off!"

"I'm comin', I'm comin'…"

"…Coming _where_?" Benji asked in confusion. "There's no _ship!"_

"Sure thee is! It's right there!"

"Where?"

"_There!"_

"_Where?"_

"_BENJI, IT'S RIGHT THERE!"_

"…Hey, where'd they go?"

The group peered closely at the ocean.

"Hey, there they are!"

"Where?"

"Not this again…"

"Right there, Benji, see? In the teeny tiny little rowboat?"

"…Guess that explains why we've never heard of them…"

"Yep…"

XXX

Erik sighed heavily as the group climbed back on board the _Arch Angel_. "All right. Wounded stay with me. Everyone else…back to work."

"Hey, who's the captain here, Erik?!"

"Me, apparently."

"…Well, okay then." And with that, Benji went to join the rest of the screw.

"Now…who needs treatment? You there, Nameless Wonder, with the severed arm…front and center! Oh…Miguel, what's wrong?" The doctor's voice took on a noticeably more gentle tone when speaking to the redhead.

"…I got a splinter," Miguel said in a small voice, holding up the offending finger.

As one, the entire crew gasped, and the Nameless Wonder dropped his arm onto the deck.

"Erik, you should probably go take care of Nameless…"

"No need, it's scabbed over!" Nameless Wonder spoke up.

"Then…Jiro! Look, his face is gushing blood and his arm snapped and crackled and popped and he made a noise like a dying walrus! So you take care of him and Benji can pull my splinter and then we can get back to work!"

Erik sighed dejectedly.

"Never occurred to you that you'd have to be alone with him, did it?" Miguel whispered, smiling a trifle evilly.

"Go die, Miguel."

XXX

Jiro's cabin was an intellectual's dream. Every free bit of wall space was lined with books and music, and scraps of poetry and prose littered the desk. A lute lay on the sleep-tossed bed, waiting to be tuned. It was next to this that Jiro sat, his arm lying useless at his side.

"Okay…let's see what we have here…" Erik murmured to himself, kneeling next to the bed and taking Jiro's arm to examine it gently. "Okay…right…" Then he took off his jacket and handed it to Jiro. "Bite."

After that particular bit of unpleasantness was finished, it was smooth sailing.

"Here, hold this on your head while I put the splint on. You've lost a lot of blood already—can't have you losing more. Press it tight, now."

There was a moment of silence as Erik began the splitting, concentrating solely on his task. Almost immediately, however, his hands fell to work of their own accord, and he was able to allow his gaze to wander elsewhere. "You have an _amazing_ collection," he commented, a slightly awed tone in his voice.

Jiro smiled slightly. "You like books?"

"Love them, but I can never get my hands on them," Erik replied, his eyes back on the task at hand. "There's not a lot of opportunity for reading on a pirate ship, and when we're pilfering and 'plundering and filching and sacking,' we don't tend to think about making a stop at the local library or university. Where did you _get_ all of these?"

"…I'm afraid I am unable to disclose that delicate information at this time."

The doctor chuckled. "Fair enough. So do you write, too? And I suppose you play music as well…"

Jiro shrugged modestly. "I dabble."

Another short silence, and then Erik said almost too softly for Jiro to hear, "I'd like to hear that sometime."

The only reply he received was a pleased smile, and then the subject was changed. "So what about you?"

"What _about_ me?"

"What do you do with your free time?"

"_What_ free time?"

Jiro laughed. "Good point. Well, I know you like to read, and you seem to like music…do you dabble in anything else?"

"…I make drugs."

"O…kay…"

There was a moment of silence, and then Erik said quietly, "You know something?"

"Hmm?"

"You're one of the only people I've ever met who's asked me a single question about _me_."

"…Really?"

Erik didn't reply as he finally finished his patient's arm. "All right, take off the cloth. Oh, good, the bleeding's almost stopped. Okay, so it's not too deep, but it does need some stitches…but it won't heart _near_ as much as the bone setting, don't worry." And with that, Erik began to stitch. "…So…any family or anything?"

"Nope," Jiro replied, glad to have something to distract him from the sting of the needle. "Not that I remember, anyway. I had a girl that was close to being a sister, but she died…what abut you? Siblings? Parents?"

"My parents died, too. Plague, or some such. The doctors wouldn't do anything because we were poor…"

"What about siblings?"

"I had a brother. He's still alive, actually, but he's…in a whole other universe."

"Ah…" Jiro said, leaving off tactfully.

A moment later, Erik looked down to see Jiro giving him one of those intense stares that he seemed to reserve especially for the doctor. "Stop looking at me like that…" he said, blushing a deep red. "You're making my hands all shaky…" Then, ignoring the chuckle he received in reply, he finished off the last stitch with a flourish.

"Well, Jiro, you are now the proud owner of a severely busted arm and nine stitches in the head. Happy?"

Jiro laughed and moved to stretch out on his head as Erik quickly moved to place the lute against the wall and prop the pillows at his patient's back.

"Hold on, I think I have something for the pain back in my cabin. Let me go get it…"

Several minutes later, Jiro was floating in that blissful place between sleep and wakefulness. Erik was sitting on the bed next to him, flipping through a book and using it as an excuse not to leave. He had no idea why, but this place calmed him like no other did.

Then, just when he thought the chaplain had finally drifted off, his attention was caught by a quiet murmur. "…Jiro?"

"You're different from most guys, Erik," Jiro mumbled, sounding as though he was talking in his sleep. "And I'm going to find out all about you…"

Erik blinked, startled, and then a slow smile broke across his face. "Good night, Jiro," he replied softly, before returning his attention to the book.

And when the sun began to shine through the cabin window, it lit upon Jiro sleeping peacefully on his side with his head pillowed by his good arm, and Erik sprawled next to him with a book on his lap and his head resting against Jiro's back.

It was the best sleep either of them could ever remember having.


	4. Because Of Course Erik Can't Be Straight

Chapter 4

Li: **chases staff around with a battle axe** Gimme chocolate! Gimme sugar! Gimme cookie dough! And some…_green peppers!_

Ava: Hey, are we sure Li isn't just pregnant?

Adara: How? Why?

**Flash forward ten years, to some alternate universe where Li has decided to spawn little Liliputians. This is how motherhood would turn out for her…**

Li: **sitting in therapy** Well, it all started out when my mother saw a dress in the mall and decided I should have children to buy it for. I dunno, around the time I finally got the kid I was also somehow struck with herpes and the obvious.

Therapist: And the father?

Li: Of the herpes? I have my suspicions. Dunno where the kid came from. I'm not even sure it's mine.

Spawn of Li?: Mommy…

Li: **snaps **Oh, shut up! A little dress in the department store window at the mall is the only reason for your existence, you miserable little puke!

Little Puke: **cries** But ah ma boy!

Therapist: And who are these other children, and why does one look like a megaphone?

Li: Oh, my other children! Syphilis Chlamydia, Ima June Bug, and Lil' Rico. **hugs Lil' Rico** He's my favorite, don't mention it, except to everyone you know.

Chlamydia (the eldest): Don't you love us, too?

Li: Please…see, Chlamydia was the little girl my mother wanted, but did _she_ ever follow through and buy the dress? No! So now I've got all these midgets running around my house expecting me to do all these weird things like bathe and play with them and they keep expecting me to feed them all the time and for _what_? WHAT DO I GET OUT OF IT, HUH?

Little Puke: Isn't being a mother reward enough?

Li: Shove a moldy old gym sock in it, ya pipsqueak.

**Fade to black, and we return to the real world**

Adara: Those poor children…

Ava: _Hypothetical_ children.

Adara: Yeah, but if Li ever finds a man who doesn't convulse at the sight of her, they could become a reality!

Li: STOP STANDING AROUND AND TALKING, YA LAZY GOOD-FOR-NOTHINGS! STOP THINKING, TOO! I'M PUTTING A CAP ON THINKING! I'M _OUTLAWING_ THINKING! _ACTION_!

Ava: …Yup.

Adara: We're screwed.

XXX

While all this was going on with Erik and Jiro, the world had not stopped turning or come to an end outside as one might suspect.

"…What _are_ we going to do about the fuzz, Benji?" Miguel asked, biting his nails nervously.

"Eat it?"

"Benji! Ew!"

Benji chuckled as he pushed open the door to the galley. "It's dark in here…"

"Aaaaahhhhhh! Benji, what's that in the corner?!"

"It's…_glowing_."

"IT'S THE DEMON FUZZ! IT'S RADIOACTIVE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"Um…Miguel, hon, it's…not the fuzz…" Benji said, lighting a lantern as he spoke to reveal Berkley huddled in the corner, holding his stomach and looking a bit green—and not in the ill or jealous sense.

"I ate the fuzz, Benji."

"Gross!"

"It tasted like keys."

"Ew."

"My stomach tickles on the inside now."

Benji sighed heavily and grabbed a bucket to catch Berkley's projectile vomit in. "God help us one and all."

XXX

Rin whistled to herself as she climbed through the sails and ropes like an overgrown monkey, preferring to do her sailing from as high as possible. The sun had barely risen and though she normally liked her sleep, today she had gotten up well before sunrise to steal a new cannon. Now it was time to sail, and Rin was too excited about her newly acquired piece of weaponry to go back to sleep.

"Well, hello, there, doc!" she shouted jovially when she swung down and came upon Erik sitting on a beam. "What're you doing all the way up here?"

"…Well…"

_Flashback_

_Erik sighed and stirred, wincing at the crick in his neck and vaguely registering the weight against which his head rested. His eyes clenched shut more tightly as they resisted opening, and then a quiet, husky voice spoke somewhere above him._

"_Morning, honey."_

"……"

"_Thanks for last night…it was _mind-blowing._" The last two words were breathed softly in the doctor's ear._

_Erik's eyes snapped open, and he scrambled away from Jiro so quickly that he hit the floor before he even realized he was falling. "What the HELL?!"_

_End Flashback_

Rin made a choking noise and very nearly let go of the rope she was holding. "So…you guys…you…"

"_No!_ God, Rin!"

Rin couldn't help laughing at the scandalized look on Erik's face as she swung to sit next to him. "You _do_ know that the whole reason Jiro is on the ship is because of you, right?"

"I've…had my suspicions…"

"Well, can ya blame them? You're wound tighter than Benji around Miguel's finger. You have _got_ to loosen up, and I guess your friends know your tastes better than you do."

"My _tastes?_ JIRO IS A MAN!"

Rin grinned. "Exactly. Bye, Erik!"

With that, she was off again, leaving Erik alone with his thoughts.

His scary, scary thoughts…

XXX

"My _God_, I am bored!" Benji muttered, lounging lazily on the bed in his and Miguel's cabin.

"We _just left_ Cuba!" Miguel replied, looking up from his book. "We've been chased by prison guards, robbed a bank and a tavern, fought with wannabe pirates, associated with crazy people…HOW MUCH MORE ACTION DO YOU NEED?"

"…Robbing Hiei blind?"

Miguel glowered. "Don't even think about it."

Benji pretended to pout as he wrapped an arm around Miguel, who simply curled more tightly against his lover's side. "You're no fun."

"Hmm…" The redhead considered Benji's words, then dropped his book and rolled suddenly onto his lover's chest. The captain yelped in surprise even as his arms came up instinctively to hold Miguel in place. "And just what would make me more fun, huh?"

Benji grinned and tightened his arms around Miguel's little waist. "I have a few ideas…" Then he drew the smaller man into a kiss, and both of them forgot about their former banter. When it ended several minutes later, they lay in silence for a little while, Miguel stretched out on top of Benji, being just too lazy to move.

"Hey," Benji said softly, tilting Miguel's face up so that their eyes met.

"Hmm?"

"I really love you, you know."

Miguel smiled. "Why's that?"

The captain snorted. "Hell if I know."

"Gee, thanks."

Laughing, Benji kissed Miguel softly, then fell to stroking his red hair in a soothing, repetitive motion that quickly began to send Miguel into a very relaxed place.

"…Benji?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever wonder what our lives would be like now if…if my parents had just accepted us from the beginning?"

Benji was silent for a moment before he said, "Truthfully? No, not really…"

Miguel rested his chin on his lover's chest and stared up at him in surprise. "Really? Not _ever?"_

"…Well…every once in a while, sure. Everyone has 'if only' thoughts, right? But…why should I wonder? I mean, if the 'if only' had actually happened….it couldn't have brought us to a better place than this, right?"

There was a short silence, and then Miguel smiled, and snuggled back to Benji's chest again. "See, that's why I love you. You always act so carefree and…well…stupid, no offense."

"None taken."

"But then you say smart or sweet or insightful things like that and surprise everyone. I love you for that."

Benji smiled and rolled over so that he lay on his side, with Miguel curled up against him. Miguel buried his face in his lover's chest and yawned widely, causing the captain to smile and wrap his arms tightly around the little Spaniard. Pressing a kiss to Miguel's forehead, he whispered, "Get some rest, love. You haven't had any real sleep since we docked in Cuba."

"Mmm…'kay…"

It only took a few short minutes of hair-stroking before Miguel was out, and reflecting that he was likewise short on sleep, Benji soon drifted off next to his lover.

XXX

The whole ship seemed to be asleep by the time the sun was at its highest. Even the helmsman dozed off now and again, rousing himself only to check their course before nodding back off into dreamland.

Rin was polishing her cannon, as she always did when she was bored or just plain insane. As she worked, she snag. Very loudly. And very off-key. Actually, she didn't so much sing as yell what might or might not have been some of possible lyricism.

This questionable maybe-singing was interrupted, however, when she spotted Erik sitting on the railing of the ship, staring out over the water and apparently not noticing her even though she was only about ten feet away. She opened her mouth to call to him, but snapped it shut as she saw Jiro approaching the doctor from behind. Grinning, she ducked behind some barrels and peeked around them to watch the fun.

XXX

Erik jumped at the feel of a hand on his shoulder, and turned around so quickly that he very nearly fell over the side of the ship and was only saved by the hand that shot out to steady him.

"Calm down, I come in peace," Jiro said, his eyes dancing as Erik's eyes narrowed. Grinning, the chaplain came to stand next to Erik at the rail. "Still mad at me for this morning, huh?"

Erik opened his mouth, then snapped it shut and turned resolutely away from Jiro. After a moment, however, he gave up. "No…I'm not mad…"

Jiro smiled happily and used his good arm to swing himself over the rail so he could sit next to Erik. "Good."

"Well, I see you're feeling better," the doctor commented wryly.

"It's the drugs, I tell you. I gotta try those more often…"

Erik laughed. "I never did ask you how that happened."

"Hey, you know what? I am _starving_! Let's go get some food, shall we?"

"But you just got here!"

"And now I'm going to the galley. You coming or not?"

"Well…all right, but just so you know, the talk is _not_ over. A conversation did _not_ just come to a close. The conversation is _in_ me, so when we get to the galley, the conversation is just gonna start right back up again. Oh, look, the galley."

Jiro sighed heavily. "Wonderful…"

XXX

"I'm bored."

Kurama laughed and looked up from where he was frying vegetables at the ship's small stove. "You sound like Benji."

Hiei gasped. "Bite me!"

Still laughing, the taller man came over to wrap his arms around Hiei's waist from behind. "I'm going to send a note over to them today. Got anything to put with it?"

"Hmph."

"Ha! I knew it!"

"Knew what?" Hiei asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Hand it over, Hiei!"

Sighing irritably, Hiei reached into his pocket and pulled out a neatly rolled-up note, which he handed to Kurama without a word before going back to sharpening and cleaning his sword.

"I knew it, I knew it! You _do_ like Benji! And you miss having him around! You do, admit it!"

"I will admit nothing," came the flat reply.

Kurama only smiled to himself as he turned back to his cooking.

XXX

Erik was getting frustrated.

He and Jiro had managed to spend most of the afternoon alone together in the galley, and the chaplain was very open and honest about any questions Erik asked him, and in return Erik was careful to keep the conversation steered toward lighter topics. The only serious topic he brought up was how and why Jiro had gotten hurt, which the doctor felt he had every right to know (on a strictly doctor-patient basis, of course).

The problem was, Jiro managed to dodge the question every time, turning the conversation to other subjects so smoothly and skillfully that Erik followed his lead without realizing he was doing it. Erik then had to steer the conversation carefully _back _to the fight in Cuba, only to have Jiro thwart him again.

Yes, Erik was getting _very_ frustrated.

But the doctor had always been labeled "irresistible" for a reason, and now was no exception. He was the type who could charm an old lady into donating her home, her savings, her teeth, and her grandchildren to a charity auction, have that same old lady thank him for giving her the opportunity, and still have plenty of charisma left to rope any romantic interest he so chose. The best part was, he was blissfully unaware of this increasingly rare talent—a trait which those around him found adorable (again, unbeknownst to the man himself).

Then again…sometimes sheer perseverance is the best course of action, as charm can only be counted on to do about 99.95 of the trick.

Jiro sighed heavily. "You're really not going to let this go, are you?"

Erik grinned, his eyes sparkling. "Nope."

"Fine…But I _don't_ want you freaking out about this, okay?"

"…Okay…"

"Well…actually…it was because of you."

"_Me_? What did _I_ do?"

"Uh, well, you know how you always seem to be on top and in control of things, like, all the time?"

"…No, but go on."

"Well…you're _really_ not on top of things during fights. I mean…seriously. You're lucky your head's not gone right now. _I'm_ lucky your head's not gone right now, 'cause…it's really pretty."

Erik flushed a deep red, but chose to ignore the last statement. "And that has…what to do with you, exactly?"

Jiro shrugged. "Well, I saw some guys coming at you…so I went to try to stop them while you were off in Neverland or whatever…and then someone smashed my head with a rock…and then another someone grabbed my arm…and the snapping started…anyway, I'm free now. We're good."

"Er…why?"

"Why what?"

"Why…_that_?" Erik gestured to Jiro's injuries. "For someone you hardly know?" Then, muttered so the chaplain couldn't hear, "Someone who's not even _worth_ it?"

"See, _that's_ why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you'd say _that."_

Erik looked taken aback, but said nothing as he put his empty coffee cup on the table and got up. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he walked to the doorway and looked out. "The sun should set soon."

No reply.

After a moment, Erik turned to look at his new friend.

"Want to come watch?"

* * *

_Authors' Note: My fellow conspirators have asked me, the typist, to ask the reviewers a quick question now that the chapter's finished, so I'm here to do just that._

_The question is:_

_Do we suck?_

_Seriously. Because we haven't gotten a single review. I mean, we weren't exactly swimming in an ocean of them before, but we at least had a small kiddy pool! So we're wondering why no one is very interested now…_


	5. Aww, Look, Everyone's All Mad

_Authors' Note: Okay, just to let you all (all being basically Sir Gawain—see, we mentioned you AGAIN! Are you getting that we kinda appreciate you?) know, this chapter was supposed to be up LAST weekend. But Adara—who was, after all, in charge of uploading this installment—has been neglectful and dummy-like, and, oh, gosh, let's just say it, lazy. So, we're late. Our apologies, kind sir! _**All three bow** _So, on with the chapter, yes?_

* * *

Chapter 5

The sun was already beginning to set before Benji and Miguel started to stir. Benji woke first, and lay with his lover's head on his chest, stroking the long red hair thoughtfully.

In retrospect, it was hard to believe that the two of them had actually gotten this far. Having gone from a penniless, wretched waste of human life to the not-so-well-respected-but-still-loved-to-a-certain-extent captain of a pirate ship, the Cuban was well-versed in reversals of fortune, but still…this wasn't just luck. This was a _miracle._ (Of course, the captain had no idea how many times a day his first mate thought the same about him.) It was quite remarkable, really, how strong their bond had remained even after so many years apart; and with any luck, it would stay just as strong for years to come.

Laying here like this, with Miguel curled up tightly at his side, the idea wasn't a hard one for Benji to imagine. After all, they _had_ come this far…

Now if only Erik would open his eyes and start pursuing the same thing.

God, but that man was blind! He was clearly gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide, and he was even more clearly attracted to Jiro. There should be nothing in the way of the pursuit of that gayness, and yet there Erik was, continuing to be as emotionally stunted as it was possible to be.

_What is _wrong_ with people?_

The captain was shaken out of this somewhat disturbing line of thought when Miguel stirred next to him.

Smiling, Benji pressed a kiss to his lover's forehead. "Rise and shine, starlight!"

Miguel scowled at the label and buried his face in Benji's chest. "No."

"But you've slept all afternoon!"

"…What time is it?"

"Sun's almost down."

"…Then it's almost time to go to sleep again. No point in moving now. 'Night, Benny!"

Benji laughed. "Oh, no, you don't! Come on, up you get!"

"No."

"Aww, c'mon, Miguel."

"Uh-uh."

"Pwease?"

"Nope."

"But—"

"Die."

"Miguel."

"Die twice."

XXX

"That was really pretty," Erik commented in a quiet murmur as the sun sank below the horizon.

Jiro didn't reply. He had never really been the sunset type—it wasn't that he didn't like them; he simply didn't have the time. But now, sitting next to Erik and facing an endless expanse of water and sky…sitting in a place where everything felt real and nothing seemed wrong…the chaplain began to wonder why he had never _made_ time.

"…Jiro?"

"Hmm?" Jiro asked, startled out of his thoughts.

"Still with me?"

"Hm. Too many replies. I cannot pick." And with that rather confusing comment, Jiro turned and dropped off the railing that they'd been sitting on, smiling slightly as Erik followed suit. "Where's the captain?"

"…Er."

XXX

"BEEENJIII, NOOO! Now nice, Benji! Go 'waaay!"

Benji grinned as he followed Miguel at a run, bursting through their cabin door and into the shadowy evening. "That hurts, Miguel. And here I thought you loved me…"

"Yeah, well, I've changed my mind! EEEP!"

The pirate captain's smile grew as he tackled his lover and started tickling him mercilessly.

"Bad Benji! _Bad!"_ Miguel scolded, trying to sound stern and failing utterly due to the fact that he was already breathless with laughter. "RAAAPE! MOLESTATION!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

Erik and Jiro blinked as they looked on, caught between rescuing the first mate and enjoying the show.

"…Er…think we should rescue him?" Jiro finally asked.

"In a minute," Erik replied.

_CRASH._

"…Or not."

Benji froze, and Miguel took the opportunity to squirm out of reach. The four men rushed over to the railing just as the _Archangel_ took a sudden lurch backward, knocking all standing members to their bums and forward again. Then the members rolled around helplessly (not to mention ungracefully) and landed on their backs…again!

Benji sat up, looking very perturbed. "What the—"

"WHEEEEEEE!" Rin shouted, swinging wildly from the mast, a rope wound securely around her waist while she performed acrobatics.

"…Hell?" Benji finished as he found his footing again.

"Hi, Rin." Miguel waved.

"HELLO! I'M A FLYING SQUIRREL!"

Erik rubbed his head, looking around slowly. "Where's Jiro?"

"You're…crushing him…" the chaplain stated painfully as Erik quickly rolled off of him.

"I…erm…sorry, Jiro. Need me to stitch you up again?"

"That anxious to get my shirt off again? Erik, you dog…" Jiro teased, a little half-heartedly because he really was in pain.

"No, of course not! I mean, you're very attractive…ACK! I didn't mean that! You're probably attractive to _someone_—"

Benji laughed. "Keep digging. Make sure to tell me if you find the Goblet of Perpetual Mountain Dew!"

"Permission to shove my foot down my throat…?" Erik sighed.

"No need. You're straight. I get it. Really. Can't blame a guy for wanting to see you blush, though." Jiro smiled, brushing back Erik's hair and getting to his feet.

"Eh? I'm sorry, but did he just…?" Erik paused, as if calculating something.

"He gave up?" Benji turned to Miguel, stunned.

"Oh, no, he's too persistent," Miguel clarified.

"How would you know?"

"Benji! Do you _know_ who I am?"

"Of course I do! But more importantly, who are _they_?! And why is there a hole in my ship!?" Benji shrieked and waved expansively at the giant-sized hole in the ship.

XXX

PAIN!

Hiei rocked forward out of Kurama's arms, gripping his head. "Ow!"

Kurama, noticing the lack of weight lying on his chest, woke up. "Hiei, are you all right?"

"Benji…" Hiei growled.

"What?"

"He…" the captain muttered, clutching his hair tighter.

"What, Hiei? What did Benji do?"

"Benji has done something…stupid…"

Just then, a man rowed by in a tiny rowboat.

Hiei, becoming slightly distracted by the rowing man (and the fact that the lookout didn't note him), rolled back into Kurama's arms without another word.

Kurama kissed the top of the black-haired man's head. He, too, decided to go back to sleep as Hiei started to snore softly beside him.

Silence.

"Wait! What's with the dude in the rowboat?!" the redhead wondered.

"…Co…co…nut…" Hiei mumbled.

Kurama shrugged. "Works for me…"

XXX

"BENJAMIN!"

Benji closed his eyes and silently begged for lightning to strike him before turning in the direction of the scream. He looked over at the _Revenge_, at the figure running across the deck, somehow looking oddly garbed…

"OH, MY GOD, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, MAN!"

Hiei gave his Evil Death Face of Doom—though the effect was marred slightly by his attempt to keep firm hold of the sheet wrapped around him. "THERE IS A HOLE IN MY SHIP, BENJAMIN!"

"I AM LOOKING AT A SEMI-NAKED YOU! I THINK MY COMPLAINT IS THE VALID ONE HERE!"

"IT'S A BIG HOLE! A _GAPING_ HOLE! AND IT IS IN THE SIDE OF MY SHIP!"

"IT'S NOT YOUR SHIP! YOU GAVE IT TO ME!"

"WHICH I NEVER WOULD HAVE DONE IF I'D KNOWN THAT THE SECOND I LEFT YOU ALONE YOU'D DO _THIS!"_

"WELL, I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY _BEEN_ LEFT ALONE, HAVE I?! YOU ARE _STALKING_ ME, YOU LITTLE CREEP!"

"OH, SUCK IT UP YOU DRAMA QUEEN!" Hiei screamed, his hand loosening on the sheet.

"KEEP HOLD OF THAT, ARE YOU _TRYING_ TO KILL ME?!"

"Nah, it'd just be a fringe benefit. What I am _doing_ is preparing to swim over and cause you _pain."_

"Well, if that involves the removal or partial removal of that sheet, I _beg_ you to slit my throat first."

"But I'd have to swim over there to do it."

"…D'oh!"

Benji was in the midst of trying to beat the image out of his own brain when Miguel walked over.

"Benny, stop, you'll concuss yourself. Didn't you notice the giant ship making its hold in the side of the _Archangel_? It's rather big, see. And now water is flooding into the ship from the giant hole. And that man over there on the deck is yelling at us and shaking his first and I'm not quite sure why. And—OH, HIEI NAKED! NAKED HIEI!"

Benji put an arm around Miguel as the little redhead hid his face in his hands. "I know," he said, patting his lover on the back. "I know. This sight is gonna haunt me until the day I _die._" Suddenly, his face brightened, and he turned Miguel to face him. "Hey, could you make that day come a little sooner?"

Miguel frowned at him, sticking out his lower lip. "No, 'cause then there'd be no one to do it for me."

"Well…well, we could stab each other at the same time and then we could _both_—"

But Miguel was already shaking his head. "But one or both of us might survive that, Erik's too good a doctor. Poison isn't a sure thing, either. And if I slit your throat you'd die too fast to do me. Same with neck-snapping. Hanging we may just strangle, and someone'd be sure to find us…" He sighed. "I see no sure way. Sorry, Benny."

Benji frowned. "You've failed me. Your enormous, squishy frontal lobes have not done their duty. We have _lost the trust_, Miguel. The trust is _gone_."

"Aw, Benny—"

"Don't be using that name when we've lost the trust."

At this point in the conversation, Hiei brought somewhat of a diversion by dropping his sheet and leaping into the water, causing both Benji and Miguel to scream, throw their arms over their faces, and dive for cover—Miguel behind a conveniently-placed stack of crates and Benji…into the ocean.

He found himself landing within three feet of the irate Hiei.

"OH, COME ON!"

"Yes!" Hiei said gleefully. "You have dived—diven? Dove? Doved? Ah, well, you're in the water now and AT MY MERCY! Bwahahahah—"

"Hiei-love?"

That one phrase stopped Hiei's words in his throat, and he blushed from the roots of his hair all the way to the tips of his toes as he turned in the water to face Kurama, who had just stumbled out onto the deck dressed in one of Hiei's T-shirts and looking exhausted.

"Yes, Kurama?" Hiei called, with admirable dignity considering the circumstances.

"What're ya doin'?" Kurama slurred.

"Nothing. Just…well, Benji broke the ship again, and I'm going over to take care of the problem."

"Oh. I wanna help."

"No, that's okay. Go back to bed."

"But I wanna fight."

"No, no fighting. The only fighting that will occur here will be my bashing Benji's head in, and he's enough of a wimp that I can do it myself."

"Hey!"

"Benjamin-Gueverra-you-are-already-treading-on-a-minefield-don't-make-things-worse-for-yourself," Hiei hissed very fast, and then called to Kurama, "Go back to sleep, Kurama."

"Mm…'kay…" Kurama mumbled, already heading back to bed.

As Kurama disappeared, Hiei turned back to Benji as if there had been no interruption. "Now, what do we do about the giant hole in my ship?"

"MY SHIP, DAMN YOU!"

"Well, I just took it back, didn't I?"

"Nooo….but…but that's not fair! Why?"

"Don't try to be Miguel! You're not even convincing!"

"Speaking of Miguel…he's in big…biiiig trouble, Benji!" Miguel wailed.

"See! Miguel does it _so _much better!" Hiei added smugly.

"Well, duh, ya think?" Benji retorted.

"Beeenjiii…"

"Not now, Miguel!"

"You're a big dummy dork brain, Benji," Hiei said coolly, with no hint of sarcasm whatsoever.

"You slash me with your words."

"Benji! It's really important!"

"Miguel, me and Hiei are having a very important conversation right now about _my_ ship. Nothing is more important than that."

"Okay, Benji…"

"Thank you, Miguel."

"So when you're done could you ask this person to remove his rather sharp knife from my neck?"

"Miguel say what?"

When Benji glanced over at his ship, he noticed a few subtle differences. A whole other crew was on the deck, one of them had Miguel well-acquainted with their knife, and his ship was slightly lower in the water.

"Umm…I told you they were mad…" Miguel said, waving nervously.

_Oh, yeah, _Benji thought. _Not gonna stop feeling guilty about _that_ one for another thousand years or so…_

"Are you quite finished?" the—captain?—of the other ship asked impatiently.

"Benji, can I punch him now?" Miguel asked plaintively.

"Of course you can, love," Benji replied.

Miguel beamed. "Yay! But you gotta watch, 'cause I've been waiting and waiting for you to pay attention so's I could get away, and I think this guy's been takin' advantage of my fake vulnerability!"

"DID YOU JUST SAY THAT GUY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOUR FAKE VIRGINITY?!"

Miguel blinked, then turned and asked his captor politely, "Could you stick that in my throat now, please?"

The man shrugged. "Sure, I can do that."

"Hey, hey, _hey!"_ Miguel squealed, offended. "I didn't mean _literally!_ You could be a _little_ more courteous!"

"_Courteous?"_ Mr. Knife Holder said incredulously. "I'm holding a _knife_ to your throat!"

"That's no reason to be rude. There is _no excuse_ for rudeness!" Miguel chided, shaking his finger at the air in front of him because he couldn't actually turn around.

"Are you…quite drunk?" the man asked uncertainly.

Miguel appeared to mull this over. "Maybe…a little…yeah…" he replied blissfully.

"YESS! FINALLY!" Benji shouted joyfully, punching the air.

"I'm going to hit you now," Miguel informed the man holding him, raising his elbow.

Once the guy was out cold, Miguel stepped away and said, "See? _Politeness!_ It's the freaking wave of the freaking future. BENI, I AM GOING TO FEED YOU YOUR OWN FEET!"

"Uh…but…why?"

"Because they do, after all, seem to reside in your mouth an _awful_ lot."

"Whaddya me—"

"MY FAKE VIRGINITY, BENJI?!"

What happened nextly (Note: Yes, we do realize this is not a word. We accept it. We revel in it. Get over it. End note.) had a lot to do with Rin falling from the sky and screaming, "BOOMY TIME NOW?!"

Miguel threw his hands in the air. "Go wild, I'm goin' fishin'…"

"Yay! Boom, boom, boom! Boomy boom!" Rin cheered as she blasted.

Meanwhile, Miguel had dragged Benji on deck, but refused to bring Hiei up because he was so blatantly nude.

Feeling very much indifferent about the whole thing, Hiei decided it was best to go back to Kurama and let Benji sink.

Miguel held out his hand to help Benji up, but as soon as he was on the ship he dropped him on his bum.

"Ouch…I didn't mean anything by it, really…"

"Bite me entirely, Benji."

"Er…okay."

"That was _not_ an offer. Now go fight Benji."

"Yes, ma'am…" Benji pouted, grabbing a weapon and doing what he was told. "Man, I really hope he doesn't make me sleep in the brig."

XXX

"Well, I took out about six, and Miguel got twelve, and Benji got…two." Rin finished tallying and lowered her hands, turning to Miguel. "How come you hogged the army?"

"I got _more_ than two!" Benji protested.

"Nuh-uh. You _did_ only get two," Miguel said. "Cross my heart."

"Well…well, okay, but you guys got all the little ones! I got the big fat ones!"

"Benji! That's mean!"

"Well, _yeah!_ One of them nearly _knifed_ you!"

"Yeah, well, he got his. I threw him in between Berkley and a platter of pink marshmallow coconut balls," Miguel said indifferently.

Rin stared, slack-jawed. "When did you have time to do _that_?"

Benji, however, simply grinned and pulled Miguel tight against his side. "He's just awesome like that."

Miguel smiled up at him, and stood on tiptoe for a kiss.

Rin made retching noises.

Benji shoved her into the ocean and went on with the very important task of makin g out with his Spaniard.

Until…

"Benji?"

"Yes?"

"I think I'm gonna pass out drunk now."

And he did.

XXX

**After Benji Revives Miguel**

"I dun like bein' drunk…"

"Really? I'm kinda enjoyin' it."

"Eh…"

"Miguel, I'm lying on your foot."

"So?"

"So it's uncomfortable."

"I don't care. You were mocking me."

"Move your foot, Miguel."

"No! It's my new weapon! From now on my foot will _haunt_ you! Every time you try to sit, my foot will _be_ there!"

"What if I crush it under my bum?"

"You can't! My foot _transcends_ the power of your bum!"

"…You are gonna be in some serious pain in the morning."

"Don't change the subject."

"I don't even know what the subject _is_!"

"Sure ya do! It's…it's…"

Silence.

"…Miguel?"

Snore.

XXX

**Meanwhile, In Cuba**

"So then—and get this, this is the best part—"

Keiko fished in the bottom of her glass for the cherry, and swallowed before resuming the story she was telling her terrorized, forced-to-be-barmates.

"I decide I've just about had enough of him, and so I _kill_ him."

"WILL YOU STOP TELLIN' PEOPLE I'M DEAD? I'M _RIGHT HERE_, YOU LOONY!"

"Oh, go slip into something more comfortable. Like a coma," Keiko replied flatly, turning back to the wide-eyed, frightened bar patrons.

"Now, someone can buy me another drink and I'll tell you about the time Yusuke's ex came to town…"

XXX

Shura turned the page. "One think I love about this book, more than all the rest, is that _you're_ not in it."

Yomi shrugged. "You're not in it, either. So I'm counting my blessings."

"Why are you still here?"

"To make sure you don't botch up the story like you did a while ago…"

"When did I botch it up? I don't recall, olderly person."

"Not gonna tell you…"

"That's because it didn't happen."

"Totally did."

"Ack, no! You…trying to be modern! It hurts!"

"Well, if you must know…"

"Had you been paying _attention_…"

"La la la la la, _decrepit_!"

"You would've noticed the new character…"

"What? New character? Where?"

"I've done my damage…"

"Tell meeee!"

XXX

**The Next Morning**

After the other pirates had been dealt with, Benji surveyed the damage from the crow's nest. "Look what they did! This is gonna take weeks to repair! The paint is chipped! See, there and…there!"

"We can repair it once we hit Spain," Rin offered. "And shouldn't you be with Miguel? Isn't he in a lot of pain…"

Benji blinked. "You're right! I _should_ tell Miguel about the paint," he said thoughtfully, swinging down from the mast and rushing to his cabin.

"I said pain, not paint!" Rin sighed, her eye twitching visibly. "…Men…"

XXX

"Miguel, love, are you up yet?" Benji poked the lump of blankets on the bed.

It shifted and moaned. "Never drinkin' alcohol 'gain…"

"Aww, my poor Miguel…" Benji pouted and hugged the Miguel-shaped lump.

"I-I'm okay." Miguel shivered. "It's a self-inflicted illness. How's the ship?"

"Paint's chipped, giant hole, those other guys got off easy…" Benji relayed while he kissed Miguel on the head, tenderly.

"Well…they were trying to loot us. I don't think they care."

"They were…I thought they were merchants."

"Not every ship is a merchant ship. We've been through this…"

"I know. There's us, Hiei and Kurama, Jin and Touya…even though I missed their ship…and everyone else is a merchant, right?"

"…I don't have time for this."

XXX

"See?! No botching! I win again, dusty old fart!"

"Read on…" Yomi smirked.

XXX

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the crew, a stowaway was present.

His name was Monroe Fizerpatswezy.

And he was slowly slinking his way into the brig. "Maybe I can hide in here…"

Unfortunately for the _Archangel's_ new stowaway, he opened a cage that shouldn't be opened in a place that shouldn't be a place.

For the thing that lived there was grotesque…

Poor Monroe didn't know of the danger that he'd released until it was too late.

It was closing in on its prey now…

Monroe blinked at it, squinting through the darkness. "Hello, there…aren't you a feisty…thing?"

"HUGGLEMUFFINS!"

"Huggle what?"

CHOMP!

"Ouch! Hey, let go, you might hurt something…" the stowaway yelped, waving his hand, complete with its new accessory—Berkley.

CRASH!

XXX

**Silence falls over the set as Monroe and Berkley finish their scene, and everyone waits patiently.**

Ava, after several minutes: Uh…does anyone know where Li is?

Entire crew: ……

Adara: **claps hands** Yes! I've always wanted to do this! **Takes deep breath and bellows **CU—

Li: **runs by screaming** THAT'S _MY_ JOB AND IF YOU FINISH THAT WORD I WILL BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH A CHEESE WEDGE!

Cheese Man: **pops out of the ground** Ooh, I can lend you one! **Offers cheese wedge**

Li: Aw, thanks, honey, but I gotta hide!

Ava: What? Why? What's wrong? Are we under attack? Do I need my frying pan?

Li: No, we're not under attack. It's worse. Much worse. _Indescribably_ worse. It's…it's…

Adara: **impatiently** Li! What?

Li: **wails** IT'S THE IRS!

Everybody on set: _NO! _**begins looking for large pieces of furniture to hide behind**

Adara: What do they want with _you,_ Li?

Li: Well…I…uh…I might have made a _little_ mistake on when my taxes were due…

Ava: **gasps and points** Capone!

Li: …Eh?

Ava: They got him for _tax evasion_.

Li: **stares** I have no idea what you're talking about. All's I know is, this is my _worst nightmare._

**Cut to Li's future again, many years from now. Li and her children are all gathered in the dumpster they live in, sitting around an open back of BBQ sauce.**

Lil' Puke: **scratches long, gray, straggly beard and leans forward, holding out a tiny bowl** Please, ma'am, may I have some more?

Li: _No!_ **evil face**

Lil' Puke: **shrinks**

**BANG, BANG, BANG!**

Voice: IRS! Open up!

Li: **ponders** IRS! What's that mean?

Lil' Puke: Um…I think it's…

Li: Shut up. I didn't ask you. **pushes up lid of dumpster and pops her head out** Whaddya want?

IRS Agent #1: Hello, ma'am, my name's Seymour Butts. This is Fideous McFloogenshorts. We're here to take possession of all your worldly goods.

Li: **quirks an eyebrow** O…kay…good luck with that. 'Specially since I don't _have_ any worldly goods…

Fideous McFloogenshorts: Well, then, we'll need that packet of hot sauce in your pocket.

Li: No! That's my food for next week! Leave it alone!

Seymour: **impatiently** Then what _can_ we take?

Li: **ponders** My children! Take my children!

**Cut abruptly back to the present, where Ava and Adara are again horrified by the product of their imaginations.**

Ava: We are _dooming_ the children of the future! We're…like…_killing_ Li's eventual children!

Adara: We should go…walk by a church or something.

Ava: **nods frantically**

Li: **heard shouting, sounding very bad-tempered, as they dash off** I DID NOT YELL CUT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING BEHIND THOSE BOXES?!

-

* * *

_Authors' Note: Well, review! Please! That is all we have to say!_


	6. Depends On Your Definition of Mad

_Author's Note: There are issues, and then there are ISSUES. We don't know which kind Adara was having this week when she was supposed to be typing this chapter—the less threatening kind or the Big Scary kind—but either way, they certainly contributed to the once-again-delayed-ness of the chapter. We're getting her help. We promise._

* * *

Chapter 6

"How long 'til we get to Spain, Benny?"

"Long enough, I guess…"

"Will the ship hold that long?"

"No idea. Guess we'll find out, won't we?"

"….I don't wanna find out."

"Then just believe with all your heart that we'll make it and maybe…just maybe…we will."

"Maybe?"

"Yep."

"That's the best you can do?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"That sucks."

"Yes. Yes, it does."

CRASH!

Benji and Miguel had guessed how long their moment alone would last. They were pretty accurate when they guessed "not long 'til the next big disaster, also known as Benji's Crew, comes to call."

Benji sighed heavily. "Why? I just got the ship detailed."

"Benji…it's the bloody 18th century. Detailing won't come in for another two hundred years," Miguel said dryly.

"How…do you know that?"

"I'm a sexy psychic from Cuba who happens to like men."

"You are the most complicated person I know who also owns pink hair bands."

"That just adds to my complexity!"

"Yeah, you're right."

"I'm really not that hard to understand, y'know, Benji. I'm just a man who knows men who like men."

CRASH, BANG, BOOM!

Miguel blinked. "You gonna get that?"

"If I must."

XXX

CHOMP!

"What…is in my mouth?"

"My…arm…?"

"It's _chewy!_ You're not Benji." It wasn't a question.

"Very astute. Now, first of all, OW. Second of all, that's just plain nasty. Third of all, I _don't_ wanna know how you can tell who this Benji person is by chewing him. And what do you mean by chewy?!"

Silence.

Berkley shifted then. "I'm going to have to eat you now."

"Eat me?"

"I haven't eaten in a week, you see, and the last thing I _did_ eat was a radioactive green fuzz. So I have no choice now. I've _got_ to eat you."

"You're not serious."

"About eating you?"

"No, about the fuzz. Are you…like…radioactive now?"

"Because, ya know, his scariness is really hanging in the balance as it is…" Benji added.

"Benji!!!"

"_Okay!_ Who—?"

"He's my hugglebunny cupcake!"

"Eww!" Monroe shivered.

"I second that…" said Benji.

"He's my fluffy ooone!" Berkley sang. "He's my fluffy wuffy one who makes my mouth go yuuum!"

"Ack!"

"Oh, dear God!"

"I'm so glad you're hear to save me from this _person_," Berkley cried.

"Hello! You were going to _eat me_, remember?"

"Alright!" Benji yelled. "Back away from the door!"

Monroe and Berkley obeyed—until Benji was actually _in_ the cage, at which point the rabid thing decided to glomp him.

"AHH! OH, MY GOD! GET IT OFF!" the white-haired man shrieked.

Monroe, however, stayed put, cradling his marred arm. "Want me to intervene?" he murmured.

"RABID! UNCLEAN! ABOMONATION!"

This only made Berkley snuggle tighter. "Aww, you don't mean that, do you? My wonderful Greek god?"

Benji ran to the deck with the Berkley growth still attached to his back. "HELP! THERE'S A PARASITE ON MEEE!"

At that moment, Miguel stumbled out of his cabin and calmly shot Berkley with an elephant tranquilizer gun.

Berkley fell with a "thud" and was quickly fast asleep, sucking his thumb.

Benji smiled. "Nice save, love."

Miguel blinked wildly. "Happy!"

Moments later, they were joined by Rin, Jiro and Erik.

"What's the hub-bub, bub?" Rin called, dangling from the hammock she'd tied onto the mast.

"Berkley got loose?" Erik frowned. "He didn't…gnaw through the bars again, did he?"

Jiro chuckled. "He can do that?"

"We're pretty sure he has acid spit."

Benji sighed. "Nope, I had to open the cage."

"Why, Benny?" the redhead asked quietly.

"I'll show you!" Benji said triumphantly, then disappeared into the brig. When he reappeared he was dragging in the semi-tall blond boy by his shirt collar.

Monroe, who was no older than nineteen, was still nursing his bite. He looked up at the crew and shrank. "Sal…u…tations?"

"Well, hi!" Rin shouted gleefully.

Miguel smiled kindly at the stowaway. "Hello! I'm Miguel and that's Benji—"

"Captain!"

The redhead continued as if he was never interrupted. "Rin, Jiro and Erik. Erik is the doctor, he can fix you up!"

But before Erik could even blink, Monroe spoke. "Fix me up…? Am I to be tortured then?"

"…Nooo…" Miguel said slowly, while shaking his head.

"Shoved off the plank?"

"The diving board?" Benji pondered. "Well, if you want, I guess, but I don't see what good that'll do."

"I only meant that I'm a stowaway, and aren't pirates usually cruel to stowaways?"

"Are they?" Benji blinked. "Are…we?"

The crew thought for a moment before Miguel spoke up again. "But we don't _do_ anything. That's our motto…why change now? We have a theme song and everything…" (AN: Which also doesn't belong to us!)

"Well, then, what do we _do_ with him?" Benji whined.

"I say we recruit him," Jiro offered.

"I agree." Erik nodded.

"Nooo…that's a stupid idea…I say we recruit him!" Benji beamed.

Miguel smacked him on the back of the head. "Welcome to the crew…erm…"

"Monroe…Fitzerpatswezy…" the blonde replied.

"Seriously?" Benji gaped.

"Not nice, Benji!"

XXX

"Straight."

Thud.

"Straight."

"Straight, straight, straight."

Thud. Thud. Thud.

"GAY!"

"GAH!"

THUD, BOOM, _SPLASH!_

"Oh, dear…" Benji murmured, watching with mild interest as Erik spluttered and thrashed in the water. "Well, _that_ was rather clumsy of you, wasn't it?" he called amiably.

Erik shook his fist. "YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUTTA ME, YOU JERK! THIS IS _YOUR_ FAULT!"

"Good Lord, are you sure?" Benji asked in a flawless impression of a politely puzzled Brit.

"Yes!"

"Are you sure?"

"YES!"

"Are you _absolutely certain_?"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, YES!"

"So I didn't then."

"_YES!"_

"Phew. What a load off my mind. I thought for a second that I might've actually done it."

"YOU DID DO IT!"

"But you just said I didn't!"

"_No!"_

"See? You said it again!"

"No—I—_what_?"

"I think you're confused, Erik," Benji said solemnly. "Are you sure all that banging on your head didn't shake anything loose?"

Erik glared, climbed aboard, and stalked away angrily. As he made his way to wherever, his shoes made an odd squelching noise.

Benji fought every urge to laugh, but failed instantly.

Then, without warning, Rin fell on top of him.

"…Ow…"

Rin, who hadn't decided to get off Benji, looked down at the pirate captain and politely asked, "Have you seen my cannon?"

"Can't say I have," Benji shrugged. "Check the closet. We've lost Erik, too, so if you see him in there send him out."

"Oh, the subtext!" Rin announced.

Benji grinned. "It _does_ work on both levels, doesn't it?"

Instead of answering, the cling-on dropped to the deck and took off toward the closet in the galley, screaming incoherently (as she so often did) and completely ignoring the fact that her cannon couldn't _possibly_ fit in there.

XXX

Erik, meanwhile, was _not_ in the closet—except for, perhaps, metaphorically speaking—but wandering in the starboard deck aimlessly and secretly hoping to "accidentally" bump into a certain someone.

The doctor had had a lot to think about lately—a lot of serious things that had caused him to retreat into himself (unintentionally, of course). It all made him seem rather standoffish, so it was no surprise that when said Certain Someone finally found _his_ Certain Someone, he approached rather hesitantly—and from behind.

After several minutes had passed in silence (except for the crashing of the waves and Rin's distant roaring), Erik laughed suddenly. "I didn't see you, so I should have known you were there."

Jiro chuckled as he came to join Erik at the rail. "I'm always here."

"I guess that's true. How's the arm?"

Jiro examined his split. "All doctored up thanks to a certain…_special_…someone."

Erik blushed and focused his eyes on the rail.

"You always do that," Jiro murmured.

"Do…what?"

"When I say things like that, you act like you don't believe me."

Erik didn't reply.

"Well…I just came to see how you were. You've seemed sort of depressed lately."

"I'm fine."

Jiro chuckled, but there was no mirth in the sound. "Liar." He paused for a moment. "Erik, why don't you just say it?"

Erik blinked in confusion. "Say what?"

"Tell me to go away. Get annoyed at me, snap at me, whatever. Just…be _assertive_ about it, for once!"

There was a very long silence, finally broken by Erik's quiet voice. "Is that what you think? That I want you gone?"

"What am I _supposed_ to think, Erik?!"

Erik just looked down at his hands again.

Jiro sighed, and the sound had an "I give up" sort of ring to it. He turned to walk away…only to be stopped by a hand around his wrist.

"Huh…?"

Then he was gently pulled around to face the object of his infatuation, and their faces were only inches apart.

"Erik, what are you doing?" he whispered.

"Being assertive…" Erik replied, his voice equally soft, before bringing his lips to Jiro's in a gentle, hesitant kiss.

XXX

Benji's mouth dropped open as he stood several yards away, watching the exchange with very wide eyes.

Rin came up behind him a moment later and proclaimed, "Erik's not in the closet, cap'n."

"…Kinda noticed…" Benji replied dazedly.

Rin blinked and followed his gaze. "…THE END IS NIGH!" she screamed, running to take shelter under her bed as Erik and Jiro remained oblivious to her, the captain, the crew, and pretty much the rest of the world.

* * *

_Author's Note: And it's so short, too. We're sorry, guys! And we hope that what it lacked in quantity, it made up for in quality!_


	7. Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

_Authors' Note: We're late. We have no excuse. Read the chapter. Hope you like it. If you don't…well…_**pained noises**

_

* * *

_Chapter 7

The _Archangel_ was in a state of chaos. The news of Erik's "hormonal meltdown" had traveled through the crew like a bullet, and the news had been greeted with varying degrees of happiness, confusion, or fear. (Rin was still hiding under her box springs and imagining what life would be like in post-apocalyptic Cuba.)

Benji and Miguel had finally gotten fed up with the crew's questioning, and taken refuge in their cabin. Miguel now lay with his head in Benji's lap, while the captain read and played absently with the red hair scattered over his crossed legs.

"…Do you think they're still kissing?" Miguel finally asked, his voice bemused.

Benji snorted. "Probably. Lost time, and all."

"I dunno…don't you think they have a lot to talk about?"

"…Miguel, come on. They've been dancing around the issue since they met. The sexual tension has been building up for months. I'm _sure_ they're just sitting in the galley having tea and cookies…"

XXX

"Do you want sugar?"

"Yeah. Lots. And a cookie."

Erik chuckled. "You're in luck. Miguel just made a batch this morning," the blond doctor answered and offered Jiro the tray.

"…So…"

"Yeah."

Silence reigned for a while, and then, quite suddenly, Erik blurted, "You and me…we kissed?"

"Erm. Yes. We did indeed."

Erik nodded slowly. "Ah. Okay. Just making sure."

"Hmm…"

Silence.

Jiro stirred some more sugar into his tea, until he was completely sure it would cause a diabetic to go into hyperglycemic shock. "Does this mean…?"

"What?"

"Does it mean that you want this to be…permanent?"

Erik leaned back, blue eyes studying the orchid-haired man warily. "And how…would that…go?"

"Well, first we would…um…_I_ would…kiss you. And you might be liable to…?"

"Kiss…you…back?"

"Yes. Right. You've done this before!"

"Then what?"

"Well, then we might get to _know_…each other…better. We might then…spend a lot of _time_ together. And maybe…down the line…we might…"

Erik choked on his tea and turned the color of Miguel's hair.

Jiro blinked innocently, yellow eyes glittering. "Oh…my…you didn't think I meant…"

"…So totally OLD!" came a cry from outside the galley.

"That's not the point!"

"I can't _find_ the point! I need a _map_ to locate the point!"

"You—you—GAH!"

"What, Miguel? Just admit it! I'm right, you're wrong!"

"I could…except for the fact that I'M RIGHT!"

Erik and Jiro turned as one to see the captain and first mate barrel in.

"Oh!" the redhead blinked. "Look, Benji. It's our good friends Erik and Jiro!"

"And they made tea," Benji said awkwardly.

Jiro smiled brightly and poured another two cups. "Yes. Come join us."

"Sure."

"Okay."

"I hope we're not intruding," Miguel said, with an embarrassed smile.

Jiro turned quickly to look at Erik, staring at him for about five seconds before they both answered as one. "Not at all."

Miguel dropped his cup and gasped, pointing his index finger at them accusingly. "Oh—_oh!"_

Benji stared down at his own cup. "Hot?" the white-haired man asked, pouring a cup of sugar into his mug.

"Oh, did you want some tea with that sugar?" Jiro laughed.

"Pot calling kettle much?"

"Touché."

Miguel, being…well, Miguel, elbowed Benji in the gut.

"Ow…you've got a lot of rage…" Benji pouted with watery eyes.

Erik chuckled. "So…were you two…fighting?"

Miguel shook his head, refilling his teacup. "No, it was more like a…disagreement."

Erik quirked his eyebrow. "Disagreement?"

After taking a sip of his tea, Miguel replied, calmly. "Oh, yes. Me and Benji rarely fight."

"Erm…Miguel, what about…?" Benji asked tentatively.

"I'M RIGHT, BENJI!"

"Nooo…I AM!"

Jiro shifted his glance from Benji to Miguel. "Sooo…how long have you been married?"

Benji seemed to process this for a while, then replied, "But…we're not…"

"But surely you want to."

Miguel stared at Benji, then his behind his tea.

Benji became baffled. "But why?"

Miguel coughed. "Erm…let's not dwell on the subject."

Now it was Erik's turn to pry. "Sooo…what was the _disagreement_ about?"

Benji shut his mouth very tightly and began to mutter indistinctly.

Miguel shrunk. "Well…it's really very silly…I mean…"

"Javier Bardem is HOTTER!"

"Liar! Antonio **(1) **trumps Javier every time!" Miguel retorted.

"But he's so OLD!"

"No, he's not!"

"Older than dirt!"

"Maybe I _like_ older men!"

"Oh, now who's the liar?!"

"Freaking die, Benji! I'm right!"

"Well…I'm…righter-er!"

"No! You're wrong again! 'Cause that's not a word!" Miguel looked at Jiro and Erik for support.

Jiro blinked. "…Huh."

Erik, too, stared stupidly. "You two have been yelling at each other for forty minutes about this."

A moment of silence, and then they all burst into uncontrollable laughter.

XXX

Rin was sad, cannon-less, and _sad_. However, this raspberry-haired girl had a plan.

"Get to Tortuga **(2)**, get cannon. No…get BIG cannon. Big cannon, big boomy. Tortuga, big cannon. Big cannon, Tortuga. Boomy cannon…" Rin muttered crazily, blue eyes bugging out and all in all not very attractive.

"Excuse me, miss. Up in the hammock…?"

"BOOMY!" Rin shrieked at the mousy-haired boy below, causing him to leap back a few paces. "…Oh. 'Tis you. Erm…Fitzerpatspacy?"

The shaking mass of humanity instantly pulled himself together and shouted back. "That's _swezy!"_

"What's swezy?"

"My name!"

"Okay...Weirdy McWeirderson…"

Monroe sighed heavily. "Just call me Monroe."

"Well, why didn't ya say so?" Rin smiled and shimmied down to the deck. "I'm Rin," she said, extending a hand. Monroe backed away.

"What's it for…?" the deckhand asked shyly and examined Rin's hand.

"For shakin'."

"Well, obviously…" Monroe nodded and connected with Rin's handshake.

"What'd you think it was for? If you don't mind me askin'."

"Oh. Well. Hitting, I guess," the blond boy answered without batting an eye.

"Hitting?"

"Well, yeah. A long time ago…erm…yesterday, I think. Back when I was in my old crew. They beat me up _real_ good." He nodded.

"Oh, my…"

"With pillowcases…full of bricks."

"Ow! Ahh! Stop! Sympathy pain…"

Monroe tilted his head. "Okay."

"How can you talk about something like _that_ so openly?"

"What've I got to hide?" the boy asked, smiling as big as his face would allow.

Rin smiled as well, thinking to herself, _Eeee! It's cute, it's cute, it's cute!_

"You're really nice, Rin."

"Thanks. Now, while we're still in question mode…"

"Okay."

"Do you have a girlfriend or anything?"

"Actually, I'm kinda into guys."

Rin twitched. "Guys…"

"Mm-hm."

"Ya don't say."

"Rin? Are you okay?"

"No. I'm good. Just…excuse me while I go…rail at God for a while."

"Oh! Tell her 'hi' for me!"

XXX

"Do you think we should try to find a vet in Tortuga…? Berkeley's due for his shots…" Miguel said quietly. The gentle rock of the waves, he thought, would be enough to make him nod off on Benji's shoulder.

After the couple ridiculous "fight" had been resolved by an inevitable coin toss, they had felt content enough to spend the rest of the evening together in the crow's nest, so that was where they were now.

"Really? I wonder if we could just get him neutered…"

"Do _you_ want to deal with him after that?" Miguel reasoned.

"You have a point. Okay, shots good. Neuter bad."

Benji, after a moment of consideration, shifted himself so he could lean himself against the wall of the nest. In response, Miguel let out a whimper. Benji, being the awe-inspiring boyfriend that he was, scooped the Spaniard into his lap.

"Better?" the latter asked, brushing the rosy locks out of Miguel's emerald eyes.

"Much," the freckled Spaniard whispered, and much to Benji's surprise, pulled him down for a warm and enchanting kiss. This went on for awhile, before Benji eventually pulled himself away.

"You okay?" the redhead asked, clearly worried that he had overdone it.

Benji chuckled. "Yeah. Just a little lightheaded."

The pirate captain sighed, and then began to systematically kiss each freckle on Miguel's nose. The touch of Benji's light kisses tickled a little, then a little bit more, until…

"Benji…I m-munna…ah-ah-_choo!"_

Miguel sneezed, then stared into the eyes of a very engrossed Benji. "Sorry, Benny…" he said, completely melting.

"Mmm-hmm."

Miguel cocked an eyebrow. "Benny, the ship's on fire."

"Tha's nice…"

"Oh, for the love of…" Miguel moaned. The paler man had no choice but to try and coax Benji out of his stupor. He began caressing the broad features of his lover's face until the snowy-haired man's facial expression changed and he seemed to register the simple touch.

"Morning, honey " Miguel said, giggling.

"Mmm…pretty hands…" Benji muttered, cupping Miguel's hand in his own.

"Oh…? Want me to stop?"

"No, silly face…just talkin' bout' my Miguel."

"Are you drunk?"

"Maybe a little."

"Hmm, that's okay. Just keep being adorable and you're fine. Start trying to take advantage of my fake virginity and we're gonna have a problem."

"Fake virginity." Benji snorted.

"Don't be a butt, Benji…"

"Oklie-poklie, love."

"…Just a question, guys. Were all the men on this ship straight before they met me…? I'm beginning to think all previously straight men are coming out strictly out of self defense," Rin blurted from across the nest, like she was there the whole time, but maybe she was and not a one of them acknowledged each other's existence until now.

"Yes, Rin. You caught us. We're actually two straight men living a lie just so we can escape your feminine wiles," Benji retorted flatly.

"I KNEW IT!" Rin shouted proudly. "Okay, proceed with the gayness! I'm going to make something chocolate, with peanut-butter, deep-fry it, then smother in caramel."

"Are you…going to…eat it?" Miguel interjected, frightened.

"Yes."

"Just checking."

Satisfied, Rin left the lovers alone to make her artery-clogging conglomeration of doom.

Miguel stifled a fake sob as Benji mused. "There she goes…all on her own."

"Our little girl, gayness trailing in her wake, off to destroy manliness as we know it. Just as God intended."

"Oh, yeah, how is She, by the way?"

"I cannot disclose any information at this time."

"Okay. Cheater. Then do you think She'll mind if I start to kiss you again?"

"I think She would be offended if you didn't," Miguel said, getting off of Benji's lap to sit on his knees and beginning to bat his eyes.

"Good answer," Benji said in a low voice and brought both his hands up to cradle Miguel's face. "Hmm…you're getting a little stubble. It's weird."

Giving Benji an overwhelmed sigh, Miguel rolled his eyes. "I'll shave, I promise."'

"Fuzzy…"

"Benji, are you going to kiss me or not?"

"No, I don't think I will."

"Benjiii…"

"Well, since you're begging…" The pirate captain smirked, brushing his lips over Miguel's. Miguel slid his arms around his partner's neck, furthering the kiss. "Greedy…" Benji sniggered. **(3)**

"You're stupid, Benji…" Miguel said in a loving sort of way.

"Thanks, love."

"Benji…." the redhead shuddered.

"Yeah, Miguel?"

"Benji…it's a…it's a—"

SQUARK! **(4)**

Benji looked up as the seagull perched itself on the sail above their heads.

"Chill, Miguel. It's just _one_ seagull."

"M-M-M-M-Ma-Mafia…"

"What?"

"S-s-seagull Mafia…"

"Okay, now you're creepin' me out."

"The seagull Mafia **(5)**, Benji!" Miguel cried and pointed at the army of seagulls coming toward them.

"Well, dang…"

"You remember what happened to Ob-Bob last time…"

"Who's Ob-Bob?"

"Exactly!"

"Miguel, you're making no sense and it's weirder than the stubble."

"Ob-Bob was the teddy bear you won for me at the carnival when we were little."

"Oh, yeah….go on."

"Then _they_ came. First there was…" Miguel gestured and made a sound like ripping. "Then went his wittle arms….then his FACE!"

"Oh…but…"

"HIS FACE, Benji!"

"Eww…"

"…And after that they stole all the stuffing…" Miguel finished, hyperventilating a little.

"It'll be okay, Miguel," Benji reassured and received a peck from the seagull on the sail. "Ow…"

"Listen to me! I know! Ob-Bob knows! We both _know_, Benji!"

"Erm…"

"Run! Run awaaay! Save the women and children, your stuffed animals, all that is dear to you! Freaking run!"

"Hey, cap'n! I found my cannon!" Rin cheered.

Miguel, in an effort to look over the edge of the nest, almost flung himself off, but didn't care. "Shoot it, shoot it, shoot it!"

"No way, man. I can't kill a living creature."

"What if it's evil?"

"Is it evil?"

"Ye-he-he-heeesss!" wailed Miguel.

"Then fire up the grill! We're havin' chicken tonight!"

"Thank you, Rin!"

"Er, Miguel?" Benji interjected. "There's a…um…seagull on you…"

"SEAGULL FEET!"

XXX

Meanwhile, back in the galley, Erik felt like going into a frenzy himself. "My head hurts…"

"Well. You did drink five cups of tea, gov'ner…." Jiro said, in a truly horrible British accent.

"Don't call me gov'ner, please…"

"Pip, pip, cheerio. Scones and all that."

"Why are you so happy?"

"Cup o' tea, cup o' tea, almost got shagged, cup o' tea…"

"Will you stop?"

"As soon as you stop dancing around the situation," Jiro answered in a singsong voice.

"I'm starting to _not_ like you."

"You like me?"

"Well, I _did._ …Yeah."

"Catch me, I'm fainting!"

"…I think we should try."

Erik said it hastily, before he could stop himself. He looked just as shocked as Jiro did as the words left his mouth.

"Wait a minute…did you just say what I think you did?" Jiro asked stupidly.

"I did, but I guess I can say it again. I'm shamelessly attracted to you and I think we should give us a shot." Again, the shocked "Did I really just say that?" look crossed his face.

"…Erm…"

"I…like…you. How much more convincing do you need?" _What the hell? I did not just say that!_

"No. I'm good. Just surprised."

"Why?"

"Because I've been trying to say that to you for months and couldn't. And you just sum it up lie…like it's so easy."

"…Did anyone else just feel the shift in the space-time continuum?"

"I'd like it back the way it was, please."

"Okay. You wanna do that all again, or should we just shorthand it?"

"Shorthand."

"Okay. Jiro, I like boys."

"Yay."

"You're a boy, so I'm going to kiss you."

"Yay."

Erik made a kissing noise. "There, we're together."

"Life is good."

The doctor chuckled. "Good Lord, it's no wonder I've been alone for so long."

"And glad I am for it," Jiro said with his sharp grin. "Now shut up so I can kiss you again, will ya?"

XXX

"I say we gave those villains what was coming to them," Miguel announced, waving his make-shift anti-seagull banner proudly. **(6)**

"Yeah…I never would've guessed a seagull's one weakness was spittle…" Rin shrugged.

Benji stared at Miguel's banner and asked, "Erm, can I have my shirt back?"

"Aww, jeez! Benji, your chest is naked!" Erik shrieked, shielding his eyes. "I tburns…"

"Drama queen," Benji sighed.

"Hey. That's _my_ queen you're talking about," Jiro announced.

"Could we please stop referring to me as a queen and would you get a shirt on, Benji, _before_ I gouge my eyes out?"

"Not nice, Erik," Benji mused, pulling on a new shirt.

"Hey, Erik, I spit on a seagull! Twice!" Miguel beamed.

"Very good, Miguel." The doctor smiled and gave the redhead a pat on the head.

"Isn't that illegal?" Jiro asked.

"In all fifty states…AND Puerto Rico!" Rin added gleefully.

"So…who's gonna know?" Miguel questioned the sky.

Suddenly, a man rowed by in a rowboat. "I know…"

"Who _is_ that?"

"He knows I spit on a seagull!"

"Twice."

"Dude, WHAT IS YO' BEEF?"

That was when the group of wannabe pirates noticed…

"LAND!"

Miguel smiled at the pirate captain. "See, Benji? The ship made it just fine."

CRACK!

"Whazzat, cap'n?" Rin blinked.

"That would be the sound a ship makes when it's about to sink…" Benji whimpered.

"I hate you all," Erik said mutinously, glaring around at the crew as they all swam for shore.

"Yeah, well, we hate you, too," Rin informed him, splashing happily in the waves.

"HELP! MIGUEL, I'M DROWNING! SAVE ME!"

Miguel rolled his eyes. "Benji, you're a pirate. How is it you've never learned to swim?"

"SCREW YOU, I'M DYING!" Benji wailed, flailing in the water as he dog-paddled.

"You're not dying."

"Yes, I am!"

"Just stand up!"

"I can't, the water's, like, a hundred feet de—well, would you look at that?" Benji cut himself off, standing up as they reached dry land.

Mournfully, the crew turned to say a last farewell to their beloved and faithful ship—only to find that she was sitting in the shallows, half-sunk and carried in on the waves.

Benji studied it for a time, then nodded. "Yep! I can fix it! I'm sure of it, this time!"

XXX

**Several Hours Later**

"All right, so maybe I can't fix it."

"BENJI!"

* * *

**(1) **Erm…Antonio Banderas

**(2)** We know chapter six said the loveable "pirates that don't do anything" were headed for Spain. We meant Tortuga. Spain is later. Sorry for the confusion.

**(3) **It's a word. Google that!

**(4)** A mythological wart-covered bird that's perpetually feeling sorry for iself. Or, in this instance, a sound!

**(5)** Li The seagull Mafia exists! Shut up, I swear!

**(6)** On Making an Anti-Seagull Banner:

Benji's shirt: $4

Giant Sharpie: $5.99

Spitting on a seagull: Priceless


	8. And You Waited A While

_Authors' Note: Adara just wants to give a ginormous shout-out to Li-chan, who re-wrote twenty pages of dialogue and description in slightly more than a week and made it possible for us to actually get this chapter out before everyone died._

* * *

Li: Li's Special Report is brought to you by "The Minions of the Muffin King." Save a muffin, eat a pancake. **Glares **_Eat a pancake._ Seriously.

Anyways, I am very pleased that my pictures helped. In fact, it inspired me to draw more! So stay tuned for more picture-things (located at the end of this chapter).

Celestia, out!

* * *

Chapter 8

"Benji?"

"It's okay, Miguel. Before I was a captain I was a handyman. I _can_ fix this. But I'll need some tools…Rin! What do we have tool-wise?"

Rin shifted nervously. "Well, we have…this nail…and a half-eaten popsicle stick."

"I can work with that!"

"You're gonna fix a whole ship with a nail and half a stick?" Miguel asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Benji replied, holding up the nail and examining it.

"Good luck with that. The rest of you…I'm gonna need some barrels, a few planks of wood, and some paint," Miguel announced. "And…follow me!"

XXX

The merchant had a good feeling about today. Porting his ship in Tortuga seemed like an ingenious idea. The sun was out, the wind was perfect, and some other third thing had made today a fine day. _What could go wrong today?_ the optimistic merchant captain thought.

"Captain! There are people in the water!" said the lookout. "They're waving signs!"

"What do the signs say?"

"Better…slow…down...underwater explosives…ahead…"

"Turn! Stop! Explosives! Wah! Anchor!"

In the confusion, Miguel, Rin, and Jiro scaled the ship.

Once on the deck of the merchant ship Miguel drew his sword. "Thank you for stopping. See? This is my sword!" he said, gleefully waving a picture of a sword.

The merchant and his crew clapped.

"Thank you, thank you. Now…I'd like some lumber, nails, and a saw, please."

"Can do. How will you be paying?"

"Oh. Pay? I was under the impression that you were giving all this to me for free…"

"Why would I do that?"

Miguel pouted and waved expansively at Rin and Jiro. "Because we're pirates!" he whined. "Well…obviously."

"You're not very convincing."

"I'm sorry…"

"That's okay."

"I'll try harder this time." Miguel nodded. "Mr. Merchant, you will give us the equipment we need _NOW!..._er…please."

"Better…I guess…"

"Yay!" Miguel cheered as his comrades patted him on the back.

"Very good, Miguel," Jiro added.

"Boom now?"

"Yeah, okay, Rin," the redhead agreed.

"LE BOOM! …Erm…as the French Foreign Legion would say…" Rin explained to the otherwise clueless merchant crew.

XXX

When the group returned to their own ship, it was to find that Benji ad nailed one end of the popsicle stick to the side of the boat, and was busy knocking in another nail with one of the pancakes that Rin had made for breakfast that morning.

"Er…Benji?" Miguel asked.

"Eh?"

"Where's your hammer?"

Benji shrugged. "Rin's pancakes work better."

Rin grinned proudly.

"And…where did you get the other nails?"

The captain cast a glance at the warehouse by the deck. "…Uh…nowhere…c'mon, let's go get some food!" And with that, he took off—straight toward the water.

Jiro cocked his head quizzically to the side. "Are you gonna tell him, or should I?"

Miguel shrugged. "It might sober him up, at least."

Behind them, the warehouse collapsed to the ground in a massive pile of dust.

XXX

"…I hate this!"

Jiro chuckled. "You're grumpy."

"I'm _grounded_."

"Yes."

"It's boring."

"I quite agree."

Erik made a grumbling noise and dropped his head onto his arms.

Jiro laughed again. "Lemme buy you a drink."

"Doctors don't drink."

"Sure they do."

"Okay, then I just don't want anything."

"You're being impossible."

"Oh, no, have I shocked you?" Erik's eyes sparkled with amusement.

"BEEEEER!"

"…Oh, goody," Erik grumbled.

"Aww, you know you're happy to see us!" Benji said, clapping Erik on the shoulder.

Miguel glomped the doctor from behind. "Pleeeeeeease be happy to see us?"

"Hey, get off of him!" Benji yelled.

Miguel giggled and latched onto his lover. "Yay, jealous Benji!"

Benji sighed grumpily. "I need booze."

"BEEEER!"

"Thank you for that, Rin."

"Beer go boom?"

"…Sure."

XXX

"The hiiills are aliiive with the smeeells of cheeeese whiiiz…" Rin sang.

"Eww…." Miguel said, wrinkling his nose.

"We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine," Benji sang.

"NO, we don't. We live on a ship, Benji!" Miguel said, sounding offended.

"WE'RE ON A SHIP!" Benji yelled back as if he thought no one could hear him if he spoke at a normal volume.

"Nooo…we're in a barrr…."

"Then…WHY'S IT MOVIN'!"

"EARTHQUAKE!" Rin shouted, diving off her chair and then going back to drinking, content with where she was.

Erik snored. "That was graceful."

Jiro nodded. "Quite."

"Hey, barkeep, I need lots of coffee! I need coffee in an IV!"

"What's the coffee for?"

"Me! I need to get sobered up before the Neanderthal sets in."

"What do you mean?"

"Exhibit A," Erik replied, pointing to Rin, who was talking to a boy that was trying to flirt with her.

"Like to crush…crush now?" Rin slurred.

"Um…sure…" the random guy answered shyly.

Rin blinked, laughed loudly, then slapped the boy on the back. "You funny!"

The boy suddenly burst into tears.

"Oh, yeah…he's a keeper."

"Yeah, but Rin's always like that…"

"Exhibit B," Erik murmured as Miguel came to sit next to Jiro.

"Ya know what?" Miguel asked quietly.

"No, what?" Jiro replied.

"I am drunk off my bum."

"Ya don't say."

"But I just did."

"I know."

"But then…why you…? You just said…an-an-waaahhh!" Miguel cried.

"Erik! You make Miguel cry!" Benji growled.

"I did not! Jiro did!"

Benji, however, didn't care, because he was already comforting Miguel. "It's okay, sweetie. I won't let that mean meanie confuse you anymore."

"But…it's so hard! And what if he confuses somebody else? I can't let him do that!"

"Shh…I know."

"I rest my case…" Erik sighed.

"Shut up, Erik."

"No! My God, Ben. You're such a freak."

"Erik's a _meeean_ drunk…"

"Yes, he is. He's just a mean butt face. You don't have to listen to him. 'Cause I don't…"

Jiro chuckled. "Don't worry, Erik. I still love you."

"Thank you."

"Even if you're a mean butt face…"

"JIRO!"

XXX

Meanwhile, in some random piece of land somewhere in Spain, there was some kind of palace with some guy sitting on the throne. Nobody really knew what he did…he called himself "The King," but he didn't look like Elvis…

Well, anyways, he was a "king" even though no one knew why, and presently he was yelling at someone.

"It is no concern of mine whether you have…what was it again?"

"Um…food?" the stumpy peasant mumbled feebly. "See, my family is starving and we sold our last cow—"

"Ha! You really should have thought of _that_ before you became peasants! Take him away…"

"But…I…um…okay…" the peasant murmured quietly as he was dragged away.

"Well, that was a little harsh," mumbled Anastasia Beaverhausen from her desk next to the throne. No one knew what she did, either.

"_That_ was fair. I work and I work all day for these people, and what do I get! 'We need food, we're starving, I have nine kids to feed on only fifteen cents a year…' Bloodsuckers. I do all this for them!"

"What do you do again?" the woman at the desk asked, filing away her nails. "Not that I care."

"I use the money for my hair and mani-pedi facials. I try to look good for these people and they just don't appreciate it!"

"Uh-huh…honey, my shift ended, like, five minutes ago, so I don't have to care about your problems anymore."

"Do you care about my problems when you're on the clock?"

"No…"

"So…did anything come for me in the mail?"

"Yeah, but it came, like, two weeks ago."

"And…you didn't tell me?"

"Should I have?"

"Well, that _is_ what I give you these little checks for."

"Oh, I know, honey. And I love every single one of them. I put them in this little box on my desk."

"…Never mind. Gimme that letter," he grumbled as he plucked the pink envelope out of Anastasia's hands.

A moment of silence passed.

"Forget how to read?"

"No, I did not forget how to read! It's just my beloved cousin Karasu…he…"

"Died?"

"Got run over by a cow…"

"And died?"

"And he's…"

"Left his fortune to you?"

"Been dethroned…"

"So…no money…"

"The ones responsible must be punished!"

"…Not that I care or anything…"

"And I know exactly how I'm going to do it!"

"Good luck with that."

"You! Soldier person! Get the prisoner from cell II, XVIII, XV, XX, VIII, V, and XVII and bring him to me! Karasu's good name will be avenged or my name isn't King Fabio the V!"

"Well, if you ask me, neither of them were very good names to begin with. Ha! Even working for a tyrannical cross-dressing Spanish king, I'm funny!"

XXX

Li: AND…SCENE! Take a break, guys! Be back in an hour.

Ava: Wow, Li. An hour. What can I do with a whole hour?

Adara: Yeah, that was generous…did someone die?

Li: Why does it always surprise you people when I'm nice?

Ava: Because you're not…

Li: Oh…yeah…right. Hey! Get back here! Who said you could have a break!

Karasu: Hey, Li! Look at my hair! Isn't it glorious!

Li: No.

Karasu: Isn't it wonderful?

Li: No.

Karasu: Blonde?

Li: Yes. But still horrible.

Karasu: The only thing better than hairspray…that's meeeeeee!

Li: I don't use hairspray.

Karasu: Huh? But…why not?

Li: Because it's gross…like you…and it's toxic…also like you…and I just don't like it…kinda how I feel about you. Hey, maybe the reason I don't use hairspray is because it reminds me of you. Ya think?

Karasu: Hmm…then how does your hair do that?

Li: Hair wax.

Karasu: **hisses**

Li: Ooh, a new toy. **Holds up hair wax container**

Karasu: Eeeee! **Flees**

Li: **smiles** I think I have just discovered a way to rid myself of Karasu's presence. Next, world hunger! …Nah, too much work.

Adara: I think you should just stick to directing, hon…

XXX

"…Now we drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink…" bellowed a certain Irish man with fluffy red hair. He had been rowing for a while now, so his lover could catch a few Z's.

"Ya know, Jin, it is rather difficult to sleep with you carrying on like that," the ice man said, staring at the whirlwind through one half-lidded, slate blue eye.

"Oh, sorry, Touya! I'll be quiet now."

"No need. I'm awake now, anyway."

"Oh, no! You need yer sleep an' I'm sorry fer wakin' ya up an' all, but ya canna get off dat easy!"

"So this is…a punishment?" Touya asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yer takin' dis so outta context!"

"And you're really cute when you're caught off guard."

"Ya dinna catch me off guard!"

"Then allow me to do so," the icy individual said with a smirk, pulling Jin close…well, clos_er_, because they were already touching and all…and into a spellbinding kiss that left even the redhead speechless. "Erm…Jin…?" Poke. "Oh, no. Did I break you? Oh, my God, Jin, breathe!"

Suddenly, Jin burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. "Yer funny when ya worry about me!"

"Yeah…I'm absolutely hysterical…"

"Aww…what's wit' da pouty face? Ya's gotta perk up!"

Silence.

"Do ya want me ta sing da song…?"

"I'm happy, okay?"

"Okay. Hey! Funny thing! I wrote something ta those other guys on that ship. _The Herald Angel_ or something."

"The _Archangel?_ And when did you have the time to send a letter? Better yet, how did you do it without me knowing?"

"Don't worry…I sent yer love."

"But why?"

"Ummm…ya ask too many questions. Do ya know dat? Too many! Me head's about ta go BOOOM! Den dere won' be any more o' me! Nuh-uh! Jus' a big hole in da—"

Touya leaned in suddenly and silenced the loon by covering his mouth with his hand. "Can you shut up?" Kiss.

"Oh…o' course. What was I talkin' about? Was it important?"

"No."

"Okay. I wanna do the kissin' thing again now."

"Sure. Just as long as you don't go boom."

"Tha's a horrible thing to say Why would you say dat?"

Sigh.

XXX

The next morning, there were only two on the _Archangel_ who were unlucky enough to be bestowed with hangovers.

Benji, unfortunate soul number one, was in the galley with a ginormous bag of ice on his head, looking pathetic. And Rin, who could be found under a table in the galley, was in a fetal position covering her head.

"I'm never drinking again…" Benji moaned to the air.

Rin groaned. "Stop yelling at me…"

"I'm going to die…"

"Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh…"

"Hello, everybody!" Miguel cheered as he came up to them, practically radiating sunshine.

Rin let out a shriek that sounded like a wild animal dying as Benji winced. "Hello, love. Come sit down," he said, patting his leg.

"Okay!" the redhead clapped and sat down in Benji's lap. "Kiss the Miguel."

"Yes, ma'am." The captain smiled, bright eyes twinkling. The kiss started small, but as it went on it became questionable if either would ever come up for air.

"Benji, would you stop eating his face and tell him?" Rin whined.

"Oh, right. Now, Miguel. You remember what happened last time we got really drunk?"

"Not really, no."

"I told you something rather important that day."

"Oh! To keep my voice down around the hungover and misfortunate!" Miguel shouted. "Oh. Sorry…I'll keep quiet," he added in an energetic whisper.

"I'm sorry…I hate being so hard on you…"

"Oh, yeah, you're so mean. But I'm sure you'll make it up to me somehow."

"…Ew," Rin muttered, and then she ran out of the room looking a little green.

Benji blinked. "Well, that was kind of fun."

XXX

Monroe whistled as he placed another nail against the board and started to hammer. The little mouse had borrowed one of Rin's mechanisms to propel himself right next to the ship's massive hole. _The Archangel's_ new shipmate had been making progress from that little swinging contraption of Rin's and was quite proud of himself.

"…You cause me pain…"

Monroe jumped and looked around warily. "Are you talking to me?"

"Well, yeah…who else would I be freaking talking to?"

"Erm…wow…I wonder if Benji knows that his ship can talk…"

"What are you talking about? I am Benji…and you're hammering right next to my cabin…"

Monroe, who was swinging back and forth like a monkey, looked down to see Benji, who, in Monroe's opinion, looked upset, but he couldn't comprehend why. "Oh, hi, Benji. You have a nice room."

Benji glared.

"Are you mad at me/"

"_Yes!"_

"But why? I fixed the hole!"

"No, Monroe. You did not _fix_ the hole. You _moved_ the hole. INTO MY CABIN!"

"But…but I needed the boards…"

"And where are you going to get the boards to fix _this_ hole?" Benji asked in a deceptively pleasant voice.

"Uh…I hadn't really thought about that. Maybe I'll take apart some kegs."

"NO, YOU MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT! THAT BEER IS ALL THAT KEEPS ME GOING!"

"We could get new beer at the next port and just…not drink 'til then…"

"BLASPHEMER! YOU'RE A BLASPHEMER! YOU'RE FIRED! GET OFF MY SHIP!"

"But…I don't want to…"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to leave."

"Why not?"

"Because I like it here."

"Damn! He has an answer for everything!"

"I'm sorry."

"As you should be. And _why_ are you fixing the ship again?"

"Because it's…my fault," Monroe answered, looking completely puppyish.

"…_So cute._ Drat. Why is it your fault?"

"Because I made the first hole."

"No, you made the second hole. Those other fools made the first one."

"But…"

"Don't try to explain it. You'll hurt yourself," the white-haired captain reasoned.

"I…want to fix it."

"Lemme get this straight…"

Point. Stare. Laugh. "Seriously, Benji, seriously."

Laughter subsides.

"But…you want to work?"

"I don't want to have to leave…"

"So...you _work_?"

"Because if I didn't you'd kick me out…"

"I know you're new at this, but did it ever occur to you that no one else here works? ...Come to that, how is this ship even still floating?"

Monroe blinked. "It's not…?"

"Oh. Yeah."

"But…Erik works…"

"Huh?"

"And you hate him."

"I don't hate Erik."

"Yesterday, you yelled at him and spit on his shoe."

"That was different. I hated him yesterday. I might even hate him later, but right now I don't. And you don't have to fix my ship, Monroe."

"But…"

"I won't kick you off."

"But…"

"Miguel would kill me, and we…well, we like you, kid. Erm…Fitzer…pat…something-or-other."

"Sweazy."

"Whatever."

"I still wanna…" Monroe said, eyes widening owlishly as he raised the hammer.

"Wait—"

"Eh?"

"No—"

_SLAM! HAMMER! WHACK!_

"Ah! GOD!"

"What? Is this thing your voodoo doll or something?"

In reply Benji groaned and put his head in his hands.

Monroe thought for a moment the gave the board an experimental tap.

"Ow."

"…Huh. It really _is_ a voodoo doll." Once again Monroe thought about it, then shrugged. "Cool."

"No. Not cool. Decidedly not cool."

_Thwack._

"Ow! STOP IT! MONROE!"

Monroe put the hammer down.

"Thanks. So… what now?"

"Uh… do we… hug? Not hug?"

"Is that too gay?"

"Look around you. Nothing is too gay."

"Right. Miguel might not like it though."

"So… shorthand?"

"Shorthand," Benji agreed. "Monroe, glad to have you on the ship."

"Yay! Thanks!"

Benji held up his hand, and Monroe tapped the palm with two fingers.

"Want me to dispossess your ship now?"

"Sure, why not?"

"All right, then. You may want to leave the room though."

"…Not gonna ask, not gonna ask, don't wanna know…"

XXX

Jiro groaned as Erik bounced into the room and threw himself onto the former's bed, tapping his boyfriend on the head with a pillow.

"Erik, what the hell is the matter with you?" Jiro complained, not bothering to open his eyes as he shoved his face into his pillow. "Do you _ever_ sleep late? Or how about just on time? Can't you sleep until the sun comes up?"

"The sun_ is _up, silly! It's been up for hours! And besides,�I have a question to ask you."

"Mmph."

Erik, taking this as permission to continue, asked in a lofty voice, "Am I...more beautiful today than I was yesterday? _Or_, am I just as beautiful today as I was yesterday, but I just _lacked the self esteem to recognize it?_" He emphasized the last�part with a�series of�pokes to Jiro's shoulder.

Jiro's reply was to grab Erik's wrist and pull him down onto the bed next to him. Wrapping one arm around his waist, Jiro buried his face against the other man's neck. "Shh. No more talky. It's sleepy time now."

Erik simply smiled and snuggled closer, enjoying the warmth and comfort of the other's presence. There was a moment of silence, then…

"Damn you. Now I'm awake."

The doctor laughed and shifted so that he was lying on his back with Jiro's arm still around him. "Sorry."

"Uh-huh. So why are you in such a good mood this morning?"

"I had a really good dream."

"Wanna tell me about it?"

"Nope."

Jiro chuckled and propped himself up on one elbow to look down at Erik, brushing a lock of hair off the blonde's forehead. He stared down at Erik for a long moment before leaning down for a kiss. "Good morning," he said after pulling away.

Erik smiled back. "Good morning."

The chaplain stretched out on the bed once more, this time on his back with Erik's head resting on his chest.

"…Jiro?"

"Hmm?"

"Where did you grow up?"

"…Why?"

"Just tell me."

Jiro smiled. "Well…"

XXX

Erik chuckled quietly as Jiro finished one of his stories about the orphanage where he grew up. "God, I bet you were a piece of work."

Jiro laughed and rolled over onto his side to grab a cigarette.

"God, that's such a disgusting habit."

"So leave."

"Not cool, Jiro."

Jiro laughed and put the cigarette back. "Fine. You can make me breakfast, then."

"I hate you."

"No you don't." Jiro rolled out of bed and pulled Erik up with him. "C'mon, I'm hungry."

XXX

Luckily, the galley was deserted- the rest of the crew had apparently had their breakfast and scattered already. The two enjoyed a good breakfast and good conversation, beautifully and blissfully devoid of Benji and all things resembling him.

"God, I'm so spoiled," Jiro said happily as Erik started to clear the table. "Thanks for breakfast."

"Well, you didn't really give me a choice, did you?" Erik replied with a mock glare, turning to start washing the dishes.

A moment later, a pair of strong arms came around the doctor from behind, and Jiro rested his head on Erik's shoulder. "I can't help it. You look so cute when you're cooking your heart out for lil' ole me."

Erik blushed a deep red, and the plates in his hands clinked together as said hands trembled slightly. "Stop doing that!"

"Stop what? Telling you how cute you are or making you blush? 'Cause I don't think I can stop doing either one." Jiro dropped a kiss onto Erik neck.

The blush darkened. "Jiro…"

At this very inopportune moment, the door burst open and Benji entered the galley with Monroe in toe. "All right, lovebirds, break it up!"

Jiro sighed and dropped his head on Erik's shoulder. "Have I mentioned how much I hate my life today?"

XXX

Li: CUT!

Ava: Are we done?

Li: No… **flatly**

Sir Gawain: **wanders onto set** Hi, guys!

Miguel: Hey, look, it's our fan! **Points**

Li: **flabbergasted** I-It's… okay. Don't… look… desperate… must… resist… urge… to-

Ava: I SAW HIM FIRST! **charges**

Adara: **pushes her** NO! I DID!

Miguel: **shakes Gawain's hand while Li, Ava, and Adara killed each other** It's wonderful to finally meet you.

Gawain: Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Miguel: Yes, it should. Duck.

Gawain: Duck? Where? **looks around**

**Gawain is dog-piled by every member of the crew at once.**

Gawain: You meant the other kind of duck, didn't you?

Miguel: Yep.

Li: Guys, you're gonna kill the fan! We're not exactly in excess, ya know!

**Everyone immediately backs off in a panic**

_Twenty minutes later_

Li: **dumps out a fishbowl and puts it over Gawain's head, then studies her handiwork **So whaddya think?

Gawain: **in space-suit lookin' thing** Wow, Li, thanks for the plastic bubble!

Li: No problem. The fish isn't too happy, but hey we can't please everyone.

**Jin suddenly appears suddenly and hugs Gawain.**

Jin: Hello! Welcome to da set!

Gawain: **stops breathing**

Touya: Oh, no. Not again.

Li: What, again?

Touya: Jin found the "Fruit Loops". And, well, you can see what it does to him…

Li: What?

Touya: He's hyper.

Li: How can you tell?

Touya: Jin! Down!

Jin: **pouts**

Karasu: **waltzes in **Aren't I perfect?

Li: **shields Gawain's eyes** Gah! I'm sorry you had to see that…

Gawain: See what? I can't see anything.

Karasu: **gasps** Perfection is it's own reward, ya know.

Jin: Dat's what me mum used ta say. Dat an' "Stop dat or it's back ta da circus for ya!"

Touya: The circus…?

Jin: Ahh… da circus…

Li: **sings** Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to  
leave because I'd go berserk? Well... You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see I've gone completely out of my mind... And… They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa! They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa. To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!

Ava: **completely disheveled** You're stupid…

Adara: PIMP THE LIMP!

XXX

The _Arch Angel_ had finally been fixed. It was a miracle. No one knew how it happened. No one questioned it. It just was.

By the time the ship was organized (so they could set sail the morning after) and Miguel's anal retentive personality had been laid to rest for the time being, every one of the crew members was about to drop dead from starvation and alcohol deprivation (excluding Miguel on the alcohol bit). Seeing no alternative–and not trying too hard to find one–they headed into the pub. Except for Monroe, who didn't drink, and still thought that they would ditch him the moment he left the ship.

It was relatively large inside the bar, though dimly lit and rather gloomy, and the place was full of yelling, cursing, and drunken laughing. Several chairs had already been tipped and a table had been broken during the second bar fight of the evening. The crew made their way through the crowd, Benji keeping a tight hold on Miguel to keep anyone from grabbing him, and took the only empty seats at the bar.

"What can I get ya?" the bartender asked, grinning widely. He was either the ugliest cheerful man or the cheerfullest ugly man any of them had ever seen.

"Gin," Benji said.

"And?"

"Gin."

"Okay. You?"

"Lemonade. With lots of sugar," Miguel replied, smiling.

"Comin' up. What about you, pretty boy?"

Erik chuckled at the bartender, not really in the mood to take any teasing seriously tonight. "Coffee, and don't hold back on the amount. Serve it in a soup bowl, or just in the pot, just get me a LOT of coffee. And drop a shot of alcohol in it, too."

"Got it," the bartender said, chuckling as he turned to get their drinks.

"Why didn't he call _me_ pretty boy?" Miguel asked, leaning over to whisper to Erik. "I'm usually the target for that kind of thing."

"I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say it's because of the fact that Benji's practically breaking your ribs to let people know that you're taken and he won't let anyone insult you."

Miguel blushed. "Oh."

It wasn't long before the alcohol kicked into Benji's system, and the captain grabbed his lover and started kissing him passionately, with no regard to the time or place. Sugar usually had the same affect as alcohol on Miguel, so the redhead didn't exactly seem eager to pull away, and after awhile Erik began to feel rather ignored, and very lonely. Sighing, he drained the last of his coffee and motioned for a refill, looking around for someone he knew. Namely Jiro... but he wasn't going to let anyone else know that, of course.

Rin thanked the 'keep for the rum, and took another swig of it. "Keep'em coming, Ernie. I plan on getting very drunk tonight so I'm gonna have to pack a lot away." Looking back out towards the rest of the bar, just people watching when finally she spotted Erik.

Walking over, taking another swig, she leaned up against the bar beside her friend, poking him in the side in the process. "Hey," she said. "Where's your eye candy?" she asked nonchalantly.

Erik chuckled and smacked the girl gently over the head. "He's not my eye candy any more than I'm his boy toy. And I have no idea where he is. Probably smoking... somewhere."

"Uh-huh," Rin replied, obviously disbelieving.

The smile on Erik's face widened, and he nodded towards the mug in Rin's hand. "What are you drinking?"

"Rum."

"Hey, we need a refill on rum down here!" the doctor called to the barkeeper.

"Oh, you don't have to–"

"If I'm ever gonna shut you up, yes I do. So where do you think he is?"

Rin shrugged. "No clue. He followed me off the ship. Haven't seen him since. That's all I know."

"Fat lot of help you are," Erik grumbled, smiling nevertheless. Then he took one last drink of coffee and dumped the remainder of the cup's contents onto Benji's head. "Cool off your hormones, man. You're like a frickin' teenager."

Benji scowled at him and tightened his hold on Miguel's waist. "You're just jealous."

"I am not! I got me a man, remember?"

"That's definitely the alcohol talking," Miguel said, giggling.

"It is?" Erik smelled the inside of his mug. "Oh dear God, it is... What the hell are these people thinking, giving me alcohol?"

"Did you maybe... ask them for it?"

Erik's brow furrowed in a frown. "Yeah... I did... First I'm gay, and now I'm a drunk? Yeesh... hell of a week..."

"You're taking the pirate community by storm here, Erik," Benji teased, clapping his friend on the back. "Hey, Ernie! This guy needs whiskey! A straight shot of it! Strongest you have!"

"Benji, no--don't make me drink that, come on..."

"Uh-uh, no way you're getting out of it now. You've had a drink--"

"Mixed with coffee!"

"–And now you're going all the way. Drink!" Benji punctuated this last word by setting a shot of whiskey in front of the doctor on the counter.

"No... JIRO! WHEREVER YOU ARE, HELP ME! THEY'RE TRYING TO GET ME DRUNK!"

The rest of the group burst into laughter, and Benji ended up downing the whiskey himself. Then he shuddered. "Sweet mama jama, that stuff is strong!"

It was Erik's turn to roar with laughter this time, and he called for a refill, asking for triple caps this time. He shuddered when he drank it, the same way Benji had, and yelled, "WHOO! GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!" He drank the rest, twitching as it all hit his system in one straight shot. "Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the camel, what do they put in this stuff?"

"About three shots of undiluted alcohol," Benji replied nonchalantly.

Erik immediately yelled for water.

Miguel laughed. "Benny try to take it easy..."

"WHO'S YA DADDY?" Benji shouted with no intended point at all.

"What's that supposed to mean anyways?"

"The proof is in the pudding!"

"That's it! I don't want to be involved anywhere in your drunken world. And when you have the biggest hang--over you've ever had up to date tomorrow– Don't come crying to me." Miguel giggled, draining the last of his lemonade.

"Hey, how many margueritas is too many margueritas?" Benji asked, taking a swig of said beverage as the barkeeper sat it down in front of him.

Miguel shook his head. "Benji I know you can hold your alcohol– REALLY WELL– but maybe you have... had enough?"

Benji pouted. "Fine. I want coffee."

Miguel giggled. "You're like a petulant 12-year-old. Ernie, can we have some coffee? No alcohol... Benji needs to wash down whatever it is he drank."

And at that, Benji began to list every alcoholic substance he'd consumed that night. "Six mugs of beer, three margueritas, nine shots of whiskey, two shots of tequila, twelve glasses of wine and a rum ball."

"I am in awe."

"Pass the coffee?"

"I wouldn't dare not to."

Chuckling, Benji filled four mugs with coffee and passed three to the others, keeping the last for himself. "Okay, we need to get all this crap out of our systems now or we're gonna have massive hangovers tomorrow."

"We'll have massive hangovers anyway," Miguel replied. "Well... you will, anyway."

Erik laughed and grabbed his coffee, holding it up and saying, "To friends."

Miguel raised his cup. "To freedom."

"To cannons!" Rin added, also raising her cup.

But Benji topped them all and summed up everything they'd said as he held up his cup and said, "To piracy!"

"I'll drink to that," Erik replied, clinking his cup against the others'.

"Nonsense, Mike. And you know you had too many marguerita's when you can't remember your own name... Ain't that right, Bernard?" Rin said taking another swig of her rum. "And I... am not drunk... see? My name... is Rawnie. See? Fine and dandy..." she said, eyes glazing over.

"Anyone else want to be the one to tell her that she's totally intoxicated?" Miguel said looking across the row of his friends.

"I was DRUNK last night, dear MOTHER! I was DRUNK the night BEFORE! But if you forgive me, dear MOTHER! I won't be a DRUNK anyMORE!" Rin said swaying along, until she finally fell off the barstool onto the floor. "Le boom!" she said, pointing upwards.

Benji groaned. "Someone sober her up before she busts all our eardrums."

"Benji!" Miguel admonished.

"What? The girl's completely tone deaf!"

"Hey! Bernard! I heard that!" she said, pulling herself up from the floor. "I control the rum, it does not control me," she said, plopping herself on her stool.

"I won't 'member any of this tomorrow," Benji slurred, downing another cup of intensely strong coffee. He shuddered. "Okay, that one was stronger than the last four. I think I'm sober now." He tried to remember the names of all those surrounding him, and his eyes crossed. "...Nope. Never mind. More coffee!"

With an idle drag on his cigarette, Jiro cast open the door to the bar. Once inside, his eyes wandered the place, settling on the rest of his shipmates once he'd swept his gaze across the bar counter. He proceeded to wade through the drunkards. People didn't like being pushed or moved, even though he'd said "Excuse me" every time, the alcohol overpowered their better senses, which lead to their untimely unconsciousness. Finally, the chaplain flung some idiot who was giving the bartender trouble from his seat, which happened to be directly next to Erik, and sat. Jiro smiled for once, before blushing a slight bit when he noticed exactly how drunk his partner had become.

"Um... Erik? Are you alright...?" Was his query, his hand snubbing his cigarette while the other set itself on the doctor's shoulder to get his attention.

"Aw, Jeeves. He alright. Don' worry 'bout' 'im." Rin said leaning backward in her stool next to Erik to look at Jiro. "Here. Have some rum. 1923... good year, good year..." she said taking a swig from the bottle before offering it again to the chaplain.

"She's drunk," Miguel explained.

Erik laughed. "I'm fine, Jiro. Kinda tipsy, but I think it's from a caffeine overload more than anything else. God, why do people drink this stuff?"

XXX

Everything was going just the way it should be. Jiro had a couple of drinks, but refused to sink into intoxication, Erik was completely sober now due to a massive caffeine intake, and Benji and Miguel were making out like teenagers on the same bar stool, so everything was right on schedule and going well. It was all going well, that is, until a very tough and mean-looking man came over and leaned casually against the bar next to the kissing pair, smirking.

After a moment, they noticed he was there, and broke the kiss. Benji looked up, annoyed. "Is there something we can help you with?"

The smirk grew. "I couldn't help noticing your pretty little girlfriend," the newcomer said.

"He's a guy, and he's not interested," Benji snapped, his arm tightening around Miguel's waist.

"And he can speak for himself," Miguel said in an irritated tone, though his hand tightened around Benji's to show the captain his anger was not directed at him.

Benji chuckled. "So you got this, then?"

Miguel smiled in return and gave Benji a quick kiss. "Yeah, I got it. Go back to your drink."

The captain obeyed, taking a sip of his coffee. Erik, Jiro, and Rin had turned their attention to Miguel, ready to jump in and protect the redhead if need be. Benji pretended not to be listening, but in fact he was concentrating solely on his lover's conversation.

"It's like he said," Miguel said cooly. "I'm taken. Surely if you noticed me, you noticed the man who was joined to me by the mouth at the time."

"So you're taken," the man said calmly, a look creeping into his eyes that Miguel didn't quite like. Then he reached out and grabbed Miguel's hand in a bone-crushing grip. "And you're sure there's nothing we can do about that?"

Miguel fought a grimace of pain and disgust and snatched his hand away with a vicious yank. "I'm sure," he replied, his voice freezing now. "You need to go sober up and move on, because you're not getting any tonight, at least not from me."

The smirk turned into an angry scowl, and the man reached out to grab Miguel again, this time in a hold that was much less innocent that a touch on the hand.

And Benji was suddenly out of his chair like a ball out of a cannon. Glass mugs and bottles crashed to the floor as the captain slammed the newcomer against the bar with a sharp blow to the face. Erik, Jiro, Rin, and Miguel all joined the fight an instant later, and the other guy called up his friends for help.

The next few minutes were a complete blur. Jiro was doing his best to end the fight quickly, Rin had jumped onto one of the men's back and had grabbed his hair in a hold that Andre the Giant couldn't have worked his way out of and was currently screaming "CANNON BALL!" at the top of her lungs, Benji and Miguel were fighting side-by-side in the exact center of the group, and Erik was currently facing off with the group's leader, a.k.a. "The Big Dufus".

The man went to throw a punch at Erik's face, and the scowl on his face sparked something in the doctor's memory. He couldn't quite place it, but as he dodged the punch, he suddenly remembered, and the shocked look on his face must of stopped his opponent, because the rest of the group stopped upon seeing that their leader's movement had halted. And suddenly, a spark of recognition crept into the man's eyes, and while the smirk stayed on his face, there was less feeling in it now.

The two stared at each other for a long moment, the sickening smirk still on the man's face.

"S-Simon?"

XXX

Yomi glanced up from the book and spent a second studying the absorbed expression on Shura's face. Then, quite suddenly, he snapped the book shut with a decided, "I think that's enough for today."

"WHAT THE CRAP, YO!"

* * *

_Li: I bet you think I forgotted the pictures. Well you're horrible for thinking that and I didn't forgetted! But I ish sad that I only hash three pictures for ya's. _**thinks**_ Okay typing like this is tiring. Soo... pic one!_

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_Look it's Simon! Who's Simon, you ask? Well I don't want to spoil anything, but Erik seems to know him... Anyways he's Simon. He's a royal pain in the you-know-what. And, yes, he going to be a permanent character. And, no, we're not sorry. WE'LL NEVER BE SORRY!_

_Picture #2: _

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_Yay! Erik and Jiro! Erik and Jiro! WHEEE!_

_Pic #3:_

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_And lastly we have Princess Rin!_

_Li: Rin in a dress!_

_Rin: _**threateningly**_ You get one of those in a lifetime, you just cashed in!_

_Li: nods Uh-huh..._

_The End. Of this chapter. Not of the story, God!_

_But that is NOT the end! For behold, we have the LOTS MORE PICTURES! I think you've already seen them, Sir Gawain, dear, but the chapter they were in just kind of deleted, so we copied and pasted that note into this chapter. So, here it is, in convenient NOT-italics to separate it from the rest of this note._

Special Non-Chapterish Thingy!

Li: (In a brand new, random, and news room set.) This is the Li Celestia special report!

crew writhes in pain, flailing on the floor and such

Li: ignores and trudges on boredly (which is a REAL word no matter what spell check says) Oh, that's interesting... forgets to read it to everyone else Erm in other news... bad things happen in a place where bad things don't usually happen, people are shocked... house slides down hill... liposuction kills, so people MUST STAAAY FAT! Which reminds me that I want a sandwich. snaps fingers expectantly

Oh my gosh, people (meaning Sir Gawain)! I hadn't the slightest that our characters were so skewed and undescribed. I take most of the responsibility... I suck at descriptions. Well I take responsibility when I'm NOT writing either way. I will actually be writing a big portion next chapter... I can only hope.

ANYWAYS! I'm going to make it up to you, Sir Gawain (yeah, we've given up on ever getting reviews from anyone else, and are now writing exclusively for you. No, seriously, this is us:

Adara: Hmm...what should we write next?

Ava: I dunno...twirls hair on pencil

Li: Well, let's think. What would Sir Gawain like?

they begin to write what they think Sir Gawain wants)!

Actually the point (which is still probably lacking most of the features that points generally have.) I drew pictures! YAY! I did, really! SHOCK! AHH! OMG! ...what's with the all the "!"...?

SO! Here it goes, bear with me I'm not so excellent at drawing. Not that I don't think I'm good I just think I'll stick to my day job (which is cake decorating). Plus I only do pencil, THAT'S IT! No paint, no watercolor, no airbrush. Pencil, color pencil... ALL!

And I will show you why...

Exhibit A: Sorry Miguel... (Me experimenting with pastels...)

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EXPLANATION OF OTHER PICS: Full sized pictures of characters, and a chibi-ish one to go with each one.

Firstly is Benji. Drew this picture and hated it, redrew it and liked it just cuz. It's Benji! What else can I say...?

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Yay Miguel! Okay I started drawing this and I don't know why Miguel looked seriously erm... 'slutty'?

Miguel: Nooo!

Li: I'm sorry!

Miguel: cries I'm a WHORE!

Li: Nooooo!

Miguel: I AM!

Benji: nods Yeah, but you're MY whore.

Miguel: sobs and runs away

Benji: No! Ack! Miguel, I didn't mean it! Miggguuueeel! runs after him

Needless to say the picture caused some drama between me and my co-workers... (I'm a weirdo who talks to their pictures as I draw them.) So I fixed it somehow, I dunno I'm magic or something because the picture turned out SO CUTE! So yay me, it's a victory! makes a V with her fingers

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Miguel: blinks Wazzat?

Li: You...?

Miguel: turns to Li and pokes her nose FACE! flees

Li: flabbergasted

Erik... Oh boy. Erik is difficult... OH WELL, LOVE BIG GLASSES!

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Li: runs around screaming "MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAA LONG LIVE THE NOODLE SCOOZE!"

Jiro: Oooh nurse.

Erik: Watch it!

I love Jiro, love the hair, love the body language, LOVE LOVE LOVE! So here isht "Just Jiro!"

Jiro: jazz hands

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OMG Rin! Rin is awesome, she is modeled off of our dearest friend Sam. God knows I love this girl. And well this picture is pretty Samalicious, uh-HUH!

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Monroe Fitzerpatswezy. Blonde hair, blue eyes, just slap an apple pie on the boy and he's the all American pirate. Except, what's with the name...? It's awesome, right?

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Here is the Berkeley-thing... Which is not SO thing-ish. BUT who cares? I love the cuddlemuffins out of him!

Berkeley: shudders ...really?

Li: TELL NO ONE!

Berkeley: Gladly.

Li: glomps

Berkeley: Oh my FREAKING God! Girl parts! EWW! GET IT OFF!

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Geez, that was almost normal... MOVING ON!

TAA-DAA! Now I present some really really old (from the first story old) and some not so old (I drew em' this year) pictures. Enjoy!

Description: My very first picture of Benji and Miguel's Reunion. It's everyone's favorite.

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Description: It's itty bitty lil' Benni and Miguel. What's with Miguel and the butterflies?

Miguel: imitation of Bambi Butterfwy...

Audience: Awwweee...

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Description: Hey, something I drew this year. Erm... I must've been angry that day cuz the coloring is baaaadddd... BUT more adorable Miguel and Benji!

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Description: Yay! A tribute to Erik and Jiro's first kiss. And it turned out awesome! Erm, well I think so...

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Lastly for my own personal kicks I give you Li, Ava, and Adara. No one asked for them, but here they are! I win! HA... HAHA!

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Annnnd... there it is... my works of art. Celestia OUT!

Li: quickly bows and flees in terror

AN: Expect more pictures as the story progresses, unless I really do suck and no one wants them. Then I'll just wave them around and do a ceremonious dance. Ooga Booga!

P.S. Adara wants you to know that she was the one who did all of the spelled-out links to the pictures, and given her incredible capacity for stupidity and mistakes, there's a good chance she did something wrong. If that's the case, she says you should e-mail us and let her know so she can correct the mistake.

Thanks for sticking with us!


	9. Family Guy

_Authors' Note: Yep, our chronically lazy Adara-chan has done it again! She kept this chapter in her drawer for a _whole week_ before she finally started typing it. _**Adara bows her head contritely** _Sorry, guys…_

Chapter 9

The bar had fallen silent as Benji and his crew went still. The captain was the only one who heard Erik's whisper, but the others—even total strangers—knew that something big must be happening to make Benji voluntarily pull back a punch.

"Simon, it's…it's me."

No answer. The stranger looked just as shocked as Erik did.

"I…what are you doing here?"

Still no reply, but the "Simon" person was quickly getting over his shock, and a smirk was beginning to cross his face.

"Erik, what…?" Benji began to ask, but was stopped by the feel of Miguel's hand on his and a warning shake of the Spaniard's head.

There were several long moments of silence, and then Erik turned and shoved his way through the crowd, the bar suddenly feeling as though it were far too small. The walls and the people…they were pressing in too close. He needed out, he needed air…

He needed to be away.

XXX

The harbor was nice at this time of night. Very peaceful, as everyone had finished their work and was at the tavern or sleeping off their hangovers. Erik was extremely grateful for that at this moment…

Of all the possibilities, this was the very last thing that Erik had expected to happen. In a million years, he had never for a moment dreamed that he would ever see Simon again. Now not only was he back in Erik's life, but…he hadn't changed a bit since the night Erik had last seen him.

So much for that dream…

XXX

Back at the bar, silence still reigned. Most of the customers had left during or after the commotion had started, and the few that were still there had lost interest and gone back to their drinks. The crew of the _Archangel_ still stood in the center of the room, gather in a rather intimidating line and facing the stranger who had caused Erik such distress.

"Who the _hell_ are you?" Benji finally demanded, an anger he hadn't quite figured out how to explain rising in him.

Simon—which they had already concluded to be his name in a clever and cunning show of their Incredible Smarts—blinked, and then smirked. "What, he didn't tell you?"

"Tell us what?"

Simon looked around at them all, that sickening smirk still on his face. Then he laughed quietly, almost to himself. "Figures," he muttered, turning back to the counter and dropping some money on the table. "Have a good night, boys."

And then he was gone.

Benji blinked, very confused by this time. "What the hell was that?"

XXX

When the crew returned to the ship, it was to find Erik in the galley, staring blankly down into a cup of coffee. Benji send the others off to bed, but he, Miguel, and Jiro (who could not be persuaded to leave even by the most threatening glares) remained in the doorway. They stood there for several minutes, unsure whether or not it was safe to enter.

Erik, of all people, was the one to break the silence. "He's my brother."

The others blinked, unsure of what to say. More silence.

"I'm going to bed."

With that, Erik stood and shoved past them, not meeting their eyes as he left them standing rather awkwardly in the galley.

XXX

Benji sighed quietly as he stared at the ceiling, his arms folded underneath his head.

Miguel turned away from the mirror, setting his brush on the dresser. He smiled sadly as he stretched out on the bed and laid his head on his lover's chest, throwing one arm around his waist. "What're you thinking about?"

Benji let out another sigh, folding his arms around the redhead and running his fingers through the newly detangled hair. "Nothing, just…_why_ didn't he tell me?"

"I don't know, Benny."

"I mean…we're supposed to be best friends. He knows everything about me, and I…I thought I knew everything about him."

"Well, maybe…"

"Yes?"

"I…don't know, Benji. I just don't know."

XXX

The ship was completely silent by the time the door to the doctor's cabin opened and Erik emerged. He was very thankful for this, as the very _last_ thing he felt like dealing with right now was a barrage of questions from his friends.

The bar was completely empty by now, except for the bartender, who was just finishing wiping down the counters. He looked up when Erik came in, and gave him a sympathetic smile. "You look like you could use a drink, kid."

""Believe me, that is the _last_ thing I need right now," Erik replied with a small smile. "I actually came to ask you something."

"Eh?"

"That guy that was in here earlier…tall, brown hair, lots of muscle, sorta mean looking…know who I'm talking about?"

"Think so. What about him?"

"What do you know about him?"

The bartender shrugged as he started to wipe off the dirty beer mugs with a filthy rag. "Not much. See him in here from time to time. There's lots of pubs in this town, I'm pretty sure he hits one every night. Always sorta keeps to himself…still manages to go home with a different girl every time he's here, though. Don't know how he does it."

"Do you know if he lives around here?"

"Nah, never asked. Didn't see a point. Guy doesn't seem too big on the sharing."

"Well…do you know what he does during his free hours? Do drugs? Drink a lot? Start bar fights? Murder innocent puppies?"

The bartender sighed. "Look, kid. Guy comes in, orders up the whole kitchen more often than not, pays in full…I don't ask who he is or where the money comes from. Would you?"

Erik smiled slightly. "No…no, of course not. Thank you." He turned to go."

"Hey, kid."

The doctor paused, and turned halfway around. "Yes?"

"Were you in that scuffle earlier? Were you part of it?"

Erik thought abut it for a moment. "More than you know, sir."

Then he disappeared into the night, and the bartender put the strange encounter out of his mind.

XXX

The next two days passed quietly. Erik was not seen outside his cabin for all of that time; what had transpired at the bar had affected him deeply (perhaps more deeply than it really should have).

Jiro was the one most disturbed by Erik's adoption of this new hermit-like personality. He was seldom seen anywhere except outside the doctor's door, and when he wasn't there, he was skulking around the ship in a thoroughly foul disposition.

Benji wasn't much better off. He was still bothered by the question of why Erik hadn't told him about Simon from the beginning, and that combined with his worry for his friend to put him in a profoundly unhappy mood (worrying annoyed Benji to the extreme). And since Miguel's mood usually resembled Benji's in one way or another, and then affected the rest of the crew…the _Archangel_ was not an ideal place to be during those two days.

When Erik finally emerged from his hole, it was to find that most of the crew had taken up residence outside his door and were slumbering deeper than hibernating bears. He chuckled in amusement and nudged Benji with his foot. "Wake up, moron," he whispered affectionately, kneeling down next to the captain as his eyes opened. "I need to talk to you."

"Erik, wha…?"

"Shh," Erik murmured, putting a finger to his lips and motioning to the sleeping people around them. Then he got to his feet, tugging Benji up with him. "Come on."

Silence. Then…

"Oh, _hell_ no."

The door to Erik's cabin slammed open and Benji barged angrily out, ignoring his crew as they started into wakefulness. "You can't be serious!"

"Benji…" Erik began tiredly.

"Erik, I've seen what he's done to you—what this _one_ _time_ has done to you. I don't even want to _think—"_ He cut himself off, taking a deep breath, and when he spoke again, it was in a quiet, controlled voice. "Erik, this is my ship. I make the decisions. And it's not happening."

Erik's voice was equally calm. "It may be your ship, but it's my life. And if…" He trailed off; he couldn't bring himself to finish that thought. "Benji…please."

There was a long silence, during which everyone leaned forward slightly and anxiously awaited Benji's answer—though they weren't quite sure what the question was.

The captain looked at Erik's face, and it suddenly occurred to him that he had never seen so many raw emotions in the doctor's eyes. Seeing them now, he felt himself caving. "Okay," he finally conceded. "All right. But I'll be the one to talk to…_it."_

Erik smiled in relief. "Fair enough. You'll probably be able to find him in one of the bars come nightfall. Now come on, let's go get some food! Miguel's cooking!"

"Oh, am I?" Miguel asked, his eyes twinkling in amusement under raised eyebrows as the group headed off towards the galley, still slightly confused by what had just transpired.

"Hey, Erik, wait."

Erik paused, and turned back to look at Jiro. "Hmm?"

"Can we talk for a minute?"

The doctor sighed inwardly—gay, straight, bi, asexual, whatever you were…those were _not_ good words to start off a conversation with. But what else could he say?

"Sure."

A long moment passed, during which the two stood and stared in awkward silence at one another. Erik finally turned to stare out at the ocean, just to give himself something to do.

"Erik…" Jiro finally began, going to join the doctor at the rail. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I…I don't…" Wait. No. That wasn't true. Pause. "The same reason I didn't tell Benji, I guess. Or anybody else." Another pause. "Look, you guys…you're my new life. Simon's…not. And I didn't want you guys to know about that other Erik, because…if you know about him and you acknowledged him…then that would mean he actually existed. And I just wasn't ready to face that yet. I don't think I ever will be ready."

"Then why did you ask Benji to get him on the ship?"

Erik looked down at his hands. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do. Erik, if there's one thing I've learned abut you, it's that you _always_ have a reason for doing the things you do." He paused, then reached out to lay his hand over Erik's. "Come on. Talk to me. Please."

The doctor was silent; he really had no idea what to say. So instead of answering the question, he turned his hand over so that their fingers interlaced, and whispered, "Jiro…"

The chaplain frowned at the tone in the other man's voice, but waited for him to continue.

Erik smiled slightly as he looked out over the water. "Look, Jiro. I get that you care about me. I'm still not totally clear on why, but I get that you do. But…you and I haven't been together for very long at all. It's all been really fast…absolutely great, don't get me wrong, but really fast. There's still a lot we don't know about each other, and….there's not a lot holding us together at this point."

Jiro opened his mouth to interrupt, but closed it almost immediately. Erik was trying very hard to express this, and if interrupted, he may _never_ be prevailed upon to finish his thought.

"And this thing with Simon…it's gonna be really hard. I'm bound to get pretty neurotic. I'm gonna end up trying to push you away more than once…when I'm not clinging to you for dear life, that is—literally and metaphorically speaking. And whether you want to believe it or not, you'll get fed up with me eventually."

Jiro started to speak again, before Erik interrupted him.

"All I'm saying is, if you want to run, or if you think you're going to want to somewhere down the line…that's all right. Run, by all means. But do it now. Don't run away later when I'm going to need you the most."

Jiro was silent, realization dawning on him. "You're giving me an ultimatum."

"Pretty much, yeah. Believe me, I'm not thrilled about it, either. I've been hating myself ever since I started talking, but I don't know what else to do here."

"No, I get it." Jiro smiled sadly. "I really do." He looked down at their intertwined fingers, then back up at the doctor. Reaching out to stroke one of the pale cheeks, he said softly, "You really are different from anyone else I've ever met, Erik. I hope you'll see that one day." Then he pulled the other man closer for a kiss. The motion had a sad, bittersweet feeling behind it. And, giving Erik's hand a gentle squeeze, he turned and walked slowly away.

XXX

Jiro elected not to go with them to the bar that night, and as he drank with his friends (minus Benji, who had gone to find Simon), Erik began to winder if he had destroyed everything that was good about his life in the course of a single day.

These concerns were quickly laid to rest, however, when he returned to his cabin that night to find a rose and a note attached to the door. The note consisted of only three words: _I'm not running._

Smiling happily, Erik inhaled the rose's scent and walked toward Jiro's cabin, not entirely sure what he was going to say when he got there.

The room was dark, but he was able to find the bed without much trouble. Removing his shoes, he stretched out on the bed with his back to the apparently sleeping Jiro. He couldn't explain it, but he needed the chaplain's company right now. He had just closed his eyes and started to relax when a strong arm came around his waist and he was pulled back again Jiro's strong chest.

The smile was evident in the chaplain's sleepy voice as he said, "You didn't really think you were getting rid of me that easily, did you?"

Erik chuckled quietly, turning his head to look up at Jiro.

Jiro smiled back at him, reaching out with one hand to gently stroke Erik's hair. His hand then wandered to the back of the doctor's neck, and he drew the blond closer. "Come here," he whispered, drawing Erik into a gentle, reassuring kiss.

XXX

Benji didn't return until the next morning, and when he did, he was dragging a very angry-looking Simon behind him. Jiro and Erik were still asleep, but the rest of the crew was on deck when Benji shoved the newest passenger against the rail. "Someone make sure he doesn't cross any lines, and for God's ever-loving sake, keep him _away_ from Erik until I can figure out where he _really_ stands on the situation. I'll be in my cabin." Then he stalked to said cabin and slammed the door behind him.

"Oh, yeah, this is gonna work out _great,"_ Rin muttered sarcastically.

XXX

After Simon's rather _impressive _entrance, it was safe to assume that no one was very eager to have a heart-to-heart with him. Even Rin, who was not a very sardonic person, had the man dubbed as "the evil death spawn that Satan himself would spit upon."

Right after Benji's outburst Miguel rushed to comfort his lover. He didn't know if he could for sure, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try.

XXX

Rin was just as upset as everyone else on the _Archangel_, but she was still in need of a cannon that went boom. Her destination was clear as the made her way past the multitudes of slobbering drunkards. At that moment she let her mind wander to things probably more epic than anything she could actually say.

Rin wasn't much for theatrics. She was, in a word, raw. With her feelings, mannerisms, and most importantly her beliefs. Being as she was, she rarely gave herself much chance to reflect. And now seemed to be the perfect time to do it.

She looked to the stars as she thought. _Anyone else who passes this town would just see the filthy and retched remains of what could have been a thriving city, once upon a time._

But to Rin it didn't seem that awful, or horribly taboo; to her, this town was the epitome of freedom and righteousness. She smiled wittingly to herself, knowing that she had been right in thinking this.

Her sentiments, however, ended as swiftly as they came when she reached her destination—a smithy shop that belonged to a friend of hers. Hearing the once-familiar sounds of "clink-clink," she followed the noise.

This led her to the main room where a slightly tan, ginger-haired girl "panged" on a hunk of red-hot metal with a giant mallet. Rin smirked, and leaned back against the door frame. "Got anything for lil' ole' me back there?" she called to her friend's back, batting her eyelashes.

Turning around, jade green eyes twinkling, the girl dropped her hammer slightly. "Do I know you? You're ugly…I can't have ugly people chasing away my customers. Why don't you leave?"

"Oh, yeah? Well, you…you're a…you smell, Ida."

"Yeah, well, you're no daisy, either," the smithy said, cracking a smile.

"It's not time for my bi-monthly shower yet!"

"Oi! Where's my hug, then, freak?"

"Right here," Rin squealed, encompassing Ida in a great bear hug.

Ida choked. "But on a serious note, Rin, sweetie…"

"Yeah?"

"…You are going to bathe soon, right?"

XXX

Benji lay on his bed, his head resting on the headboard. His eyes studied the ceiling, but not on any part of it in particular. As Miguel crept inside the cabin the captain's eye averted to his first mate.

Miguel attempted a smile, but Benji swiftly fixed his gaze to the wall opposite the redhead.

"Benji," Miguel whimpered, sounding hurt. He climbed onto the mattress and laid down to rest his head in Benji's lap. "Please talk to me."

The man didn't respond with words, only a sigh that let Miguel know he wasn't going to be easy to cheer up.

Miguel sighed and drew circular patterns with his finger on Benji's chest. They sat in silence for awhile until Miguel had the courage to keep going. "Benji?" Miguel asked, his voice on the verge of cracking.

"Yeah?" Benji replied, in an equally soft whisper.

"I…don't like him."

Benji sighed. "I know."

"Not in a million years would I even consider him. Just you…and only you, forever. You know that, right?"

Benji tightened his hold on Miguel. "I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to freeze you out," he pleaded.

Miguel groaned. "Oh, great. Well, I don't want to be the one to break the news to Berkeley.'

Benji chuckled. Miguel sighed happily and nuzzled closer into Benji's chest. Finally, there was a smile on Benji's face. _Mission accomplished._

The white-haired man stared into the emerald eyes that were resting just above a sprinkle of freckles. He skillfully brushed back the fiery red locks of his counterpart as Miguel stared back.

"Are you all right now?" the redhead asked.

"It's just…Erik."

"Will be fine."

"I know. He had Jiro now. He can do more for Erik than I'll ever be able to."

"Oh, Benji. That's not true…"

"But it is."

"Erik will always need you, Benji. You're his best friend. And when there are those times when he needs Jiro more than he needs you, just remember that _I_ will always need you."

Benji sighed heavily. "God, I'm stupid."

Miguel's face had a dawning look of confusion suddenly. "That's not true either, Benji."

"No, I am," Benji said, exhaling sharply and drawing Miguel in as close as he could. "This whole time I was sulking and I didn't even think about what it was doing to you. Miguel, I'm sorry."

"No, I'm fine…"

"You don't sound too convincing."

"Okay, so I'm not fine, far from fine, but Erik's hurting right now. I wasn't about to make you ignore him and tend to me."

Benji touched his lips to Miguel's forehead. "Tending to you has _never_ been a chore. I'm kinda in love with you, remember? Therefore I get to reap the benefits."

A mischievous look crossed over Miguel's face. "Benefits, hmm?" Smiling slightly, he slid on top of Benji's chest, his hands sliding under the captain's white shirt, exploring the familiar body underneath.

As Miguel began kissing a trail from Benji's chest to his neck, the man felt his eyes flutter closed. With his head dropping back against the headboard, he let himself become totally relaxed.

Miguel slowly worked his way up to Benji's neck, until his face was right in front of Benji's. Benji's eyes opened slowly, and he stared at Miguel, who smiled at him and leaned in for a kiss.

Instead, Benji seized the opportunity to seize the initiative. He captured his younger partner's lips and eased him down onto the soft mattress, watching the way his hair spread out around the pillow to his green eyes clouding over in surprise. But before Miguel could protest the alabaster-haired man kissed the side of his lover's neck, tugging lightly at his faded shirt.

Miguel leaned his head back, panting in attempt to get some air. "Benji…" he whispered, letting his lips glide over Benji's cheek. In reply Benji leaned down and kissed Miguel's pale cheek in a comforting gesture. He then shifted his position to hover just beside Miguel instead of completely over him.

The Spaniard faced Benji, the man he trusted more than anyone, and more importantly the man he _loved_ more than anyone. For a moment his fair hands and arms seemed pinned to his sides. In agitation? Or maybe in admiration…

Benji stopped for a moment. The redhead freed himself from the spell long enough to caress the face of the man before him. If Miguel was going to say something, he didn't get a chance to; he was cut off as the distance between them closed into a deep, longing kiss. Benji's hands started roaming through Miguel's hair, moving to his lower back to gently cradle him. Miguel, too, pushed himself closer to Benji, wrapping his arms around his rough shoulders.

Miguel looked up at him thorough half-lidded eyes. Benji smiled again. He noticed how calm and relaxed his partner seemed now and decided he would like to keep it that way for a moment.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly. Miguel opened his eyes blearily and nodded, a small smile gracing his kiss-swollen lips. Benji returned the smile before placing a kiss on his lover's forehead.

"I love you," Miguel whispered, curling up next to Benji, burying his face in the crook of the other's neck. Benji smiled and pulled the comforter over them, wrapping them up to sleep.

"I love you, too."

* * *

_Authors' Note 2: Well, that's it. Short chapter. BUT, in order to make up for that, and the general lack of humor in this chapter, we have for you…A SUPER-SPECIAL CODA THINGIE!_

_So…here it is!_

Coda

Karasu sat in the royal bedchamber with a Dell computer in his lap, exploring with the mouse and the keyboard, and grinned. This thing was _awesome…_

"Hmm…YeeTube…sounds interesting…" He clicked on the link and opened the page, studying it. "Let's see…Post Thy Videos Forthwith…" Then he began to browse through the videos, until he found one that piqued his interest. "The king and queen consummate their marriage…" He clicked immediately—and the screen froze up entirely.

Karasu pounded the mattress in frustration. "Stupid dial-up… curses…"

As he was waiting, a small box popped up in the corner of the screen. _Thou hath postage! _Immediately, he went to check his postage.

"What do you _mean_ Huzzah! is down?" he cried out. "Drat! Well, I guess I'll just have to resort to Gander then…"

But once he decided to go to the Gander search engine, he had to choose something to find, so after a moment of intense thought he typed in _The Perfect Prince Karasu._

He was rather insulted when he didn't get many results, but there _was_ one link that looked interesting: _Ye Old Story Hour. Release thy imagination and free thy _soul.

The page was filled with stories, and Karasu started reading the summaries, trying to find something to do with him. He didn't find much, but soon he found something that sounded _very_ interesting.

He opened the story and began to read—and burst into loud, uncontrollable laughter. Without preamble, he opened Huzzah!—it worked this time—and sent the story to his nemeses.

_This_ would teach them to mess with the Almighty Karasu!

XXX

**On the Archangel**

"Hey, what's this?" Miguel asked curiously.

"What?" Benji asked, getting out of the bed to come and peer over his shoulder at the screen.

"Karasu's sent us an e-post…" Miguel replied, opening it curiously. "It has a link…he says it's a really great story…" He clicked the link and started to read. "Hey, the characters have our names…and…wait…"

A second later, Miguel screamed and leapt out of the chair. "Oh, God! Oh, no, no, no…no, that's not…BENJI, THEY MADE ME AND RIN KISS! AND YOU AND…AND…_HIEI!_ I was…I was _straight…_and…you…and _Hiei!_ It burns, it burns, it _burns…_"

XXX

**Back at the Palace**

Karasu cackled insanely as he pictured the gang receiving his e-post, and after his mirth subsided a little he went back to Gander and did another search.

"Hmm…a detailed diagram on how to build an A-bomb for the sole purpose of taking over the world…I wonder…"

XXX

Shura studied his grandfather for a long moment, then said, "You're making this up, aren't you?"

Yomi snapped the book shut and said, "Glad to see the idiot box hasn't completely ruined you."

"Oh, go eat a salad, you manicured old geezer."

* * *

_Authors' Note: We don't own the re-named websites or the motto of FanFiction. That is all._


	10. Belgian Waffles and Situations

Chapter 10

"So…where are we going?" Miguel asked, looking up from the map scrawled across the table.

Benji continued to stare at the map with a very serious expression on his face. "We're here now…" he said, pointing to France.

Miguel sighed and moved his finger to the correct point—the correct point being Tortuga.

Benji ignored this and continued as if Miguel were still listening. "And from there we go Eastish…" **(1)**

"To…Italy…"

"…No…Belgium!"

"Belgium? Why Belgium?"

"Belgian waffles…"

"Benji, we're, if you haven't noticed, still docked in Tortuga. Belgium is waaay over here! That could take months! And we're not stopping anywhere else?"

"Well, I guess…."

"You mean you haven't thought this through?"

"Nope."

"So what are we supposed to do? Sail until we starve?"

"Erm…"

"Benji, you define what it means to be a moron."

"Hey! I know exactly what I'm doing!"

"Then I assume you've given thought to the fact that we might go crazy and have to kill and EAT Simon?"

"That might be unpleasant."

"Or worse."

"What's worse than having to eat Simon?" Benji questioned.

"We might get scurvy!" Miguel explained.

"Eep! Hey…wait…what's scurvy?"

"I don't know, but it sounds bad."

"So…what, then?"

"Let's call a super special meeting of great importance! We shall invite everyone we know!"

"Or we could invite those losers that would still probably follow me even if I were to announce that we were sailing off the edge of the world because there was candy on the other side."

"Those 'losers' _are_ everyone we know, Benny."

"Oh…well, there goes my self-esteem."

XXX

Little did they know that, back in Spain, King Fabio was planning their demise…

But first!

"Sire…our water supply was shut off to keep your 'Slip 'n Slide' wet and I am unable to bathe any of my thirteen children," said Nameless Peasant Number 1.

King Fabio stared past him at the hundreds of citizens just behind him waiting to complain.

Fortunately for him he had a very democratic way to get his frustrations over with.

What did he do, you ask?

Well, he consulted his Ye Olde Magic Ball of Eight.

He shook the magic device and stared down expectantly, ready to read its advice. "…Nay."

"Sir?"

"Nay, peasant! You are never to bathe again!"

"Okay…" the peasant frowned as he was pushed out. Peasant Number 2 moved forward and cleared his throat. "My feet smell!"

Blink. Blink. "Indeed…"

"And I need a new string for my banjo!" shouted the next man.

"…Erm?"

"And a shoe that matches this 'un!" cried a woman.

"I have eleven toes!"

"Can I have fries with that?"

"My wife left me for my neighbor! And she took my dog!"

"I'm emotional!"

"I'm not emotional enough!"

"I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die!"

Suddenly the room erupted into a noise of combined complaints that even the sanest man wouldn't understand. So Fabio did what any self-respecting ruler would do. He hid under his bed.

Fabio turned to the eight ball and sighed. "Will I ever find true love?"

The eight ball's response: "Asketh at a later date."

"Alright. Will I ever be able to eat pie again?"

"Nay…it shall go to thine hips forthwith."

"Boo…um. Do you think my plan of revenge will succeed?"

"In thine dreams."

"So…true love…anything?"

In self-defense, the ball rolled away.

"NOOOO!"

XXX

Miguel actually felt his brain turning into goo. After two straight hours of nonstop yelling and cursing in Spanish, he was finally beginning to understand that he _couldn't_ understand what went through a pirate's mind when he was tired, starving, and/or alcohol deprived.

"We could go to Switzerland and eat chocolate."

"Switzerland is _entirely landlocked_, Benji."

"Landlocked, huh? Whazzat mean?"

"Totally inaccessible by water transport," Erik groaned.

Monroe, who had been mostly keeping to himself, hesitantly raised his hand.

"Yes, Monroe?" Miguel asked with a reassuring smile on his face.

"May I go to the ba—I mean the 'room where legends die'?"

"NO!"

Benji screeched.

"_Shut. Up. Benji! _Yes, Monroe, you may go," the redhead told the now-quivering Monroe.

Like a mouse he scrambled to his feet and scurried away.

"Jeez, Benji…scaring the help is not going to help our cause," Jiro said sympathetically.

"Sorry," Benji sighed, clearly effected by Jiro's tone.

"Benji's trying to regain his self-esteem," Miguel added knowingly.

"Well, when all he has to hang around with is you lot, our good ol' captain here should just kiss his dignity and self-esteem goodbye," drawled a familiar stone-cold voice.

Everyone turned to see Simon standing by the doorway. None of them were really surprised; he would, after all, have found some way to eventually slither into their lives.

"Oh, joy," Rin said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "How'd you even get in here?"

The dark-eyed man smirked, dragging Monroe into the galley by his shirt collar. "Thank whiskers here…a mouse will always lead you through the sewers."

Monroe shrugged, probably too used to the abuse and nicknames of his previous crew. "Sorry, Benji."

And with that Simon pushed Monroe so he would fall to his hands and knees, stepped over him, and continued walking to the table. He saw down and leaned back. "So this is what the grown-up table feels like? What a letdown…"

"Really, Simon?" Benji sighed, mildly disgusted. "Picking on the weakest member of the crew. No offense, Monroe," he added.

"None taken," Monroe, who was now back at the table next to Jiro—because he was big and intimidating—piped.

"I mean, _that_ is low."

"Aww, don't make me feel all bad. I didn't know he was the weakest. I always pegged Erik as the lowest of your standards."

Erik, already far too re-accustomed to this abuse to outwardly acknowledge it, nevertheless averted his eyes to the tabletop. The next moment, however, he smiled slightly as Jiro pulled him close and squeezed his hand under the table.

Failing to notice that the rest of the crew was looking at him with something remarkably like hatred, Simon took a swig from the flask that seemed to be permanently attached to his hand and asked, "So what're we talking about, ladies? And Rin?"

Benji gave Simon one last, withering look and turned back to the map that was spread across the table in front of him. "What about Britain?"

"You're wanted in Britain, remember?" Erik reminded him helpfully.

"Damn. Okay…France?"

"Ugh, please, _never_ again," Rin interjected emphatically.

"Yeah, I gotta go with Rin on that one," Miguel agreed.

Benji growled. "Et tu, Brutus?" Then he looked down at the map and brightened. "I still say we go to Belgium."

"What the hell is in Belgium?" Jiro inquired.

Benji looked at the chaplain as though he were a bit stupid. "Um…waffles? Duh?"

"Waffles?!" Rin chirped. "I say let's go!"

"…Yeah, great as _that_ sounds," Simon said, making his opinions known with a less-than-subtle hint of sarcasm in his voice, "how about something…a _little_ more reasonable?"

"Oooh! Cuba!" Miguel clapped his hands enthusiastically, then frowned as the entire crew groaned in response. "…What?"

"What about Spain?" Simon said loudly, as though speaking slowly and deliberately at the top of his lungs would make them stop looking at him as if he were slime on the bottom of Berkley's toe.

This was greeted with a very long and confused silence.

"You are an idiot," Benji said dismissively as he began carving a heart with he and Miguel's initials in it into the tabletop with his knife.

"Hold on, Benji…" Miguel cut in, studying the map intently. "He might have a point…"

Benji glared at the redhead. "You are dead to me."

"No, think about it. You were saying a few days ago that you wanted to go to Italy sometime. I've always wanted to go to Greece, and Erik said something about refusing to die before he sees the Pyramids. Spain would be a good pit stop before all that—we could get some supplies and repairs cheap there, and then move on to the Mediterranean. It makes sense."

The rest of the crew nodded in reluctant approval of this logic.

Benji was very clearly ready to kill, but as usual, he couldn't refuse Miguel. "…Fine. But I don't like it." And with that, he rolled up his map and left without another word to set a course for Spain.

XXX

When Miguel finally found Benji, the pirate captain had wandered up to the crow's nest and was stewing in silence. He was so caught up in his fuming that he didn't notice or acknowledge the redhead's presence until a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind. Miguel turned his head so that his cheek rested against Benji's back and after a long silence asked quietly, "You okay?"

Benji sighed heavily. "I hate him."

Miguel smiled slightly. "We all do."

"Erik doesn't."

The redhead snorted. "Don't be so sure."

Benji chuckled in spite of himself, turning to pull Miguel into a hug. "I'm fine," he said after a moment, releasing his lover.

Miguel studied his face for a moment, then rose on tiptoe to plant a kiss on his cheek. Taking Benji's hand and tugging on it, the redhead said, "C'mon, let's go to bed."

"And…what are we going to do in bed?" Benji asked, his eyes twinkling.

"Well, I don't know about _you, _but _I'm_ going to take a nap."

"Aww, Miguel…"

Miguel laughed. "Tell you what. Race me back to the cabin. You beat me, and…maybe I'll give you something."

He started to lean up for a kiss…and was shoved rather rudely aside as Benji made an eager dash for the ladder, loud laughter following him as the redhead took off after him.

XXX

**Li's Apartment: 12:09 P.M.**

Ava: **sipping coffee** Should we wake her?

Adara: **lowers newspaper** Eh…it's quiet.

Ava: Bonus!

Li: **shuffles in with bed head, hugging Rico **Wha' time is it?

Adara: Twelve ten….

Li: In the afternoon?

Ava: Yep.

Li: **eye twitches **WHAT THE F—

**Movie Set**

Benji: **sighs** Miguel, could you hurry, please?

Miguel: **glares** Hey, I'm doing you a _favor! _And it's not as easy as it looks!

Benji: **shifty eyes** Sorry. I just don't want anyone to see _this!_

Miguel: Well, Benji, it's not my fault you can't do this by yourself.

Benji: But if I did I couldn't ask you to do it for me.

Miguel: You're hopeless.

Rin: Dirty! **Listening outside their trailer**

Erik: What are you doing?

Rin: Nothing! **Scurries away**

Erik: Eh? Benji? **opens the door** What the hell?

Miguel: There…all done!

Erik: Benji…that's pathetic. You can't tie your own shoes?!

Rin: **distant scream **Aw, c'mon!

Miguel: **drops hairbrush **What?

Erik: Don't ask.

Miguel: **fishes cell phone out of his pocket** No, my cell is vibrating. Erm, hello?

(Loud Female Voice): Miguel! Thank God!

Miguel: Li?

(Li): Yes! Who else calls you?

Miguel: Lotsa people…

(Li): Hmm…don't care. Anyways, my so-called friends didn't wake me this morning—

(Ava): We tried!

(Adara): But with all the snoring—

(Li): I do NOT snore!

(Adara): You don't know that…

(Ava): Stop looking at her! Keep your eyes on the road!

(Adara): Die!

(Li): I'm firing you if we die!

Miguel: Erm…

(Li): I Mapquested **(2)** directions to the set and apparently Mapquest is shorthand for fail.

Miguel: **sighs** Where are you?

(Li): No idea…

(Ava): Oooh!

(Li): What?!

(Ava): We were supposed to turn _left_ at the Pants Mailbox..

(Adara): Nooo! That was half an hour ago…

(Li): Holy crap! How long is this road?!

(Ava): Um…Li…? **Looks toward the heavens **I know how long this road is…

(Li): Huh?

(Adara): How'd we get on Route 66?!

(Li): O…M…G…UE! UE! Pull a UEEEEE!!

(Ava): Dude, has anyone seen my spleen?

Miguel: **hangs up**

Benji: Who was that?

Miguel: **puts down phone** Well…

Phone: **vibrates**

Miguel: **whimpers** When she calls she's always angry…

Benji: She is Li. Hrm, I can fix this…hey, Simon!

Simon: What? **Withering stare**

Benji: Phone for you. **hands phone to Simon**

Simon: **shocked that anyone would **_**want**_** to talk to him** Hello?

(Li): **incoherent screaming**

Simon: **extreme shock**

Rin awoke in the galley the following morning, face-planted in last night's triple chocolate sundae, no less.

"Oh, yeah…I'm _not_," she chided herself, wiping the drool from the corner of her mouth.

"Oh, jeez! Holy hell, woman, don't you have a cabin or something?" Simon groaned as he walked in.

"So do you! Why don't you just stay there?"

The dark-eyed man smirked, "Dying to know, are we?"

"No! God, no!"

"This is why I _never_ stick around to actually look at a woman in the morning…"

"_That_ is disgusting!"

"What? I'm disgusting because I like to think women wake up beautiful, or that you're an exception to the rule? Where's the coffee?"

"…Right there and I hate you."

"If I only had a woman for every time I hear that…oh, wait—"

"Say one more crude thing and I will kill you."

"Without showing the slightest emotion, Simon poured some coffee. "Ya know, if I turned off the lights, stood _far_ away, closing one eye and squinting the other…maybe tilting my head to the side…you're not horrible to look at."

"A heartfelt compliment. Sailor, take me away," Rin said flatly.

Suddenly Simon smiled. A real smile? He even laughed a little bit.

Rin looked in her sundae. _Can you spike ice cream?_

"Here, drink this. You look like you could use a pick-me-up," Simon said generously, setting a cup of coffee in front of Rin.

"Stop it!"

"Stop what?"

"Being weird…wait! You're flirting with me."

Silence.

"You think I'm sexy!"

"I really don't."

"You want to…kiss me!"

"…Please…"

"Well, obviously."

"Well, you don't utterly repulse me, I'll give you that."

Rin smiled. "And you…don't repulse me. Actually…no. Never mind."

"What?"

"I suppose you're the kinda guy I should stay away from."

"I am."

"Yes. You are. You are the most horrible and vulgar man I've ever met."

"Honey, I've seen the guys you hand out with. I'm the _only_ man you've ever met."

_SLAP!_

And with that Rin was out the door—then right back in it to yell, "That means _no, _by the way!"

And then back out again.

Simon shrugged and began drinking his coffee. _Oh, goody, I like a challenge…_

* * *

_**(1) **Eastish: a general eastward direction_

_**(2) **Mapquest: It's a verb now! Isn't that cool?_

_Authors' Note: Our typist is tired. A cat has been sitting on her arm and/or her face all night, including while she typed this chapter. She is too exhausted to write anything else for an author's note._

_But we'd all like it if you reviewed!_


	11. Boyfriends Are Sleepy and Simon Is Lame

Chapter 11

Benji was certain there had never been a time—indeed, there _was_ no time in recent history—when he had hated his life as much as he did at this moment.

"I DIDN'T DO IT THIS TIME, I SWEAR!"

The crew sighed collectively—as had become their habit upon hearing these familiar words—and set about finding out how to best handle the situation.

"Honestly…sometimes I do wonder what it is I see in you," Miguel continued in a seemingly bored tone. "Checkmate, Benji."

Benji stared out at the sea as the _Archangel_ began to take on more water. "Maybe it's because of my good looks and impeccable charm…"

The redhead raised his eyes from his task of resetting the chessboard. "Can you _define_ impeccable? Or perhaps…spell it?"

Benji gasped, deeply chagrined. "Of course I can't, but then again, are you really surprised?"

"No…heck."

"What? How? Damn!"

"Uh…" Simon said, appearing suddenly. "We're sinking."

Benji shrugged, not bothering to take his eyes off the board. "You're worried?"

"Yeah, a little bit," the newcomer said.

"What can I do with the horse guy?" Benji asked Miguel, who looked a little tired.

Rin walked up to the group, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Who'd you piss off now, Benji? Isn't it a little too early in the morning to be sinking?"

"Yep, we're ahead of schedule," Benji proclaimed gleefully.

"Wait. You can't be telling me this is normal," Simon asked, his eyes very close to bugging out.

"Yes, Princess. The ship is sinking and we are all likely to drown in the end," Benji groaned. "Now sit down and shut up."

"Your lackeys may listen to you, Benny-boy, but I don't take orders and today isn't going to be the day I start."

Benji just smirked and continued playing chess. "Okay, Simon…"

With that last sentiment, Simon stalked off with the air of "moody cloud" **(1)** surrounding him.

"Well, that was fun."

Miguel nodded. "Should we maybe try to land before we drown completely dead?"

"Yeah, I saw a little island just off the coast. Monroe already set a course for it. I just like seeing Simon freak out."

"Ah…"

"Checkmate, Miguel."

"No, you didn't, Benji…you can't claim checkmate with a checker."

"Oh…king me, then."

Sigh.

XXX

Erik sighed regretfully as he finally began to lose his hold on sleep, and he buried his face in the pillow as he tried to get it back. Then he heard a deep chuckle above him and a hand was attempting to roll him over. Erik just smiled and turned over to bury his face in Jiro's chest. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Don't ask."

The doctor groaned. "Benji's gonna kill me."

Jiro smiled slightly and brushed a lock of hair off of his love's forehead. "You needed rest. You haven't gotten much sine…"

Erik averted his eyes. "Yeah," he muttered, the word coming out as something between a grunt and a whisper.

"Anyway," Jiro continued quickly. "I'm hungry. You want to go get some food?"

"Um…no. I'm not hungry. And I should…stay here, and organize my…"

Jiro silenced him with a kiss. "You don't have to make excuses, Sunshine. I'll bring something back, okay?"

Erik looked confused. "Sunshine?"

The chaplain suddenly looked embarrassed. "Yeah, it's…well, I've been calling you that in my head for a long time now. Ever since the first time I saw you smile…the first time I heard you laugh." He smiled and reached out to play with a lock of Erik's hair. "Y'know, they say it's bad for your eyes, looking directly into the sun. But I can't seem to stop looking."

The doctor smiled. "That is…_so _unbelievably corny." Then he reached up to take the hand that was playing with his hair. "I would throw up if I wasn't too busy loving every word."

Then they were kissing again, and neither had any idea who made the first move. It ended slowly and rather reluctantly, and a long, contented silence followed as Erik cuddled against Jiro's chest.

"Okay, I really am going for food now," Jiro said, breaking the silence and shoving Erik off him so that he could stand.

Erik chuckled in amusement. "Ever the romantic."

XXX

**The Location: A Diner On A Road**

Ava: So…which car is yours?

Li: That one? **Points to random car**

Adara: **clicks unlock button **Well, it's unlocked so it must be, right?

Li: Yeah. **gets into back seat**

Ava: **shuffling through papers in the passengers' seat** Hey, Li, have you always had this handicap sign?

Li: What are you trying to say?

Ava: There was a handicap sign in your glove compartment.

Li: Not mine.

Adara: Then whose is it?

**Meanwhile, Back In The Diner**

Old Woman: Hey, Ed, someone broke into our car…

Ed: Quiet, Gertrude. I'm tryin' to watch the game.

**Meanwhile, In The Car**

Li: RUN FOR IT!

XXX

It had been almost a month since their last excursion with Benji and Hiei had done his best to focus on something other than following the _Archangel_.

He was failing miserably.

Kurama, who had been keeping look-out, was now trying his hardest to prevent Hiei from going off course as well. "You care too much."

"I don't care at all," Hiei replied sourly.

"Well, it's either that or your steering has suffered," Kurama observed. "Hiei, we're going to Taiwan."

"Yes, and?"

"Taiwan is in an entirely different direction…" the redhead sighed.

"I know a shortcut," the captain muttered in between steering.

"There's no shortcut from Spain to Taiwan. You can't condense the ocean. Anyways, we're off course."

"I'm going to Spain," Hiei growled.

"Don't make me come down there."

"Bite me."

"…Can I, at least, steer for awhile?"

"_Women don't get to steer!"_

"That is it! I'm coming down! And I'm going to rip off your head, take pictures with it, and have a good long laugh before I chuck it into the North Atlantic Sea!" Kurama shouted as he made his way to the deck.

Blink. Blink.

"A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend, Kurama."

"Neither is a woman on her period."

"Um?"

"But I am not a woman!"

"So you only fantasize?"

"Do you have _any_ idea how close you are to sleeping outside tonight?"

"You're pretty."

Growl.

"And. I love you."

"Hmm, somehow I can't stay mad at you," Kurama said, his scowl magically transforming into a smile as he wrapped his arms around his lover's chest.

Hiei lowered his head to kiss Kurama's arm. "Because…I am the best."

The redhead chuckled. "Oh?"

"And…I don't think anyone else deserves me."

"How is it that _I_ deserve you exactly?"

"Because I said so. Therefore it must be true."

"Honey, you're not making any sense."

"Does anything make sense when you're in love?"

"Nope," the first mate laughed and kissed Hiei's cheek.

After another moment, though, Kurama pulled away. "So what's the bottom line here?"

Hiei looked out over the water for a second, then said, "We're following Benji."

"No, we're not!"

"_Yes, we are!_ 'Cause I'm in charge!"

"What happened to _equal partnership_, huh?!"

"It _is_ equal, but this time I'm right."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"And here we are again!"

"Damn it…we're never gonna figure this out."

XXX

Ava: **singing** On the road again…

Adara: Guys…something wrong…

Li: Are we lost?

Adara: No, the car won't start.

Li: All right, let's check under the hood!

Ava: Do you even _know_ what's _under_ the hood?

Li: We're about to find out.

**The girls get out of the car at once and lose their doors. Incidentally, that is when the car takes off at a high speed, leaving them stranded in the an almost-desert.**

Ava: Drat.

Li: Where are we, dare I ask?

Adara: **sounding worried** We're in C_ape Girardeau._

**Everyone sobs and shakes in terror as two gorgeous men driving a '67 Chevy Impala** stop

Sam Winchester: You guys need a ride?

Adara: **gasps for air**

Li: No, thanks! We're good!

**Boyz shrug and drive away.**

Ava and Adara: LILLIA EMBERLIN CELESTIA!

Li: **shocked** Mother?

Adara: We are stranded in the a desert-like area, our car has supernatural abilities and left us for dead, and Cape Girardeau equals _doom._ We could have used the ride.

Li: Oh, I forgot…

Ava: _How?!_

Li: Don't worry…someone will stop.

Adara: **about to strangle Li** When?!

Li: Any minute now…

**Three Hours Later**

Li: Any minute now?

**The girls are now sporting long, white beards.**

Li: **draws breath**

Ava: Don't!

Li: We could walk.

Adara: Or…

**A gigantahugamongous truck with no driver speeds toward them. Its bumper reads: "No break for directors and crew.**

Adara: …RUUUUN!

Li: The automobiles are possessed!

XXX

Rin had met plenty of men she couldn't stand, but none had been worse than Simon. She pouted and crossed her arms. She really felt like torturing him. The evil and sadistic part of her was already plotting and luckily for her Simon was in the galley. With the addition of Benji and Miguel, but she didn't think they'd protest.

"Would you put your eyes back in your head, woman?" Simon muttered in between taking drags from his cigarette.

"What are you going on about?"

"I know you like me."

"Why, Simon... you're so funny. Have you ever considered _getting out of my face?__!"_

"Ya know, if you want to kiss me all ya have ta do is ask..."

"You vile... disgusting-" Rin said, waving her arms expansively, simultaneously sending her mug onto the floor. "Crap." She then got out of her chair and knelt on the floor to crawl under the table.

She stopped and smiled as the opportunity for revenge quickly unraveled. Under the guise of retrieving her mug, she reached over to Simon's leg, wrapped her hand firmly around several of the hairs there, and yanked viciously.

Simon jumped, and screamed like a woman being attacked by a vampire. "YOOOOOOW!!"

Rin collapsed with laughter, and above her, Benji and Miguel did the same.

Simon scowled, and kicked Rin under the table. "I really hate you..."

"Really? 'Cause I love you," Rin said feigning innocence. Getting up from the table, she went to sit next to Simon. "Why are you always so... prickly? Does your tummy hurt?" she said, poking him in the shoulder.

Simon glared at Rin. "Die."

In retaliation, Rin poked him again.

"Girl, you touch me with that finger again, you're gonna wake up tomorrow in a body bag."

Rin smirked and suddenly tackled Simon to the ground, in his shock she was able to grab a rope, and begin tying him to a pole.

"Ow."

"Suck it up."

"Ow."

"Live with it."

"Ow."

"You deserve it."

"I hate you."

"And I just adore you."

"OW!"

Benji leaned closer to Miguel, arms folded as he watched Rin's game. "Should we... I dunno... intervene?" he whispered.

"...Nah, I think Rin's doing okay," Miguel whispered back.

Rin pulled out a giant chunk of Simon's leg hair, as opposed to the single ones she had been pulling before.

"OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!! DAMN IT, WOMAN!!"

Rin chuckled evilly, then stood. "My work here is done."

Benji saluted. "Well, then, you're free to go."

"Aye, aye, captain."

Benji and Miguel followed Rin out, and Simon blinked. "Er... guys? Are you gonna... untie me?"

Rin, the last in the doorway, considered for a moment. "Nope. You're going to be the ritual sacrifice to our heathen God. Do you wanna know how you got elected?"

"I hate you... you are a truly evil being..."

"Aww, don't try to butter me up now. We wouldn't leave you completely stranded..." Reaching into her pocket. She took out a knife. "I'm sure you can figure out how to use this knife if I put it... all the way over here..." And with that, she placed the knife just out of his reach and patted him on the back. "So buck up, private."

"Aww, come on, now..."

"Fear not, my friend. All hope is not lost. Maybe you can get Berkeley to let you go." Then she opened the door, jumped to the side and out onto the deck, and slammed the door shut just as a giant shape hurled itself through the doorway.

"BOOOOOOYYYYY!!"

XXX

The sun was setting off the coast, and anyone with someone worth having was watching it.

Jiro and Erik were settled next to the railing, just enjoying each other's company as they watched the colors of the sky meld harmoniously.

Benji had passed his shift as the lookout to a very reluctant Monroe. He was now helping Miguel steer, as the tiny Spaniard was nodding off at random points and wouldn't go to bed.

The alabaster-haired man wrapped his hands around Miguel's smaller ones. The sleepy man was resting his head against Benji's chest, idly whispering things in his half sleep. There's a hole…in the boat. I have to tell you that."

"Okay, love."

"There's a hole in the boat."

"Don't worry. I'm fixing it."

"Should I get the peanut butter?"

"Peanut butter is a terrible thing to waste."

"Mmm. How'd I get here?"

"Well…I suppose when your mommy and daddy got married they decided to—"

"No, how did I end up _here?"_

"Well, about a year ago we decided to—"

"I hate you…"

"Just watch the sunset, hon."

"But really…how'd I get here?"

"Now we're back to square one."

"Mmph." Miguel's eyes had long since fallen closed.

"Miguel?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you falling asleep?"

"Nooo…"

"Miguel?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"Mmph. Shh. The wheel is trying to sleep."

Benji smiled and shook his head in amusement. "Well, then, we'd better leave the wheel alone. C'mon."

And before Miguel could protest, he was being listed into his lover's arms and carted off to God-knows-where. "Where we goin'?"

"The moon."

"Really?"

"Yes, Miguel."

"Can I come?"

Benji lowered the redhead onto the bed and started to pull his shoes off. "We'll talk about it later."

"Mmm…'kay. Do you think the man would like me?" Miguel's words were becoming slurred.

"What man?" As he spoke, Benji placed Miguel's shoes by the side of the bed.

"The man in the _moon_, silly."

Benji chuckled. "Goodnight, Miguel."

"Night…"

XXX

With Jiro off in the galley trying to out-drink Rin and all the books in his cabin read and reread, Erik was finally forced out into the daylight. He knew that once he went to the galley he would be forced into the consumption of food, so the doctor instead chose to watch the horizon and pretend he hadn't already missed the sunset.

"Well, if it isn't my fairytale brethren from the days of yore."

Erik closed his eyes, panicking a little on the inside. He didn't bother to turn around, just asked quietly, "What do you want?"

Simon chuckled. "Aww, c'mon, Princess, don't say that."

Silence.

Another chuckle, and then Simon came to join him at the rail. "You know you missed the sunset, don't you?"

Erik suddenly spun to look at him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Simon blinked. "Behold the queen of the subtle transition."

"Just tell me. You ran me off and you never made _any_ effort to find me again, and now you're on my best friend's ship and you're still acting like you don't care whether I live or die—"

"Maybe I don't." But Erik couldn't help thinking that Simon didn't quite meet his eyes when he said that.

"So go home."

For some reason, Simon laughed bitterly at that.

Erik frowned and turned back to the sea. "Just tell me. What are you doing here?"

"…I thought it was obvious."

The doctor blinked and turned to find Simon looking at him with an honest, piercing, unwavering gaze. It was a look that aged him and, at the same time, made him appear ten years younger in terms of cynicism. Erik's eyes widened. _Maybe, just maybe…_

Then, suddenly, Simon was laughing, and the sound had an unmistakably cruel quality. "Damn, you're still so gullible. That never gets old."

Erik turned quickly away again and just managed to keep the tears from spilling over. The last thing he wanted was to let Simon see him cry again…so he simply stood there—afraid to speak for fear of the words coming out choked, afraid not to because silence would mean victory for Simon.

Then Erik was being turned around and a familiar pair of lips was pressed to his. The doctor leaned with relief into Jiro's hold and kissed back happily, ignoring the blush he could feel creeping up. When the kiss ended, he wrapped his arms around the chaplain's waist and buried his face in the strong chest.

Jiro turned his head to look at Simon, a trace of a challenge in his gaze. _Walk away, and I'll let you keep your important bits._

Simon smirked, but said nothing and, after a moment, walked slowly away.

* * *

**(1) **Moody Cloud is now a main character. _Very important!_

* * *

_Authors' Note: So, in conclusion, Jiro rocks and Simon sucks. We have nothing to add except the patented plea for reviews. _


	12. Our Salt Has Been Rocked

Chapter 12

The captain stirred as the sunlight crawled across the cabin. Benji rolled to his side to stare out the window, the warmth of the sun gently grazing his skin.

He smiled down at his partner, still fast asleep. Seeing the pale glow of Miguel bare shoulders, Benji automatically began caressing them.

The redhead began to blink slowly as he awoke. "...Benji?"

"Mmm...?"

"Stop hogging all the covers..." he pouted, tugging on the blanket they shared.

Benji chuckled. "Hey, Miguel, why didn't you tell me that we were flooding?"

Miguel woke up immediately. "But I... I didn't? But someone must have! I didn't, but someone.... Erik? Rin? No one told you, but I... We're flooding... there. I told you. Now you know." Then he sank back into the bed without another word.

"Oh, no you don't." Benji smiled, poking Miguel several times. "If I let you sleep in everyone's going to think I'm playing favorites. I can't have that."

"Mmmm... Deal with it, because I'm not moving..."

"That's what you think!" the captain shouted as he scooped Miguel off the bed, bridal style.

"Nooo... Bed... and blankie... and sleeeeeep... Bennnjiiiii!!!"

"You're cute, but it won't work."

"Pwease... I wuv you..." Miguel pouted as he nuzzled closer to the captain's neck. "And if you let me go back to sleep..." he added provocatively as he nibbled Benji's ear, "I'll owe you..."

"Using sex as a weapon would usually work, but not today."

Miguel looked around desperately. "I think I'm... gonna... sneeze," he said, taking a deep breath, raising a hand to cover his nose.

"Give it up! There is no way you're getting to sleep in."

"I hid every single drop of alcohol we have left and if you don't let me get back in that bed, I will withhold the whereabouts..."

"NO! You wouldn't!"

"Oh? Wouldn't I?"

Benji grimaced. "Do you really want to threaten a guy who could drop your bum in the ocean and leave you for dead?"

"Do you really want to threaten someone who may or may not have thrown all of the booze overboard? Ask yourself... 'Am I feeling lucky?' Well? Do ya? Punk."

"Errr..."

XXX

There was a sea, and in the sea was a raft, and tied to the raft was an old woman cursing a blue streak. Now, why this streak was blue, and not red or green or yellow, no one can say, but the fact was that the streak was blue, and the curses were loud and decidedly unladylike.

Meanwhile, circling around the raft were many large gray sharks. They were staring, puzzled, at the woman as she threatened them and the rest of the general world with the only weapon she had–her feet. They were the only part of her not firmly lashed, and she waved them back and forth threateningly so that the sharks could only stare and wish they were not so afraid of toes.

"YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU STAY BACK, NOW! UNLESS YOU WANT TO JOIN MY ARMY YOU WILL BACK THE HELL OFF _RIGHT NOW_, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"

One of the sharks nodded slowly, trying to seem pacifistic. The woman must have been satisfied, for the topic of her rant took on an entirely new turn.

"I CANNOT _BELIEVE_ HIM! HE THREW ME IN THE OCEAN! _ME!_ KEIKO, SLAYER OF NEWTS, QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE, AND TERROR OF SANE MEN EVERYWHERE! AND HE HAS THE NERVE TO _TIE ME TO A BUNCH OF WOOD AND FLOAT ME OUT TO SEA! _AND FOR WHAT?! ALL I DID WAS THROW OUT THOSE STUPID BASEBALL CARDS...USELESS THINGS...'BUT THEY'LL BE WORTH A FORTUNE SOMEDAY,' HE SAYS. WELL, WHEN THAT DAY COMES I WILL RENOUNCE NEWT EATING FOR ALL ETERNITY, THAT'S WHAT'LL HAPPEN!_"_

The sharks nodded politely, their eyes fixed firmly on the terrifying toes.

If Keiko even noticed that her audience hadn't left, she didn't let on.

XXX

"GOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!!!"

Erik shot up in bed. "Dear God almighty, Mister Murkle!"

Jiro blinked sleepily as he sat up. "Huh?"

In spite of himself, Erik smiled. "We'll be out in a minute, Benji!" he called, before looking down at Jiro, who had flopped back down onto the bed and pulled his pillow over his own head. The picture was so completely adorable, and if there had been any remaining irritation about Simon and the night before, it was banished by the sight. His smile growing to an all-out grin, he pulled the pillow gently out of Jiro's arms and quickly slid into its former place.

"You're so cute," he teased, pinching the chaplain's cheek.

Jiro ignored this. "How are you feeling?" he asked, arms immediately tightening around Erik. "Better?"

"Much better," Erik replied, pressing a kiss to the top of Jiro's head. "I had something nice to wake up to."

Jiro wrinkled his nose. "What, Benji screaming at us about a nation with a desolate and war-torn future?"

Erik blinked. "No, silly! I'm _trying_ to be romantic..."

Smiling, Jiro pulled Erik into a proper kiss that left the doctor's eyes glazed over and a dopey smile on his face. "Well, you suck at it." Then, laughing loudly, he ducked the pillow that Erik swung at his head and leapt off the bed. "C'mon, I'm hungry."

"But I wanna cuddle," Erik protested, grabbing his boyfriend by the waist and yanking him back onto the bed and into his arms.

"...Don't care. Hungry."

Erik laughed, and let Jiro go this time. "_Now_ who sucks?"

Jiro blinked at him, clearly deciding whether he should take this very obvious opening. "Well, Erik, if you would only _let_ me..." He didn't quite manage to dodge the pillow this time, and instead of trying he simply pounced on Erik, who let out a squeal of laughter. They had only just managed to begin their game when...

"Yes, everybody loves everybody, the world is a happy butterfly, now get out of the freaking bed!"

Erik chuckled at this unhappy outburst from the doorway. "Yes, Ben. We're going, Ben."

Then he rolled out of bed to get dressed and followed Jiro out of the cabin.

XXX

"AND I HAVEN'T EVEN _TOLD_ YOU ABOUT THE TIME THAT HE ATE MY NEWTS! NOW, I THINK YOU'LL AGREE THAT OUT OF ALL THE UNFORGIVABLE THINGS I'VE TOLD YOU, THAT IS THE _WORST!_ TO STEAL A WOMAN'S NEWTS IS JUST...JUST _WRONG!_ CERTAINLY IT WAS THE MOST UNJUSTIFIABLE THING HE'S EVER DONE BEFORE HE _THREW ME INTO THE SEA!_ I CAN'T EVEN...hey, what's that?"

"That" turned out to be...quite a lot of sand.

And the sand turned out to belong to...an island.

A rather large island, with beaches and rocks and trees and...no sound whatsoever?

Keiko looked around from where she was tied to the raft, not noticing her captive audience's relieved scrambles for deeper waters.

It took her exactly two minutes to decide that this was quite the most _boring_ desert island she'd ever been stranded on. Really. Where were the deadly poisonous snakes? The mushrooms that if you ate them you'd die? Where were the native people wearing grass and speaking random other languages coming to hold her captive, for heaven's sake?

Yes, this island really was just a shame to desert isles everywhere, Keiko decided.

And then the bushes moved as several clicks sounded from inside of them, and Keiko couldn't have been more delighted.

"Well, it certainly _took_ you long enough! Where have you _been?_ I've been tied up here, completely helpless, for _minutes_ now, and you didn't even come to eat me! What kind of sorry excuse for a scary island thing _are_ you, anyway?"

The bushes stopped rustling, and Keiko, reflecting that she might scare it away, whatever it was, and therefore keep it from fulfilling its destiny as her captor, quieted down.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to criticize your work. I'm sure you know your job better than I do. I'll be quiet now and let you get on with it."

With that, Keiko fell silent, waiting–fairly patiently, for her–for the thing to do something.

After a while, a man stepped from the trees, and then another, and another, until there were about ten, all ringed around her.

Keiko looked up them all, and despite her promise, she just had to ask.

"Hey, got any newts?"

XXX

Walking out of her room, Rin headed toward the galley to see if Simon made it out. Walking in, she sighed. It had seemed the little weasel got cut loose. However, the knife was still exactly where she had left it. Walking over, she grabbed it.

Moments later Simon appeared in the galley, without one word to Rin. Much to her annoyance she marched over to the table he was sitting. Grimacing, she plunged the knife into said table, a mere inch from said Simon's hand.

"CRAP!" he yelled recoiling. "DAMN IT, CAVEWOMAN! WHAT IS YOUR BEEF??" he screamed.

"Beef? I don't have beef. I've got a Winchester pocket knife. But no beef," she said feigning perfect innocence. Walking to the kitchen, she grabbed a cup of coffee, and sat down opposite Simon, drinking deeply. In between gulps, she said "Y'know, you deserved it," she said. "What has Erik ever done to you, man?"

Simon grunted.

"Well, whatever he did, I guarantee that doesn't justify the way you treat him."

Hearing a big sigh from Simon, she could tell that she was getting to him. "What was that?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said.

"Whatever floats your boat. Just apologize, though. C'mon. You can't be that heartless..."

Simon didn't say anything.

Heaving a sigh, Rin drank some more coffee. _Then again... _

Sitting in the galley with Simon was bad enough, Rin thought as she looked out the porthole. _Where is everybody else? _

Just then Benji, Erik, and Jiro walked in. "Speak of the devil. What up, boys?"

Receiving some very disgruntled _I'm-awake-out-of-bed-what-more-do-you-want_ looks, she gulped down the remainder of her coffee.

Jiro carefully avoided looking at Simon, and dropped into a chair, pulling Erik down with him and resting against his shoulder. Erik blinked, then smiled and pressed a kiss to Jiro's head.

As long as Jiro was there, Erik thought, he could deal with Simon's existence on the ship. He didn't want to become dependant on Jiro's protection though. He only wished that Jiro didn't get tired of defending him all the time. And if he did, well... Erik would rather just go on hoping...

An awkward silence fell then, as they all turned to look at Simon, who was steadfastly ignoring them as he smoked a cigarette. After several quiet, uneasy moments, movement began in the galley as the group dispersed. Benji quickly made coffee, Rin started to make a fresh batch of coffee, and Erik, Jiro, and Simon remained where they were.

Simon growled, grinding his cigarette into the table, and left the room.

Rin blinked. "Somebody's cwanky..."

XXX

**On That Godforsaken Rowboat of Chapters Before**

"I leave you alone for one minute. How is it in that one minute you manage to level an entire island? Hmm?"

"I said I was sorry. _Twice!_ Besides, if I remember correctly, it was you that started that fight with that islander."

"What? No, I didn't."

"No, I remember. He was all like 'Hey, you have funny hair.' And you were like 'Hey, you look pretty funny too, but that's probably because I stabbed you in the face!' His girlfriend wasn't too happy 'bout it either."

"That never happened."

"You're just mad because the guy's girlfriend moved on rather quickly. And, well, I don't know why, but... she did mention I was looking pretty good."

"No, she didn't. I believe what she said was-"

"Ah-ha! So you admit there was a girl! I knew you were jealous."

"Fine! I'm jealous. Maybe I wouldn't be if you didn't flirt back."

"I didn't flirt back. I was just being sympathetic, I mean, she just lost her boyfriend and all. I didn't want to crush her."

"So you decided to _kiss_ her!?"

"It was an accident!"

"Oh, what? You accidentally leaned forward and her lips just happened to be there?"

"Well, yeah."

"You are unbelievable!"

"And you are blowing this way out of proportion. You kiss waaaay better than her anyways."

"That's it! I'm going to end you. And I will make it look like an accident!"

"How!?

" You fell and my ice sword _broke_ your fall. So no fingerprints, it's the perfect crime."

"Bitch!"

"Moron!"

Silence.

"I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have got jealous."

"I shouldn't have kissed that girl."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"And I'm sorry about that guy in Barcelona..."

"In... Barcelona...? Oh, you f-"

XXX

**The ArchAngel **

When Miguel finally decided it was time to join the living, he immediately had to rally the troops. It took a long while to get his fellow shipmates to get together in the hopes of putting some kind of halt in their imminent doom.

Erik and Jiro had been put to the task of tying everything down, if it could be tied down, or if it was worth tying down. In retrospect they weren't doing anything to help.

They all came to a general consensus that Rin was the best at keeping Simon busy. She'd been doing this particular assignment for so long that she respectfully named it "Simon Watch" so is wouldn't become dull, or if possible more demeaning.

As for Benji and Miguel, they had the _ever-so-awesome_ task of trying to keep the brig from flooding, or rather stop it from spreading.

Unfortunately for the dynamic duo it was the latter. The water had come up to the mid-section of the room.

"Well..." Benji sighed. "We're screwed, who want's pie?"

"Benji... there's something down there..." Miguel whispered.

"What'd you mean?"

"It's... moving..."

"Miguel, that's just Berkeley."

"How can you tell?"

"Can you think of any other creature that would be swimming around in our brig? Or anything that glows in the dark, for that matter?"

"...No..."

Suddenly the beast burst forth from the water with a greeting in the form of "Hugglemuffins!" and then dove back into the water from whence it came.

"Eep!" Miguel yelped, jumping into Benji's arms.

After that rather abrupt introduction Berkeley came back in a more subtle way. His head poked out of the water and he extended his hand to offer Benji a snorkel.

Benji accepted the breathing device warily. "What are you? Part fish?"

"It's still under debate..." Berkeley replied in a hushed tone, eyes widening with excitement. "It certainly would explain the scales developing underneath my toes."

"That's fascinating..." the captain said, his eye twitching visibly.

"And you know what else?"

"No, I don't know, but I do not _wish_ to know so let's just leave that one alone."

"Okay, Hugglemuffins!" the creature giggled and sunk back into the H2O slowly and swam away.

Holding up the snorkel, Benji turned to Miguel. "So um... want to share a snorkel?"

Miguel looked up at his partner. "Depends... when's the last time you brushed your teeth?"

"I dunno. What day is it?"

"EWWWWW! BENJIIIII!!!"

"Sorry... I'll go down alone."

"Oh, no, you don't! If you go down with him you might not come back." Miguel pointed out. As they stared down the glowing creature stopped, looked back up at them and waved energetically.

"Good point. You go." Benji said, handing over the breathing apparatus.

XXX

**Meanwhile, At the Helm**

Monroe had never been trusted with anything, so it came to a shock to him that Benji would actually confide in him, and give him the job of searing his ship. It didn't matter how many times the captain had crashed it himself, Monroe was still unclear as to _why_ Benji was giving him chance at all. He wondered if he was even worthy of this opportunity, but he didn't dwell on it. Thinking negatively never got anyone anywhere anyhow.

Instead he thought, _Wow! Benji must've seen something in me that I didn't. I must ponder what that something was so I can improve and become 'awesome'. Because, well, being awesome would just be... erm... AWESOME!_

It was really exciting to him. Both his parents were pirates before that had met their demise to a very mutinous crew. They were also very much in love, and great parents to Monroe, and in comparison to his new friends parental history was really refreshing.

Monroe always wanted to be like his parents. Honest and fair, with a lust for freedom. Something else he wanted, like his parents had, was a family. He planned on waiting for that "special" someone to come, and even if had to wait a really long time, he believed that he would know when he saw him.

It wasn't like he thought he'd get shot with a proverbial arrow, or hear bells, or anything. Just a feeling of _knowing_ when something fits together. Like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle.

He'd never been able to confide this in anyone. He'd hoped one day he'd be able to trust his new crew enough to share more about himself without any second thoughts, but 'til that day he would keep it to himself.

Suddenly Monroe pulled his brain out of hibernation; he saw something in the distance. He pulled out a small telescope to get a closer look. They were approaching an island.

Monroe had spotted it the morning before only much smaller. He was relieved that it was an island and not a speck on his scope. This meant the ship would be able to be repaired and they'd be back on track in no time at all.

...Or so he hoped.

XXX

"I found a hole! We need something sponge-like to block it off," Miguel said, scrambling back onto the dry floorboards. After a few moments of watching the red-head flail around, Benji finally took pity on him, and helped him up.

"But where are we going to get something like that?"

"I've got just the thing!" Miguel said, holding up a finger and then turning and dashing toward the galley.

"Where're we going?" Benji asked, confused, as he tagged along.

"Don't ask questions!"

"...Jeez...okay..."

They reached the galley, and Miguel immediately ran to the far wall.

"Um...Miguel...what're we doing?"

"DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!" Miguel bellowed.

".........."

Miguel stared at the wall for a moment, then said, "Turn and face the other wall."

"Um...why?"

"BENJI!"

"....Fine, whatever. But you're explaining this later." With a sigh, Benji turned and faced the other wall, and instead listened very, very closely.

There came the sound of something sliding to the side, and then a whirring sound. Then came a sound like Miguel...pressing buttons?

A lot of buttons.

One. Five. Ten. Twenty. Thirty...

And then there was an almighty creak, and more sliding, and then Miguel said, "Okay, you can look now."

Benji looked, and...there was a whole new door in the wall.

And Miguel was walking through it like it was perfectly normal. Not quite sure what to do, Benji followed.

It was fruitcake.

Miguel had been protecting, apparently with his life and all his skill...lots and lots of fruitcake.

"We're gonna plug the hole in the boat...with fruitcake," Benji said slowly.

"Of course," Miguel said calmly. "But not that one!" he added firmly, and Benji guiltily snatched his hand back from the fruitcake he'd been about to grab. He led Benji to another wall, and this time he just poked a spot on it, and the wall slid away.

"...We really shouldn't have this much room down here," Benji muttered, following Miguel into the room. "Fine, which fruitcake are we gonna use?"

"_That_ one," Miguel said reverently, and pointed to the most gargantuan fruitcake Benji had ever seen.

"...This is just too weird."

XXX

It was about midafternoon and Rin had decided to make lunch; this, under normal circumstances, meant cheeriness and a general frolicky feeling in the air. Unfortunately, Simon was in the galley with her, which, under any circumstances, meant that Rin was absolute hell on wheels in her irritation.

"What's for lunch, Kitchen Wench?" Simon smirked, hopping up on the only clean counter in the space.

Rin tossed some diced tomatoes into her pot of chili. "Hey, sea urchin, let's play a game. How about you stay quiet for an entire ten seconds, then try speaking without your oversized shoe in your equally oversized pie hole?"

"I was never much for games... Except, of course for Seven Minutes in Heaven...spin the bottle...strip poker..." The smirk grew as he leaned closer to Rin's ear. "I bet you'll make someone a lovely little wife someday..."

The raspberry-haired girl laughed robotically. "Not even in your wildest and most wonderful dreams, Neanderthal." Then, grinning evilly, she shoved a spoon of chili into Simon's mouth. "How is it?"

In response Simon choked and dropped the spoon in the sink. "Spicy."

Rin grinned happily. "I know. I haven't added the green peppers yet, and I added that extra little kick especially for you, the weasel who is clearly after my own shriveled little heart." Going back to her cutting board, she picked up her kitchen knife.

Simon, however, had other ideas. "Hmm...spicy...I like it..." he whispered into Rin's ear as he moved to stand behind her, placing his hand over her free one on the countertop.

Rin twitched nervously as his hand slid up her arm and the other wrapped around her waist. "May I remind you that I'm holding a knife?" Rin spat venomously.

But the problem with that logic was that the possibility of being brutally stabbed and possibly murdered in cold blood was not nearly enough to deter Simon from his quest for amusement. Life on a ship was dull as tombs much of the time, and neither Erik nor Miguel was around to pick on at the moment, thus leaving Rin the only innocent bystander with which Simon could nullify his boredom.

The fact that, lately, he would rather spend his time with Rin than alone in his cabin...that had nothing to do with it. Nothing whatsoever.

In Rin's opinion, the guy just didn't know when to grow up, or when to give up.

And she was right. Even as she threatened him, he started to pull her closer. "And?"

The word was a bare breath across her neck, and she told herself that the little shiver she gave was one of revulsion.

"And if you don't get off me this very instant, I won't be held responsible for the consequences. I have no conscience, and I'm absolutely certain that no one on this planet would miss your presence, or even notice your utter lack of existence."

The man chuckled darkly, but backed off all the same. "Fine. Have it your way, sea hag."

Rin sighed in relief as she heard Simon space himself from her. After she confirmed that he was at a safe distance, she finished chopping up the peppers with a hand that was, to its credit, entirely devoid of any tremors. Throwing the vegetables into the pot, she turned to look at Simon, who was turning out his pockets and looking angry.

When he saw her watching him, he gave her a look that could have crumbled even the strongest stone. "What?"

"Something wrong?" Rin asked innocently.

"I lost something," Simon replied, gritting his teeth.

"Chromosomes?"

"My lighter."

"Hmm...did it look something like this?" She grinned, fishing a little silver lighter out of her pocket.

It looked like real silver, but Rin's expert eye told her that it was only a very convincing imitation. Regardless of what it was made of, it was very well-crafted, and it even had Simon's initials engraved in it. Rin had just taken it when Simon assaulted her; depriving him of a cigarette had seemed like a more-than-fair course of revenge, considering what he'd just done to her. (Not for her. He did nothing for her. No.)

"Damn it, woman," he growled, balling up his fist. "Give. It. Back."

"Aww. That's not very nice." She smiled, tossing the thing into the air and catching it.

"Now. Before I break your arm."

"You can't possibly need a cigarette that badly," Rin scoffed. "You'll survive, Cujo."

"Obviously, you didn't hear me, so I'll say it one more time. Give me back my lighter."

"Nope," Rin said cheerfully, going back to her cooking and pocketing the trinket as she did. "You should really lighten up, princess. You're not going to make any friends if you keep throwing that anger around."

A muscle twitched violently in Simon's cheek; Rin wouldn't be surprised if he broke his jaw by clamping his teeth so tightly together. "Give. Me back. My Lighter."

Rin raised an eyebrow and waited.

"...Please." He said the word like other people say "pile of burning corpses," but it was clearly audible and he looked perfectly prepared to say it again if he had to.

Rin blinked in surprise. "...Say that again?"

"Give me back my lighter, please."

"Why?"

"Because it's...important."

Another blink, but this time, it was accompanied by shocked silence and a dark, forbidding scowl. To put it bluntly, Rin looked like she was going to explode. Literally. "You're so invested in this...thing...this tiny, imitation-silver piece of cheap-ass crap..."

Her eyes snapped fire, and Simon would be surprised if her look didn't, in fact, kill him this time.

"And yet you can't even summon up the decency, the courage, to say a single friendly word to the one person in the world who needs to hear it from you more than anyone else?"

Simon said nothing; something flickered in his eyes, but it was gone before Rin could even be certain it was there.

The anger flared up again. "You're pathetic."

And she threw the lighter at his feet and stormed off, slamming the door behind her and leaving Simon staring thoughtfully at the glint of silver on the floor.

XXX

**Back in the Brig**

Benji waited while Miguel jammed the "mother of all fruitcakes" into the hole in the boat. It seemed to be taking longer than expected...

"C'mon. C'mon. C'mon." Benji tapped his foot, impatiently. He was trying to ignore Berkeley, who was giving him googly eyes from across the room. "So... erm... how's it goin'?"

"Good." Berkeley said without batting an eye. "Everyday is wonderful as long as you're here, Hugglemuffins."

"Could you stop?"

"Stop what?"

"Staring at me. It's kinda embarrassing, y'know?" Benji shifted his feet nervously, as he thought. _Now I know how Miguel feels..._

"But, what else is there to look at?"

"Lots of things. The sea. The clouds. That wall. SOMETHING!?"

"Well okay. I guess I could try, but only for you."

"You'd be doing the world a favor..." _Miguel... What's taking so long?_

"Benji...?"

"Yeah." Benji answered reflexively. Then, "Wait... You... Called me Benji?"

"I did? Well. That is your name."

"Yeah, I know. I just didn't know _you_ knew."

"Oh?"

"Mmm-hmm. I just assumed you thought my name was 'Hugglemuffins', 'Greek God', 'Mr. Wonderful'..."

"Yeah..."

"...'Perfection Prince', 'Love Bunny', 'Mr. Sexy'..." Benji recited every name by memory, almost robotically.

"Okay. I get it..."

"...'Cuddlebug', 'Muffinhead'..."

"HEY!!!"

"Huh? What?"

"Look. This might come as a shock to you," Berkeley said sheepishly.

"At this point...? Really? You're frothing at the mouth..."

"You haven't fed me since last Tuesday. I had to eat the soap..."

"Oh, right. I knew I forgot something."

"Really?"

"I've been meaning to look for that soap."

"Can we get back to meeee?"

"Why's it all about you? It's NEVER about Joe!"

"What?"

"Never mind."

"I think we've lost the spark," Berkeley deadpanned.

"The spark?"

"Yes. That magic between us. It's just not there."

"Umm... woo-hoo."

"You mean... you're not upset?"

"Nope. I've actually been dating Miguel for, like, ever..."

"Wow... I had _no_ idea! How have you been hiding it from me this whole time?"

"Erm... I wasn't?" Benji frowned. "So. Is there anyone you do feel the spark for?"

"There was. Back where I'm from there was this guy..."

"Pedro?"

"No."

"Raul?"

"No..."

"Ah-"

"NO!"

"Okay, paint me curious. Who's the guy I send the sympathy gift to?"

"Ha ha. His name is Palavi," Berkeley said, his tone turning to something more light-hearted. "He's been in love with me since the day we met."

"Aww..."

"And he had the most beautiful blue eyes."

"Sounds cute. So what's stopping you from jumping ship and getting your man?"

"He probably doesn't love me... well... now..."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because when he told me—that he loved me, that is—I panicked. This would've been three years ago."

"Go on..."

"Well, there's not much to it really. He told me he loved me and I swam away..."

"Somehow I don't think that's the whole story."

"No, that's it. I literally jumped into the ocean, and swam to Spain."

"Wow."

"I know. That was stupid."

"No. I mean, yeah, but how did you swim to Spain?"

"Let's not dwell on that. Anyways, I've always wondered what would've been."

"What would've been?" Miguel said suddenly appearing behind Benji, miraculously dry.

"Miguel?" Benji asked, looking at his partner with an air of skepticism. "Why aren't you down there?"

"Oh, I've been up here for hours. After I was finished with the hole I used the secret passageway that leads to our cabin." Miguel said, matter-of-factly.

"We have a... how do you know about all these things?"

"Benji, you could fill the library of Congress with books full of things I know that you don't."

"What's Congress?" Benji asked, ignoring the insult.

"Another thing I know that you don't. Don't think about it, your brain will explode. Now, were coming up on some island so..."

"I'll be there in a minute, hon."

"Well, okay. Don't keep me waiting too long, though." Miguel pouted, then ran up the stairs.

After Miguel was gone Benji turned back to Berkeley. "I know from experience, Berkeley. If you don't go back you'll always wonder about what might've been. And if you go back to find him.... you might be pleasantly surprised. At any rate, this thing deserves closure."

"Thanks, Benji."

"Yeah. Well, I'm... going... up there....now... bye!" Benji followed Miguel's suit and ran up the stairs. All the while thinking, _I just had a civil conversation... with Berkeley... I think I just felt a disturbance in the space time continuum_

XXX

**Meanwhile, in Some Random Diner**

Li: Dahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Ava: *is offended* That is preposterous!

Adara: *picks up bottle of ketchup* Huh...

Li: What?

Adara: It says... Warning... is not to be used for the other use.

Ava: Is there another use for ketchup?

Li: *feigns heart attack* Rico! Rico! I'm coming to join ya!

Ava: Li, we all know your not having a heart attack!

Li: After all those burgers you tricked me into eating, how would you know?

Ava: We didn't trick you into eating them. You ordered them.

Adara: And you ate them. And then you ate my food...

Ava: And mine.

Adara: And then the napkins.

Adara: You even ate the food of the people in the booth opposite us.

Li: You guys suck...

XXX

Benji narrowed his eyes at the island that was growing larger as they moved closer to it; he didn't trust unidentified pieces of land—possibly because every time he came across one, it was when he was crashing into it at unpleasant and wholly damaging speed.

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Miguel told him, in what he might have imagined was a comforting tone. "We're only going ashore for a few hours at the most, and you can stay on the boat if you want."

Benji sighed and said sadly, "No...I'll risk it for you... I won't leave you alone with the cannibals..."

"Oh, for the love of God, for the last time, there are _no cannibals here_, Benji."

"Show me the proof."

"No, _you_ show _me _the proof."

"...I asked first."

Miguel threw up his hands in disgust and stomped away, leaving Benji watching him with a grin on his face. He _did_ love annoying Miguel...the little Spaniard was so adorable when he was irritated...

Simon watched the spectacle and felt his stomach clench (in disgust, of course). "How _sweet_ they are together..." he muttered, lighting a cigarette and leaning against the rail. He managed to maintain that position for all of twenty seconds, before he found himself falling headfirst over the side of the boat.

Rin laughed gleefully as Simon hit the water with a rather undignified splash; she was still giggling hysterically when she caught her first sight of the shoreline at close range. Her eyes widened.

"Um...guys?" She pointed. "We have a problem..."


	13. Click Click, Boom Boom

Chapter 13

"Well..." Benji said, glaring at Miguel, who was looking rather sheepish. "You wanted proof."

"I'm sorry for doubting you..." the redhead apologized.

This island had been inhabited by cannibals. A lot of cannibals...

About twenty or so had been on the shore of the island, fishing Simon out of the ocean when the _Archangel_ pulled ashore.

Now the group of natives was leering savagely at Benji's crew. They seemed to communicate by clicking their tongues in various fashions, with the addition of a few claps and snaps. It was a tough act to follow, but still quite amusing.

Benji was the first to approach them, the others followed warily, with the exception of Berkeley who was nowhere to be seen.

A few of the cannibals were tying a very irate Simon to a pole as he cursed at them. The others were waving their arms gleefully and "clicking" happily. "Click click. Oooo!"

"Let me go! Hey! Stop touching me! You touch me again and I'll bite you!" Simon growled, now dangling from the long piece of wood held by the savages. "HELP ME!"

"See, we would like to, but..." Benji shrugged, looking at Miguel.

"I don't speak cannibal..." Miguel continued, emerald green eyes sparkling.

Erik watched as the cheering people carried his brother away. "Wait! We have to help him," he pleaded.

Benji looked shocked. "Why? I say this is a fitting end for him. They should've sent a poet..."

Much to his own dismay Erik pushed past Benji and ran after the cannibals. "WAIT!!! YOU CAN'T EAT HIM!!!"

"YEAH!! HE'S A RATHER UNSAVORY CHARACTER!" Jiro shouted, quickly following the attractive doctor.

"WE HAVE FRUITCAKE!" Benji yelled.

"NO WE DON'T, BENJI!"

Rin shrugged and ran after them. "YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT HIM! HE'S FULL OF S-"

"RIN!!!"

"WHAT!? I WAS GONNA SAY STARCH!"

Monroe was the last standing, looking confused. "Okay. Good! I'll... uh... watch the ship!"

"Hugglemuffins!" Berkeley shouted over the railing. "Hugglemuffins? Hey, you! Boy who tastes of sushi, where is my Hugglemuffin?"

Monroe looked up at the rabid person frothing at the mouth. "He went that way... after the cannibals... I taste like sushi?"

"Cannibals?"

"People who eat other people."

"I KNOW WHAT A CANNIBAL IS!!"

"Sorry..."

"THEY WENT THAT WAY!?"

"Yeah... that way... _After_ the cannibals..." Monroe repeated, still trying to process the "why" of it.

With that Berkeley jumped down from the ship, landing on the sand like a cat, and began to give chase on all fours—again, like a cat, which was rather impressive.

"Why do they always go _toward _certain doom...?"

XXX

After shouting various things at the group of wild people for an hour the cannibals finally halted. They stopped cheering and glared toward the approaching pirates. "Click. Click. Clu."

"Wait... wa... Oh. They stopped." Erik panted. "You... can't... eat... brother..." he added before doubling over in exhaustion.

Jiro, who was right behind him, caught the doctor before he hit the ground and propped him up.

"...my hero..." Simon sighed.

"DAHHHHHHHH!!!" One of the cannibals shouted at the captive, waving a pointy stick.

"GET THAT OUT OF MY FACE!!"

The man with the stick looked offended by Simon's rudeness and began poking him. "Click. Click. Click."

"Ow. Ow. OW!"

By that point everyone else had caught up. Benji surveyed the scene as Miguel offered a hand with Erik. It was obvious the doctor didn't do much running; it was true he was very healthy, but was not as able-bodied as the rest of the crew.

Rin stopped and began laughing immediately. "How I'm going to enjoy holding this over his head. Assuming we get it back as a souvenir..."

After everyone was done fussing over him, Erik stepped forward. "Please, sirs, I can't let you take him," he said, gesturing to Simon.

The natives looked confused, some spit toward the crew, while others hissed.

"Very good, little brother. Now say: 'I'm small and defenseless so if you don't listen to me I'll sic my big, strong boyfriend on you. And you'll be sowwy..." Simon said mockingly. "Or you could try a _more_ pathetic approach... OWWW! CAN IT, SMALLS!"

The "stick man" looked proud. "Click!"

Erik exhaled, trying to think of something to say. "Simon..."

Just then something rushed past them, it was so fast all they saw was a purple blur.

Benji blinked. "The hell?"

Click. Click. Click. Silence.

Simon sighed. "Correction... there goes my hero..."

Then it came back. "HUGGLEMUFFIIIIINNNNNNSSSSS!!!"

"Berkeley?"

The berserk man looked at the two groups and stood up. "The mousy one told me you came this way..."

The group of cannibals drew closer together and began "clicking" amongst themselves. Then as one they turned toward Berkeley, dropped Simon, and launched themselves at him.

"Crap..." was all Berkeley had time to say before he was dog piled.

The crew watched as Berkeley was slowly buried in cannibals. Benji looked shocked and began waving his arms at them. "NO! BAD! DON'T EAT HIM EITHER!"

Miguel gasped. "We have to save Berkeley!"

Simon rolled over to spit out some sand. "What about me?"

Jiro shrugged and nudged his partner away from Simon. "You have teeth don't you? Save yourself, you bastard..."

Erik tried to protest, but couldn't find a reason to help his brother at this point.

The crew began shoveling cannibals off of their friend, getting bit a few times, but still they pressed on in the hopes that Berkeley was still in one piece.

Which he was, they realized, once they got to the base of the pile. Actually he was _completely_ unharmed. And he was... _clicking_?

"WHAT THE CRAP!?"

Berkeley looked at the pirates and shrugged. "I... um... guys... This is..." he began dusting himself off. "This is my tribe."

Miguel looked skeptical. "Berkeley's a cannibal?"

"We're not cannibals!" Berkeley protested.

Benji interjected next. "Then why were they making off with Simon? Not that I'm complaining..."

"HEY!" came the muffled cry of Simon who was chewing at his restraints.

"Hold on. I'll find out..." Berkeley said turning to his fellow rabids. "Click, click. Chlu. Click." Snap. "Clu....?"

A random tribe member replied. Clap. Snap. "Click."

"Click clu?"

"Gamma Muuuuuuu..."

"Ooooo..." Berkeley nodded.

Rin blinked at the conversation. "This is too weird..."

"Yeah, no kidding..." Benji added.

Miguel looked up at Benji. "Did you have any idea this was Berkeley's native island?"

"Nope. I just found out he _came_ from an island. Let alone _this_ island. It just a coincidence..."

"Or a plot device."

Finally Berkeley turned back to the crew, who gave him their full attention. "We have to let them take the angry one..."

"NO!" Erik shouted.

"Why do we _have _to, Berkeley?" Benji asked.

"Because he's the sacrifice," he explained as if it were obvious.

"I'm not following..."

"The sacrifice! It's tradition! If someone from my tribe finds their mate for life they must find a sacrifice to give to our volcano goddess on their wedding day so their bond will be eternal. And if the ceremony doesn't go as planned the couple is cursed as punishment. That's bad!"

"But why Simon?" Rin asked, intrigued by Berkeley's story.

"Oh, because they said he's a very pretty man. We like pretty men here..."

Snort. "Him?" Rin choked.

"SHUT-UP!" POKE! "WILL YOU CUT IT OUT, SMALLS!!?"

Erik's head sank. "What happens to a sacrifice exactly?"

"We throw him into the volcano and dance triumphantly. It's what we do..."

Benji looked at Erik, his stomach knotting up. "Fine... Berkeley. Can you convince them to let us talk to the bride? Maybe we can persuade her to get another sacrifice."

"Okay. I can try. Um... click. Click." Snap. "Click clu?"

The tribe shrugged, retrieved Simon, and began leading the crew toward their camp.

"Okay?"

Berkeley nodded. "Okay!"

"Not okay!" Simon yelled.

Benji smirked as everyone followed the tribe.

Miguel, who was still curious about things, ran up to Berkeley. "So, uh, Berkeley. Where is this exactly?"

"Here? Oh, this is _Crazy Frog Island_ home of the _Boom Boom Click _tribe."

"The Boom Boom Click tribe of Crazy Frog Island..." Miguel repeated.

Benji smiled. "Wait'll Hiei hears about this..."

XXX

**The Boom Boom Click Encampment**

Once they arrived at the camp Benji realized just how outnumbered they were. About fifty to one. Some odds...

Even more so he saw the resemblance Berkeley had to the tribe. The neon-bright hair was a dead give away, but the mannerisms... It was too much.

The previous group had Simon set up in a cozy little cage now, but he didn't seem very grateful which had them puzzled.

Immediately after laughing at him Benji was prompted by Erik to go talk to the bride. He grudgingly obeyed. "Okay, Berks. Where'd they say the bride is?

Berkeley blushed slightly, enjoying his nickname. Benji had never given him a "real" nickname before. "Well... the hut's over there." He said and began leading Benji to it. "And the bride's not a.... it's more like a... like our ship."

"A gay marriage?"

"Uh-huh."

"The bride's a man-bride?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's a relief... I thought I'd have to talk to someone with boobies who's not Rin. And I haven't done that since Erik was dragged kicking and screaming from the closet."

"This is it!" said stopping at a random hut.

"You're coming too. I need you to translate."

"Right!"

"So do I knock... or…?"

"I'll do it...." Berkeley said walking up to the entrance of the hut, he began knocking.

A click from the inside indicated they could enter, or so Benji assumed because Berkeley went in.

It was a nice place, with a kitchen, or something. And a living room... he thought. Oh, but there was a bed. That Benji could recognize for what it was.

Someone was occupying the bed. An old man, with faded orange hair. He looked ill, which was why there was someone at his bedside caring for him. The man at the bed had his back turned to the pair; he had orange hair similar to the old man's only brighter and healthier. Perhaps a relative?

It seems they were having a serious conversation before they had arrived, but as soon as the old man noticed them he smiled and started "clicking" excitedly to the other man.

"Click-Chloo?" the younger man asked then whipped his head around to face them. The sapphire blue eyes snapped fire as he looked upon them.

Berkeley jumped back, clearly frightened.

"Is that...?" Benji asked slowly, the blue eyes sparking something in his memory.

Benji's suspicions were confirmed when the young man leaped at Berkeley knocking him to the ground as he began pummeling him. "DAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"

Deciding to let Berkeley settle this in his own way Benji stepped over the cat fight and sat next to the bed. He looked up at the old man and said, "Two doubloons on Palavi..."

The old man nodded wisely and got out his money.

XXX

Palavi hadn't let down one bit, he was still pounding on Berkeley's chest, and it seemed endless. It was then that Berkeley decided he'd have to stop this. He grabbed the man's wrists and held them in place. "Enough! That hurts!"

"Good." Palavi said, through gritted teeth. "I hope it hurts a whole damn lot!"

"Can't we talk about this?"

"Fine. Let's talk." He said, emphasizing it by elbowing Berkeley in the stomach. That got his hands free and he scrambled to his feet.

Berkeley was having a harder time catching his breath, but made it to his feet all the same. "Palavi. I'm so sorry."

"Oh, I forgive you."

"Really?"

"NO! You sneaky rat bastard!"

Then the arguing began. It was a fun time for all.

"You didn't give me a choice! You're so pushy."

"You ran away!"

"You scared me!"

"I told you I loved you! That's what scared you so badly!?" Palavi growled, his face knotted with rage.

"You're scaring me now..."

"I waited for you to come back!"

"Clearly! Because it seems like you moved onto the next available guy to come along."

"You don't understand!"

"What don't I understand?"

Palavi looked over to the old man. They were, much to Benji's assumption, related. He was Palavi's father. The man shook his head and turned back to Berkeley. "It's complicated."

"Fine. Don't tell me. Just... I need a favor. The guy you're sacrificing at your ceremony. You can't sacrifice him. Please."

"No."

"Please! He's... very important to Benji's friend. It's his brother."

"Benji?" he looked over at the white-haired man, who waved. "I see."

"His best friend, Palavi. If he lets him down, then he won't be able to live with it. They're like... family."

Palavi looked at Berkeley and sighed deeply. "Okay. I'll find another."

"Thank you."

"Not for you. For him and his friend."

Berkeley sighed and turned to Benji and said in English. "He'll let the angry one go."

"Really? Cool." Benji smiled at Palavi.

Palavi half smiled, but it was something at least. They pair turned to leave, but before they made it out Palavi spoke again. "Aren't you going to ask me?"

Berkeley turned around to look at him again. The blue eyes were softer now and his expression was sad. The purple-haired man wanted to ask him something, but didn't feel the right to do so. Besides it wasn't what Palavi was implying. "Ask you what?"

"Who I'm marrying..."

"No."

Palavi sighed and turned away one last time, the spiral curls of his hair twisting sharply as he whipped his head to look forward. Benji had already left, since it was no use eavesdropping because he didn't understand the clicking. And Palavi's father was now fast asleep, which was probably for the best.

And now it was finally Berkeley's turn to leave. As he did, he came to see familiar face. But not one he'd hoped to see. He knew this man very well. Even three years hadn't changed his scowl to something more attractive. Which he was already, he didn't need the extra boost.

His hair was midnight black with touches of bright red; he had violet eyes, and a darkly tan complexion. He was also the rudest man Berkeley had ever met. And he knew Simon.

"Mikayl..." he said acidly. When Berkeley was growing up he and Mikayl had been inseparable, the best of friends, until one day Mikayl had decided that Berkeley wasn't necessary and that there were better friends he could have. It took him all about two seconds to ditch him.

From then on he became more greedy, self-absorbed, and rotten. He would even go out of his way to hurt Berkeley because deserting him didn't seem enough for him.

What he remembered, worst of all, was the day Palavi told him he loved him. He didn't want it to be his worst memory, but it was...

Palavi had obviously liked Berkeley for a while and when he finally got up the courage to speak to him, which was all it took until Palavi wouldn't leave him alone. All the while Mikayl was madly in love with Palavi, and voiced it often, but Palavi wasn't interested in him at all. He only had eyes for Berkeley.

Berkeley couldn't know he was in love with Palavi. He thought having the little boy following him around, giving him flowers, and trying to cling to him was annoying. He'd even given him a pet name. _Hugglemuffins_.

The world works in mysterious ways...

Every time he would try to shake the little pest he would keep coming back more persistent than ever. He was as determined to be with Berkeley as Mikayl was to hurt him.

That was why he hurt Palavi...

He'd always remember how he looked that day. His always smiling face adorned with bruises, every inch of him cut and bleeding. Mikayl had told Berkeley many times that Palavi "belonged" to him, like some kind of property, but he didn't know how far he would go.

He had asked Palavi to go out with him and Palavi refused. He said to him, "I love Berkeley. I always have and I know now that I always will. And I would rather die alone than with you." Apparently Mikayl didn't take it well...

Even so he came to Berkeley again that day, like so many days before. He was still smiling, caring, and beautiful. And he still loved Berkeley. And Berkeley could see now that he felt the same way.

But Berkeley was scared. He didn't want Palavi to be hurt anymore and he couldn't protect him.

So he hurt him in a way that Mikayl never could. Berkeley had seen it in Palavi's eyes just now. And it killed him to know it.

And it was all because of _him_.

Years of hatred just grew and grew from that point. Now just the mention of his Mikayl's name seemed like poison in his mind.

"What are you doing here?"

Mikayl just looked uninterested and didn't even bother answering. "Are you going to move?"

"I asked you a question."

"You still don't understand, do you? I keep telling you." He laughed coldly. "If I must tell you again then I will. Palavi's mine."

"He doesn't belong to you, Mikayl. You know he hates you as much as I do. And besides he's getting married to someone else in case you didn't hear."

"I did, actually." Mikayl shook his head mournfully. "It's a shame really."

"Yeah."

"I asked him to marry me."

"Really?"

"Several times."

"...Wow. That's very interesting..."

"And now that he's accepted I have to tolerate that sick old man until he dies. Hopefully sooner than later..."

"What!!?"

"Yes. I know. There's always a catch, but we all have our crosses to bear."

"You bastard! What did you do? Threaten him? His dad? What?"

"Didn't have to. He finally came to me and asked. He finally disillusioned himself into thinking you were the one he wanted. It's sad really. But it doesn't matter now. I won." And with that last sentiment he shoved Berkeley aside, entering Palavi's house.

Leaving Berkeley alone. Thinking about the mistake he'd made...

XXX

"Aww c'mon Simon. She's so cute! And she likes you..." Rin said in a singsong voice, hanging on the cage like a monkey.

Simon growled from his cage, glaring daggers at the crew. It had seemed he had made a new friend. A young three-year-old girl who was, coincidentally "Smalls" little sister. As far as they could tell she had somehow squeezed into the cage and attached herself to Simon.

And the "Boom Boom Click" were very literal about everything they did. This girl had genuinely fastened her mouth around Simon's hand and wouldn't let go. It was questionable if she liked him or was just teething. The content "clicking" wasn't enough to distinguish it.

"Hey! Watch it, shrimp..." the dark man grumbled, trying to shake her.

"Shrimp" retaliated by wrapping herself around his arm, giggling wickedly.

"I like shrimp! Who else likes shrimp?!" Rin asked loudly.

The group, despite the situation, was enjoying themselves. They were sitting around a bonfire in the center of the village, which was right next to Simon's prison oddly enough.

Erik was leaning on Jiro's shoulder, trying not to look worried about Simon. No matter how horrible he was, he was still family and that meant protecting him from the volcano. Even if it was what he deserved....

Miguel was getting to know the locals; Benji had guessed he was trying to build relations, or allies. He wasn't too confident in his "clicking" abilities, but he figured out the basics of communication. His audience was nodding wildly and looking generally impressed. At least Benji hoped they were impressed and not just hungry instead.

Berkeley, looking very distraught, finally came to the group and sat down next to Benji.

"So... how'd it go?" the chipper captain asked.

The rabid man shook his head, looking tired. He said something inaudible then buried his head in his arms.

"Oh... you wanna talk about it?"

"No..." came his muffled reply. "When are we leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning if repairs go as planned." Benji shrugged.

"Good..."

No one had any idea what was going on between Berkeley and Benji, at this point they didn't want to get involved, but they were still curious.

"Can somebody get me out of this cage?" Simon moaned.

Jiro turned to the cage and thought about it. "Anyone got a muzzle?"

Simon growled, searching for a rock to throw at Jiro, mumbling profanities under his breath. It seemed the locals were getting bored with this show and decided to go retrieve the key.

"CLICK!!!!"

Berkeley looked around, perking up a bit. "What's...?"

There was a loud racket, from where no one could tell, but it was becoming closer.

"CLICK!" SNAP! "CLICK!" SNAP!

The group kept searching for the distressed "clicking", even the men at the cage looked about.

"Who cares? Let me out, you freaks!"

Suddenly a large, very angry man emerged for the bushes and he was marching toward the group of pirates. Berkeley tilted his head in awe at Mikayl as he saw what the source of the "clicking" actually was.

Attached to Mikayl's arm was Palavi. The orange-haired man had his feet in the sand, trying to stop the juggernaut, but failing miserably as he was being dragged along. He was screaming various things and hitting Mikayl's back with one fist still trying in vain to halt the larger man.

"Palavi?" Berkeley asked as they got into earshot. Palavi didn't seem to notice anything as he was flung to the ground by Mikayl.

Palavi growled angrily at him and began "clicking" again, this time hitting the sand with his fist. "Click, click, clu. Chloo, click, clu!"

Mikayl shrugged off the protests and kept to his mission.

Palavi looked up at Berkeley and shook his head, knowing he wasn't getting through Mikayl's thick head. He sighed and ran over to Mikayl, this time blocking Simon's cage with his body, shaking his head violently. "CLICK!"

"What are they going on about!?" Simon yelled at Berkeley.

Suddenly Mikayl snatched the key from the guards and "clicked" something at them, angrily waving his arms.

Palavi frowned and tried to get the key back, but the other man quickly threw him over his shoulder and carried him away without another click.

Except on Palavi's end, who was not happy at all; he was beating on Mikayl's back and screaming what the crew believed to be curses.

"Click-Chloo! Click-Chloo! Click-Chloo!" he yelled desperately at Berkeley as they disappeared from sight.

"What the hell just happened, Berkeley!?" Erik asked angrily. "I thought they were letting him go!"

"He was. Palavi said he'd find someone else, but from what I can tell Mikayl disagrees."

"Shouldn't he have a club or something...?" Rin growled, clearly disturbed by what just transpired.

Erik ignored this and immediately went back to Berkeley. "Well... make him un-disagree!"

"I can't!" Berkeley yelled back at the doctor. "He won't listen to me!"

The crew sighed collectively.

Benji had a plan, though. "Jiro, you take Erik back to the _Archangel_. You can help Monroe repair the ship. Me, Rin, Miguel, and Berkeley will stay put. As soon as ceremony starts tomorrow and everyone is distracted we'll bust Simon out. We'll meet you back at the ship and make a clean getaway..."

Erik nodded. "Okay... But if you don't bring him back-"

Benji smiled. "I know." And with that Jiro and Erik took off toward the trees. Benji turned back to the rest of his crew and asked, "Where'd Berkeley go?"

The question was rhetorical. He knew where Berkeley was.

XXX

**Palavi's Hut**

When Berkeley arrived at Palavi's place he didn't bother knocking, he barged right in. "Palavi!" he shouted, looking around, but it seemed that no one was here. Except for Palavi's father who was sitting in his bed drinking tea.

"Oh... sorry. I thought Palavi would be here." he sighed as the old man smiled at him.

"Don't worry about it. Come in and have some tea."

"Erm... thanks, but it's really important that I find Palavi."

"Tea first then I will tell you where my son is..." the old man smirked evilly.

It had seemed that being sick had only weakened his body, but his mind was still as sharp as a blade.

"Right. Tea." Berkeley said fumbling with the kettle. When he finally prepared the tea successfully he joined the old man. "Thank you, Donuha."

"Who?"

"Donuha. That's your name."

"It is?"

"Yes. Don't you remember?"

"Boy, I am _old_. How do you expect me to remember something so trivial?" he said, sipping his tea.

"Uh..."

Perhaps his mind was only as _sharp_ as a marble.

"Well don't just sit there with your mouth agape. Tell me what's on your mind."

"It's about your son. He's marrying someone who is perhaps the _worst_ man on this island. I have to stop him!"

"Palavi's marrying a _man_?" Donuha asked, flabbergasted.

"Er..."

"Well I suppose that's okay."

"Sir, did you even know Palavi's getting married?"

"He's my _son_! Of course I know he's getting married."

"But you just... DAH! I'm sorry, but are you going to tell me where he went or not?"

"Who?"

"Are you seriously kidding me?"

"No, your name is Berkeley. Geez, what kind of person doesn't even remember their own name? Young-un's these days..."

"I'm not a-"

"Oh yes you we're such a nice little boy. Always looking out for my Palavi. You're all he'd talk about all day long."

"Yeah?"

"It was annoying, but sweet."

Berkeley nodded. "I thought so too."

"But now he's marryin' that Mikayl. I thought Palavi didn't like him, I don't like him, nobody really likes him... Why would he marry someone he didn't like?"

"That's what I'd like to know."

"I always thought he would marry that Berkeley kid."

"Um?"

"Yeah he really liked him. I just saw him the other day. I hope he and my son make up."

Berkeley laughed. "Maybe I'll tell Berkeley that."

"But you are Berkeley. What's with kid's talking in the third person these days?"

"I'm going to go find Palavi now..."

"Oh, he went to that little clearing in the jungle. He always goes there."

"Really? Thanks."

"What for? Who are you?"

"Berkeley."

"Oh that's nice..."

Berkeley smiled and left the old man to his tea.

"What a nice boy..." he chuckled once Berkeley had left. "And so gullible too."

XXX

**Back at the Archangel**

When Erik and Jiro arrived back at the ship, Monroe was already hard at work on the repairs.

The blonde-haired youth looked up from his patchwork to greet his comrades. "Oh, hello. I'm glad that you weren't eaten by the cannibals. I didn't know if you were coming back at all, but I thought I'd fix the hole just in case you did. And you did, so yay!" Monroe cheered.

Jiro couldn't help but chuckle a little bit and this prompted Erik to do the same despite the day he'd been having.

"Need any help?" the chaplain asked tapping the boards.

"Erm... you don't have to..."

Jiro smiled. He really didn't want it to look like he was taking pity on the guy, but he did get left out of most things, and the rest of the time he was ignored. "I want to. Even though it looks like you've got it covered. You're quite the handyman, Monroe. Any more hidden talents you're hiding from us?"

Monroe blushed, "I don't think so..." and shyly got back to work.

Erik rolled his eyes. He knew what Jiro was doing with that "winning smile" of his. "Alright then, boys. Since I'm of no use here, I'll go see what I can do about provisions. If I'm not back in an hour..." he said, eyes narrowing to Jiro. "You'd better come find me."

"Don't worry. I will." Jiro said reassuringly as he kissed his partner's cheek.

"I mean it! If I die in there-"

"If you want me to come with you I'd be more than happy to."

"No... I'm actually getting sick of you."

"Really?"

"Oh, yes, it's true." Erik laughed to himself as he scaled the ship, heading for the store room.

"One... Two..." Jiro counted down as the seconds went by. "Two and a half... Three."

"Ya know. I'm pretty much done here." Monroe looked up at him, sympathetically. "It's been thirty seconds already, Erik could be in serious danger right now and without you he's a goner..."

Jiro laughed. "Monroe?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't wait up for me." Jiro smirked getting that glint in his eye as he took off after the doctor.

Monroe shook his head, nailing another board to his patch. "Boys will be boys..."

If he didn't love being around the crazy, star-crossed pirates so much he'd be really jealous. Okay, so he was still a little jealous, but...

Okay, he was_ really_ jealous!

That didn't matter because his soul mate was out there too. He just hadn't found him yet and seeing so much love around it was hard not to believe that such a thing as "True Love" didn't exist.

So he didn't mind being jealous. It was only going to be temporary, right?

XXX

By the time Jiro found Erik, the latter was already hard at work, taking inventory of what food they had in storage and making notes of what he recommended they pick up at the next port. He barely looked up when Jiro entered; Jiro seemed to take this as both a challenge and a personal insult.

The corner of his mouth quirking up in a mischievous smirk, the chaplain came quietly up behind his lover and wrapped his arms around the thin waist, asking softly, "What̀cha doin'?"

"Working," Erik replied flatly. "And you _could_ help."

Jiro snorted. "Could I? Could I really?" He tightened his arms around Erik, dropping feather-light kisses onto his neck. "And…is that _really_ what you want me to be doing with my time?"

Erik drew in a shaky breath. "Y-yes. Yes, i-it is."

Jiro sighed and dropped his hands back to his sides. "You're no fun. Okay, what can I do to help?"

"Um…" Erik looked around. "Help me get this stuff in order. We have absolutely no system of organization down here…it drives me crazy… Let's start with the flour. We can stack all the sacks in that back corner."

"Yessir."

Erik chuckled and reached for the first bag, as Jiro grabbed another. It all went very smoothly until the pile grew taller than Erik; as he reached up to place the last sack on the top, it burst open, covering him in white. He stood there for a moment, his eyes wide behind his flour-covered glasses as though he couldn't believe what had just happened, then coughed; a cloud of white rose in the air in front of him as he did so.

Jiro clapped a hand over his mouth, but was completely unsuccessful in muffling the wild laughter that was determined to escape. Erik glared at him as he took his glasses off and tried to clean them on his equally filthy shirt.

"I-I'm sorry…you…you just… God, you're a _mess_!"

"Oh, gee, _really_? You don't say! Why, I'm just _shocked_!"

This only made Jiro laugh harder as he moved towards Erik. "Here, lemme help…"

Erik raised his eyes as Jiro came closer, and there was no mistaking what that glint in them meant… Unfortunately, the glint went unnoticed by Jiro, and his obliviousness earned him a face full of flour.

Jiro stood there for a moment, frozen just as Erik had been a moment ago, and listened to Erik laugh hysterically. _God, I love that sound._

Erik's laughter faded slowly, and he slowly straightened from where he'd been bent over and clutching his sides, only to find Jiro staring at him. It was one of those stares that had always used to terrify Erik—the ones that pinned him down and refused to let him look away, that swallowed him whole and made him feel like he was losing himself and finding himself at the same time.

"Jiro? What's…what's wrong?" Erik asked hesitantly.

Jiro smiled slightly, reaching up to trace his lover's cheek with his fingertip. "You're so beautiful."

The blush on the doctor's face was evident even through the white that caked it. "I'm covered in flour!"

The smile grew a bit larger. "Doesn't matter." His fingers left Erik's cheek to thread through his hair, and he whispered, "C'mere…"

Erik did so willingly, giving himself over completely to the kiss that followed. Almost before he noticed, Jiro had pulled him onto the floor and pinned him between his arms, pushing more and more into the kiss, until Erik's head started to spin and a watery feeling in his knees made him glad that he was already lying down.

They barely managed to get their shirts off before they were interrupted.

"Ahem."

Jiro looked up, Erik coming back to himself commendably quickly and following his gaze. Benji stood in the doorway, his hands on his hips, with Miguel standing behind him and emitting disturbingly high-pitched giggles.

"There _are_ beds on this ship, you know. The storeroom was not made for this."

Jiro blinked and looked down at the dazed man in his arms. "…He's right. C'mon."

And he pulled Erik to his feet and dragged him, stumbling and bemused, to his cabin.

XXX

**Somewhere in the Jungle**

It hadn't taken Berkeley long to find the clearing. It was where he used to play as a child, the only reason Palavi knew about it was because he had followed him there dozens of times.

"Palavi, are you here?" Berkeley called out, hoping that the orange-haired man wasn't hiding from him.

"I am," came Palavi's unsteady voice. "Just don't come over here, okay?"

Berkeley ignored him and walked toward him anyways. "No."

"Please go away." The trees began to rustle as Palavi was now moving farther away. "I can't save your friend. I'm sorry. Please just leave me alone..."

"That's not why I'm here, Palavi."

The trees stood still for a moment and Berkeley spotted the brush of orange hair in the distance. He had stopped trying to get away, now he just sunk to the ground, wrapping his arms around his legs. "Don't look at me..."

"Palavi..." Berkeley said softly as he walked closer to the huddled mass. He knelt next to the shaking form, stroking the olive-tinted arms wrapped around equally bronzed legs.

"I don't know what to do, Berkeley." He cried softly.

"Your father's... really sick, huh?"

"He's dying... and I can't help him." Palavi wept, leaning on Berkeley for support now, but not un-curling from his previous position. "I feel so helpless."

"Shh... it's not your fault." Berkeley whispered, hoping for a way to console his friend.

"His dying wish is to see me get married. He's all I have left... I can't let him down."

"Is that why you're marrying Mikayl?"

"Yes."

"There... This can't be your only option. Isn't there another way?"

"It's too late. I spent too much time pining and by the time I realized my father was on his last stride everyone had gone. They all have families now, happy families, and Mikayl was my last... only resort." Palavi stifled another sob and coughed. "I have to."

"No, you don't." Berkeley prompted, un-winding Palavi from his protective ball. At first he caught a glimpse of the tear-soaked face before Palavi turned away again.

"Don't." His hands wrapped around his form again, this time tighter than the last. His long hair hung loose about his shoulder's making him look childish.

"Palavi." Berkeley said softly, touching a shoulder. "Leave with me and Benji's crew. You'll be happier with us. The brig's big enough for the two of us. We even have a swimming pool."

"I can't leave my father here. And this is my home... I've never been anywhere else. The world is too big and I do not wish to leave. Please don't ask me this..."

Berkeley sighed.

"Would you stay with me?"

"No, I'm not staying. When I left, I was ready to go." Berkeley said, "And I never wanted to come back..."

"Then go. I'm not stopping you."

"No, wait. I didn't mean that!" Berkeley shouted. "You have to believe that I'd never want to hurt you. I can't let Mikayl hurt you either." He moved to face Palavi, this time forcing the young man to look at him. "Oh..."

Palavi looked up at Berkeley, completely shaken. The surface around Palavi's right eye was marred by a swollen black and purple bruise. The crying had only made it worse as both his eyes were now bloodshot. Berkeley thought how stupid he was that he didn't notice it before when Palavi had pleaded him not to look.

"_He_ did this to you?"

"Don't-"

"Didn't he!?"

Palavi clenched his burning eyes shut. "I'm tired. Please take me home."

"Palavi, no."

"Then I'll take myself. I'd gotten this far without your help. Why not go the whole way?"

"No... I mean...." Berkeley sighed, picking up Palavi in his arms. "You need a doctor to look at that."

As he started to carry him, Palavi wanted to get away, but he didn't move. He didn't say anything. Instead he nuzzled into the embrace and let Berkeley tote him through the jungle.

"Hey Palavi?" Berkeley inquired quietly.

"Hmm?" Palavi murmured, absentmindedly brushing his knuckles across Berkeley's arm.

"Do you remember what you used to call me? Back when we were kids."

"Ugh... You'd ask me something that embarrassing? Now?"

"Why not?"

"Yes, but I find it's hardly worth mention."

"C'mon... it's not that bad."

"I was but a child then. I've grown up."

Berkeley laughed because he'd always thought that Palavi looked young for his age. Perhaps it was his face; all of the features of it were too small, except for his eyes; in that regard were way too big. It was a face that you could find exotically beautiful or hate it entirely. For Berkeley it was the latter of course. "It's only been three years."

"Long enough _and_ I'm not saying it."

"You may have 'grown up', but your still as stubborn as ever." Berkeley chuckled.

"I hate you..." Palavi glowered.

"Heh heh... liar."

"Look at my face. Do you detect a lie? Hmm?"

"Ah..." Berkeley didn't want to look at Palavi's face, at least not now; it made him angry to do so. However, that wasn't Palavi's fault, so look he did. "It's a very stern face. And do I detect a wrinkle? I mean I know you said you've grown, but Palavi just how old did you get?"

"And I repeat." The orange-haired man growled. "I hate you."

"Wow. How very straight from the heart you are."

Palavi didn't respond to the remark, instead he closed his eyes, and rested his head on Berkeley's chest. "You've grown too. Stronger, kinder, and... with so many friends. True friends." He mused. "I am jealous."

"Why?"

"Because..." Palavi giggled. "They mean more to you than I do."

"That's not-"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make judgments. It's just that..." Palavi looked up at Berkeley; his eyes were clear as day now. The brilliant sapphire's making their first real appearance.

No longer dulled by anger or sorrow, they were at last the same eyes that Berkeley remembered, beautiful. "I've been waiting so long. It was only when I stopped believing you'd come back that you really did. But what hurts the most is that you didn't come for me at all."

"It's true." Berkeley wanted the least to see that hurt in Palavi's eyes again, but lying to him would be worse. "At first."

"I don't understand."

Berkeley sighed and came to a sudden halt. He carefully lowered Palavi onto the ground at the base of a tree. That way he could face him directly as he spoke to him. "I'd forgotten everything I'd ever wanted when I left this place behind. Left _you_ behind. I put you aside and found everything I'd ever wanted. I was able to forget all about you and I never even thought about you for years. Until yesterday..." Berkeley smiled too embarrassed to continue.

"Now I really don't understand..." Palavi said, disappointedly.

"When I saw you again." Berkeley reflected, affectionately brushing Palavi's long curls behind his ear. "I remembered how much I..."

Palavi blushed deeply, touching his cheek where Berkeley had brushed his hand across it.

"Oh for God's sakes! Why is this so freaking hard to say!?" Berkeley groaned. "I love you. Okay? I love you!"

Palavi's expression was a mix of confusion and excitement as he mulled it over. That is before he suddenly burst into tears again.

"Dah! Please don't cry, Palavi!" Berkeley cried desperately trying to console him. But Palavi didn't let up so he did the only thing he could think to do.

Berkeley cupped his hand under Palavi's chin and closed the distance between them, _literally_ and _figuratively_, as his mouth pressed tightly over Palavi's.

Palavi's shoulders tensed for a brief moment before he quickly leaned into the kiss, his hands sliding up Berkeley's chest.

Berkeley smiled slightly, knowing this time for sure that Palavi had never even thought of kissing another man...

Because of how _terrible_ he was at it. He would never tell him that though he'd hoped that he'd get better at it. "That was... um..." Berkeley murmured.

"Am I a bad kisser...?"

"No."

"I am. This isn't how I imagined it at all..."

"Don't worry about it. You'll get it eventually. It takes practice for some people."

"One more chance?" Even though he asked permission Palavi didn't wait to hear if he'd actually gotten it before he pulled Berkeley down for another kiss.

This time was a lot better, Berkeley thought, maybe a little positive enforcement was all Palavi needed.

As the kiss continued Berkeley pulled lightly at Palavi's shirt, marveling at the exposed caramel skin, and began kissing Palavi's neck.

"I love you," Palavi said breathlessly.

Berkeley stopped for a moment to smile at him. However when Palavi looked back at him Berkeley saw something in his face so doubtful. "What's wrong?"

Palavi's eyes adverted to the ground shyly. "I..."

"Was it something I did? Said? You can tell me, Palavi."

"You can start by telling me what you're doing with your hands all over my bride!" Rang Mikayl's angry voice.

By Palavi's shocked expression Berkeley had confirmed it before he'd actually seen for himself. "Damn it..."

"Palavi! Get over here, now..." Mikayl ordered in a very dangerous voice.

Palavi's eyes closed as he thought about what to do next, then they quickly snapped open when he reached a verdict he liked, which could've easily been a grave one for the both of them. "No."

"Excuse me? I believe I just gave you an order."

Berkeley sighed and turned to face the cold amethyst eyes. "He said no. And I don't think you're in the right to be making orders."

Mikayl chuckled darkly. "That's not what I wanted to hear... So I'll just pretend I didn't. Palavi, let's go."

"I don't want to go with you." The impish man said hesitantly. "I... want to stay with Berkeley."

"As if he's been so reliable to you in the past."

"That doesn't matter." Palavi started to rise from where he had been sitting, placing a vacant hand on Berkeley's shoulder. Berkeley, all the while was ready to step in if things got ugly, which they would and it wouldn't be pleasant. "He's here now."

"I don't care where he is! We're getting married tomorrow whether you want to or not. You made your decision."

"Yeah, I did. I just said quite _clearly_ that I want to stay with Berkeley. And you'd actually have to have my agreement to marry you. It's the law."

Mikayl snorted angrily, not taking this turn of events well, and lunged toward the pair. "I'm giving you one minute to change your mind before I change it for you..."

"Threaten away. There's nothing you can do to me that would be worst than what you've already done." Palavi scoffed.

"Believe it. Because you haven't even seen the worst yet."

Berkeley just watched the two go back and forth, getting angrier by the second. He didn't know if Palavi even knew what he was getting them into. He'd just hoped he wasn't trying to get them killed. Mikayl was, as much as he didn't want to admit it, strong. _Frighteningly_ strong. He'd pretty much avoided fighting him his whole life.

"Five... Four..." Mikayl started counting, taking one step closer to Palavi as he did, thinking it made him scarier. It only worked in theory, but it got the point across. "Thee.... _Two_..."

And just as he was a breadth away from knocking Palavi's face into the sand, Berkeley stepped up just in time to block Mikayl's blow, and push him back a couple paces. "You touch him again and I'll make you wish you didn't."

"Only words to my ears. Let's see if you can back them up..." Mikayl smirked, getting into his fighting stance.

As Berkeley went to do the same Palavi grabbed onto his arm, trying to pull him away. "You don't have to do this!"

"What?" Berkeley grinned and kissed the man's forehead. "Defending your honor is something I've always wanted to do." Secretly thinking to himself, _But missed out on..._

With that last regard Palavi backed off to the sidelines. Berkeley knew Palavi couldn't fight Mikayl, he wasn't nearly strong enough... Besides Berkeley thought that he, himself, had more of a chance.

But before he had a moment to think on it any more he received a face-full of Mikayl's fist. He fell to the ground and caught himself by sprawling across the ground on all fours. "That's just like you, Mikayl." He spat.

"Stop talking."

"Oh, right. I forgot you're beyond intelligent conversation." Berkeley growled, jumping back to his feet. He punctuated his anger by punching the giant in the stomach and leaping by before his opponent could get another hit in.

It was amazing how quickly Mikayl recovered as he grabbed Berkeley head and hit it with his own and then kicked Berkeley directly in the chest sending him spinning to the ground.

If he wasn't too busy seeing stars, he would have seen Mikayl going for his throat, but by the time he came to he was being raised in the air and thrown over his opponent's head into a tree.

And if that pain wasn't enough he was picked up again and tossed into yet another tree.

For a moment he could hear Palavi call out to him and Mikayl laughing horribly, but then it was only the blood rushing in his head.

He could vaguely remember Palavi rushing to his side as he swam between consciousness and "la la land".

He couldn't mistake the warm hands resting under his head and the gentle voice speaking to him, could he?

And when he finally came to it was exactly what he had hoped to see.

_Good thing those blows to the head didn't give me brain damage._

"Berkeley, are you alright?" The vision of Palavi was accompanied by words now. Which gave him reassurance that Mikayl didn't kill him, or rather he was really really _really_ dead.

"Yeah, I'm good, and I'm not done yet." Berkeley said stumbling to his feet.

"Are you sure you really want to do that?"

"Positive."

"Wouldn't it be easier to just run away... again?"

"After what you did to him? No way."

"I went easy on him." Mikayl smirked, glancing at Palavi, who turned his head in disgust. "Though next time I'll try to avoid that pretty little face."

"I can't imagine someone as vain as you giving their bride a black eye the day before his wedding..." Berkeley added darkly.

"What better way to let everyone know who's in control?"

At that point Berkeley would've done anything to shut him up. The best way he could think how to do this was to punch him in the throat. So he immediately aimed to do so.

And missed. He didn't hit his throat, but he did get a good shot as his jaw. Which made him growl like angry bear. Swinging wildly and utterly missing Berkeley each time. The purple-haired man had lots of dodging practice while aboard the _Archangel_. Though he did not know why Benji called it "Target Practice"...

Frustrated Mikayl picked up a large stick and began swinging that at Berkeley with little improvement. Berkeley was really just playing with him now, dodging, and tiring him out enough to make another hit. This process went on for another few minutes before Berkeley caught hold of the stick and held it still long enough to get two consecutive blows to Mikayl's face.

Finally Berkeley was able to wrestle the stick away from him and throw it aside. Without his weapon Mikayl froze long enough for Berkeley to keep his advantage and hit Mikayl's chest with a massive blow.

This had only slowed him down, but his punches were becoming more wild and inconsistent. Berkeley had won. He looked to Palavi, the "real" love of his life, as if to say. "I did it."

"Berkeley, look out!" Palavi screamed.

It was too late.

A sharp blade made a home in Berkeley shoulder, it stung as he ripped it out, and tossed it to ground. He ignored the pain as he turned to his rival. He was still very tired from the previous bought, yet who knew he would come so prepared?

Berkeley would wipe that smirk off his face once and for all. And with one final blown to his skull, his opponent fell, and soon after that so did he...

"Berkeley!" came the frightened voice of Palavi. Through blurry vision he could see him, barely...

"Palavi, don't cry anymore, or I'll have to kiss you again." Berkeley laughed, he couldn't feel much where the blade hit him, which probably wasn't a good thing, but it could've just meant he was super human.

"Oh my God. The blood... I need to get you a doctor. Berkeley, stay awake. I'm going to get help. Whatever you do don't go to sleep!" the voice cried. He felt the pressure of cloth on his shoulder and something propping up his head, but vision was fading in and out.

"You should get Benji. He'd know what to do." Berkeley coughed. "He's like... _Jesus_... or somethin'..."

"Oh, you're delirious..." The colors were blending together: blue, orange, olive, green... "Just... Please, don't die!"

Then there was the sound of footfalls in the sand.

Then nothing at all. Black nothingness.

_Don't die... okay... I think I can manage that..._

XXX

Back at the camp the crew was bored to tears. Long since the prospect of torturing Simon became old they began playing cards, which of course, Miguel won each hand.

"I'm sick of this game," Simon grumbled.

"Well then what do you want to play?" Rin asked in annoyance.

At that, Simon grinned. "Five card draw. Winner gets all the, erm... shells, loser gives up all his shells and cooks for the next week, starting after we get off of this island." He smirked. "You in?"

To everyone, but Benji's surprise, Miguel was the first to grin and say, "Deal me in."

Rin opened her mouth, but Benji shook his head. "You don't wanna get in on this, Rin. Trust me."

The game went on uninterrupted all though several natives were now gathered around Simon's cage watching expectantly.

Simon had always prided himself on his poker face, but he had quickly learned that Miguel, usually so prone to facial expression, had an excellent one, as well.

"Okay, if you've got this beat, I'll eat my own head," Simon announced, showing his cards.

Miguel stared at the cards, blinking. "Wow... that... is an amazing hand, Simon. You really are very good..."

Simon smirked.

"But... you're just not good enough."

"...What?'

"By your leave, Mr. Tavadon?" Smiling, Miguel laid down his cards. "Straight royal flush. Read 'em and weep. Very, very _pretty_."

"Ah, you got him with the pretty hand... as usual, right, Miguel?" Seeing the others' puzzled looks, he explained, "That's how he learned to play poker. He just arranged the hand so that he thought it looked pretty and won every time. Now that he knows how to play the game, he creams us on the rare occasion that we can pluck up the courage to play against him."

Simon growled and threw his cards at them.

Benji laughed out loud as Miguel swept all the shells toward himself. "Told you that you didn't wanna play against him, Rin."

"Thanks for that," Rin replied. "Alright. So you guys can play poker. But can you play _Red Dog_?" she asked evilly as 'Bad to the Bone' started playing. Everyone looked around trying to find the source of the sound. "Eddie. Put that away," she said to Eddie as he tried to sheepishly hide his electric ukulele.

"Anyone in?" she asked shuffling the cards. "And just so ya know. I've never lost," she said shuffling the deck. "Any takers?"

"How do you play?" Miguel asked curiously, eager to try a new game. He would probably lose--he had lost his first poker game, too--but that didn't mean he wouldn't try.

"Well first we gotta ante up. You can bet anything from the very least the ante or up to the entire pot..."

Dealing out five cards to Miguel, Benji, Simon and herself. "Alrighty boys. Let's do this thing," she said with a wicked grin.

Sadly, it was not to be. As a very frantic Palavi came running toward them, sweating profusely, with his hands covered in dried blood.

He ran directly to Benji and grabbed his arm, trying to pull him along, clicking in the native tongue.

"What?" Benji sighed, staying put.

Palavi heaved and gesturing to the jungle. "Eh...?"

"Miguel?"

"Yeah, I don't know either."

When it looked like Palavi was about to give up, he fell to his knees and laced his fingers together in a pleading gesture. "H..Hawp... Pwease. Hawp."

"Okay, I know what that means!" Benji shouted, jumping up. "Help where?"

Palavi sighed, very relieved now and took off toward the clearing, where Berkeley was hopefully keeping to his word.

XXX

Thankfully when they arrived Berkeley was awake, but not even close to fine. Benji crouched beside his limp body as Palavi placed his head gently on his lap.

Berkeley looked up at Benji and giggled slightly. "Heh heh. You're like a hamster... or a lizard... or a dolphin or something."

Benji shook his head and looked at Miguel. "We have to get him back to the ship. It's the only way..."

Palavi looked up at Benji expectantly awaiting orders. "Hawp Click-Chloo?"

"Yes. Help... Click-Chloo," Benji said attempting his first try at the "click" language. Palavi nodded to him as he took up the fallen warrior into his arms.

Palavi ran his hand over Berkeley's face as he began to move away.

Only moments later Benji heard the scream and saw the very large man from before. He had one arm around Palavi's shoulders and the other over his neck.

Of course Benji and Miguel were ready to defend him in any way they could, but Berkeley...

Palavi shook his head at them, pleading again. "No. Go! Hawp Click-Chloo!"

Benji hated to leave him there at the mercy of the man he assumed tried to kill Berkeley, but he had responsibility to his crew.

And his family always came first...

XXX

Jiro sighed inwardly as he felt Erik stirring against him, instinctively tightening his hold; he didn't want to let the doctor up. He wanted to wake up with him in the _morning_, for once.

He forced his eyes open, and was immediately disoriented. The sun was just beginning to climb into the sky, painting the horizon varying hues of yellow, orange and pink, and Erik was just beginning his first movements of the morning.

Jiro blinked, then felt a small smile start on his face as memories of the night before came back. The smile soon became ridiculously giddy laughter, and next to him, Erik's brow furrowed and he awoke, staring at Jiro as though seriously frightened for his sanity.

"Morning," Jiro said quietly, the laughter fading.

"Mmm…morning," Erik replied, snuggling happily back to Jiro's side and resting his head on his chest. He sighed heavily. "I have to get up."

Jiro's hold tightened. "No, you don't."

"Yes I do. At least, I do if we ever wanna get out of here. Benji's gonna need some help."

Jiro snorted. "Benji always needs help. Of all kinds."

"…True." Erik gave one more regretful sigh and pushed himself up, starting to search for his clothes.

Jiro watched him for a moment, then reached out to tug on his arm, pulling him into a long, slow kiss. Erik didn't pull away, but reciprocated happily, only pulling away when both started to run out of oxygen. Jiro smiled slightly, and shoved at him lightly. "Go on. Get out of here, you bum. Get off your lazy ass and do some work for once, good God."

Erik burst into laughter and reached for his shirt. "Yessir."

"ERIK!!!!"

"Benji!!" Erik screamed, trying in vain to cover himself. "Get the out of my room!"

"It's _my_ ship and I can go anywhere I waaaaa... Oh... MY... GOD!!! Naked, naked Erik!" Benji screeched, shielding his eyes. "Oh my _freaking _God! Naked Jiro!"

"Benji?" Miguel rushed into the room, poking his lover rapidly. "Benji are you okay!?"

Benji suddenly grabbed hold of Miguel's shoulders, leaning very close to his face; he withdrew a fork from his pocket and held it up to eye-level. "I want you to take this... Take it and drive it _through _my brain!"

"Benji no..."

Finally managing to get his clothes on Erik joined in the conversation again. "Benji, what do you want!?"

Benji turned to the doctor, nearly sobbing. "I want Miguel to drive this through my brain..." he whined in a nasally voice.

Erik groaned and smacked Benji's forehead. "Before that!"

"Oh... I need you to fix it!" the captain explained. He ran out to the deck to retrieve the patient so he could show him to Erik.

Erik looked down at Berkeley and pondered what his next course of action would be. Without another word he picked up the "thing" and threw it overboard.

"DAAAAHHH!!!" Benji screamed. "Erik! What did you doooooo!? He could die out there!"

Erik blinked down at the body floating in the water. "I would, but I'm too paralyzed with not caring very much..."

Jiro suddenly came up behind the crew, also fully clothed, and turned to Erik disapprovingly. "Erik! Go and get him!"

"Fine..." Erik sighed, preparing to jump in the water to save Berkeley. Then, just as he was about to jump he shoved Benji into the water instead. "Benji go get him! Then bring him to the infirmary. I need a new test subject anyways..."

"I HATE YOU!" Benji bellowed from shallow waters. "And now I'm all wet..."

Miguel looked over the edge of the rail as Erik went to go prepare his station. "Don't worry, Benji. I'll get you something dry to put on."

Jiro looked at Miguel and shrugged. It really was just too easy...

SPLASH!!!

"Jiiiiiirrrooooooooooo!" Miguel whined, completely soaked to the bone. "Karma! That's all I'll say to you, my friend. Karma, karma, karma!"

"I don't believe in karma!" Jiro smiled, peering at the red-head pirate as he swam to shore.

"Ooooh... But it believes in you."

"You're not making sense."

It was Benji's turn to reply now, handing Jiro Berkeley's unconscious body. "He rarely does."

Miguel nodded. "Nearly never."

"Uh-huh." Benji shrugged.

"Nope."

Jiro rolled his eyes. "You people need help..."

XXX

**The Archangel Infirmary**

Berkeley stared forlornly out the window as the dark waves rolled by. It had been a couple hours since the fight and he awoke to something unpleasant...

Pain.

It wasn't something he'd experienced often. It had dulled down some now, but every now and again it would rear its ugly head and say, "Hey, I'm Paul and I will be your pain today." Needless to say Berkeley didn't like Paul...

"I'd like to make your life Hell for the next five hours, leave you alone for two seconds, and then come back with a vengeance! Maybe I should invite some friends, watching you cringe is only entertaining the first hundred times... Oh, who am I kidding? Bring on the cringe! Woo hoo!"

"Owww..." Berkeley added in the most agonized way he could muster.

The door to the infirmary opened and closed. A bag of ice landed on his bed and the patient looked up to see Benji who was chuckling.

It was Benji who had brought him back to the ship to make sure that Erik took a look at his injuries. He was grateful, but that didn't stop him from being annoyed at the captain for laughing at him.

Though he was puzzled about the rest. He wanted Palavi by his side, but for some reason he was absent.

Seeing that Berkeley ignored his kind gesture, the captain picked up the bag of ice, and put it on Berkeley's face. "Sooooo... Are you okay?"

"No. I think I'm missing DNA. Or parts of my bone. My stomach feels all funny..." Berkeley growled, picking up the ice, and dropping it back on the bed.

"Being in Erik's care will do that to ya. So! Are you... in pain?" Benji asked, playfully retrieving the ice, he began to play catch with it.

"Yes."

"...What _kind_ of pain?"

"PAIN!"

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. That's what the ice is for, silly." Benji laughed, holding up the bag, doing his best Vana White impression. "To numb the pain."

"I don't want the ice."

"It'll make you feel better..."

"I don't want the ice. So drop it."

"Kay." Benji shrugged, literally dropping the ice on the floor. "Well... you wanna talk about it?"

"No, I do not want to talk about it."

"Right... So?"

"We're not going to talk about it..."

"And.."

"I can't believe we're going to talk about this..." Berkeley groaned, rolling his eyes.

"So what's on your mind?" Benji asked, pulling up a chair.

"I..."

"Go on."

"I need to stay here. With Palavi. Maybe not forever, but until he's ready to leave."

"So you _want_ to stay?"

"It doesn't matter what I want. I have to stay here or else. Well, you saw..."

"Scary guy with the muscles."

"What? Yeah, his name's Mikayl. And he wants to force Palavi to marry him. Palavi... he's not submissive or anything, but he's not a fighter either. I can't leave him to a fate like that. And besides I... love him."

"Then you should stay."

"Benji, I don't want to leave _Archangel_!"

"Then don't stay."

"What do _you_ want me to do?"

"I want you to do what I would if I were you, Berkeley."

"And that would be?"

"What I usually do. I make a decision." Benji explained. "And usually no matter what decision I make my crew stands for it too. Even if it's the wrong one. Which, every time, it undeniably is..." Benji nodded. "At least I know that at the end of the day my crew is still standing beside me. And no matter how badly I screw up Miguel will always be there to say something nice."

"That's dependable..."

"He usually is."

"So what you're saying is that if someone, like Miguel, would stand by you. Then you should do your best to stand by him?"

"If I knew that would I be stalling right now?" Benji asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"I think I know what I'm going to do."

"Wait... are you still thinking as if you were me?"

"I don't think so."

"Good... because when you said 'I think I know what I'm going to do' you'd be wrong. Because _I_ never know what I'm going to do next. Even if I thought I did it never goes according to plan."

"Well its good thing that I'm not you then."

"Good. Then I should probably tell you that your Palavi was kidnapped by that Mikayl guy after we picked you up."

'WHAT!?"

"Don't be mad."

"Ugh, no doubt Mikayl's..." Berkeley shuddered at the thought. "I said I'd protect him."

"You were bleeding to death... Besides it's the dead of night. You need to rest up. Then you can save Palavi. You're no good to him now so just try and get some sleep." Benji said, heading for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To Miguel. So _I _can sleep."

"Oh sure... you can sleep... because you don't have a conscience!"

"Nighty night!"

That night Berkeley did sleep, but it certainly wasn't nightmare free...

XXX

**Palavi's Hut**

Palavi didn't know what he was thinking. Besides "I love Berkeley" he hadn't really given much thought to anything else and now he was starting to see the consequences.

It really couldn't be helped. Besides everything else he'd ever had was taken from him.

It all started when he was twelve years old, when his mother left, he didn't remember why she did. His father would never say.

Four years after that Berkeley left.

Two years later his father got sick.

One week ago he gave up his freedom to marry Mikayl.

And only an hour ago he'd lost Berkeley again. Maybe this time for good.

He could only remember running his hand over his face as he faded out of his life. Everything else after that point had become unimportant. Mikayl hadn't hurt him this time. Maybe he really _was _too vain to have his bride looking less than perfect.

Moments passed.

He didn't know what he was thinking.

Mikayl had been angry. Palavi had always been so scared of him. Even now he was scared.

But he guessed it really didn't matter now. Before long he'd get used to feeling this way. It wouldn't be hard.

He could learn to be kept, he figured.

If he could learn to be without the one he loved he could do anything.

He ran his fingers across his mother's wedding dress. Tomorrow it would be his. A knot twisted in his stomach as he stared deeply into the green silk.

"Palavi?" From the doorway Palavi's father gazed at him, he had good days and bad days, seeing as he could walk today it was a good one.

"Father, you should be resting," the caring son said rushing over to help him to a chair. "I worry about you."

His father simply laughed. "I worry about you, too."

"You shouldn't." Palavi smiled half heartedly.

"Ah, your mother's wedding dress. I should hope it fits you. You've gotten so skinny. Do you still eat or is starving some new fad with you kids?"

"I eat enough to survive." Palavi scoffed. "And I'll fit just fine, thank you."

"I just don't know."

"I assure you the dress will fit."

"Not about that."

"Oh?"

"I wonder who will take care of you when I'm gone."

"Dad, my husband will, of course."

"No. I see the way he treats you and I don't like it."

"It's just..."

"I'm old. I'm not stupid."

"Okay!" Palavi sighed, trying to dig for his emotions. "He... beats me... is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Could've fooled me."

"You knew?"

"How could I not? You're here every day. You don't think I wouldn't notice all the bruises you've gotten ever since you became engaged to that loser? I'm sorry. What I meant to say was since you've been engaged to that 'asshole'."

"Well. I would like to tell you that Berkeley and I are in love. I would like to, but he's going back to his crew and there's no way he's staying here. He likes his freedom and I'm like some kind of cage to him."

"I don't think he's afraid of cages. I believe Berkeley is, to put it simply, running."

"Running?"

"Yes. And the one afraid of cages would be you."

"Me...?"

"You don't want to get married to the jerk because it means you'll be trapped. If he makes you feel that way then don't marry him. I'd feel a lot better if you didn't."

"But what about your dying wish?"

"My what?"

"You said your dying wish was to see me get married!"

"Palavi I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. I'm hallucinating half the time and the one time you decide to listen is when I'm babbling about marriage?"

"I'm screwed."

"Big time. Any chance that I might... die tomorrow?"

"Funny. I was about to ask you the same thing."

"But seriously?"

"Oh, I was being serious."

"Palavi..."

"I don't know. I suppose what is meant to happen will happen. If I'm meant to be trapped then it's the way it was intended to be."

"My new dying wish is to die before that happens..."

XXX

The morning was bright and sunny as any morning on Crazy Frog Island; Palavi had half hoped the day would reflect how he felt, but no such luck. He sighed inwardly as he dragged himself out of bed. The whole entire night had been restless for him. _Good_, he thought, _I'll look like crap! How's that for silver lining?_

And just when he thought there would be no saving him from the ugly... the bridesmaids appeared.

_Curses!_

Heck, it's not like he didn't like the women, he didn't even know them. And they had no idea that by beautifying him they were ruining his evil plan.

"And we need to do something with your hair..." said the older girl with the bubblegum pink hair. In his head Palavi had named her respectfully Bridesmaid number one.

"My hair is wonderful. I do it like this all the time..." Palavi suggested, ready to claw off his own face if the occasion called for it.

"Which is my point. This is your 'special' day right? A special occasion calls for some effort," number one said chipperly, going for the hairbrush from hell.

"Oh yeah. It's a _special_ day alright."

"That's the spirit!" commented Bridesmaid numero du. She had neon green hair that Palavi was sure, if you stared at it long enough, would cause you to lose the ability to see that color ever again. "Now where did I put the paint...?"

"The... paint?" Palavi inquired.

"For that nasty thing on your face, dear," the third and final Bridesmaid said. This girl was surprisingly normal, black hair and tan skin. Probably his favorite person in the room thus far. Only because she wasn't going at his head with torture devices. She had been sitting in the corner calmly, barely saying anything, as she altered his mother's dress. Apparently it did need to be taken in.

"Yeah. It's horrible. Wanna hear how I got it?" Palavi glared at his own reflection.

"Not now, sweetie. I'm just going to add a little bit of color to the area. To take the focus off," number two continued.

"Sensational... thank you..." Palavi droned.

"The dress is finished. Would you like to put it on?"

However, the question went unanswered as Mikayl entered the room.

"It'_s unlucky_ to see the bride before the ceremony." Bridesmaid number one giggled as she tore outseveral strands of Palavi's hair.

"Oh, good. Mikayl, won't you come in?" Palavi said in false cheer.

"Ladies, would you excuse us?" Mikayl said in the most winning tone he could muster.

Numbers one and two began to giggle as number three let without a word. Soon after the other two finally left, but not before adding in a "Try not mess up his hair and make-up too much."

Like they had any idea...

Palavi immediately turned to the mirror. Avoiding direct eye contact was best in these types of situations. "Is there something you needed?"

He didn't know what this was about, but he could see from the corner of the mirror a hint of a smirk pulling at Mikayl's lips. He walked over to Palavi's chair and rested both hands on the bride's shoulders. "This is what I've always wanted. To be married to you. Are you not happy?"

The hands moved to Palavi's cheeks, gently turning his face to look up at the mirror, to see himself and Mikayl leering over his shoulder.

"I want you to be happy..."

"Because, of course, marrying you _should_ make me happy?"

The false smile quickly turned into a scowl.

"I'm not happy and I'm not marrying you. I love Berkeley and you're a fool if you think you can come between us..."

The scowl that Palavi thought would get darker changed back into a smile. "You look very beautiful today." And without another word he walked away leaving Palavi both very confused and frightened.

_Berkeley, you'd better come save me or I swear to the volcano goddess I will haunt you till the end of days..._

_But really... Please save me!_

XXX

Simon was having a rotten existence. One, he was _not_ being rescued. Two, Rin had taken it upon herself to get a front row seat to the ceremony. She was enjoying this...

And she would pay dearly if he could figure out how to untie himself and escape.

_Yeah, no problem._

"Hey cavewoman! Any chance of you actually doing something to help me?"

Rin smiled and pulled out a bag of marshmallows. "Nope."

"Gee, thanks."

"Welcome!" she replied, popping a marshmallow into her mouth.

The ceremony was about to begin. Everything was in place at the base of the volcano. Palavi came soon enough, half dragged by two persistent Bridesmaids.

Through all his efforts of trying not to be pretty he was still a vision of loveliness. His spiraled orange hair had been tamed into a loose bun with some curls cascading down to frame his face. The top of his dress was emerald green that stopped just above his midriff and continued into a light blue sarong. Transparent blue fabric was wrapped around his shoulders and the entire gown.

Though the magnificent blue eyes were now, more than ever, were completely devoid of any emotion. They were simple pools of water. _Empty._

The wedding ceremony wasn't like any wedding ever seen. There were no vows or exchanges of "I dos." Heck, they didn't even give Simon a chance to object!

Many strange rituals passed, some weirder than others, until it came down to the moment where Palavi and Mikayl were to finalize their union with a kiss.

As Mikayl leaned forward to force Palavi to kiss him there came a resounding. "I OBJECT!"

Everyone looked around to see what the source of the noise was only to find Berkeley, alive and well, and certainly as dashing as any pirate could hope to be.

Palavi snapped back to reality when he saw Berkeley again. He could barely contain his excitement as he leapt forward only to be pulled back by Mikayl.

"Really? That's the best you've got?" Mikayl snorted.

Benji smirked as he came up behind Berkeley, Miguel at his side.

"No." Berkeley shrugged. "This is..."

Suddenly Rin burst from her seat, producing a cannon out of thin air. "Ka-BOOM!"

"Where were you keeping that!?" Simon exclaimed only to get poked by Smalls. "Do I have to tell you again!?"

Smalls pouted and recoiled.

Rin simply smirked and tossed her hair back. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Even Simon couldn't deny that Rin was starting to look very sexy to him; however, he would try denying it anyway. Because if Rin was starting to look good then he _really _needed to get laid...

Palavi ripped himself away from Mikayl's grip long enough to pull his hair down from the bun it had been tangled into. The curls floundered free as he shouted to Berkeley. "You came for me!"

"Of course I did!"

Palavi smiled and began to run toward him before Mikayl could catch him again. The orange-haired man jumped into Berkeley's arms and hugged him tightly. "You came, you came, you came."

"Ow. Shoulder. Palavi. Pain. Ow."

"Sorry..." Palavi drew back, allowing a single tear to fall down his cheek.

"What did I tell you about crying?"

Palavi laughed. "I forget... would you _remind_ me?"

Berkeley complied by gathering Palavi to his chest and kissing him deeply.

It was the most perfect kiss he'd ever been a part of.

And it appeared to be quite a show because everyone was cheering for the entire duration of it.

"I love you, Berkeley Jay Shawn Taylor."

"And I love you Palavi Welui." Berkeley chuckled, scooping the man into his arms. "Forever and ever."

"Hey!" Simon screamed through the excitement. "If these guys don't cut me loose, I will shove my foot so far down your throat that-"

Rin immediately stepped forward to cover his mouth. "The nature of this content is not suitable for children."

Palavi blinked at Simon and turned to Berkeley. "What'd he say?"

"That he's... happy for us."

"Oh! I almost forgot." Palavi waved at the guards. "You can let him go now. We won't be needing him anymore!"

The guard did as they were told. Smalls got in one last good poke before the angry Simon was set loose.

"Hey, Berks!" Benji shouted, "What should we do with him?"

During the excursion Benji and Miguel managed to trounce Mikayl into submission. Now he was getting himself well-acquainted with the sand while Miguel sat on his back, poking Mikayl's head with his big toe. "Fear the feet, loser..."

"To the volcano!!!" Berkeley cheered as the entire tribe moved as one to the mouth of the volcano.

What Benji's crew saw when they got there wasn't what they'd been expecting.

There, at the very top of the dormant volcano, was a throne. And on that throne was a very familiar newt-loving whack job.

"Hey! I've been sitting up here patiently waiting for days! I know I said I wouldn't tell you guys how to do your jobs, but _really!_ Now where's my newts!?"

The tribe began to bow to her and click in unison.

"Um..." Berkeley turned to Palavi. "What's she doing here?"

"That's the Goddess of the Volcano! She appeared here last week as the prophecy foretold!" Palavi said as he too began to bow.

"Nooo. That's the freaky newt lady." He said, hastily pulling Palavi away from the crowd.

"The what?"

"Stop your useless bowing and get me some newts! You can worship me once I've eaten!!!" Keiko screeched.

Berkeley turned to the crew as they all gestured to Keiko mouthing the words, "What the hell?"

"HEY! YOU THERE!"

Berkeley turned back to Keiko, who had pinned her eyes on him. "You're from that boat!"

"Um…it's a ship, ma'am…" Benji corrected weakly, and then fell silent when she glared at him.

"SEMANTICS!" she spat with disgust. "Who needs 'em? It floats, doesn't it? Now explain what you're doing on my island!"

"Gee, it became her island awfully fast, didn't it?" Berkeley whispered to Benji, and then fought the urge to writhe in terror when Keiko lifted her spear and pointed it at him.

"YOU! Bring forth the newts!"

"Um…I…I don't have any newts, ma'am…" Berkeley said, as meekly as anyone had ever heard him speak.

"WHAT?! Who on earth walks around without a jar of newts on them these days?! WHAT KIND OF WORLD AM I LIVING IN?!" Keiko bellowed.

"….Um?"

"Okay, FINE! Someone form a hunting party and get me my dinner already!" When they hesitated, she bellowed again. "NOW!"

The speed with which the natives obeyed made the crew members feel slightly better—at least they weren't the only ones a little scared of the old woman.

"You know what?" Keiko said, her voice surprisingly calm now. "I don't really care what you're doing here. Stay, or don't. Just don't eat my newts." And then she turned all of her attention and focus on the spear she held in her hands, staring fixedly at it and muttering something about "Yusuke…rat bastard…shoving me on a boat with no newts…stranding me on an island with a bunch of idiots who don't have ENOUGH newts…stupid Yusuke and his stupid face…"

Benji inched away from the crowd—Keiko didn't even notice—waving to the crew to follow.

Simon was already way ahead of them, Rin in step with him, throwing marshmallows at him.

Miguel waited for Benji as Berkeley approached them. "Berks... you coming?"

Berkeley shook his head. "Nah. My place is here with Palavi."

Benji sighed. "Staying here then?"

Palavi looked at them, going back and forth, trying to figure out what they were saying.

"Staying here."

"Staaa... ang?" Palavi repeated, trying to get a feel for the word, though he didn't know what it meant in their language.

Berkeley chuckled and brought his hand to Palavi's cheek. "It means I'm staying with you, freak."

"Hugglemuffins!!!" Palavi cheered, wrapping his arms around Berkeley's waist.

Benji quirked his brow. "Hugglemuffins, huh?"

"Yeeeeaaaahhhh.... 'bout that."

"No need to explain. I guess I'm saying goodbye, then. Well..." Benji smiled, starting down the path. "...See ya around."

"Maybe sooner than you think!" Berkeley called down to him.

"Buh-bye Berkeley! I'm gonna miss you!" Miguel said, hugging Berkeley. Next he turned to shake Palavi's hand. Then quite fluently he "clicked" to the couple "Send lots of letters!" This was his final order in the native tongue before running after his partner.

"What's a letter?" Palavi asked Berkeley.

Berkeley smiled and picked Palavi up. "Another subject for another time."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a secret..."

"Does this secret involve clothes?" Palavi grinned.

"Nope."

"Yeah... I knew it. My father is _not_ going to be happy about this..."

XXX

Later that afternoon the Archangel finally set sail with very much praise to Monroe for a job well done. And after Benji was done yelling aimlessly at everyone, only out of love, he retired to his room for the night.

Miguel soon followed.

"Miguel... Berkeley's gone..." Benji sighed and stared out the window of his cabin.

Miguel said nothing as he crawled across the mattress over to where Benji sat.

"The one thing I thought I could _never_ get rid of... is gone..."

The redhead leaned on the Cuban's broad shoulder and exhaled softly. "Maybe it was time. I'd understand if you were sad-"

"I'm not sad."

"Benji..."

"He was a nuisance. I couldn't stand him, anyway. He was loud. And clingy. And he was... he was... he was always... Berkeley..."

"It's okay if you miss him, Benji," Miguel whispered.

The captain took a long mournful breath. He heard a strangled hiccup come from Miguel's general direction. And like clockwork he gathered Miguel to his chest before the first of the pale Spaniard's tears could make it down his cheeks. "Shhhh... It'll be all right. I'm gonna miss him, too. I mean, who else is gonna eat all the foreign objects we find under the fridge?"

The freckled individual giggled through the oncoming tears, more happy than sad now, but even so he couldn't stop crying. "Did you get to say goodbye at least?"

"Yeah... it was weird."

"Awkward weird or..."

"No, just... weird. Like I was losing something... vital..."

"That sounds weird..."

"Or... maybe I'm just hungry."

"Dirty..." Miguel snorted.

Benji gasped. "Miguel! For shame..."

Batting his eyelashes, the redheaded beauty tilted his head. "Who? Me?"

Before Miguel could say anymore the white-haired pirate had him pinned to the bed. "You're so cruel to me..." he whispered, becoming dangerously close to his partner's lips.

"Well I don't know about that..." Miguel smiled coyly. "But just for my amusement... How cruel am I really?"

"Very... Now can we...?" Benji hummed, his voice drifting off as he became closer to touching his lips to Miguel's. Until he was quite suddenly romancing Miguel's pillow, for the real Miguel was now sitting cross-legged on the edge of the bed.

"Really, Benji. You're going to be okay, right?"

Benji, in response, face planted onto the bed. "Yes, I'm okay..." he mumbled into the mattress. "I'd be even better if you would get over here, you little temptress."

"How okay...? On a scale of one to ten, ten being the greatest."

"I am... watching Simon being sacrificed, if it actually happened, okay."

"Good. Just for the record though... That would have been really spectacular, right? Oh... don't tell Erik I said that."

"Why?"

"Because I'm supposed to be the sympathetic one."

"Nah, it just goes to show that you're just as cynical and mean-spirited as the rest of us."

Miguel smirked. "Yeah, I am, aren't I? Well then..." he whispered seductively.

"Goodnight!"

"But you're also really caring and sympathetic to your lover's needs..." Benji pouted. "And I'm really _sad_, ya know..."

Miguel rolled his eyes and smiled despite his best effort. "Get over here... And don't hog all the covers like last night!"

"Take all the covers? Don't mind if I do!"

"Bennnjiiii!"

* * *

_Authors' Note: Believe it or not we'd never thought it'd come to this when we'd started writing this story. We created the character "Berkeley" to be the total embodiment of every character we've ever hated—literally down to every last name, "Berkeley Jay Shawn Taylor." He was meant to be expendable. However, somehow he'd gotten into the next story. We're still not sure how..._

_Now he has his own chapter, back story, love interest, and even an enemy. Whoa! None of us knew he'd ever get this much air time..._

_By the way this whole chapter was written in, like, two weeks. I kid you not. Somehow the procrastinators did it. Don't know how that happened either..._

_And don't worry fans (*echo* ...fans... fans...?) The next chapter is already underway. Hopefully we finish it soon!_

_Oh, and sorry about the length of the chapter. It's hard to fit an entire sub-plot into one chapter and keep it short. But for people who like long chapters—well, look, a present!_

_One more thing! Reviews inspire us. Just so ya know... _(hints)_ It helps us write better... when we... get reviews..._


	14. I Have No Words

A/N: Due to the fact that Ava wrote this chapter, the slapstick comedy is…nil. She sucks at comedy and excels in flangst. Forgive her, please?

A/N II: Li wants Ava to know she made her cry during this chapter! And for that *points* you people should not forgive her! She doesn't deserve it! Just kidding, love.

Chapter 14

Li: Y'know, it just occurred to me…

Ava:Oh, God, she's having thoughts.

Adara**: **Li, we talked about this…

Li:** ignores** This movie is probably the most ridiculously, awesomely awful thing ever created in the history of ever.

Ava and Adara: **blink blink**

Li: Think about it!

Ava: **ponders** Yeah, she's…kind of right, sis. I mean, there's no historical accuracy—

Adara: No clearly defined plan—

Li: Very little plot—

Adara: A complete disregard for period language—

Ava: And no redeeming social quality whatsoever.

Li: …No wonder no one talks to us.

Adara: Well, I like us, anyway.

**A random PA comes over.**

Li: What?

PA: **bows** We've finished copying the script edits, milady.

Li: **takes** Thank you. Now begone, slave.

PA: **scurries away**

Adara: …What the hell was that?

Li: What?

Ava: That.

Li: What?

Adara: "Begone, slave"? WTF?

Li: …That's what he was.

Ava: No. He was a PA.

Li: **looks blank**

Ava: …Never mind. Scripts, please.

Li: …I don't wanna give them to you now.

**Adara and Ava growl and tackle her, and they all fall down in a heap of limbs.**

Li: **manages to get Rico Suave to her mouth **Aaaaaaand…ACTION!!!

Kurama: **watching** **the spectacle **They all used to be so normal…

Hiei: Yup.

XXX

_Benji was dreaming._

_Some part of him knew it for a fact, but he just couldn't bring himself to care; this particular dream was more of a memory, and because it involved Miguel, it was an unequivocally pleasant one._

_It had happened on a Monday. Benji would always remember, because up until that point of his ten-year history, it had always been his least favorite day._

_So as he walked, Benji pondered the weather and Mondays; his doing so was interrupted, however, when something very unexpected happened._

_A most unwelcome object fell from the sky and landed directly on his noggin. The thing happened to be a little, beige sandal. Simple, and yet it begged to be noticed._

_The sandal of self-proclaimed importance, if it could speak, would have said, "Hello there! Yes, I know I'm terribly fascinating, but now I would like for you to look up!"_

_So he did._

_Up, where the shoe had come from, was a tree. On that tree was a branch. And clinging to that branch was a boy._

_At least, he __thought__ it was a boy. He couldn't see him…her…it…very well. He could definitely pinpoint, though, that there was something vaguely boy-shaped hanging onto the tree limb for dear life._

_"Excuse me," Benji called, fetching the sandal from the grass. "Is this yours?"_

_"…Uh-huh," the boy said nervously. At that point Benji was still assuming it was a boy; it __could__ have been a girl, he supposed, but he was almost positive that what he heard was the voice of a boy. "I've been stuck in this tree for hours..."_

_"Well, why'd you climb up there in the first place?"_

_"I saw a butterfly and I was so excited because I don't see them very much anymore. And then it flew away so I followed it up and up and up into the tree, but now I can't get down."_

_"Did you try to climb down?"_

_"I'm scared..."_

_"Can you jump down?"_

_"It's too high. I'd get hurt."_

_"What if I catch you?"_

_"How do I know for sure that you'll catch me?"_

_"You can trust me."_

_"I...don't know," the boy said, wrapping himself tighter around the branch. "I don't want to jump."_

_"What's your name?" Benji asked._

_The boy turned his head to look at Benji. Though Benji could only make out a person-shaped lump, it seemed the other boy had a perfect view of what Benji looked like. "I'm...Miguel."_

_The white-haired boy smiled toward the branch, tossing the sandal aside and outstretching his arms. "Miguel, if you jump, I'm going to catch you. And if I miss for any reason, I will sit by your bedside and send you good, healing thoughts."_

_"Really?" _

_"Actually, the truth is, I would run away very quickly so the guilt can't be pinned on me." He chuckled._

_"Oh…Well, your honesty is nice!"_

_"But I won't miss."_

_"Promise?"_

_"I wouldn't dare not to."_

"_Okay. I'm letting go…__now__!"_

_And the boy fell, his arms flying out with abandon. His sleeves caught the air and he looked like a baby bird trying to fly for the first time._

_And just as Benji had promised, he caught Miguel. (Who was, as he had guessed, a boy.) Only he didn't expect what he saw when he looked at Miguel for the first time. _

_Miguel wasn't like anyone he'd ever seen before._

_From the first time his eyes fluttered open to reveal sparkling, emerald eyes, Benji knew that he would never see anyone like him again._

_"Miguel," Benji said softly, heart pounding with adrenaline._

_Miguel, who still was trying to catch his own breath, nodded back. "You saved me from the tree. Thank you...um...what's your name?"_

_"Benji."_

_Miguel sat up, brushing back the overgrown bangs that had fallen into his eyes, only to have them fall again when he leaned forward. "Benji. You look like a Benji," Miguel decided. He began to giggle, as sun-kissed freckles lit up every feature of his pale face. "Benji..."_

_Benji, much to his own surprise, leaned closer to Miguel. Their faces were so close to each other that their foreheads and noses touched. "You're very shiny."_

_"I'm not...shiny." Miguel pouted. "Metal is shiny, jewelry is shiny... __People__ can't be shiny."_

_Benji smiled and placed his chin on Miguel's speckled shoulder. "Can I keep you?"_

_The childishness of the question was absurd, but not to Benji. Not to Miguel._

_"Y...yes."_

_"BENJAMIN CARLOS GUEVARA!" a little girl shouted from across the way. Her choppy black hair framed her face in a classically beautiful way, but even __that__ looked angry as she strode purposefully toward them._

_Benji laughed. "That's Jillian. She's my—" He stopped because he noticed he was talking to no one. Only a beige sandal._

_And as Benji knelt to pick it up, he wondered if he would ever see Miguel again._

_The sandal was the only one that knew he would._

XXX

Benji's brow furrowed as he felt himself begin to wake up, and he could tell immediately by the cold air at his side that the space next to him was empty. That was unusual; Miguel usually liked to wake up with his lover.

Every muscle protesting, the captain rolled out of bed, hit the floor on his stomach, and climbed regretfully to his feet. Even the _floor_ had been more attractive than getting up and facing the day.

But Miguel wasn't in the cabin, so face the day he must, if only to find his momentarily lost lover.

As it turned out, the redhead hadn't ventured far—only to the brig, where he was helping Erik finish the inventory that had gotten, er…_interrupted_. Miguel smiled as Benji came up behind him and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"You snuck out."

Miguel chuckled. "I got up and left. It's not my fault you snore too loud to hear anything else over the racket."

Benji pouted. "Meanie."

"Yes."

"We docking soon?"

"Yup. We've already spotted land. I give it another half hour or so, if everyone's doing what they're supposed to."

"…So I have a couple more hours to sleep, is what you're saying."

Miguel rolled his eyes. "Yes, Benji, that's exactly what that means." He turned and dropped a sack of beans into Benji's arms. "Help Erik. I'm getting coffee."

"Heeeeey!"

XXX

_The second time Benji and Miguel met, Miguel quickly figured out just how easy Benji was to handle—provided that the handler was beautiful, of a (__very__) distant Irish descent, and sported red hair and a voice that sounded like the quiet tinkling of bells._

Great, I sound like I've swallowed a romance novel.

_Maybe he had. It was the only possible explanation for why, when he spotted Miguel from his secluded little corner at a local noble's party, Benji's heart skipped a beat. After all, Benji didn't like boys that way. Or girls, for that matter._

_Benji didn't really like __anyone__, come to that… At the mature age of eleven, he was already as jaded and cranky as a seventy-year-old homeless man._

_But he liked Miguel._

"…_Benji?"_

_Benji blinked. He did it again. Nope, it wasn't a hallucination; Miguel was now standing right in front of him, staring confusedly at him with those soft green eyes that had haunted his dreams for the past six months._

"_What are you doing here?"_

"…_I was invited…?" Benji replied, as though Miguel were a bit slow and in need of assistance to reach the point of the conversation. It was a tone that Miguel would soon turn around on him, and use at least once a minor argument and in any situation that he felt Benji needed to be mocked in._

_Benji would learn to love that tone._

_Miguel blinked. "Oh. Right."_

_They stood there staring at each other for a moment, feeling awkward for not feeling awkward, until a slow waltz started and most of the party moved onto the dance floor; only a few widowed nobles and most of the children remained against the walls or at the tables._

"_Wanna dance?"_

_Benji stared at him, but the blank look had nothing to do with the absurdity of a nine-year-old boy asking an eleven-year-old-boy to waltz at him. That thought never crossed his mind, truth be told. "…I don't know how."_

_Miguel smiled at that. "I'll teach you."_

"_Um…okay." It wasn't that he was afraid of the idea of the dancing itself; it was more that he was terrified of embarrassing himself in front of what could very possibly be the most beautiful human being he'd ever seen in his life._

_Miguel gave him a reassuring smile and took his hand. "Don't worry. No one will laugh."_

You might.

_He hadn't said that aloud, but it was a close thing._

_That was the last thought he had time for before they were whirling away onto the dance floor. Benji was clumsy at first, but he picked up the steps quickly; Miguel, meanwhile, danced as though he'd done it his entire life—which, Benji reminded himself, he probably had._

"_Where did you learn to do this?"_

_Miguel laughed, and that, too, sounded like a silver bell chiming. "You can hire a tutor for practically anything in this city, provided you have enough money."_

"_Ah."_

_They danced in silence for a moment, before Benji spoke again. "So, noticed anything missing lately?"_

_Miguel looked at him as though he'd gone crazy. "Um?"_

_Benji chuckled. "You left your shoe by the tree."_

_Miguel looked momentarily confused. Then his eyes went wide. "Oh. Oops."_

"_Do you seriously have _that_ many shoes, that you didn't notice one was gone?"_

"_Well…yes, if you must know."_

_Benji roared with laughter._

_Miguel glared. "Shut up."_

"_But you're such a _girl_!"_

"_I said shut up."_

XXX

They'd danced the night away that evening, and at the end of the night, the goodbyes had had an air of impermanence; both had known it wouldn't be the last time they saw each other.

Even then, they'd known where they were going.

XXX

"Okay, I think we're finished."

Miguel clapped his hands happily. "Yay! Lunchtime!"

Erik chuckled and shook his head as he followed the energetic redhead out of the brig. "You could always wait until we dock and go to a tavern."

Miguel looked absolutely scandalized.

"…Right. Forget I said anything."

The redhead opened his mouth to reply, but had it closed for him rather abruptly when he was tackled from the side by a blur of tan, green, and white.

"BEEEEEN-_JI_!"

Benji grinned down at his lover, who was now pinned between his arms on the deck. "You need to work on your reflexes, love."

Erik rolled his eyes. "Benji, get off him."

"No."

"Yes," Miguel replied.

"No."

"_Yes_!" Miguel and Erik shouted together.

Benji blinked. "…No."

Erik threw up his hands in disgust. "Whatever. I'm getting food." And he did just that, his shoulders shaking with what looked suspiciously like laughter.

Benji watched him go, then looked back down at Miguel with a predatory grin. "Alone at last…"

Miguel raised an eyebrow at him. "We were alone _all night_, Benji. We're alone _all the time_. We need to _not_ be alone anymore."

"Bite your tongue!"

"…I could… Or…"

The little grin on his face was just too enticing for Benji to ignore, and he swooped down for a kiss as both of them fell back into fantasy once more…

XXX

_Their relationship flourished in ways that neither one could have known to expect._

_The week after the party, they ran into one another on the street—that is to say, Benji mildly stalked Miguel through the city until the redhead turned around and noticed him trailing behind. Unfortunately, Benji's perpetual tagalong, Jillian, was trailing behind the trailer, which led to all sorts of disagreeable circumstances._

_But Jillian was, if anything, Benji's __better__ half, and the three formed a fast and lasting friendship. They did absolutely everything together—a fact that may have been frowned upon if all three hadn't been decent, high-society children who, on the surface, showed absolutely no concern for anything other than the most mundane and superficial practicalities of life._

_In the presence of their families, they remained absolutely limitless in their materialism, their carelessness, and their steadfast disdain for all things ugly, cheap, or otherwise low-class._

_The pages of their lives bore striking contrast to the covers, however. The three soon learned the benefits of exploring different quarters of the city than their own, and they began to haunt previously unknown and uncharted places with an almost supernatural devotion._

_At eleven, Miguel began a "school" for the young children of poverty-stricken families, gathering with them in a convenient cave well-hidden in the rocky cliffs by the beach outside the city, and teaching them important skills such as reading, writing, basic arithmetic, history, and geography as well as he could at such an early age. Benji—always eager to help however he could—taught them fencing, archery, shooting, and hand-to-hand combat to the best of his abilities, and Jillian reveled in the opportunity to impart her vast knowledge of art on those less fortunate—though certainly no less intelligent—than herself._

_But the innovations didn't stop there._

_Miguel possessed a boundlessly charitable nature and an unquenchable will to do good, and having true, undyingly loyal friends at his side sparked an audacity in him that he'd never known before. It was as though knowing he had someone at his back gave him the courage to look forward, and to act on what he saw and felt._

_Small gifts began finding their way onto the doorsteps and into the homes of his most impoverished and unfortunate "students"—sometimes clothes, sometimes bits of candy and other treats, sometimes whatever wholesome foods he could sneak away from the dinner table, or sometimes simply small pouches of coins._

_It was as though good fairies had descended upon that little seaside city, and for a short, shining while, the little troupe's happiness and goodwill knew no bounds._

_Meanwhile, Miguel and Benji's relationship developed slowly but steadily, much to Jillian's secret amusement. That good young lady stood by and watched cheerfully as her two closest friends began the process of phasing her out, any sorrow she might have felt over her third-wheel status being firmly and completely eclipsed by her sincere wish to see her friends happy._

_And happy they were…_

_They might have known it couldn't possibly last._

XXX

"CANNON BAAAAAAAAAAALL!"

Benji yelped loudly as Rin dropped from the rigging and onto his shoulders, then bounced off and landed smoothly on her feet on the deck.

"Morning, Rin."

"Mornin'." She took a swig from her mug of beer. "It's too early for that, y'all. Go do something useful with your time, good God."

Benji scowled mockingly, removing the drink from her hand and taking a gulp. "Don't you have someplace to be, monkey?"

"Nope."

"...Well, then, _find_ someplace to be, and be there."

Rin growled good-naturedly and bounced away, careful to knock the mug out of the captain's hands as she skipped past.

Miguel laughed. "I love you people...so very, very much..."

"Good to know someone does," Benji replied, kicking the mug aside and sweeping his lover back into his arms. "Now, where were we?"

Miguel opened his mouth, fully intent on replying...when a bit of dust flew up his nose.

"I—I don't—A-a-a-CHOO!"

Benji squealed loudly and clapped his hands. "Do it again! Do it again do it again do it again!"

Miguel shook his head. "Sorry. You have work to do."

"...But...but...but..."

"No buts, Benji! _Work_!"

"... But—"

XXX

_6:47 A.M._

_An hour and seventeen minutes late._

_Miguel hated it when Benji kept him waiting, even though it was always worth the wait. It was the principle of the thing._

_Suddenly, as if in direct reply to his thoughts, a familiar pair of arms wrapped around him. _

_He fought the urge to shout. His efforts weren't in vain; only a small "Eep!" escaped his lips._

_One arm draped over Miguel's shoulder and the other rose to his mouth as the cautious whisper of his friend came to his ear. "Shhh... it's me."_

_Miguel wouldn't have screamed anyway, because it was a precaution that he'd become accustomed to whenever Benji snuck into his room at a late hour—or, as in this case, an __early__ hour._

_Still, no matter how many times it happened, Miguel never even suspected that Benji was in the room until he was suddenly... __there__! So every precaution was necessary._

_Which was why Benji had been so careful. If Miguel's parents found out they'd been spending extra time together, without Jillian as a sort of buffer of sensibility, they'd start to suspect..._

_Miguel's breath caught in his throat as Benji released him. "Benjiiiii," he whined as Benji moved onto his bed. He sprawled across it on his back and looked lazily up at Miguel. _

"_Aww, c'mon little bit." Benji chuckled. "You know you'd just __die__," he said as he threw a teddy bear at his red-haired companion, "if I didn't grace you with my presence."_

"_Bennnn-ji!" Miguel growled, tidying up the mess Benji had made of his bed. "I'm not little!"_

"_What'd you say?" _

_Benji enjoyed seeing Miguel scrunch up his little nose in annoyance almost as much as loved to make him smile. But he had never heard Miguel say his name in "irritation" before. It was cute! He'd have to figure out how to get him to do it again. _

God, I'm a sadist,_ Benji thought to himself._

"_I said I'm not little." Miguel pouted. "I'm twelve years old now. I've grown a whole _two_ inches this year."_

"_A whole two inches!" Benji smiled. "So that would make you the tallest _girl_ in all the land,, right?"_

_The red head exhaled through his nose, causing his bangs to fly off his forehead. "That's not very nice, Benji..."_

"_I'm sorry, Miguel. You're the most tallest_ _and __prettiest__ girl in all the land. Better?"_

"_I'm not a girl!" Miguel cried. "And you... You're a big dummy head!"_

"_But I said you were pretty..."_

_Miguel sniffled. "Go 'way."_

"_Don't wanna." _

"_Ben."_

"_Who's...Ben?" _

"_Benjamin...Guevara...?"_

"_Don't know him."_

"_I'm gonna throw you off the balcony." _

"_Please don't send me away," Benji replied as his bottom lip became more pronounced._

"_Well..." Miguel sighed, running his fingers through his hair._

_The white-haired youth's lips cracked into a slight smile. "You are _so_ easy..."_

_Miguel's brow lowered. "Goodbye, Benji."_

_The red head made quick work of dragging Benji to the window and shoving him out onto the balcony._

"_Hey!" Benji shouted. "That is __not__ the way I came up."_

"_Shut-up! You'll wake my parents."_

_Benji shrunk. "Sorry."_

"_I'm going to bed."_

"_No, no, no, no. Don't be mad at me," Benji pleaded. "I have a surprise for you!"_

"_Not interested." Miguel smiled demurely and closed the door to his room,, leaving Benji alone and rather pathetic-looking on the balcony. _

"_No, no, _no_!" The persistent boy tapped on the glass door, the rapping growing steadily louder until it was a miracle that Miguel's parents didn't come in bearing clubs and pistols and expensive statuary and whatever else a rich family might use to defend themselves from an intruder._

_The tiny Spaniard walked up to the door, smiling coyly and looking out at him through the little window. "Yeeees?"_

_Benji, in response, pointed to the lock and mouthed,. "Open... the... door!"_

_Miguel nodded and kindly pulled the curtains across the door._

_Benji sighed. "Really? Well now I'm just insulted..." Then, with a little hmph of annoyance, he pulled out his lock pick. The locked clicked open momentarily and Benji pushed the door in, arranging his face in a faintly irritated expression before stepping back inside. "You're really just too—"_

"_Easy," Miguel said from the edge of the balcony. "Yeah, I know."_

"_...How long have you been there?"_

"_You don't want me to answer that."_

"_Why?"_

"_It'll just hurt your ego."_

"_Fair enough."_

"_So...where are we going?"_

_Benji smiled, taking his future partner by the hand. "Down." In one fluid motion he pulled Miguel to his chest and slid down the rope he used to scale the wall. Once they were safely on the ground, Benji lowered his friend to his feet. "I'm sorry about calling you girly..."_

_Miguel would have been completely terrified by the sudden drop if he hadn't trusted Benji so completely. He turned to Benji and hugged him tightly. "I forgive you, 'tupid Benji!"_

"_I really do have a surprise for you, though." Benji grinned, leading Miguel away from the villa._

"_There's a reason you're my favorite Benji."_

"_I thought I was the only Benji."_

"_You are, but if there were __another__ Benji, __you'd__ still be my favorite!"_

"_Thank you, Miguel. I feel soooo much better now."_

_Miguel laughed. "How much further?"_

"_Not much further. Close your eyes."_

"_Okay." Miguel giggled, following the instructions as Benji took his hand. "Now?"_

"_Not yet."_

"_Okay... Now?"_

"_Patience."_

"_Can I open them...now?"_

"_Nice try, but no."_

"_How about—"_

"_No."_

"_Can I just—"_

"_No." Benji chuckled, pushing the redhead from behind now, covering Miguel's eyes with his other hand to make sure they stayed closed._

_Miguel giggled. "Benjiiii..."_

"_No peeking!"_

"_But—"_

"_Shh! No talkie!"_

"_Benji—"_

"_Do I have to cover your mouth, too?"_

"_Nooooo. I'll be quiet, I promise."_

_Silence._

"_Are we there yet?"_

"_A whole ten seconds! That's a record."_

"_Mmmfh..."_

"_You can open them now."_

"_Really?"_

"_Oh, for the love of... __Yes__!" _

_Miguel blinked several times into the darkness, before giving up on figuring out the joke and confessing flatly, "I don't see anything."_

"_Wait."_

_As if on cue, the sun began to rise over the field, bursting forth with an almost indecent radiance and bathing the meadow before them in pure gold and sparkles, so that Miguel was finally able to see the rainbow of every flower imaginable resting on a deep green bed of clover and fresh grass._

"_Oh! Oh, Benji, it's __beautiful__!"_

"_Oh, __that's__ not what I wanted to show you…"_

_Miguel's widened. "You mean there's __more__?"_

_Benji only smiled in reply and pulled Miguel out of the trees and onto the field. Startled by the disturbance, the flowers suddenly came alive, moving and shifting and…taking off into the air?  
Butterflies. Hundreds and hundreds of butterflies, in every conceivable size and color._

_It took Miguel a moment to process what he was seeing as the creatures swarmed around them, dancing in the sunshine and greeting the morning with as much ardor as the redhead could ever hope to see or possess. He froze, and felt Benji do the same next to him, as a mantle of butterflies settled itself over his shoulders and rested there like the most vibrant of shawls._

_A small smile began on the redhead's face, then grew steadily until he was positively beaming with glee. "Benji… You found the butterflies for me?"_

"_Yes, I did." Benji smiled proudly._

"_It's the most wonderful thing anyone's ever done for me," Miguel said, so overwhelmed with joy that a few tears welled up in his eyes. "I should do something for you."_

"_Think nothing of it."_

"_No, really! I have to—" _

_At that convenient moment, a butterfly landed on Miguel's nose and the pair fell utterly silent. _

"_A-a-aaaaa-CHOO!"_

_That was the first time Benji saw Miguel sneeze. _

_The poor guy didn't even stand a chance._

XXX

By some unprecedented and inexplicable miracle, the _Archangel_ docked at the next port without incident (trivial things—for instance, Erik upending a bucket of water on Benji's head, Rin falling out of the rigging for the umpteenth time, and Simon "falling" overboard accompanied by hysterical laughter from Jiro—not really being worth noting).

Simon immediately made a beeline for the nearest tavern, leaving the rest of them to unload—much to Rin's relief, though she insisted that had everything to do with simply being glad to be rid of him for a bit, and nothing to do with the fact that his presence drove her absolutely distracted.

After Simon was well and truly away, the rest of the crew began to unload the few things they planned to sell, loaded up on weapons for any possible pillaging and/or plundering that might take place during their brief respite from life at sea, and followed the road to the nearest tavern that their least favorite person in the world _hadn't_ entered.

The place was dark, inhabited mostly by shadows and a few inert bodies. The bartender looked as bored and lifeless as his patrons, and it took him several moments to process their drink orders. A look of comprehension finally dawned on his otherwise empty face, and he grunted in reply and plunked several very dirty mugs on the counter, filling them with the life-giving amber liquid the pirates coveted.

Erik blushed deeply as he was pulled into Jiro's lap, but did nothing to fight the situation. Miguel settled comfortably into Benji's arms, and Rin and Monroe took their own barstools and tried not to mind.

For about ten minutes, they enjoyed their drinks in companionable silence, speaking only occasionally and about trivial matters. But Benji tired of this quiet camaraderie rather quickly, and slammed his fifth mug onto the counter as he snapped, "Okay, this is just ridiculous."

The rest of the company blinked as Benji stood and began to move tables around, clearing out a huge space in the middle of the floor, completely unhindered by anyone else in the place (it had to be concluded that no one could get up the energy). Then the pirate captain vaulted over the bar—the barkeep couldn't seem to bring himself to care—and took a fiddle and its bow off the wall where they hung for decoration. Jumping back to his own side of the counter, he handed the instrument to Jiro. "You know what to do, sir!" Then he took Miguel's hand. "May I have the honor of this dance, _mi mariposa_?"

Miguel smiled. "Ah, _si_…"

Jiro grinned, suddenly understanding, and struck up a lively tune on the "borrowed" fiddle. Miguel and Benji didn't miss a beat, beginning a lively two-step in the space Benji had cleared and not seeming to care that the place had finally gotten up enough willpower to stare at them with one collective, critical eye. The two were soon joined by Rin, dragging Monroe behind her, and then Jiro stood and led Erik over; the fiddle never ceased its music all the while.

"Come on, people, life's too short for this!" Miguel shouted, disengaging his hand from Benji's and going over to a young lady who was sitting with a very old man and trying to look vaguely interested in something other than the two gold pieces he was rubbing together. Taking the girl's hand, he took her to the dance floor and tossed her in with the rest; she took on some of their infectious enthusiasm and began to dance with surprising vigor.

Getting the idea, the others began to collect people from the audience, too—only Erik and Monroe declined to participate in this part of the festivities—and soon the entire bar had come alive. Even the bartender got up enough energy to heave himself to his feet and begin to clean his filthy mugs and bottles with an even filthier rag.

It was a good hour or two before the dancing started to taper off; people left the floor in twos and threes, until the pirates were the only ones left. One by one, they, too, fell into seats or onto the floor, breathless with laughter.

Erik and Jiro were the first to sneak off, heading outside to "do questionable things," as Benji put it. Then Rin went to curl up in a corner cradling a cannon ball and a bottle of whiskey. Monroe went next, wandering over to the bartender and striking up a conversation—much to the surprise of the rest of the crew, who sometimes forgot that Monroe even had a voice (or...well...an existence...).

This left Miguel and Benji the lone couple on the dance floor, swaying slowly to the beat of a quickstep and not caring one whit about the general existence of the universe.

XXX

"_You love him!"_

_Benji gave a long-suffering sigh and skillfully avoided the book that was currently being swung at his head. "I do not."_

"_You love him, you love him, you loooooooove him..."_

_Benji just shook his head in exasperation and stopped walking, dropping down to sit on the dock and knowing more by instinct than anything else that Jillian would sit gracefully down next to him, once she had stopped laughing long enough to do __anything__ gracefully._

"_Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I won't laugh anymore." She sat primly down next to him—she wasn't a lady, but she was a woman, and that status demanded certain things that she just couldn't force herself to forget about—and settled her skirts around her with an unmaidenly curse at their cumbersome circumfrence. "_Mierda... _I hate being a girl..." _

_Benji laughed. "You say that now. You'll be singing a different tune when some dashing, handsome young rebel comes in and sweeps you off your feet. __Then__ you'll set about reforming him, as most girls are so fond of doing, and you'll live and die for him and you'll __love__ being a woman, and wonder how you ever could've wished you were anything else."_

_Jillian snorted, then replied teasingly, "A young rebel! Certainly not! As if I could possibly have eyes for anyone but __you__, _mi amigo encantador_."_

"_Oh, __now__ I'm 'charming.' Earlier today I was the trial of your life and a complete detriment to society at large."_

"_And I will stand by that to my dying breath."_

_Benji rolled his eyes. "You couldn't possibly die. Mark my words, Jill; you're going to outlive all of us."_

_Jillian just smiled.  
_

"_...The damned can do that."_

_She slapped him across the back of the head. "Impertinent boy!"_

"_Uptight bi—"_

"_Benjamin Carlos Guevara, you will hold your tongue in the presence of a lady!"_

"_...You're right. I certainly will."_

_She nodded, satisfied._

"_...Should I ever meet one."_

_Jillian turned bright red in anger and opened her mouth to reply. The incensed words got lost on the way up, however, and softened quickly to a laugh. "You do enjoy teasing me, don't you?"_

_Benji's eyes sparkled as he laughed with her. "How could you tell?"_

_They sat in companionable silence after that, sharing a churro and looking out from the docks over the ocean._

"_I'm gonna be out there one day," Benji finally commented softly._

_There was a little sadness in Jillian's smile this time as she looked thoughtfully down at her white hands. "With Miguel?"_

_Benji's tan face became tinted with red, though no one but Jillian and Miguel would have noticed. He tried and failed to stutter a reply, going a shade of red that _anyone_ could have noticed as Jillian laughed loudly._

"_I swear, you two are __so__ much deeper in denial than anyone I've ever met!"_

_Benji scowled. "Shut up, Jill!"_

"_Not until you admit I'm right."_

"_You're not!"_

"_I am!"_

"_You're not!"_

"_I am!"_

"_You're __not__!"_

"_I __am__!"_

"_...Oh, God, you are."_

_Jillian grinned in triumph, and Benji couldn't help laughing. When the chuckles finally faded, the quiet returned, and they sat there enjoying it for awhile._

_Benji broke the silence by asking softly, "Do you mind at all?"_

_Jillian chuckled softly. "Mind?" Then she was quiet for a moment, before continuing, "A little."_

_More silence, during which Jillian played idly with the hem of her skirt, and Benji frowned slightly and thought more serious thoughts than he'd ever experienced in his life._

_She smiled then, the look tinged with a bittersweet sort of joy. "You two are going to be great together, you know. You'll set the world on fire."_

_Benji grinned. "Literally, more likely than not."_

_They shared another laugh; then Jillian turned to look thoughtfully at the sunset. "Mark my words, Benji. If __anyone__ can escape this place...you guys can." She turned to give him another smile, one that didn't quite reach her eyes this time. "Just...be sure to come back for me someday, okay?"_

XXX

When Benji and Miguel finally walked off the dance floor and noticed the fragmented remains of their party, they smiled in amusement. Tugging on his lover's hand, Miguel led the pair over to where Monroe was still talking to the bartender.

"Yeah, they're a great bunch," he said happily. "I like to think they're my friends—I like to think they like me—but…it's kind of awkward sometimes. The only one besides me who's not paired off with some else is a girl. And…well, there's Simon, but he doesn't really count towards anything at all."

Benji and Miguel, unaccustomed to hearing such a long speech from the normally mouse-like boy, blinked in surprise; the bartender, however, never having experienced his quiet side, just smiled indulgently and asked, "What do y'all do on the ship?"

"Well, Benji's captain, of course. We laugh because no one ever seems to listen to him, and there's a minor mutiny every other day, but we _do_ actually respect him, you know…_really_ deep down. And then Miguel's first mate, and we listen to him like he's the captain because he's earned it. And Erik's ship doctor and he loves needles enough that the job's not a chore for him at all. And Jiro's the chaplain, which makes for a _great_ joke because none of us have religion and Jiro smokes and drinks and swears and does things that I'm pretty sure God would frown on if She was looking. And Rin's a powder monkey because she loves cannons and says she would marry hers if woman and cannon were allowed to mate. And Simon doesn't do anything at all."

"And what about you?" the bartender asked politely.

"...Me? Oh, I'm…" He blinked, then shrugged and replied innocently, "I'm just nobody, sir. Nobody can't do anything, can he?"

Benji could swear he felt his heart break then, and looking at Miguel, he could tell the redhead felt the exact same thing.

"Nonsense," the man replied kindly. "Nobody is nobody! If you're on that ship with them, it's for a good reason, you mark my words, boy. Answer me true, now. Think real hard. What are you there for?"

Though they couldn't see his face, both Miguel and Benji could sense that it was screwed up in deep thought.

"Well…I…I fix things, sometimes, when they get broken."

"Fix things? Like what things?"

"Well…the mast, sometimes. Or the rails. Or the sides of the boat. Or whatever else gets broken when we sink."

The bartender blinked. "When you…sink? Do you…do that often?"

Monroe shrugged nonchalantly. "Often enough, I guess." He paused, as if something had just clicked into place. "Are we not supposed to?"

The bartender blinked several more times, then noticed Benji and Miguel with relief. "What can I do for you gentlemen?"

Benji blinked; it seemed that the man had finally come to life, and he couldn't help attributing that fact to Monroe. "Um…we just came to collect our cargo and move on," he replied with a wink to Monroe, causing a big smile to break out over the boy's face.

"I don't have any cargo of yours, I'm afraid."

"…Um, you…have my crew member…"

"Yup!" Monroe hopped down off the bar stool. "I guess I'd better be going. It was nice talking to you, mister."

The bartender smiled. "You, too. You boys have a nice voyage, now."

"Well, _that's_ a miracle if I ever saw one," Miguel commented as the three walked away, Benji scooping up Rin's prostrate form and heaving it over his shoulder as they went. "How did you do that?"

Monroe shrugged. "I just talked to him. All he wanted was some company. That's all anyone wants, isn't it?" And with that, he grinned and skipped away towards the tavern across the road.

Miguel stared after him, then commented sadly, "He thinks he's nobody, Benji…"

Benji nodded. "I know. We'll have to do something about that."

"Yeah…" He paused. "Where are Erik and Jiro?"

The captain blinked, then shook his head emphatically. "I don't think I want to know." Then he pulled impatiently on his partner's hand. "Come on come on come _on_!"

Miguel laughed. "You can't possibly need another drink _that_ badly."

"Yes I do! Come _on_!"

The redhead just sighed good-naturedly and followed him into the tavern.

There was no need for Jiro's music in this place; it was already quite lively enough. Benji felt completely in his element here, and was quite unabashed in his movements through the crowd towards the bar. Taking a place on a bar stool, he once again pulled Miguel into his lap and watched the rest of the group take similar places to the ones they'd had in the other establishment; the only difference now was that Erik and Jiro were nowhere in sight.

"A refreshment, sirs?" They all looked up at the plump, smiling woman who stood in front of them holding a flagon of mead. "Best in town, that I can promise you."

"Yes, please," Miguel replied.

"Yup!" Rin added, cheerfully ignoring the fact that she had just been referred to as a "sir".

"Me, too," Benji said. "Monroe?"

The boy nodded eagerly.

After she had poured their drinks and lumbered away, the group began to discuss mundane things, giggling at that which wasn't funny and crying about that which wasn't sad, and generally being too far gone to actually have a normal conversation. They continued this way for about an hour, before they were all sobered up by a rather unpleasant interruption.

"Oh, _here_ we are. I was beginning to think you guys had forgotten about me."

Rin glared. "Oh, that we could..."

Simon grinned drunkenly. "I'll take that as a compliment." Leaning forward, he draped himself over the girl's shoulders and murmured, "What say you and I go find a nice little corner and have ourselves some alone time, huh?"

She gave him a disgusted look. "Go screw yourself."

"...But _that's_ not any fun..."

Rin threw up her hands in defeat and turned resolutely away...then stopped, mid-turn, and spun back around to give her enemy an evil smile. "Okay, fine. Let's go..._play_." And she hopped down off the bar stool and began to weave her way through the crowd. Simon blinked, and followed her.

After circling the floor a couple of times, Simon following Rin with a decidedly confused air, they finally stopped at a table full of—

"Well, 'whores' is such a strong word. Let's call them...'women of loose morals', hmm?"

Simon blinked at her. "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

"Nope." Then, turning to the six women sitting at the table in front of her, she asked, "Which of you _fine_ ladies is interested in taking this guy on for the evening?" Not one of the women seemed adverse to the idea, so Rin continued cheerfully. "If you can believe what _he_ says, he's great at, er...what he does... And y'all really seem to be...y'know..._made for each other._ So have at 'im, ladies. He's desperate and he's lonely, and he pays well." She grinned. "All right, have fun, you guys!" Then she turned to walk away, but paused and looked back at them. "Oh, and don't worry. The rash isn't contagious."

"Wait! Rin—!" That was all Simon could get out before the women were on him.

The rest of the party laughed and cheered as Rin returned to them. She bowed humbly before them and, breathless with laughter, took her place again.

"Why on earth would you do that?" Miguel managed to choke out through his laughter. "That was _horrible_!"

"It was _genius_!" Benji added enthusiastically.

"…Can someone fill us in, please?" Erik asked from Jiro's lap, having missed most of the fun; Rin noted that his hair looked disheveled, and that Jiro's shirt was on inside out. She just grinned, however, and took a sip of her rum.

"It _was_ quite hilarious," a new voice agreed from behind them, sounding deeply amused by something.

Benji and Miguel blinked, and turned as one to look at the newcomer—a small, smiling woman with long hair and dancing eyes that Benji always swore he wouldn't forget if he lived to be a hundred.

"Oh my God…"

"Oh my _God_…."

Benji and Miguel looked at each other, looked back at the girl, and screamed, "_Jillian_!" Then they were on her, knocking the tray of drinks she carried out of her hands and tackling her to the floor.

"Y'know, it's _really_ lucky I've stopped wearing skirts, or this would be an awkward situation," Jillian commented dryly. "Get off me."

Benji started to comply, but Miguel just snuggled closer to his friend and clung tighter. "Nope." So the captain just shrugged and continued with his hug.

"Yes, yes, I missed you, too, but seriously, guys…get off."

They sighed and groaned and protested, but did as ordered—they always had. Nothing much had changed over the years…

XXX

"_You are __so__ whipped."_

_Benji chuckled, and squeezed Miguel's waist lightly. The two were lying on the empty beach, with Miguel curled up between Benji's legs and wrapped in a warm pair of arms, as they watched the stars and listened to the waves crash against the shoreline._

"_Give me a break! She's my best friend…"_

"_And the only one who can ever get you to listen to reason. I get it." Miguel was silent for a moment, then chuckled ruefully. "I'm glad you made the first move, even if it __was__ just because Jill told you to. I don't think I would have had the guts, even though she __did__ tell me exactly what to say."_

_Benji blinked. "Wait, she talked to you, too?"_

_Miguel shrugged. "Guess she wanted some extra insurance. She must have figured if she got to __both__ of us, __one__ of us would have to take her advice."_

_The bleach-blond boy shook his head. "She is the nosiest, most interfering girl I could ever hope to meet…"_

"_It's lucky you __did__ meet her," Miguel pointed out._

_Benji smiled and nodded. "Ah, you speak true, _tesoropequeño_. She's been a good friend to us."_

"_The best…"_

_They fell silent for a moment, before Miguel said what he knew they were both thinking._

"_It's nice to know we'll have __one__ supporter in this fiasco." He paused, then asked quietly, "They'll want us to split up, you know. My parents, and…other people. They have…plans, you know. Plans that I don't know if I can get out of. What if they—?" _

"_They won't. They couldn't."_

_Miguel sighed and looked sadly out over the water. "Oh, Benny…if you only knew…"_

XXX

"I can't believe you're _here_!"

Miguel laughed happily. "We can't believe _you're_ here!"

"…_We_? As in…you're all 'we share one brain' now?"

"Um…"

Jillian laughed delightedly as she poured a third round of drinks for the group, among whom she was sitting like a queen on her throne. "Damn, but you guys have gone _far_ since I last saw you! It's a 'we' now… Just…_damn_."

"I don't know why _you're_ surprised. It was your fault in the first place!"

"Oh, my _fault_, was it? Because I remember that story a _little _differently."

"Oh, _do_ you now?"

Another laugh. "Uh-huh. I remember it going something like… 'Oh, Jillian, I just don't know _what_ to do! I'm just so _helpless_ and _sad_ and _alone_ and I love him _so much_! Help me, Jill!' And then I, of course, in my _boundless_ benevolence and _infinite_ wisdom, replied with something like, 'Of course, my dear boy! This is what you'll do…' Insert sage and sound advice here, and cut to _you_ telling _him _exactly how you felt—"

"And then leaving me sitting here on my _culo_ for the next decade or so," Miguel finished teasingly. "Tell me, was _that_ your idea, too, Jill?"

Jillian threw up her hands. "Ooooh, no. No, no, no. He gets _full_ credit for that one."

Erik patted Benji on the back. "Good job, buddy. Good job."

"Oh, kiss my perfectly sculpted ass, Erica. I got it together eventually."

Jillian snorted. "By sheer coincidence, and nothing else! See what happens to your life when you don't have your number-one woman around to manage it for you?"

"Hey, what do _you_ know about it?" Benji protested. "You weren't even _here_ for most of it!"

She shrugged. "I hear things. Just because you didn't see me the last time you were here, doesn't mean I didn't see you."

A heavy silence fell, and Benji got a feeling that the pleasantries were over, and that it was time for a more private talk. He looked over at Erik, channeling the wish to his best friend; Erik caught on immediately, and dragged the rest of the group away to the dancing.

They sat staring after the group for a moment, before Jillian commented, "That's a great group you guys have put together there."

Benji smiled slightly. "Yeah, they really are…" He took a sip of his drink, then set it aside. "Why _didn't_ we see you that day?"

She shrugged. "Honestly? I didn't think it would matter that much. I was pretty sure you wouldn't even notice."

Miguel looked intensely uncomfortable.

"What are you talking about?" Benji asked. "It was the one thing that was missing! I _almost_ said as much to Miguel, but…well, honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted to know anything."

Neither Miguel nor Jillian had any reply to this.

"I know I had—_have_—no right to ask this, and I definitely have no right to be angry, but…what did I miss out on while I was gone?"

"I can honestly say that you missed out on very little," Miguel piped up, wrapped his arms around Benji's waist, but remaining on his own stool.

"Yeah. After you left…" Jillian's face grew sad. "I mean, we tried, we really did, but we didn't know where to go from there." She laughed quietly. "Turns out our little group is nothing without the third musketeer."

"Our little 'school' shut down—most of the kids had grown up or lost interest, or their parents found out, or the streets got to them… " Miguel trailed off, an almost haunted look in his eyes, before coming back from wherever he'd been. "My parents pretty much cloistered me after you left. Told me it was 'for the best' and that it was time I found a 'nice girl' to 'settle down with'. Unfortunately, Jillian didn't count, and she was the only one who would have let me live my life the way I wanted to. So I wasn't allowed to see her and she couldn't see me, and even when we _did_ manage to sneak out and find each other…it just wasn't the same. We didn't have much to say to each other." He smiled sadly, and finally moved into Benji's lap. "I think that's when we both realized how important you were, and…it was too late."

Benji gave him a sorrowful smile. "I never would have left if I thought I had a choice. You know that."

Miguel nodded and smiled. "I know that. I forgave you the minute you showed up on the beach in Cuba."

"And _I _forgave you _long_ before that," Jillian chimed in.

"Oh, hush, Jill! Always trying to one-up me…"

"Aww, ain't he cute when he pouts?" Jillian pinched her friend's freckled cheek, laughing as he squirmed in his chair.

Benji grinned at their play, the last of the weight dissolving from his heart as they laughed together. _Just like old times…_

"Okay, enough of this crap. You know what we've been doing, but what's happened with you?"

She shrugged. "Not much."

"Oh, come on, give me more than that! I've caught up on Miguel's entire life story, I know _everything_ he did while I was gone, but I never had the guts to ask about you and he never raised the subject, so I'm totally in the dark here."

"Well…there really _isn't_ much to tell. After Miguel's parents died and he left for Cuba…well, I won't lie, I was totally lost. I had _no_ idea what to do with my life when I had no one to share it with. My parents weren't horrible, but they weren't exactly interested in my life, either. We hardly even knew each other…"

She trailed off, remembering the endless string of governesses she'd gone through as a child, until she was deemed old enough to fend for herself. In her entire life, she couldn't remember ever being with her parents for more than mere hours at a time…

But Jillian was nothing if not resilient, and it was only a matter of moments before she returned to reality and continued.

"So I just sort of flitted from thing to thing for a couple of years, trying all sorts of things that I wasn't very good at. Then I decided to do the 'respectable' thing and start trying to snare a husband, so that occupied a year or so before I realized what a fool I was making of myself."

Benji laughed. "You always _were_ a bit of a flirt."

"Shut up. So after _that_ unpleasant realization kicked in, I was at a total loss. I'd tried everything a woman could possibly do while remaining alone—short of whoring—and met a dead end, I'd met with _total_ failure when I tried to marry, and I honestly had no clue what to do. Then Mama died, and strangely enough, that was what brought Papi and I together. He saw how unhappy I was, and put me on a ship to Cuba after telling me he didn't care what I did or how I put my life together, as long as I came back as myself."

Miguel smiled. "I think 'yourself' is someone he would have really liked to know."

Jillian returned his smile, then punched him in the shoulder. "Oh, hush. Save the mushy stuff for your man."

"Oh, please," Miguel replied airily. "We get enough of the mush when you're not around. This is the moment for sense, and _I_ say that I'm being nothing _but_ sensible."

Jillian just shook her head and smiled.

XXX

_It wasn't fair._

_Benji had thought things were going so well. He and Miguel had spent barely any time apart since that night at the beach, and—apart from Miguel's semi-occasional lapses into silence and a newfound habit of staring sadly out over the ocean with a troubled expression on his freckled face—everything seemed to have been going smoothly._

_But some small part of Benji had always wondered about the reason for Miguel's descents into mild depression; and it had turned out that his suspicions had not been unfounded._

He loves her, Benjamin.

_But that girl didn't deserve Miguel. Benji didn't know her—he didn't even know her name—but he knew that for a fact._

_Benji walked in a daze, not realizing where his steps were carrying him, so he was quite surprised when he looked up to find himself at the harbor. Upon reflection, it seemed fitting, somehow, and he walked to the end of one of the docks and sat down as though that had been his plan all along._

_The sun had nearly passed below the horizon, and a lone ship was just sailing off into it. Benji watched it go, part of him wishing he was already on it and headed somewhere else. Everything would have been so much easier if he and Miguel had never—_

You don't mean that, moron.

_The part of him that wasn't in complete emotional agony marveled at how much his conscience could sound like Jillian. That amusing thought faded quickly, however, giving way to total gloom._

_He kept going over and over the conversation in his head—Miguel's parents telling him that Miguel was engaged, apologizing, talking about how much they wished things had turned out differently, apologizing again…_

_He didn't know which hurt more—the fact that his crush (for lack of a better word) had gotten engaged, or the fact that his parents had been the one to tell Benji._

But he cares about you. You know he does…

_And maybe that was true. In all honesty, Benji was certain it __was__ true. But apparently that hadn't stopped Miguel from—_

And with a girl!

_Jillian was the only girl either of them had ever spoken more than three or four words to, so the idea of Miguel actually __marrying__ one had never even occurred to him._

Maybe it's all a misunderstanding…maybe Miguel will explain, if I just ask him…

_But then, there __had__ been all those times that Miguel had started to speak and stopped himself mid-sentence… Could this be what he'd been trying to tell Benji?_

_His thoughts chased themselves in circles for hours, until the sun began to rise again and another ship set sail to meet it. The thought that had been tickling the back of his mind throughout the night surfaced once more, and let it come forward unhindered as he wandered dejectedly towards his home._

_He knew what he had to do…but that didn't mean he had to like it._

XXX

"Beeeeeen-_ji_!"

Benji jumped out of his reverie at that beloved voice. "Huh? Sorry…"

"You okay?" Miguel asked, waving the apology aside. "You looked sad."

He smiled slightly and dropped a light kiss on the back of Miguel's hand. "I'm all right. Just thinking."

Jillian grinned. "Yeah, best to avoid that if you can."

"Oh, shut up."

"Now, now, is that really any way to talk to a lady?"

All three blinked and looked up; Jillian had to look right around behind her, and all three had to crane their necks back to look at the huge man standing behind them. He was nearly twice as tall as Miguel, and both Miguel and Benji could have fit comfortably into his chest. His biceps were the size of hams, and Benji doubted there was an ounce of fat underneath the man's skin. To complete the ominous picture, he was leering unpleasantly at them as he leaned over the back of Jillian's chair.

Jillian looked quite unperturbed, smirking in reply to the man's question. "I don't know. Benji, why don't you go find one and ask her?"

"Yeah, it looks like there's one standing right behind Jill," Miguel added. "You won't have to go far."

The man cracked his knuckles threateningly. Benji rather thought his friends were crossing a line, as this thug looked quite capable of tearing Miguel in half with his teeth, but he couldn't help laughing; anyway, the three of them had never had a strong understanding of boundaries or any great respect for the well-being of their own skins.

"What're _you_ laughing at?" The man now moved around the table to loom menacingly over Benji.

Benji blinked up at him. "Well, I _was_ laughing at Miguel, but…now I'm just amusing myself by counting the hairs in your nose. How do you make it grow in ringlets like that, anyway?"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!?"

"…Nose hair. Ringlets. How does that _happen_?!"

The stranger growled loudly and made a motion as though to grab Benji by the throat, but stopped short and whipped around as Jillian tapped his shoulder. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave my bar if you insist on making trouble."

The giant stared at her as though he hadn't a clue what to make of her. Benji could practically see the cogs working behind his eyes, weighing his options. The horrible sneer returned after a moment. "Only if you'll come with me, beautiful."

Jillian snorted. "Not even in your wildest and most optimistic fantasies, slimeball."

Miguel let out a great whoop of laughter, which only grew louder as the man turned to glare at him. He stifled his laughter admirably quickly and, looking quite unabashed, got to his feet.

Wedging himself between Jillian and the unwelcome newcomer, Miguel looked up at his friend and said, "You should come over to our ship after you close up, Jill. We can…er…well, I know there's _something_ to do there…"

"Hey, I wasn't finished talking to her yet!"

Benji snorted at the stupidity of this statement, standing. "Well, I think it's safe to say she's done talking to you, big boy." the captain grinned as he and the young woman began to walk away.

"You stay out of this, you—" Here, the man let out a string of curses to their backs, so numerous and varied that only Jillian or Rin could have hoped to give him a run for his money.

"Hey, don't talk to him that way!" Miguel yelled indignantly, reaching up (quite alarmingly far, actually) and placing his hand on the man's shoulder in an effort to pull him around.

It happened in a two-second blur of motion. One minute, Miguel was standing confidently with his hand on the massive shoulder, and the next, he was lying on the floor, whimpering quietly and clutching his elbow, which now stuck out at a strange angle and bled dangerously quickly from a deep gash that stretched the length of his arm and across his chest; for a moment, Benji was sickeningly sure he could see bone.

Benji, Jillian, and the entire crew of the _Arch Angel_ were on the man within seconds. Unfortunately, they had neglected to account for the five similarly built men who had been leaning watchfully at intervals along the walls, almost as though they had been waiting for something like this to happen.

"Erik, get Miguel the hell out of here!" Benji ordered, ducking a vicious swing from the man who had hurt his lover and burying his fist in the heavily muscled stomach (it hurt more than it should have).

Erik didn't waste time protesting, but immediately picked up his friend and bolted out the door; the rest of the group was too distracted to notice. Half the bar had now joined the fight, and the other half had simply left to find a quieter place to dwell.

Luckily, most of the patrons appeared to be on the pirate crew's side. This tipped the scales greatly in their favor, and the group made it out of the bar without any further serious injury, leaving the six troublemakers out cold on the floor.

Thinking about what was waiting for him back on the ship, Benji half-wished he was back there with them.

XXX

_The sun had just disappeared below the waves to the west, and Benji thought privately that it had been a long time since the night had been so dark. But the moon was up, the stars were out, and he had managed to wrangle himself a place in the crew of an outgoing ship, so all that was left…was…_

Nothing. Nothing at all.

_That__ was a depressing thought if there ever was one…_

"_Beeeeeen-__ji__!"_

_Benji blinked heavily and turned around, dropping his bags on the deck just in time to catch Miguel as the redhead launched himself into his arms._

"_Why…why are you doing this?"_

"…_Jillian told you."_

_Miguel nodded mutely, his face buried in Benji's shoulder. "She…she said…you didn't say why. And that…that she wasn't supposed to tell." There was something accusatory in the otherwise heartbroken tone. "I was... What if I hadn't caught you? What if you'd really __gone__?"_

_Benji looked sadly down at the red hair that brushed his chin. "…Miguel…I'm glad you came."_

_Miguel stiffened, his face still hidden, and waited for him to continue. When he didn't, Miguel pulled sharply away, turning away to look out over the sea. There was a long pause, the silence broken only by the crashing of the waves, before he spoke again, his voice soft and surprisingly steady. "There's nothing I can say to make you stay, is there?"_

_Benji shook his head slowly._

"_Will I…will I ever see you again?"_

_Benji sighed heavily, taking a few steps forward so that he stood behind Miguel. Without stopping to consider all the reasons he shouldn't, he reached out and started to run his fingers gently through Miguel's hair. "Maybe. In…in a few years. Or…maybe never again, I don't know. But it…it really doesn't matter, you know?" He leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to the back of Miguel's head. "It's only time."_

_He could practically see Miguel's eyes close to hold in the tears. He must have opened them again, however, because after a moment he lifted his head to look at the sea again. His voice was quiet when he next spoke, and suddenly, he sounded completely at peace. "I'll wait for you, you know."_

_Benji's eyes widened. "You'll…wait? How…how long?"_

_Miguel turned to him. "As long as I have to."_

_Half an hour later, the dock was empty and Benji had climbed aboard the ship to wait quietly for the next morning. By the time his parents woke and discovered where he'd gone, he would be too far beyond the shores of his hometown to hear the ensuing explosion._

_He fell asleep that night with Miguel's parting words ringing in his ears._

"Don't make me wait too long, okay?"

XXX

Hours later, Benji silently entered the cabin he shared with Miguel. Erik looked up and gave him a tired smile, moving aside to reveal Miguel asleep on the bed, his torso and arm wrapped heavily in bandages and a splint. He looked disturbingly pale.

"How's he doing?"

"All right. The son of a bitch did a number on him, but I think I got the wounds cleaned and closed up before any kind of infection set in. I set and splinted his arm and gave him something for the pain, so he probably won't wake up until he starts hurting again; you can come get me when he does. Just…make sure he stays in bed, okay? Keep him from being…well, him."

Benji forced a laugh. "You make it sound so easy."

Erik laughed, zipping his bag and heading towards the door. "Yeah, well, just do your best. Monroe's going to make an attempt at dinner tonight, so he'll probably bring something in later, okay?"

Benji nodded. "Thanks, Erik."

Erik just smiled and reached out to lay a hand on his friend's shoulder. "He'll be fine, Ben. I promise."

The smile was returned, although just barely. "Good night."

"Good night."

The door shut almost as silently as it had when Benji had entered, and Benji found himself alone with his unconscious lover. Unaccountably nervous, he pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and reached out to take Miguel's hand. It was too limp…and cold. But his chest still moved slowly up and down as he slept, so Benji's panic was kept momentarily at bay.

Still, he couldn't help remembering the last time they'd said goodbye…and he most definitely didn't want to repeat that experience.

Even Benji couldn't say for sure why he'd left that day. Miguel had asked him to stay…he _clearly_ wasn't planning on being with anyone else… But at the time, before he'd heard the other side of the story, he'd simply assumed that Miguel wanted him to stay so that they could continue their affair in secret after the marriage became final. Benji didn't want to live that way. He didn't want to be the other man…

_You should've known he would never do that to you, idiot._

XXX

_It had been far, far too long since Benji had been home._

_In fact, he couldn't even recall being happy to see this beach; it had been so long since he'd set foot here, and most of the memories he had of the place were unhappy ones. He remembered the day he'd said goodbye to it—he remembered __that__ moment with remarkable clarity—but that was about it. Everything else was a total blur._

_Well, that wasn't entirely true. There __was__ one other thing worth remembering… And it was standing on the beach in front of him._

_Absolutely nothing had changed. He had gotten taller, but the hair was still as red, the green eyes still danced with a humor that could not be faked or imitated, the body still moved with an unmistakable grace…even his freckles were exactly the same as Benji remembered._

_Miguel was still Miguel. Benji doubted that would ever change. _

_And there was one other thing that time had somehow failed to touch. When their eyes met, the world and everything in it immediately fell away. Every single time._

He doesn't even seem surprised to see me.

_But then, very few things had ever managed to take Miguel by surprise._

_That was the last thought he had before Miguel spoke, and all rational thought was chased away._

_Later on, Benji was unable to recall exactly what was said in that conversation. He wasn't even entirely sure they'd had one. All he knew for sure was that he'd received his first kiss that day._

_Benji learned two very important things on the beach that day. The first thing he learned was that the romance novels didn't lie—the fireworks really __did__ happen during a first kiss, and they were far more intense than even the best author could possibly capture._

_The second was that Miguel had been worth the wait._

XXX

Benji somehow managed to drift off to sleep in the chair next to Miguel's bed, one of the thin, pale hands clenched tightly in his. His brief respite was plagued with nightmares, and altogether, it was a relief when Miguel's grip tightened on his hand and he was pulled back to reality.

"Miguel?"

"Mmm…that's my name…yup…"

Benji made an odd noise—something between a sob and a laugh, which only ended up sounding like a mouse being strangled.

Miguel's eyes opened a fraction. "You make funny noises, Benji. It makes me worry."

Benji made the sound again, leaning forward to kiss his lover's forehead. "How are you feeling, baby?"

"Mmm…floaty. Erik drugged me, didn't he?"

"I told him to."

"Hmph."

"Don't be mad."

"M'not. M'tired."

"Oh."

Miguel forced his eyes fully open to rest on his lover. He gave Benji's wrist a weak tug. "C'mere."

It cost Benji great effort to shake his head at the request. "I don't think I should, _cari__ñ__o_."

Miguel snorted. "Since when do you care whether you _should_?"

Benji couldn't come up with an argument for that, so he reluctantly climbed into the bed and curled up next to Miguel, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. "There, happy now?"

"Yes."

Silence fell then, and Miguel's good hand rose to play absently through the white hair under his chin. They remained like that for several minutes, and Benji would have been inclined to think that Miguel had gone back to sleep, had it not been for the gentle hand that still stroked his head.

"You're quiet," Miguel finally commented.

"I guess."

The hand stopped moving, and Benji felt more insecure without that soothing touch than he would have admitted even to Miguel. "Benji, what's wrong?"

Benji didn't say anything for a moment, choosing instead to bring his hand up to Miguel's chest and pluck absently at the corner of one of the bandages. His voice was scarcely more than a whisper when he finally replied, "You scared me."

Miguel blinked, then smiled slightly and pressed a kiss to the top of the tousled head.

"When you fell…God, there was so much blood, Miguel. I didn't understand how there could be so much in someone so small. And you were so pale and you didn't move, and I thought…just for a minute, I thought you were…"

"Shh," Miguel interrupted, lightly kissing Benji's hair again.

Benji obeyed—he usually did. Turning his head, he placed a kiss on Miguel's shoulder. "I love you, _mi querido_."

"I love you, too."

Long after the redhead drifted back to sleep, his lover lay awake, trying to figure out a way to hold the injured man without hurting him. He was still debating when Miguel, still fast asleep, reached down and slipped his hand into Benji's.


	15. Simon Does ONE THING Right

A/N: Ava would like to apologize for any scenes that were inadvertently stolen from previous chapters. She loses track sometimes. Forgive her for her transgressions!

* * *

Miguel finally stirred again in the early hours of the following morning, just as the sky was beginning to lighten. The first thing he noted upon waking was that every inch of his body was in excruciating pain; the second was that Benji lay next to him, clutching his hand tightly. The warm weight comforted him, giving him the strength to force his eyes open.

He immediately wished he hadn't.

Benji's brow furrowed, registering the quiet whimper of pain even in the deepest slumber. "Mmm…_cariño_?"

"Morning, Benji," Miguel replied, trying to speak normally through gritted teeth.

Benji's eyes narrowed; he wasn't fooled in the slightest. "You're hurting, aren't you?"

"It's not bad."

"Don't lie to me."

Miguel sighed. "Okay, fine, it's horrible." Then the sour look on his face was replaced by a mischievous glint in his eye. "Come kiss it better?"

It was an offer Benji simply couldn't refuse, and the two spent several blissful minutes drowning in each other. When they finally came up for air, it certainly wasn't by their own choice.

"Hmm, looks like someone's feeling better," a wickedly amused voice said from the doorway. "Mind if I join?"

"Y'know, since you started getting some, you have _really_ started to piss me off, Erik."

Erik laughed. "Careful, Ben, or I might have to tell you—in minute, excruciating detail—exactly how many different types of bacteria could eat Miguel's flesh from the inside out if I let them all run rampant."

Miguel pouted. "C'mon, why do _I_ have to be punished because _he's_ mean?"

"Because you should've trained him better." As he spoke, Erik swiftly injected something into Miguel's arm, ignoring the redhead's yelp of pain, and then began to remove the bandages with smooth, practiced motions.

Miguel snorted, wincing despite Erik's gentle hands. "Believe me, I've tried. He's as stubborn as a mule and as hot-headed as any Irishman I've ever met—plus he's drunk most of the time, and we all know how uncivilized _that_ makes him."

"Hey! Sitting right here, y'know."

"We know," Miguel and Erik chorused.

"…Okay, just checking."

XXX

Fifteen minutes later, Erik slipped back into Jiro's cabin, climbed into bed, and slid one arm around his lover from behind. Jiro's hand rose to give the arm around his waist a gentle squeeze, and the chaplain's sleepy voice asked, "What time's it?"

"Early. Go back to sleep."

"Mmm…uh-uh. I've got a better idea." And Jiro turned his head and lifted it slightly, clearly expecting a kiss; Erik complied, meeting him halfway and forcing Jiro's head gently back onto the pillow.

"So what're you up to today?" Jiro asked a few minutes later, settling back into Erik's arms.

Erik shrugged. "Thought I'd sort through the junk in the brig. Just because we're pirates doesn't mean we have to live like animals…though Miguel and I can't seem to convince anyone else of that."

Jiro laughed. "Have breakfast with me first?"

Erik smiled, leaning forward to drop another kiss onto Jiro's neck. "That's a given."

"Is breakfast in bed a given, too?"

Erik grinned happily. "Sure." Settling back under the covers, he added, "Don't overcook the eggs."

Jiro sighed heavily. "One time and I'm branded for life."

"Yup."

Jiro gave a resigned sort of chuckle and inched a bit further into the embrace. "If I'm fetching you breakfast, I demand snuggles first."

"Hmm…I'm not altogether sure I can comply with that demand. You might have to use, y'know…drastic measures."

"Oh, really? Drastic measures, like…a poke here?" He dug his fingers into Erik's ribs, bringing a surprised yelp of laughter from the man. "Or…a prod there?" He did it again, this time higher up. Then the poking became full-fledged tickling, and within minutes Erik was flushed and breathless with mirth.

Their play was interrupted all too soon, when the door crashed open and bathed the couple in sunlight. "Jiro, what are you doing to Erik?!"

"Making a man out of him," Jiro replied, throwing his arms around Erik and sticking his tongue out at the figure framed in the doorway.

"He sounded like he was…_giggling_. Men do not _giggle_."

"_Real_ men giggle."

"I resent the implications of that statement."

"As well you should."

Benji then decided that Jiro was hardly worth dealing with and switched his attentions to Erik. Bouncing onto the bed, he said, "Erik, Miguel's asleep again and I'm bored."

"I left your room ten minutes ago, Benji. You can't have gotten bored that quickly."

"Uh-huh! I'm hungry, too. Come make me breakfast."

Erik gave another despairing groan and buried his face in the pillow. "Make it yourself."

"I don't wanna make it myself."

"Then starve."

"I choose option C."

"There is no option C. A and B are your only choices."

"…Can we _make_ an option C?"

"_Benji_!"

XXX

Some time later, with much grumbling and against his better judgment, Erik allowed himself to be dragged out of Jiro's cabin and into the bright, wide world.

The galley was empty when they got there; apparently the entire sane universe was still asleep. Half of Erik wished that he was among them, and the other half wanted to go wake them up out of spite. Erik gave into neither of these urges, however, choosing instead to drown his sorrow in every frying pan on the ship, making enough bacon and eggs to feed the entire crew.

"Jesus, how fat do you think we are, Erik?"

"You'll eat it and you'll like it."

Benji said something that sounded vaguely like, "Oul dwha?" around a bite of fried potatoes approximately twelve times too large for his mouth.

"Or I'll stop feeding you," Erik replied as he started in on his own plate, far too used to Benji's table manners to feel more than the faintest twinge of revulsion.

Benji just shrugged and continued to eat with gusto; Jiro grinned and took a more socially acceptable bite.

It was a good thing, too, that the bite had been so small, because otherwise Jiro would have done considerably more than simply beginning to cough and splutter, his eyes welling up with tears. He couldn't seem to stop, and that could only mean…

Erik immediately flushed bright red. "Oh, God, I _didn't_!"

Jiro tried to form words, but only ended up spluttering some more.

"Ack, I _did_! I'm so sorry, Jiro, those were supposed to be for Benji!"

Benji roared with laughter as Erik ran to the sink to fill a cup with water and gave it to Jiro.

"What…did you _do_?" Jiro asked when he was able to speak again.

Erik's blush deepened. "Hot peppers instead of tomato in the eggs, and hot sauce mixed into everything. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! _Stop laughing_, Benji!"

"Christ, were you trying to trick him or kill him?"

"I'm sooooorry!" Erik wailed. "Benji, _shut up_!"

"C-c-can't!"

That did it. Erik vaulted over the table in a tidal wave of unstoppable fury and tackled Benji to the floor.

Jiro smiled slightly to himself as he watched the two wrestle on the floor. He knew—and Benji probably did, too—that Erik had ceased to be irritated almost immediately; this was just good fun.

Erik needed more of that in his life. The man had far too many worries for his own good; just _watching_ him think about them was exhausting. And since Simon had shown up, his few carefree moments had been scattered like leaves to the winds.

Jiro was going to have to do something about that.

XXX

Quite awhile later, Benji and Erik settled back to their breakfasts—Benji didn't even seem to notice that the food was stone cold, but Erik made a face and pushed his plate away after the first bite.

"Why don't you just warm it back up?" Jiro asked.

"Reheated food is an abomination."

Jiro chuckled. "Fair enough." He took a bite of his own freshly prepared food—and promptly spit it back out in surprise as the door to the galley was slammed open.

"Good mooooorning!"

"Morning, Rin," Erik replied, while Benji grunted an acknowledgement and Jiro nodded and smiled.

"Wow, Benji. You look…messier than usual. What happened?"

"Erik was defending my honor," Jiro replied before Benji managed to swallow his mouthful of food.

"Aww, ain't that sweet?"

"Shut up, Rin," Erik said amicably, helping himself to a bite from Jiro's plate.

Rin stuck her tongue out at him and sat down in Jiro's lap. "Jiro, Erik's being mean to me."

"So?"

Rin sighed. "This is a cold family."

"Family is for losers, anyway."

Every person in the room groaned, either inwardly or aloud.

"What're you doing here?" Rin snapped. "It's daylight. Shouldn't you be on fire or something?"

"Nice to see you, too, freckle queen," Simon replied airily, taking Jiro's plate and digging in.

"Hmph," Rin replied, standing to take Jiro's plate and setting it back in front of him. "Touch his food again and I'll remove your hand." Then, promptly contradicting herself as usual, she took a bite of Jiro's eggs and made an approving noise.

Jiro, feeling she had earned the reward, pushed the whole plate in front of her and stood. Moving behind Erik's chair, he wrapped his arms around the doctor and leaned forward to rest his chin on the thin shoulder. "I wanna go back to bed."

Erik shivered at the blatant suggestion in his voice. "Alone?"

"Where would the fun be in that?"

Erik grinned; the thought of being embarrassed never occurred to him. "Let's go."

Rin smiled slightly as she watched them leave, just barely slower than a dead run as they bolted through the door. "They're good for each other."

Simon grunted, his face contorting in disgust as the dreaded topic was approached.

"I don't think I've ever seen Erik so…loose."

Simon was silent for a moment as he filled a plate. When he finally spoke, it was as if he were talking to himself, yet half-hoping that Rin would hear. "He was…once. A long time ago."

Rin wisely remained silent as Simon shook off his momentary reverie and sat down across from her at the table. She managed to do so for nearly thirty seconds, before the quiet began to drive her mad.

"So I heard something interesting when I was in town this morning."

"What the hell were you doing awake when the sun was up?"

"I _heard_," Rin pressed on determinedly, "that the guys who hurt Miguel were found crushed and bleeding in an alley last night."

Simon shrugged. "So?"

"After all of us were long gone back to the ship."

"_So_?"

"All of us except for you."

"SO?!"

"So," Rin replied sagely, "what were you doing out so late?"

Simon shrugged. "Drinking and whoring, what else?"

"Hmm." She studied him closely for a moment, then dismissed the possibility. "No, I don't think so. You're not hung over. If you'd been out drinking, you would be hung over."

"It wasn't me."

Rin gave him a knowing nod. "Right."

"It _wasn't_, Rin!"

"You have a heart. Who knew?"

"I do _not_!"

Rin giggled. "You're cute when you panic. It makes you seem…almost human."

Simon scowled, but wisely chose to remain silent. There was no fighting it when Rin was like this. To be perfectly honest (not that there was any reason to start now), he didn't really want to try.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Simon sighed inwardly in resignation. "If I said no, would that change anything?"

"Nope."

He sighed aloud this time. "Go ahead."

"Why is it," she asked, taking a sip of coffee, "that you'll beat the living hell out of a group of guys you've never seen before because they hurt someone you barely know—"

A strange expression crossed Simon's face, then disappeared before Rin could pin it down. However, all he said was, "You're still assuming I'm the one who did that."

"But," Rin continued, waving the technicality aside as something unworthy of notice, "you won't so much as say a kind word to your own brother, who has never asked you for anything or done anything to you except give you a second chance you've done nothing to deserve?"

"Cave girl sound smartical," was Simon's only reply, the mocking tone dry enough to fool anyone and everyone. "Where she learn talk so pretty?"

Rin threw up her hands in disgust. "Why do I even bother?"

"Sorry, sorry." He actually sounded as though he meant it. Maybe. A little bit. He went silent for a long time after that, studying his food as intently as if it were capable of coming alive and eating him. When he finally spoke, it was with that halfhearted quality of earlier—as though he didn't know whether or not he wanted anyone else to hear. "You think you can save everyone, Rin."

Rin didn't know how to respond to that, so she took a sip of coffee and said nothing.

Maybe that made it easier for him to look her in the eye when he next spoke. She didn't know. Either way, he did it as he said, "Some of us are damned no matter what we do."

Rin stared at him for the longest moment, waiting for the punch line.

It never came.

XXX

Meanwhile, while Rin was getting a new glimpse of an old enemy, Jiro lay on the bed in his cabin, pretending to read while daydreaming about the handsome, bespectacled blond who was currently elsewhere doing productive and necessary things.

Jiro wasn't entirely sure what it was about Erik that attracted him. The doctor was the complete opposite of the men he was used to falling for; he was quiet, gentle, intelligent, thoughtful, naïve….and completely, utterly, one hundred percent dedicated to the people he cared about.

Jiro had always been fascinated by the standoffish bad-boy type, so falling for—falling in _love_ with—a man like Erik was completely unexpected.

Because yes, the chaplain was in love; of this he was absolutely certain.

He was in love with Erik's eyes, his smile, his laugh, his….everything. He loved that the doctor could alter his thoughts just by walking into a room, and he loved entering a room full of people and knowing that there would be at least one person there who was happy to see him. He loved Erik's insistence on waking up with the sun even when he hadn't gone to sleep until three o'clock that morning. He loved how the man trusted people even as he pulled away from them….and he loved that Erik never pulled away from him, for any reason.

But most of all, he loved the fact that he felt truly alive only when Erik caught his eye and flashed a smile in his direction.

God, he was in love. Helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly, head-over-heels in love with Erik Tavadon and all the emotional baggage that came along with him.

Jiro's thoughts were interrupted when their subject wandered into the cabin, smiled tiredly at the chaplain, and began to paw through the books on the shelf in the corner in search of something. He paused after a moment, however, and looked up to meet the eyes that were staring intently at him.

Erik had obviously been through the mill in the hour since he'd left, well-shagged and ready for a day of hard work. As promised, he had taken it upon himself to sort through all the junk in the brig, and he definitely looked as though he had been hard at work. His hair was covered in dirt and sawdust, there were streaks of some black substance across his face (oil, maybe?), and his clothes—which Jiro was almost certain had once been light blue—were now a gritty mixture of white and light brown. Jiro smiled; he looked absolutely adorable.

"….What?" Erik asked, and the chaplain could swear he was blushing under all the dirt.

The smile became small and thoughtful as Jiro stood and walked across the room until he was standing in front of Erik.

"What are you smiling at?"

Jiro said nothing, choosing instead to thread his fingers through Erik's hair and pull him into a gentle kiss.

Erik smiled when the kiss broke, some of the exhaustion disappearing from his face. "What was that for?"

There was a moment of silence, then….

"I love you." The words came before Jiro could stop them, and what was more, they felt completely natural. Completely _true_.

Erik would later swear his face had never been redder than it was in that moment.

But he would also swear that he'd never been happier.

XXX

The rest of breakfast passed in almost total silence for Rin and Simon. For once—the one time they actually wanted it to happen—no one barged in on them or called them away to work or did anything other than leave them entirely alone. Their few attempts at conversation fell flat almost instantly, and they eventually stopped trying.

"You want some help with the dishes?"

Rin blinked and stared at Simon uncomprehendingly.

"…Um, hello?"

"What?"

"Dishes. Clean. Rin want help?"

"Oh. Uh…sure."

Simon looked at her for another moment, then dropped his fork to his plate with a clatter and stood. "Great, I'll go get Monroe."

Rin lunged at him and grabbed his wrist, forcing him to the pile of dirty dishes on the counter with surprising strength. "I would've let you get away with that if you were anybody else. Wash."

She didn't look back at him as she gathered the rest of the plates from the table, apparently taking it for granted that she would be obeyed. Simon didn't know if this should irritate him or not, so he compromised by making a mental list of all the other things there were to hate about her.

The list was surprisingly short.

Simon was so lost in thought—and getting more annoyed every second—that he didn't notice Rin coming up beside him and beginning to dry the plates that he set aside after they'd been washed. They worked in awkward silence for several long minutes, until at last everything was stacked neatly on the shelves and the rest of the galley was almost disturbingly spotless.

The silence hadn't grown comfortable, exactly, but they had at least gotten used to it by the time they finished working. And, naturally, just as they _were_ getting used to it…Rin broke it. Go figure.

"So can I ask you something?"

Simon groaned. "_Again_?"

"That lighter that you dropped—"

"I didn't _drop_ it! You _stole_ it!"

Rin shrugged. "Whatever. Why didn't you pick it up after I left?"

Simon blinked at her. "I…huh?"

Rin sighed in exasperation and, after a moment spent fishing around in her pocket, pulled the silver lighter out and held it up for Simon to see. "I found it on the floor of the galley that night when I came in for hot cocoa. If it's so important, why did you leave it?"

There was no reply, other than Simon looking at the floor and shuffling his feet, looking uncharacteristically nervous. Finally, he asked softly, "Can I have it back?"

Rin blinked; that quiet, almost defeated tone was the very last thing she had been expecting. After a moment's hesitation, she held the lighter out to him. He took it and pocketed it silently, then took out a cloth and began to scrub the counter that he'd already wiped down ten minutes ago, his movements tense and his shoulders shaking minutely—in anger, Rin realized after a moment.

"Simon?"

That was all it took to snap Simon's tenuous control. He slammed his hand down on the counter and fixed her with the kind of glare that would have had a less courageous person running for the hills; Rin simply raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why can't you just stay the hell out of our lives?"

Rin's eyebrow went up far enough that it disappeared into her hairline. "Excuse me?"

"How I deal with _my_ life and _my _brother—that's _my_ business. It's got nothing to do with you, so bugger off and leave us the hell alone."

"_Excuse_ me—"

"No, I've been excusing you for too damn long. I'm done."

"Erik's my friend, you can't just—"

"I _can_ 'just'. When you're drinking at a pub or throwing food at him during dinner, you _are_ his friend. Right now you're just some girl who thinks she knows what she's talking about and really has no idea. And once you start asking _me_ questions about _him_ that you have no place asking either of us, you are crossing a line. So for the sake of all that is good and pure in this forsaken universe, will you _please_ just leave me alone and let me deal with things my way?"

Rin stared at him for a moment longer, looking dangerously close to exploding. Then the tense moment passed and she expelled all her breath in a huge sigh, her shoulders slumping as the fight went out of her. "Okay, you're right. I'll stay out of it."

Simon blinked as thought he didn't know what to do with this answer. "Good," he finally managed to snap before going back to his scrubbing.

"My turn to talk?"

The cloth stopped moving again. "Um…okay."

"You're right about me. I don't know anything about what Erik's life was like before I met him and I know even less about you. But I know what his life is like _now_, and as far as I can tell you're the only less-than-perfect thing in it. You and I both know it would be better for him if you just left."

"…You're right, maybe it would."

"But you won't?"

"No, I won't."

Rin sighed. "No, you won't. And I won't ask you to."

"Thank you," Simon replied grudgingly.

"You're welcome."

There was a long moment of silence, during which Simon went back to scrubbing once again and Rin picked at a peeling spot on the counter in front of her.

"I wanna like you, Simon."

Simon looked up and sighed—partly in exasperation, partly in disappointment. "But you don't."

"I _want_ to. And I usually get what I want."

Something in Simon's face shifted, and he suddenly looked ten years younger. The expression was gone before Rin could place a name to it, however, and the usual mask slid into place. "Spoiled brat."

Rin blinked. "Man whore."

"Bitch."

"Jackass."

"Drag queen."

Rin gasped. "Take it back!"

"I will not."

Rin seemed to swell with inexpressible anger. "You self-absorbed, egomaniacal, narcissistic, unforgivable—"

"Self-righteous, meddling, overbearing—"

"Bitchy, self-serving—"

"_Nosy_—"

"_Deplorable_—"

"ASSHOLE!"

The last word rang out into the silence, the only difference being in the timbre of the voices; the almost poisonous disgust was identical in both tones. They froze for a timeless time, staring at each other, chests heaving in pent-up emotion, eyes flashing, looking quite as though they were about to kill each other…or something worse.

It was the something worse.

XXX

Hours later, Erik and Jiro lay together among tangled sheets and watched the sky darken slowly through the window.

"Why did I wait so long to say yes to that?" Erik asked dreamily, his head pillowed comfortably on Jiro's chest and their fingers laced together over the chaplain's stomach.

Jiro chuckled. "Whole different experience when you're on the receiving end, isn't it?"

Erik's face flushed instantly, but he didn't say a word to the contrary.

"So…ready for round two?"

The doctor laughed. "Actually, I think it would be round, er…" He did a quick mental count. "Four? No, five. And I wish I could, but—"

Jiro then cut him off with a long, possessive kiss, his hands beginning to wander freely. "But?" he prompted, a twinkle in his eyes as he pulled away from the kiss.

"Huh?" Erik asked in a dazed tone, before pulling Jiro down on top of him and meeting his lips again.

XXX

Miguel sighed softly as he began to rise from sleep and shifted closer to Benji, his sleep-hazed mind not registering the pain as he jostled his injuries. It was a good kind of pain, and tolerable for that reason alone.

As the first few moments of consciousness passed, the redhead slowly became aware of things besides the man lying beside him. The room was unusually quiet—no loud voices, no feet pounding up and down the deck outside the door, no overdramatic cries about the ship sinking again—which meant that everyone was probably gathered in the galley. That would make it mealtime, which meant that Miguel had slept the day away.

He'd have to remember to do that more often.

Smiling happily, he moved again to press himself closer to Benji, enjoying the way Benji's arms shifted to hold him more tightly. He was awake now, but he'd be damned if he was going to make an attempt at getting up. Turning his head, he kissed the chest beneath his cheek and breathed in the fresh scent of lye and clean cotton. Apparently Benji had been gone long enough to eat breakfast and clean up; Miguel had no idea, as he had apparently been asleep again when his lover returned.

"Mmm…Miguel?"

"Hmm?"

"How long have you been awake?"

"How long have _you_ been awake?"

The redhead felt Benji shrug. "Long enough to get hungry, not long enough to do anything about it. You?"

Miguel chuckled. "A little longer."

"Oh. Do you want something to eat?"

Miguel whimpered a protest and tried to cuddle even closer—though to do so, he would have had to climb inside Benji's skin. "No. Comfy."

"Mmph. Agreed. Are you feeling better?"

"A little. I'm all achy. And m'tired."

Benji frowned and kissed his little lover's forehead. "You just need to rest some more. Consider it an order."

Miguel chuckled. "When have I ever taken orders from you, Benjamin Guevara?"

"Humor me."

Another chuckle. "Yessir."

XXX

When Erik and Jiro finally emerged from their hidey hole, it was to find the deck deserted and the sun beginning to set.

"Everyone must be at dinner," Erik commented. "I bet they're going for Miguel's leftover crab puffs. They all flock after his crab puffs every time, it's ridiculous."

"…Crab puffs sound amazing right now."

"Oh, thank God, I didn't want to be the one to say it." Erik grabbed his lover's hand. "Come on come on come on!"

Jiro laughed at his enthusiasm. "Calm down, the crab puffs aren't—"

"If Miguel made them, that means Benji got first dibs."

Jiro's eyes widened in a comical expression of horror. "Right. Go, go, go!"

Still holding hands, they ran down the deck side-by-side, hurtled around a corner…and slammed directly into an impenetrable wall of Simon-shaped malice. Simon blinked at them for a moment, as though trying to remember who they were, then scowled. "Where the hell's the fire?"

"In hell. Why don't you go try it out, see if it's warm enough?"

"Jiro…"

Jiro sighed, but desisted without protest.

Simon blinked again, staring back and forth between the two, then snorted. "Damn, but my little brother's got you _right_ where he wants you, doesn't he?"

Erik flushed deep red with embarrassment, but Jiro just grinned, wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist, and replied, "Yup, he sure does." _There, that wasn't baiting. Not at all._

Simon scowled. "How…cute…" Only Simon could have made that sound like an unforgivable insult.

"Move on, Simon," Erik said quietly. "We aren't bothering you."

"Heh. Don't mind if I do." And he did—though not towards the galley or his cabin, so it was anyone's guess as to where he might be headed. He only made it a few steps, however, before turning back. "Remind me, how long have you two been together again?"

Jiro's eyes narrowed as he wondered where this could possibly be going. "Awhile—not that it's any of your business. Why?"

"Hmm. Long enough to fall pretty hard for him, right?"

"…Right…" Jiro agreed hesitantly, plagued by the feeling that he was walking right into a trap and leading a too-trusting Erik along behind him.

Simon snorted. "Yup, just as I thought."

"What are you talking about?" Erik snapped, rapidly losing patience with the conversation.

"Loving and losing, little brother. Story of your life—of both our lives, I guess."

"You—"

"Wake up, Erik. You can't really be that stupid."

"I'm _not_—"

"Look at your life, dimwit. You can't possibly have missed the pattern."

"The—?"

"Everyone who's ever loved one of us—everyone we've ever loved—do you remember a single one of them sticking around long?"

Erik blinked. He couldn't even begin to formulate a reply.

"No one catches a Tavadon, Erik. We love the chase too much."

And before either of them could think of a way to answer that, Simon walked away, his hands in his pockets, his step quick and determined—and angry.

"Okay…that was weird, right?" Jiro asked after a moment.

Erik didn't reply, choosing instead to stare silently at his shoes.

"Come on, Erik, you're not actually buying into his game, are you?"

Finally looking up after another minute, Erik gave his lover a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Of course not."

Jiro studied him critically for a moment, then sighed so hard his entire body seemed to deflate with it. "Come here," he murmured, folding the blond into a tight hug. "I love you," he said quietly, burying his face in Erik's hair and placing a kiss on the top of his head. "Okay? I love you and I'm not going anywhere."

Erik tried to reply, but in the end, he succeeded only in nodding slightly and hiding his face against Jiro's chest. Several minutes passed before he finally pulled away, giving Jiro a small, but genuine smile. "Thanks. I'm okay. Promise."

Jiro smiled back. "I never thought you weren't." Grabbing Erik's hand, he tugged lightly on it and took a backward step in the direction of the galley. "You ready for food?"

Erik thought about it for a second, then shook his head with another small smile. "No, you go. I'm gonna walk around a little, clear my head."

The chaplain's brow furrowed. "You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Go, eat, relax. I'll see you later."

"Hmm…okay, if you're sure…"

"I am." Wrapping his arms lightly around Jiro's neck, he gave him a quick kiss.

Jiro hummed happily and returned the kiss. "Meet me back at my cabin later?"

"Definitely. Now go eat."

"Okay, okay. I'm going, bossy pants."

Erik chuckled to himself as he watched Jiro walk away, waiting until he'd disappeared into the galley before turning to stare out over the ocean.

XXX

Monroe hummed softly to himself as he wandered up and down the deck, his hands in his pockets, skipping every other step. He was in an unusually good mood, having just finished a huge amount of painting and repairs on starboard side of the ship—the side which seemed to take the greatest beating, for some reason. So, feeling quite accomplished and very proud of himself, he had put his tools away with painstaking care and pranced (there really was no other word for it) towards the galley.

After a moment, however, his progress was halted by the sight of Jiro entering the galley just ahead of him. Stopping short, he paused there on the deck, then quickly changed course, his mood suddenly unsettled for reasons he couldn't quite name.

It had been a long time since Monroe had felt acutely his lack of a partner, but lately, it felt as though he thought of nothing else. And while he loved his shipmates dearly—he really did, they were his best friends—finding himself suddenly and constantly surrounded by happy couples only seemed to exacerbate the feeling to the point where it actually, physically hurt sometimes.

_Snap out of it, Monroe. Quit being such a drama queen._

Heaving a heavy sigh, he plastered a smile back onto his face and entered the door through which Jiro had disappeared.

"Hi, Monroe," Jiro greeted amiably from his seat at the table with Benji.

"Hi, guys. How's Miguel doing, Benji?"

"Asleep again. Erik promised it's normal…" The captain sounded as though he were rather skeptical of Erik's authority in such matters as the physical well-being of others. (Never mind his chosen profession or the fact that he hadn't yet been wrong on the subject.)

Monroe smiled reassuringly. "I'm sure it is. You worry too much."

Benji smiled at him, drawing a genuine grin from the boy, and kicked a chair out from the table. "Come have some coffee, kid. You can commiserate with us. Or not—you don't seem like the type."

Monroe took the chair and cup of coffee he was offered. "What're we commiserating about?"

"Simon," Benji and Jiro groaned together.

Monroe shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Oh." Then, after a moment's hesitation, "What did he do?"

Jiro smiled slightly. "Nothing you need to worry about, Monroe."

"Yeah, he's just being a pain in our asses as usual. Even when he hasn't done anything, it bugs us, y'know?"

"He scares me," Monroe said suddenly, a moment after Benji had lapsed into silence. He said it quietly, fearfully, looking around at the door as he spoke, as though Simon might burst through it at any moment and gobble him up.

"Ah, don't let him scare you, Monroe," Jiro replied, placing a strong arm around the handyman's shoulders. "We'll protect you, don't worry."

Monroe practically glowed, his grin nearly splitting his face in half. "I know."

XXX

Monroe left the galley an hour later, his good mood back in full force, buoyed by caffeine and the friendship of some of the best people he'd ever known. Feeling infinitely better, he set off towards the crow's nest with no particular goal in mind other than a hope of enjoying what promised to be a beautiful sunset.

But thoughts of the seascape were quickly driven out of his mind upon reaching his destination. There, he found Rin sitting on the sun-warmed deck, huddled against the wall and looking as though her world were coming to a swift and decisive end.

"Rin?"

She jumped a foot in the air and turned her eyes on him, a guilty expression on her face—though what she had to feel guilty about, Monroe couldn't even begin to guess.

"What's wrong, Rin?" Monroe asked curiously, and not without concern, as he crept closer to sit down next to her.

She forced a smile. "Nothing…exactly. I don't…think…"

Monroe blinked. "Well, that was…enlightening. Care to elaborate?"

Rin smiled, genuinely this time. "It's nothing, really. Just…stuff."

Monroe stared calculatingly at her for a moment, then let out a strange, strangled sort of squeak and pointed a shaky finger at her. "You got laid!"

Rin blinked at this rather uncharacteristically blunt outburst, then wondered immediately why she was surprised. It _was_ always the quiet ones. "I did not," she snapped, blushing all the way to her toes. _Well, this is unexpected. Here I am, having _this _conversation with Monroe, of all people, and _I'm_ the one blushing._

"You totally did! You have sex face!"

"…I wasn't aware there was such a thing."

"Well there is and you have it!"

"I do not!"

"Who is it? C'mon, Rin, who is it who is it who is it?" Each demand for information was punctuated by a sharp poke to Rin's ribs.

"I'm not telling," Rin replied, then immediately clapped her hand over her mouth. _Now you've done it, big mouth._

"Ha! I knew it! Was it in Tortuga? Did you know him or was it just a one-night stand? Are you going to see him again?"

"Monroe—"

"Was it good?"

"Monroe!"

"Oooh, it was bad?"

"No, it was— Argh, shut up, Monroe!"

Monroe couldn't help it; he collapsed into high-pitched giggles as Rin kicked him in the shins and stomped irritably away.

XXX

Jiro was lost in thought.

It was not a pleasant place to be, especially when his thoughts concerned a certain someone he loved and a certain someone he hated—the latter of which was, sadly enough, very important to the former.

Life was unfair sometimes. Totally, completely, almost hatefully unfair.

His thoughts were interrupted, however, when he reached the crow's nest (his feet having carried him up there of their own accord) and spotted Erik gazing out to the sunset only a few feet away from him; he couldn't help but smile as he came up behind the doctor. Erik bristled noticeably when the chaplain wrapped his arms around his waist, but relaxed after a moment and brought his hands up to squeeze Jiro's wrists gently.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Jiro asked, his voice soft as his lips were perched beside Erik's ear, asking a question that was almost rhetorical at this point. His hold tightened a bit as he rested his head on Erik's shoulder, his eyes closed and lips curled in a smile.

"Pretty...." Erik agreed, leaning contentedly back against Jiro. "I love it up here. It's the perfect hiding place, y'know? Not that I'm hiding from you. Just....other people." He sighed heavily. "Jiro? Do you....I mean....I'm sorry."

Jiro didn't say anything.

"I....look, I know Simon isn't exactly the ideal shipmate. God, believe me, I know. But...he wasn't always this way, you know. He was a good brother, for awhile. He looked after me, made sure I never got hurt. He was a good guy. And....I dunno, I think the real him is still in there. And maybe it's not buried as deep as we think, you know? Bringing him on the ship….it was probably a stupid thing to do, but…."

Erik's voice died as he ran out of words. He really didn't know how to explain himself...

"It was just something I had to do. Can you understand that?"

Erik's eyes closed and he leaned further back in Jiro's arms as he waited for an answer, hopefully one that didn't begin or end with Jiro throwing him out of the crow's nest.

"I understand, love. It's all right. You did what you thought was best and I have nothing against that. As long as I can be there for you I couldn't care less who or what you drag onboard," Jiro replied after a moment's thought.

Erik smiled slightly and, turning in Jiro's arms so that he was face-to-face with the chaplain, leaned in for a kiss. It was one of those long kisses that slowly deepened and was broken reluctantly. "Why are you so damned understanding?" the doctor asked quietly. "Especially with me? I mean, I never did anything to deserve it, and…" Another sigh, and Erik dropped his head against Jiro's chest. "Jiro... How did you know?"

Jiro shifted slightly so that he could look down at Erik with a questioning look on his face.

"That...you were..." Erik blushed lightly and hid his face in Jiro's chest again. "In love with me? I mean, I don't think I even know what love is. Kinda weird, isn't it? I mean, it's not like I've never...you know...been with someone, but…" Another sigh. "I still don't understand how you know when you love someone. Especially when… Jiro, this is all happening so fast. How did you know so soon? How does it happen so quickly?"

Jiro was silent for a long moment, combing his fingers gently through Erik's hair.

"You just....know. You know when you find someone that makes waking up every morning a joy. When you find someone who can make you smile no matter what and who will stick by you no matter what happens. You get the butterflies in your stomach and feel all light and…and airy…and funny-headed when you're around them, when you just think about them. It's never something you can control really, it just happens whenever it thinks it's good enough and ready. It seems like so much so fast, but then you wake up one day and you can't remember a time when you _weren't_ in love. When you weren't spending your entire life just waiting for that one special person to smile at you." His fingers threaded themselves through the doctor's hair over and over while he talked, the free hand pressing Erik to him gently. "It's like…he—or she—looks in your direction, or grabs you around the waist in a crowd, or…hell, even makes a joke at your expense, and…it's those moments that make you feel alive." He paused, and then both arms tightened around the doctor. "When someone can make you feel alive just by looking at you, that's when you know you've found the one."

Erik remained quiet as Jiro spoke, his face buried in the chaplain's chest. After a moment, he turned around so that his back was to Jiro again, and stared out at the ocean.

The sky was now completely dark. The moon had yet to rise, but a single star had appeared far on the horizon, shining brightly like a beacon of hope and promise. Erik loved this time of day... everything was completely silent, and it was the one time when it felt like everyone was completely at peace. At this moment, Erik wasn't thinking about his brother, or his friends, or his problems. He was just thinking about how good it felt to finally be in the arms of someone who genuinely cared.

"So…that's what love is, then?" He felt Jiro nod slowly, and smiled slightly. He was silent for awhile, wrapped up in his thoughts and in Jiro's arms. Then, with another quiet sigh, he turned his head so that his cheek rested against Jiro's chest and whispered, "Jiro? I think...I love you, too."

Jiro didn't say anything for a moment, but then he chuckled quietly and pressed a kiss to the top of Erik's head. "I was always hoping you did."

XXX

The sun was just beginning its ascent over the eastern horizon when Miguel stirred and reluctantly blinked his eyes open. Every part of him protested the unwelcome return of consciousness. He was hardly in any pain anymore—Erik had seen to that quite thoroughly—but he was _tired_! He wanted to sleep…

A sleepy sound next to him jerked him out of his annoyed dwellings, however, and as he looked around to discover the source, he felt all of his irritation melt easily away.

Benji murmured in his sleep sometimes, a nearly nonexistent mumble that Miguel could never quite catch; the words didn't matter, though, because the trust and love that radiated from the man even in his slumber was enough to keep his lover from wondering about it.

That sound soothed Miguel more than anything else ever could; if he was being honest, he would say that it was part of what kept him sane. Not a moment went by when he couldn't feel Benji's love for him and draw comfort from it, and now was no different than any other time.

The last weeks had been anything but easy; everyone on the ship was feeling the effects of prolonged exposure to Simon's presence and Erik's emotional one-eighties. Adding to the tension was Benji's stress over Miguel's recent near-death experience, and between Benji's crankiness, Jiro's protectiveness over Erik, Erik's insistence on acting like an insecure teenage girl, and the constant threat of Simon's continued existence, the _Archangel_ wasn't exactly an ideal atmosphere nowadays; at moments like this, though, Miguel hardly noticed or cared.

People often asked Miguel why he was with Benji. "You could have your pick of _anyone_, Miguel," they said, "so why _him_?"

The question made Miguel angry. It made it sound as though Benji didn't deserve someone like Miguel, and quite frankly, it was the exact opposite; if anything, Miguel wondered if _he_ deserved someone like _Benji_.

Because in all honesty, Benji was approximately a hundred times the man that most people thought he was, and it was moments like this that brought that fact home with absolute clarity.

It was corny, and maybe a little sad, but Miguel honestly loved to watch his lover sleep. It was the only time when all the worry lines were gone, along with everything else that made up the wall that Benji had subconsciously wrapped around him. The loud laughter, the sometimes-manufactured cheer, the ceaseless energy, the brash exterior…all of it was stripped away and it was just Benji there, completely at peace.

_It's because he's with me._

Miguel smiled. He hoped that was true, that his presence could provide Benji with some of the comfort that his insecurities (of which he was blissfully unaware) caused him to seek so relentlessly.

Benji started to stir moments later, and Miguel jerked himself out of his thoughts and moved closer to his lover, whose arms came around him in a possessive yet gentle hold as the blue eyes opened slowly and blinked away the sleep that clung persistently to him. Those eyes landed immediately on the redhead who was snuggled against his chest, and his hold tightened. "G'morning."

Miguel smiled happily back. "Good morning."

"How're you feeling?"

"Much better. I think I'll ask Erik if I can get up today."

"Mmm. Nope. You're staying right here with me. No moving."

Miguel smiled and snuggled closer. "Far be it from me to complain."

They lapsed into comfortable silence for awhile, just staring at each other.

_That's how you know you love someone. When you can spend hours just looking at them like this._

"What're you thinking about?"

The redhead's smile widened, and he reached out to touch Benji's forehead. "Just…that little worry line that you get, right here between your eyes, whenever you're awake long enough to start worrying again."

Benji's brow furrowed.

"Ha! See, it's already back."

The captain chuckled in spite of himself. Miguel laughed with him, then moved closer and wrapped his mobile arm around his lover's waist. Resting his head against the strong chest, he murmured, "You're worrying more than usual lately."

Benji's voice was serious when he spoke again. "Of course I am. And you know why."

Miguel nodded slightly. "Yes, I do."

There was a long silence.

"How do you do it, Miguel?"

The redhead blinked. "Do what?"

"Just…deal. How do you deal with all of this and still wake up smiling? I mean, I know how _I_ do it; you're the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning, and that pretty much makes my entire day, but—"

"What, and you don't think I feel the same about you?"

Benji was silent.

"You know better than that, Benny."

"Yeah…I do…" Benji looked thoughtful for a moment. "Miguel, did you ever think we would end up here?"

Miguel blinked again. "What do you mean?"

"I dunno, I just… What if…when I'd left…what if it had been forever? How did you know I would come back?"

The first made shrugged. "I knew you," he said simply. "You don't leave anything unfinished. And our thing was _definitely_ unfinished…"

Benji chuckled. "It's not anymore, though, is it?"

"Hmm…" The redhead pretended to consider his lover for a moment, then shook his head and buried his face in the other man's chest again. "Nope. Not unfinished anymore. I think we both know where this is gonna end up, don't we?"

"I like to think so." The captain's voice was serious now.

Several moments passed before Miguel looked up again, worried by Benji's silence. "Benny?"

Benji looked back down. "You've been reading my mind since we first met, haven't you, Miguel?"

"…Yes, and you've been reading mine. It just proves that we're the perfect match."

"So…what am I thinking now?"

Miguel blinked, then reached out to stroke Benji's cheek. "You're thinking…about how worried you've been about me…"

"Yes, and you'd better not _ever_ make me worry like that again, Miguel Sanchez."

Miguel chuckled. "I promise." He then resumed studying Benji's face. "You're thinking…about how worried you still are about Erik…"

Benji nodded mutely, then smiled at the comforting kiss that was placed on his forehead.

"You're thinking about how much you love me."

"I'm _always_ thinking about that."

"And you're thinking…" Miguel's voice was a mere whisper now, his lips hovering inches from Benji's. "About how much you want to kiss me…"

Benji smiled, and closed the distance between them to give his redhead a long, chaste kiss.

"And about how you want to spend the rest of your life with me."

There was a pause, and then Benji nodded wordlessly, drawing Miguel's head back to his chest and placing a gentle kiss on top of the red hair. Miguel smiled, moving as close to the captain as he possibly could. The vibes he was getting from the man today conveyed that things were weighing heavily on Benji's mind, and Miguel could think of nothing else to do to offer him comfort.

Benji was silent for a moment before he grinned happily down at Miguel. "I love you."

Miguel chuckled; his lover's constant mood changes never ceased to amuse him. "I love you, too."

"No, I mean I really…_really_…love you…"

The redhead quirked his eyebrow. "Oh, _do_ you now?"

"Yup."

"Prove it."

Benji's smile widened, and he pulled his lover into a gentle kiss.

"You're gonna have to do better than that," Miguel said teasingly after the kiss ended.

Benji chuckled and kissed him again, slowly and deeply.

"Hmm…I'm still not convinced."

Benji huffed in mock annoyance, and pushed his lover onto his back. Ever mindful of his lover's injuries, he climbed up to hover possessively over the smaller man and used every trick he knew to kiss Miguel senseless, that river of passion that ran through him bubbling up and drowning them both. It was the kind of kiss that made Miguel's knees weak and his head dizzy, and after it finally ended (several wonderful minutes later), it took him a long moment to get his bearings back. Damn, that man knew how to kiss…

"Okay…okay, I believe you…"

Benji chuckled. "Good."

Then he dropped back onto the bed and curled up to Miguel again, smiling happily as the redhead snuggled into his arms and sighed with contentment. Benji began to drift back off to sleep; he really hadn't gotten much rest the night before.

Miguel smiled slightly as Benji's breathing evened out, and he pressed a kiss to the captain's forehead. "I love you, Benny… And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too."

XXX

Rin sighed heavily as she stared at the ceiling of her cabin and idly wondered what time it was. She hadn't slept a wink, and she didn't see that fact being remedied anytime soon, but there was no reason not to try…

_Shizbiscuits, yes there is._

She was out of bed and dressed before the thought was halfway formed. "Shoot, oh shoot, oh sugarfoot…" _Oh, shove it, Rin. If there was ever an appropriate time to use the real word, it's now._ _Find Simon, gotta find Simon… Wait, what the hell? No, gotta_ runaway_ from Simon. Grr…where is that stupid miscreant? Ah, damn, I've gone off the deep end. This sucks monkey ass._

She found him at last in his cabin, still asleep, and launched herself onto his bed. Pulling the pillow from underneath his head, she sat down cross-legged and clutched it to her chest as she stated promptly and rather matter-of-factly, "You can't tell anyone about yesterday."

"What the _hell_?" Simon demanded, burying his face in the sheets and making a blind snatch for his pillow, which Rin held out of reach.

"It was a mistake—a mistake of which I am deeply, _deeply_ ashamed and it will not—_not _—happen again. Ever. Do you understand? It. Will. Not. Happen."

"Um…kay…"

"And no one will find out."

"Right."

"And…it meant nothing."

"Of course."

"And…that's it."

"Great."

"Yes. Great."

"So you're ready for round two?"

Rin blinked at him. "You didn't hear a word I just said, did you?"

"Oh, no, I heard all of it. You were very clear."

"…Right. I was very clear. A loud, semi-violent argument and an hour of angry sex—"

"Angry, _mind-blowing_ sex, you mean."

"—Do _not_ a relationship make."

"Right."

"So…never again. Ever."

"Okie dokie."

"So we're clear?"

"Crystal."

"Good."

"So can I go back to sleep now?"

"Yes."

"Good. Get out of my cabin. Come find me when you're ready for round two."

Rin stared at him for a long, astonished moment, then made a frustrated noise halfway between a scream and a growl, threw his pillow at his head and stomped out.

Simon chuckled. "Women. They're all the same…"

XXX

Storm clouds were gathering on the horizon as Rin stomped towards the galley, feeling quite as though the weather fit her mood to a disturbing degree. Slamming the door open, she caught sight of Erik and Jiro at the long table. The two shared the same chair, Erik curled up in Jiro's lap as they shared a long, slow kiss. "I hope the son of a biscuit eating bulldog dies a slow, painful death."

Erik's eyes turned towards the newcomer, breaking the kiss. "Um…good morning, Rin."

"I hope the blood freezes in his veins and he seizes up."

"Want some coffee, Rin?" Jiro offered.

"I hope he gets a horrible venereal disease and his penis rots and falls off."

"How about some breakfast?"

"In the middle of _sex!_"

Jiro and Erik shared a long-suffering look.

"Well, that killed the mood…" Jiro commented.

Erik sighed heavily. "Finish your breakfast, love. I'm gonna go walk around for awhile, finish up some work. Maybe go read for awhile."

Jiro chuckled. "Allow me to translate. 'I am going to grab a book, find the highest possible point on the ship (but not the crow's nest, because God forbid), and read until my brain leaks out my ears. I will then deign to go find my loving, wonderful, stunningly handsome boyfriend and shag him senseless before going to work and accomplishing more in an hour than anyone else on the ship save Miguel will finish all day.'"

"...Wow, you're good." Grinning, Erik leaned down and bestowed another kiss to Jiro before hopping to his feet. "Bye, guys."

"Bye. Love you."

"…AND I HOPE HE FINDS OUT AFTERWARD THAT SHE'S HIS SISTER."

Jiro sighed and dropped his head onto the table. It was going to be a long morning.

XXX

Half an hour later, the rest of the crew apart from Erik was gathered in the galley for breakfast. Rin, taking a seat as far from Simon as possible, proceeded to ignore him as thoroughly as she had ever ignored anyone (which was, she was proud to say, pretty damn thoroughly). She soon forgot about her plight, however, in the sheer joy of having so many people around to laugh with.

Getting up to pour some more coffee, Rin stopped short in front of the porthole, the empty mug clutched forgotten in her hand. "Erm... Benji. We have a wee problemo on the home front. Storm rolling in from the north. Looks bad. Real bad. Come look," Rin said, eyes widening.

Benji came quickly, and his eyes widened. "Oh dear... Someone go find Erik. Knowing him he's somewhere veeeeeery high up on the ship and he's gonna get tossed overboard faster than—"

Then a huge wave slammed into the side of the ship, water flowed over the deck, and the ship rocked sharply.

"Well…now," Benji finished. "Someone go find Erik!"

But it was too late. Erik had already fallen.

Now, under normal circumstances, a fall like that would kill a man. But, though Erik was human through-and-through, he was inhumanly stubborn. Of course, that still left him with the problem that a storm was upon them and he was in the freezing cold ocean water, being slammed under the surface by wave after wave as he looked desperately for something to cling to...

Simon, still in the same spot as he had been in when Jiro and Erik had left him, froze completely as he watched Erik fall. And suddenly, in that instant, he was the protector again—the one who would always save his brother from being hurt, no matter what it cost him. He didn't even stop to think about the fact that he'd been making Erik's life hell since the second he set foot on the_ Archangel_. The commotion around him faded to nothing; he, Erik, and the waves were alone in the world.

He was already moving as he yelled for help, grabbing a rope and tying one end around the railing of the ship and the other end around his waist. "COME ON!" he bellowed over his shoulder, as the group rushed out of the galley. Satisfied that no one was lollygagging, he said no more before diving overboard.

The doctor had just been forced back under by a giant wave, which rolled over Simon, as well, and hit the side of the ship. Simon surfaced quickly and continued towards his brother, who by this time was pale, freezing, and soaked past the skin and straight to the bone. And aside from that, the fall had not been a gentle one. His head _hurt_.

"Are you okay?" Simon yelled over the thunder as he grabbed his brother in a tight hold. Erik couldn't gather the breath to answer, so he just shook his head. Simon's mouth thinned, and he tightened his hold as he looked back at the ship.

Meanwhile, Rin, Jiro, Benji, and Miguel had grabbed onto the rope and were trying to pull Simon and Erik back, but the process was seriously hindered by the fact that every minute or so, a wave slammed into the side of the ship and sent them all horribly off-balance. At last, after at least fifteen minutes of pure hell, Simon and Erik fell back onto the deck. Simon was panting for breath and shivering from the cold, and Erik was past the point of being able to feel anything at all.

"Is he okay?" Miguel asked worriedly, leaning against the railing and trying not to show how much the rush outside had hurt him.

"No," Simon replied tersely.

"We need to get him to his cabin," Benji said. "Help me lift him."

"Jiro's cabin is right there, let's just take him there."

As the group headed towards the chaplain's cabin, Jiro and Benji supporting Erik between them, Simon disappeared into his own cabin without a word. No one had a thought to waste on him, however.

"C-cold..." Erik whispered. "Wet..."

"We know," Jiro murmured, kissing Erik's forehead. "We'll get you warm, I promise."

Half an hour later, Erik lay in Jiro's bed, blankets piled on top of him and Jiro curled lightly around him to provide extra warmth. The rest of the crew was crowded around the bed in varying degrees of silent, concerned frenzy.

Erik smiled slightly at the others, his eyelids heavy. "You guys can go. I'll be fine," he said softly.

Benji smiled and ruffled his friend's hair. "You scared us to death."

"Sorry..."

"I'll kill you if you ever do it again," Miguel said, gingerly leaning over to give Erik a hug.

"How was I supposed to know a storm would blow up so fast?" Erik asked, making an attempt at mock anger. It was a pathetic attempt, as the doctor was completely exhausted and fighting to stay awake. "Take your medicine, Miguel. I can tell that hug hurt just now."

Miguel rolled his eyes. "Typical. He makes like a drowned rat during the biggest storm this ocean's scene in ten years, and he _still_ can't stop thinking about drugging people up. Get a hobby, Erica."

"Jesus, you sound like Benji. Make it stop."

Benji chuckled, but didn't respond otherwise. "Okay, everyone, get the hell out," he ordered. "Give our guy some quiet time." For his part, he reached out and picked up an exhausted-looking Miguel, who yelped but didn't protest otherwise. He really was in a lot of pain…

The others laughed and headed towards the door, Benji taking up the rear.

"Hey, did anyone see where Simon went?" Miguel asked suddenly, stopping Benji as they all reached the doorway.

"I think he went to his cabin."

"Oh. Okay."

Then everyone was gone, and only Jiro remained, as this was his cabin. Erik smiled at his lover as he started to drift off. "Sorry for taking over your bed." Then, just before sleep claimed him, he closed his eyes and whispered, "Simon... saved me... Knew he was an okay guy..."

Jiro chuckled slightly, reaching up to run his fingers through the blond hair he'd fallen in love with. Hell, he would be kidding himself if he pretended there was a single part of Erik that he _hadn't_ fallen in love with.

Jiro didn't sleep that night.

XXX

Long after Benji had fallen asleep, Miguel lay awake in his arms. Something was plaguing him, something that wouldn't let him sleep until it was taken care of.

Carefully, so as not to wake Benji, the redhead slid out of bed, pulled the covers back over his lover, and slipped silently out the door.

Upon reaching Simon's captain, he knocked quietly on the door, half of him praying that no one would answer. Simon did, however, with a sharp, "What?" So, seeing no alternative, Miguel opened the door and stepped inside.

Simon, who was stretched out on the bed with a cigarette in one hand, looked a little surprised, but quickly covered it up with a quiet, "What do you want?"

"I just... needed to talk to you," Miguel replied. "Can I...?" He motioned towards a chair by the door, and Simon nodded, so Miguel sat down. He sat in silence for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. "Erik's gonna be fine," he said at last.

"...Oh."

"In case you were wondering."

"I wasn't."

"Okay. Well, he'll be fine." Then Miguel sighed. "Look, I didn't come because I thought anything would have changed with you. It obviously hasn't. I just came to thank you for saving Erik. He means the world to us around here, and if you hadn't gotten to him he'd probably be dead. So... thank you."

Simon took a long drag on his cigarette and didn't reply.

"Well... I guess I should go." Miguel stood and headed towards the door, but stopped in the doorway and turned back to Simon. "And... Simon?"

"What?"

"You need to talk to Erik."

"...Why?"

"Because... he's your brother. He spent his entire childhood looking up to you, before..."

"Before I started beating on him?" Simon said it so easily.

"...How is that so easy for you to admit?"

Simon shrugged.

"Well... Look, I didn't come here for this. I just came to thank you, and to ask you to talk to him. He's your brother. And...I don't care what you do to the rest of us, but...please, don't make Erik's life any harder than it already is."

No reply.

"Well... okay. I've said what I had to say, and now I'm going to bed."

Then Miguel left. He fell asleep quickly, curled up next to Benji, but in his own cabin, Simon lay awake, watching the minutes pass and pondering…

XXX

The _Archangel_ was absolutely silent, its inhabitants asleep; the only movement was that of the man at the helm, who was just drunk enough that he was thoroughly enjoying his night's assignment.

In one of the ship's larger cabins, two figures were curled up tightly together on the bed—a strong-looking man with dusky purple hair and a smaller, more delicate blond whose face was currently flushed with fever.

It wasn't that Jiro was used to being woken up; it was more that he had learned to expect it. So when he was awakened in the darkest hour before dawn by a slam and a loud curse, he simply sighed in a resigned fashion and peered through the darkness. "…Simon…?"

"No, it's the God damned Grim Reaper come to take your soul."

"…I think I'd much prefer that…." Jiro muttered, tightening his possessive hold on the man sleeping next to him. "What the hell do you want?"

Simon opened his mouth to snap a scathing retort, but closed it in a rather uncharacteristic move. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"No."

"Why not?" Simon asked, his voice considerably louder than the whisper that he'd been speaking in before.

"Shh!"

"I can go louder."

Jiro growled angrily. "Fine," he snapped quietly, carefully untangling himself from Erik's tight hold and standing to follow Simon out of the room. "Talk fast," he ordered, once the door was securely closed behind him. "If Erik wakes up and I'm not there—"

"He'll…what? I know he's gotten soft—well, even softer, I guess—but don't tell me the kid's so afraid of the dark that he'll come crying for his boy-toy if he wakes up all by his lonesome."

"Simon, you're the one who dragged me out of bed at an hour that Apollo himself would spit upon. I assume there's a _point_ to this diatribe?"

There was a long, heavy silence; Jiro began to think he wasn't going to get an answer. Then Simon spoke, and his voice was quiet, the words halting and hesitant and sounding as though they were fighting their way out of his mouth with every syllable.

"I…wanted to…check. On him."

"…Huh?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah, I did, I just…wasn't sure I heard _right_."

"Well, you did."

Jiro blinked. "O…kay."

"So. Um…"

"He's fine."

"Oh. Good."

But Simon didn't walk away, and he didn't look like he'd said everything he'd come to say.

"…Was there something else?"

Simon flatly refused to look at the other man—his sworn and absolute enemy, as it were. There were words tumbling about in his head—all sorts of words that he wanted, _needed_, to say. There were worried words, affectionate words, angry words, and all of them warred with each other, each fighting for the right to burst out first.

"Tell him…"

Jiro folded his arms and waited patiently.

"Tell him…that…" Simon paused, and the next time he spoke, his voice was hard and uncompromising. "Tell him I didn't do it for him. I didn't do it because I _care_. Tell him that he's…_entertainment_. Amusement. Nothing else. _Ever_."

Jiro snorted. "Oh, really?"

"That part of our lives is _over_. We're not brothers anymore, we're not friends, we're not family. And he'd damn well better figure that out, and _soon_."

"And you _really_ think I'm going to be the one to tell him that?"

Simon chuckled darkly. "Not in so many words, no."

He finally forced himself to look up and meet the other man's eyes; his own were as cold and empty as the ice over an undiscovered pond. No one would ever guess that those eyes were hiding such a wide spectrum of unexpressed emotions.

"But you'll tell him. You'll tell him to give up on…putting our…_family_…back together." He spat the word with such undisguised disgust that Jiro had no trouble figuring out how he felt about the idea. "You'll tell him that, because…it's for his own good. You know it as well as I do."

Jiro didn't say anything. There was nothing _to_ say.

"I can't give him what he wants. So…yes. I think you'll tell him to give up on me. Everyone else has. I have. It's…time he did, too."

And with that, Simon turned and walked away, leaving Jiro staring after him, his face a blank, emotionless mask. Then, with a sigh, Jiro returned to his cabin and wrapped himself back around his lover.

"Mmm…where were you?" Erik asked sleepily.

Jiro smiled and kissed Erik's cheek. "Just needed some air. Go back to sleep."

"Kay…"

The doctor was asleep again in moments, but try as he might, Jiro wasn't able to follow.

It ended up being a very long night.


End file.
